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There once was a fellow named Stokes Said a very nice chap 'though Viet Cong, A fair maid from North Minnesota There once was a doctor named Suli, Said a ship-shape fellow from the Congo, A hardworking lady from Brackley A mathmo with sudden propiety A young man named Kenny Mackenzie If n in a Taylor series Said a technique freak named Zeke, A professor of math at Dundee A darling named sweet Clemintine, Diff-ing x to the x is fun. There's a general rul for all this, "Than receive, it is better to give." There once was a man from Lapeze, (d.e.'s - differential equations)
There once was a number named i, (e to the pi ith = -1)
A man I once knew was a tutor, (d.e.'s - differential equations)
An exam my poor friend had to write, My asking produced a "Don't do it! These guys are as busy as beavers. God! Calculus! Pascal! This stuff There's no need to respond with ferocity A student from Pembroke once said, A function was feeling inferior; How can these equations reduce? (Non-linear difference equation without chaos)
Don't forget, those curves might cross, (Area between curves)
Mr Leibniz would often proclaim, If you think that your paper is vacuous, "The calculus! Plain as can be!" A mathmo with sudden propriety "Extremize f," said the text. To see how an economy grows, We can plot and plot 'til we plotz, If your thesis is utterly vacuous, A man had a certain evasion, Rinky, dinky, dinky, A strapping young woman named Evvie Oh pity the poor lonely guy; Than receive, 'tis better to give. "Who needs calculus, Click?" ranted Clack. Answered Click, "Knowing calculus, Clack, There's a general rule for all this, Wrote the tiresome Pierre de Fermat: A challenge for many long ages Rational, modular, cohomologically, The proof of the claim of Fermat, With a little ingenious phrasing, No higher power can ever be, We take an elliptic curve E, A mathematician named Wiles Fermat's Last Theorem beguiles. The time has come, Fermat opined, And Wiles's wild flings.
Sir Wiles wrote home to his mama Said Wiles, "I know it's for real; (somebody please explain - McW)
With an integer greater than two, A mathematician named Wiles He labored in search of the light, He studied for seven long years, This shattered Mr. Wiles's belief; Mr Wiles had been under the gun, Fermat said the proof was too large Now Wiles didn't mind paper waste. Fermat was all snickers and smiles "My butter, garcon, is writ large in!" A mathematician named Wiles A mathematician named Pierre
Who hid things with fogs and with smokes.
But then our young man
Taking hold of his fan,
Cleared the air with a couple of strokes.
--- Literary Group
Since our area's infinitely long,
It's likely that you'd
Be inclined to conclude
That it's infinitely big, but you're wrong.
--- Anon
Was drawing a steep assymptota.
When it got way too high,
She murmured bye-bye,
And mourned not a single iota.
--- Anon
Whose lectures were always unruly.
His straight evolution
Of the general solution,
Has nothing to do with Bernouilli!
--- Kieth Gordon
"Since our area's infinitely long-o,
It's likely that you'd
Be inclined to conclude
That it's infinite; but you'd be wrong-o.
--- Anon
Spent a day working out Pi exactly.
But that night at half ten,
She was found by a friend,
With her brain all fried up and gone crackly.
--- Philip Valentine
Felt he lived all his life much to quietly.
But he found out too late
Though he can differentiate,
He can't integrate into society.
--- James Cobb
Had trouble computing ln z.
He breezed through the r-part,
With the slickness of pop-art,
But the theta-part gave him a frenzy.
--- Anon
Goes 2 to 11 by threes,
For x = 1,
Convergence is done
'Twixt zero and two, I believe.
--- Eric Struckoff
"If you think sine-saving is chic,
And you want to save
Yourself from the grave,
Try cos and tan and sec."
--- Anon
Said, "If I were to pee in the sea,
The expression I'd take
For the difference I'd make
Is (dh by dv) delta v."
--- B H Jarvis
Said, "First sine, then cos, then sine;
And the minus and plus
Make everything wuss.
Can it not make up its mind?"
--- Anon
Change the n to n-1,
Then go back to n
And use it again,
In front of it all, and you're done.
--- Anon
(In case we have a pop quiz):
N steps down two ways
For the rest of its days,
And x remains right where it is.
--- Anon
Also, "Live, live, and let live."
These are words to clutch
But not quite as much
As "velocity equals deriv."
--- Anon
Who spent his life solving d.e.'s.
"They're easy", he said,
"But partials I dread,
I break out in spots and I wheeze!"
--- Anon
Whose beloved was moniker'd pi.
From atop their friend e,
And drinking green tea,
They twisted each term that came nigh!
--- Andrew Yeats
Who got himself into a stupor.
When d.e.'s were found
With errors unbound,
He put his fist through his computer.
--- Anon
In a subject that gave him a fright.
So he snorted a line,
To cut down sleep time.
And his math he did study all night.
--- Anon
I went into the test and I blew it.
My high did abate
At the word 'integrate'.
And I soon realized that I knew shit."
--- Anon
They've got the Monday morning fever.
They just grow, grow, and grow.
They're never zero,
And they don't remain one for long, either.
--- Anon
For me is proving too tough.
I'll drop out of U
And opt for a screw --
Fuck my teachers -- they've screwed me enough!
--- Nik Synytskyy
If you've asked to find group velocity.
Take the derivative in k
Of omega -- hooray!
At k-average, you'll find that monstrosity.
--- Andrew Yeats
"I'll take my mathmatics to bed.
My girl isn't willing,
But still I want thrilling,
I'll integrate, quietly, instead."
--- Andrew Stoker
Its life monotonically drearier,
Till at length with a yell
It jumped straight into L
And converged to the limit superior.
--- Leo Mosher
Must they live on bananas and juice?
Can equations non-linear
Aspire to be skinnier?
The solution might be of some use.
--- Literary Group
In which case you should take time to pause,
So you don't subtract
When add's where it's at.
'Twould be a lamentable loss.
--- Anon
"Indiscernibles must be the same;
The components of all
Are extentless. I call
These things 'monads'. And God is to blame."
--- Anon
Use the first-order functional calculus.
It then becomes logic,
And, as if by magic,
The obvious is hailed as miraculous.
--- via Rex Allen
Isaac Newton complained, "Can't they see
That though Leibnitz's clients
Claim he founded the science,
The hun really stole it from me?"
--- A N Wilkins P8506
Feels he's lived all his life much too quietly.
But he finds much too late
Though he can differentiate,
He can't integrate into society.
--- Anon
I at once (partial f/partial x)'ed.
I zeroed that, sighed,
(partial f/partial y)'ed,
But solving the two had me vexed.
--- David Morin et al
With cycles whose cause no one knows?
Our speaker has news
Of delay Diff EQ's,
And he'll tell us with math, not with prose.
--- Literary Group
This is file mbl
But we've got to plot the right spots,
Or those lows and those highs
Could elude us like flies;
Likewise the flips and the flops.
--- Anon
Use first-order predicate calculus.
With sufficient formality,
The sheerest banality
Will be hailed by the critics: "Miraculous!"
--- Henry Kautz
For solving differential equations.
He used random numbers,
To cover his blunders,
And the answers caused quite a sensation.
--- Anon
G provides the link-y.
But the x and the f
Are not to be left,
Unless you run out of ink-y.
--- Anon
Was handed a solid of rev-vy,
And asked for the volume.
She answered, quite solemn,
"It's not very big, but it's heavy."
--- Anon
His ex ran away with his y.
Then z came along
But then done him wrong.
Then his one-and-only turned bi.
--- Anon
Also, live, live, and let live.
These are words to clutch
But not quite as much
As velocity equal deriv.
--- Anon
"Differentials are gears at the back,
And a limit's a speed
That you cannot exceed;
So what use is this calculus track?"
--- Prof M-G
Helped them optimize speed of attack
And direction of hit,
As they skewered your skit
By bombarding your web site with flack!"
--- Prof M-G
And it's something you don't want to miss.
N moves up and down
Without making a sound,
And x stays right where it is.
--- Anon
"I've proved a great wonder. Hurrah!
The proof written large in
This very small margin,
'S too long, so omitted. Ta-ta!"
--- James Albert Lindon P9507
Had baffled the savants and sages.
Yet at last came the light:
Seems old Fermat was right --
To the margin add 200 pages.
--- Paul Chernoff A
Wiles and Taylor prove they are the same.
Modular, rational, nonarchimedian
Methods now justify Fermat's old claim.
--- Anon
Is truly a marvelous tract.
Did Pierre tease us all
'Cause the margin was small,
Or his writing was much much too fat.
--- Barry Mazur
The proof's detail is not quite as dazing.
It's enough just to dream
Of a finite flat scheme,
And to say that the proof is amazing.
--- Alf van der Poorten
The sum of two of like degree.
That shouldn't be too hard to see.
--- Joseph Shaya A
And consider the points killed by 3;
This "rho" must be modular,
And by facts which are popular,
The proof of Fermat comes for free.
--- Jeremy Teitelbaum
Overcame the severest of trials.
He, amidst great eclat
Proved "Theoreme de Fermat"
And provoked a succession of smiles.
--- Geoffrey A Kendall
It appeares to be suited to styles
Of diligent toilers
Like Gausses and Eulers,
So it yielded to Andrew J. Wiles.
--- Cyber Geezer
To talk of many things;
Of GL_2 and flat group schemes,
And local Heche rings,
And which ideals are Eisenstein,
--- Joe Silverman
And said, "I've improved Taniyama."
His mother replied,
"I am filled with such pride...
And to think, I once changed your pajama."
--- Johathan Matte
I've proven this theorem with zeal."
His doubters then said,
"You're out of your head...
You've just reinvented the Weil."
--- Jonathan Matte
It's something one simply can't do.
If this margin were fat,
I'd show you all that;
But it's not, so the proof is on you!
--- Ted Munger
Had papers stacked in large piles,
Since he saw a clue
He could show Fermat True,
Mixing many mathematical styles.
--- Jonathan Harvey
To find the cricial insight.
Young Andrew, it seems,
Had childhood dreams
To prove Mr. Fermat was right.
--- Jonathan Harvey
Expending much blood, sweat, and tears.
After showing the proof,
A skeptic said "Poof!
There's a hole here," raising deep fears.
--- Jonathan Harvey
His ship was wrecked on a reef.
Then a quick switcheroo
Came out of the blue,
Providing his mind much relief.
--- Jonathan Harvey
But the obstacles blocking Proof One
Fixed a much older way
From an earlier day,
And now Wiles has his place in the sun.
--- Jonathan Harvey
To fit in the right or left marge.
True, back on the paper
Or proof made to taper,
Might help, but he said, "I'm in charge!"
--- Marion Cohen
In fact, it was true to his taste
To use up whole reams
To live up to his dreams,
And he crossed out instead of erased.
--- Marion Cohen
As he smugly stayed clear of the aisle,
And he thought, "They'll be glum
But the proof will succumb,
Though it's going to take quite awhile."
--- Marion Cohen
A diner was heard to be chargin'.
"I had to write there,"
Exclaimed waiter Pierre,
"I couldn't find room in the margarine."
--- Everett Howe et al P0201
Came up with a proof for the files.
He stretched Fermat's margin
And managed to barge in
Where others lay felled on their trials.
--- Matt Perriens
Thought "I wonder if someone will care
If I say there's a proof
And then somewhat aloof,
Admit I can't fit it in there."
--- Jonathan Matte
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