One sunny day, Jack said to Jill,
"Hey, let's get a pail we can fill."
"Then", Jill said, "When done,
We can both have some fun,
And take a quick roll down the hill."
--- Evyln Bogen

Jack and Jill climbed that hill as they oughter;
They each had a buck and a quarter.
Jill came down with a laugh,
And two and a half;
They didn't go up there for water!
--- John Miller 0047

Jack and Jill went up the hill,
And in the air there was a chill.
Her nips stood firm,
And she did squirm,
Then Jack her iron will did kill.
--- Ogni Gioia

Jack and Jill sought out their thrill,
As Jill said, "Jack! You fit the bill!
But please confirm...
Conserve your sperm.
I'll love you for your pacing skill"
--- Ogni Gioia

Jill thought, "Now that hill is a SCHLEP.
But I know young Jack has the pep
To help me with pail,
If he thinks that tail
Is reward for his gallant step."
--- Chris Papa

I then fought with Jill for her Jack;
With her pail I gave her a sound smack.
She rolled down the hill,
While we had our fill
Of sweet loving till she stumbled back.
--- Jeanie

Jill said to Jack, "Understand
This safety device I have planned.
When we're on that hill trip,
And you start to slip,
Remember -- let go of my hand!"
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada

A young couple by name Jack and Jill
Walked quickly up a steep hill.
When they got to the peak
They were both feeling weak,
They had to have a bloody big pill.
--- Etio and Physio Lim P0206

There is water, of course, in a rill,
But I doubt at the top of a hill;
There was some kind of rumble
When Jack took a tumble,
And he probably tumbled for Jill.
--- Lims Unlimited

Old Jack chased young Jill, a friend's daughter,
Way up on the hill, where he caught her.
She put down the pail
And wiggled her tail.
He pumped her instead of the water.
--- David Miller

"Jack and Jill," many cynics here say,
"Climbed the hill for a roll in the hay."
But that isn't true;
There wasn't a screw.
Jill said, "Let's," but dear Jack is quite gay.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0208

Little Jack was a close friend of Jill.
She told him she was taking the pill.
It was then he taught her
To forget the water;
Spread her legs and then gave her a thrill.
--- Tom Patton P0208

It's been nine months since Jack visited Jill,
Who lives way over the hill.
Jill did spill her water,
And birthed a daughter.
She's now on the birth control pill.
--- Jillian

Poor Jill and her daughter now weep;
Jack's nowhere around now, that creep!
I've heard around town,
He's out running around
With that hussy, Little Bo Peep!
--- Kaylin

Jack didn't get far with Bo Peep,
Once in bed there she went straight to sleep.
So in his frustration
To his ministrations,
He went out and buggered her sheep.
--- Tiddy Ogg

When Jack ran his tongue over Jill,
As she lay on her back, on the hill,
Abandoning shame,
She shrieked when she came;
Her bold exclamations were shrill.
--- Cap'n Bean P0208

Jack and Jill went up the hill;
Both wanted a great big thrill.
Jack fell down
And broke Jill's crown.
Who will pay her dental bill.
--- Gearhart

Young Jack had a SOCKDOLAGER day,
When he and Jill climbed up to play,
And once at the top,
With no one to stop
Them, had a good roll in the hay.
--- Chris Papa

At the lake's edge they stood hand in hand;
From the hill-top the view it was grand.
The girl took the pail,
From her escorting male,
Dipped it into the water as planned.
--- Tiddy Ogg

She bends down, and up her skirt flies,
And Jack can't believe his young eyes.
That secret delight
Brings his dick to it's height,
And his hand reaches out for her thighs.
--- Tiddy Ogg

That first verse was full of romance,
But now randy Jack takes his chance.
Without more ado,
Really wanting a screw,
That fellow pulls down Jilly's pants.
--- Tiddy Ogg

He's seen it and now wants to fuck it;
He gropes at his zip but it's stuck; it
Won't free his pants,
And Jill takes her chance,
And hits the poor sap with the bucket.
--- Tiddy Ogg

From his head now the blood was a-leaking;
Dumbfounded, he lay without speaking.
He just got a fumble,
And then had a tumble,
But not quite the kind he'd been seeking.
--- Tiddy Ogg

Now Jill, as such young ladies often
Do, at his hard-on did soften.
She soon loosed his zip,
And on it did slip,
And soon they were happily boffin'.
--- Tiddy Ogg

All afternoon he was up her;
Then they went to the chippie for supper.
Bought cod and french fries,
With vinegar, twice,
All tied in a brown paper wrapper.
--- Tiddy Ogg

That vinegar Jill also used,
To clean up Jack's head - so contused.
'Twas a good antiseptic,
And quite contraceptic;
So with it her pussy she sluiced.
--- Tiddy Ogg

So children, that must fill the bill.
That's the true tale of Jack and of Jill;
Thus pleasure and pain,
Are combined once again,
But they'll always remember the thrill.
--- Tiddy Ogg

The story is old, but don't chuck it;
At least it's a tale 'bout a bucket
That's managed to go,
Nine verses or so,
Without that damned man from Nantucket.
--- Tiddy Ogg

Jack and Jill went up the hill
And planned to do some kissing.
Jack made a pass
And grabbed her ass,
And now two of his front teeth are missing.
--- Anon

A woman named Jill, who was pretty,
Took her boyfriend named Jack, from the city,
To the top of the hill
In the cool evening's chill,
Where she warmed him up with some titty.
--- Cap'n Bean P0208

Old Dame Dob had put Jill in a huff.
And so Jill told her Jack, "That's enough!
When I smell that old vinegar
I can tell that you've been with her.
The broad douches all day with the stuff."
--- Don Moore P0208

A woebegone maiden named Jill,
Sat with overturned pail on a hill.
Alas and alack,
She lost partner Jack,
So VISA then sent her a "BILL".
--- Barb

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To smoke a bit of leaf.
Jack got high,
Unzipped his fly,
And Jill yelled, "Where's the beef?"

(in Ellery Queen Magazine)
--- Mark Grenier P9108

This is file kkm

Fellating her workman was very
Distasteful for squeamish Miss Mary.
He switched the agenda
And poked her pudenda,
Which made her not quite so contrary.
--- Randog

Well planted, her gardener grew
And she told him, "I've great news for you:
If that big cock'll shell
Out sweet nectar, as well,
You can feed those maids all in a queue."
--- Randog

Soon those pretty maids had his head ringing,
Like silver bells as he was flinging
His seed down their throats,
While he sewed his wild oats,
Doing what? Horticultural swinging!
--- Randog

There is this small man, short and hairy;
We will just call him Larry.
When he sees his maw,
He lets out a BAAAAA;
This is proof that the lamb had Mary.
--- Debnric

We treat Mary (of unknown locality)
And her lamb without proper formality.
Let me ask: Do we view
A young ram or a ewe?
Just pure Love? Or a budding bestiality?
--- Isaac Asimov

Mary once had had a little lamb,
About which she did not give a damn.
Following her to school;
She beat it with her rule,
And cried out: "I want you to scram!"
--- William K Alsop Jr

Mary, she had a lamb little;
Its bones were quite fragile and brittle.
Except at the rear,
The one she loved dear;
She'd stroke it until it would spittle.
--- Rick Limer T9711

Mary's pet was a lamb that was white.
It was with her all day and all night.
It went with her to school
And was good, as a rule.
The children like this unusual sight.
--- Arthur Pattaffy

Sweet Mary likes to be the boss,
But lambsey did not give a toss.
Soon he'll be in
The nice roasting tin,
Served up in a tray with mint sauce.
--- Jayne

When her father arrived from East Surrey,
Mary thought that she'd make a lamb currey;
But her cooking's so bad
That it made dad feel bad,
And he barfed up the lot in a hurry.
--- Tiddy Ogg

So how does your garden grow, Mary?
It certainly seems you're contrary;
Your pussy-lips sweet
Are now naked and neat,
But by Saturday night they'll be hairy.
--- Anon

Mistress Mary, who was very contrary,
Once lusted for a huckleberry.
Her wish had no reason;
'Twas not berry season,
So she watched some Curly, Moe, and Larry.
--- William K Alsop Jr

All else Mistress Mary forsook
To find how her garden did look;
Lovely maidens were there,
Silver bells to compare.
And shells crammed into corner nook.
--- Hilde na Beag

Mary, Mary, quite contrary,
How does your waistline grow.
It is no joke,
But a persuasive bloke
Wouldn't let me to say no.
--- Al Lichtman

We know now why Mary's contrary;
Her waistline is starting to vary.
It's no longer a joke;
Some persuasive old bloke
Was too deaf to hear her say "Nary!"
--- David Miller

There once was a cockroach named archy,
Whose manner was frightfully starchy.
He gave much advice
To the cats and the mice,
When he let them come in his hierarchy.
--- Joan

I also attest and do tell
How difficult it is to lim well.
Befalling the spell
Of the limerick cartel:
Archie, where is Mehitabel.
--- Res Ipsa

Archie's my buddy the roach.
Mehitabel's my pussy coach.
One catches mice.
One gives advice.
They're old friends I'll never reproach.
--- Res Ipsa

Paul Bunyan, Babe's owner of lore,
Was arrested when he crapped on the floor.
In defense, swung his axe,
But found his aim lax.
Now you guess just who's ox has been gored!
--- J Rath

Bugs Bunny no longer says, "What's up doc?"
For now he has a very hard cock.
Viagra he took; He
Can't get enough nooky;
His cock is hard as a rock.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

When Bugs Bunny refers to MAROON,
He means an idiot and buffoon,
The kind of moron
He closes the door on;
Sometimes Bugs Bunny was a poltroon.
--- Daniel Ford

The incomparable rabbit Bugs Bunny
Made a vow that seemed strangely funny:
"I'm swearing off carrots
And instead eating ferrets,
So my pellets won't be quite so runny."
--- Ystap

In the land of the Bumbley Boo
The people are red, white, and blue,
They never blow noses,
Or ever wear closes,
What a sensible thing to do!
--- Archie

In the land of the Bumbley Boo
You can buy lemon pie at the Zoo;
They give away Foxes
In little Pink Boxes,
And bottles of Dandylion Stew.
--- Archie

In the land of the Bumbley Boo
You never will see a Gnu,
But thousands of cats
Wearing trousers and hats
Made of Pumkins and Pelican Glue!
--- Archie

Oh! The Bumbley Boo! The Bumbley Boo!
That's the place for me and you!
So hurry. Let's run!
The train leaves at one!
For the Land of the Bumbley Boo!
--- Spike Milligan

There once was a little old Rat;
Built his house next door to a Cat.
Compassionate soul;
Adopted a Mole,
And rented to rooms to a Bat.
--- Marlene

The Bat, who was slightly insane,
Refused to go out in the rain.
Just for pity's sake,
Rat hired a snake,
To ply the Bat with good champagne.
--- Marlene

When tipsy, the rattle-brained Rat
Declared her mad love for the Cat.
The Snake and the Mole
Called her a clodpole,
Blind to the good care of the Rat.
--- Marlene

Right when the Bat staggered next door,
The soft rain became a downpour.
She quivered in fear
Until Rat ventured near.
Just getting back home was a chore.
--- Marlene

You must try to forget the Cat;
Obsession's not healthy, dear Bat.
Besides that, you're drunk,
The Cat is a Skunk;
He's stepping out with the Muskrat.
--- Marlele

Something snapped in Bat's brain that day;
She now runs in the rain to play.
She forgot the Cat,
Is happy with Rat.
It the "ever after" cliche.
--- Marlene

These rats and bats and voles,
Going in each others' holes.
Such mad procreation
And miscegenation
Disturb my peaceful repose.
--- Tiddy Ogg