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KLUDGE, seems to reek of word KLUTZ,
Though invented by computer nuts,
Should appy to those guys,
Elected, not wise,
We vote in, who think with their butts.
(system with illmatched components - Jackson Granholme 1962)
Most citizens have thoughts KNEE-JERK, Reactionary response, KNEE-JERK A Times columnist with the mind of a clerk, The bric-a-brac we call KNICK-KNACKS One must be soryy for the Kurd. A slice of Turkey the Turks do buffet, You'll KVELL to all, "Such a deal! It's quite common for investors to KVELL I think it is perfectly swell Grandparents do constantly KVELL Grandparents the great KVELLERS, I KVELL for my spouse's new part He had trouble with valve to aorta; When wed to a nag, you must tell her, I don't think of myself as a lech; It's not in my habit to KVETCH The person who keeps on KVETCHING With lover's LABILITY low Lip ornamentation, LABRET, LABRET piercing guarantees I'll tell you this; keep it between us, The full, pouting lips of the LABROSE, I've nothing against ladies LABROSE Ubangi gal we'd discover, In maze of tunnels, LABYRINTH, (colocynth - cucurb plant source of strong cathartic)
In LABYRINTH there's a way out, Lena, a LACHRYMOSE lass, I too, would be lachrymose In opera, that guy with a frown The Yankees were glad Willy Mays On weekends I dress like a slob, Sometime LACKADAISICAL love, In these days with speed supersonic, Judge not the soft spoken LACONIC LACONIC, a real short hand trope, At Oxford, the late Warden Spooner A virtuous lass from Laguna, Small holes in tissue, LACUNAE, To some, LADY BOUNTIFUL's best The generous LADY BOUNTIFUL, The Baker's Dozen is a LAGNIAPPE Katrina was no great LAGNIAPPE, Small bonus or "boner" perhaps Two decades post forty-two war, The men never left with a scowl. Lagniapping, lest you forget The doctrine of bold LAISSEZ-FAIRE, A LALAPALOOZA, great stuff, With butterfly kisses so LAMBENT, In cartoons, ideas are marked by He sees love in a LAMBENT glow, Politicians sure get a free ride, I recall in the old days of yore, Well I polished my shoes with such stuff, LANDLOPER is waft' by the breezes; The trial of "Slick Willy" did end, Sing Nonny and Derry Down Derry; He longed for the loose LAPIDARY LAPIDARY found husband not true. LAPUTAN's like playing with dolls, Neglect of needed, LAPUTAN, Occasionally work would intrude When weariness becomes LASSITUDE, Some LATITUDINARIANS dwell I bought you this nice LAVALIERE
--- Chris Papa
When we our pols see with wee perk,
Which we often feel
Is too big a deal,
To reward one who's just a wee jerk.
--- Chris Papa
To a great deal where hidden fees lurk.
I think like a bull
Understandable:
The dealer does his full duty shirk.
--- Daniel Ford
Has views entirely knee-jerk.
Without help from the left
He'd be totally bereft,
And would have to find some honest work.
--- Norm Brust
Is now valued, through kick-backs,
As collectors' treasure,
But whose taste we measure
By increasing need for sick-sacks.
--- Daniel Ford
In three countries, he's less than a third.
If these thirds were conflated,
Kurdistan would be rated
A real nation, not merely a word.
--- Norm Brust
As to spider did Li'l Miss Muffett --
No eating curds and whey,
But beating Kurds away
And hoping UN won't say, "Stuff it!"
--- Daniel Ford
I tell you, this suit is a steal.
What? I should lie?
I think you should buy!
I'm giving it away like shlemiel!
--- Phil Kinay
When their stocks are doing well.
But their sense of pride
Tends to subside
When their broker warns, "Sell before the bell!"
--- Norm Brust
That I'm permitted to kvell
About my grandkids.
But who would take bids:
A grandma with pics? Run like hell!
--- Barb
'Bout grandkids, who they think are swell.
Even those that can't cope,
Are addicted to dope,
Bad citizens straight out of hell.
--- Chris Papa
In all of terrestrial dwellers,
They see only good
In the neighborhood,
Of their own offsprings' young hellers.
--- Chris Papa
Inside of his tired old heart;
To have come from a sow,
It's, instead, from a cow.
No matter. It's state of the art.
--- Elois
It was "big time", not maybe or sorta.
Those docs at Umass
With knowledge and class,
Put a hold on his date with la mort(a).
--- Elois
"That KVETCHING's no good, you dear Heller.
And if you persist,
I'll not use my fist,
But will lock you up in the whine cellar."
--- Chris Papa
Butts and boobies my glances do fetch.
I like T & A,
But the girls won't play,
So I sit and I whack off and kvetch.
--- Eric Seaberg
When asked to get something, to fetch.
A cup for the boss,
Does not make me cross;
I just piss in it so that she'll wretch.
--- Eric Seaberg
Is not someone I would term "fetching."
It is such a drag
To hear them all nag.
Sometimes the condition is catching.
--- Barb
And rise to tumescence quite slow,
Samantha's sad date
Would easily rate
As dullest of guys she would know.
--- Chris Papa
May become with young, a favorite.
But flesh encrusting
With steel's disgusting.
I'd prefer not to belabor it.
--- Daniel Ford
Strange looks and occasional tease.
But some say it rules
To pierce family jewels,
That way you won't lose your car keys.
--- Darryl
That when a hot, litho-lipped Venus
Like Monica plays it,
There are few that praise it,
'Cause it can be tough on the penis.
--- Chris Papa
Produced by injections adipose
With the surgeons dagger,
Look like Mick Jagger,
And are often considered jocose.
--- Daniel Ford
But I think those stone disks are gross.
With even light chatter,
The create a clatter,
And God help us if the gal is verbose.
--- Norm Brust
If on the scene we would hover,
Feels it's her duty
To get LABROSE beauty,
Inserting stone discs for her lover.
--- Chris Papa
Supported by column and plinth,
The return to follow
Is aided by swallow
Of the cathartic colocynth.
--- Daniel Ford
If you're a smart hero, no doubt.
Thought the alley's full
Of more than just bull,
With those that just didn't have clout.
--- Chris Papa
Her tears, like full bladder, she'd pass,
But mostly from joy,
From sex with a boy,
Who thought her good wet piece of ass.
--- Chris Papa
If Dr Papa were to diagnose
In little old me,
A nasty STD,
Saying Norm, you've got a dose.
--- Norm Brust
Who's singing with heart breaking down,
In standard stage plot,
More often than not
Is just on more LACHRYMOSE clown.
--- Chris Papa
Did not play for rowdy Oakland A's,
Whom they could oft trounce
And out of race bounce,
With a few homers and double plays.
--- Daniel Ford
The better to eat corn on the cob.
Enjoying treats maize-icle,
With mood LACKADAISICAL,
I escape from the madding mob.
--- Norm Brust
Where partner need pull, or a shove,
Will move with fine wine,
And come-on supine,
All helped by a mirror above.
--- Chris Papa
This is file iml
Our speech, too, has gotten LACONIC.
Maybe, just as well,
As far as I can tell,
It's contents are brisk high-colonic!
--- Chris Papa
As someone who might be moronic.
For expression terse
Can be heard as verse,
Which may foster friendships platonic.
--- Daniel Ford
To describe ones' attempt to cope,
With conversant dull,
With two words in skull,
One's "yup" and the other is "nope".
--- Chris Papa
Transposed his first syllables sooner.
At dinner, when pissed,
This mystery hissed
Out something -- excuse the lacuna.
--- Nick Lanyon
Was given a rare coat of vicuna,
By a casting producer
Who tried to seduce her,
But got locked from the delta's LACUNA.
--- Chris Papa
Ought to make substances puny,
But not enough to tame
The substantial frame
Of singer Rosemary Clooney.
--- DMF 7I98
For helping folks who are not blessed
With means to get by.
But I know a guy
Who thinks it refers to her chest.
--- Chris Papa
Maybe noblesse oblige dutiful,
Was quite abundant
(That is redundant)
And whatever looks, was beautiful.
--- Daniel Ford
To make customers feel less a sap
For paying high price
On cupcakes and rice
In Manhattan bistro's tourist trap.
--- Daniel Ford
Dumped Pontchatrain in New Orleans' lap.
A total blunder,
The city washed under;
Buried in mountains of crap.
--- Chris Papa
A LAGNIAPPE might be, for some chaps
Who've paid dear for beer,
Loud music to hear,
And have a babe dance in their laps.
--- Gary Happock
I went to Japan on a tour.
Got a lagniappe pin,
Cloisonne on tin,
Thirty bucks twelve years hence in a store.
--- Elois
Unlike other hookers on prowl,
the lovely Lenore,
Gave service more;
A LAGNIAPPE, quick wash and a towel.
--- Chris Papa
Can land you in purveyor's net.
But the unwitting say "Gee!
This is nice and it's free!"
Subsequent purchases land you in debt!
--- Barb
Creates wealth right out of the air.
From where, I can't see;
It won't bother me,
Just as long as I get my share.
--- Chris Papa
Of which there is never enough.
I like it, and how;
It beats "Holy Cow!"
Which is both sacreligious and gruff.
--- Chris Papa
She covered her lover till ram bent
To her desires
And now he sires
All her lambs, who frolic where Sam went
--- Daniel Ford
A lone LAMBENT bulb in the sky.
But when Edison thought,
The old drawings caught
A flickering oil lamp on high.
--- Chris Papa
And is ready to altar go.
Post honeymoon then,
Transformed to mad hen,
Wonders, "Where did my sweetie go?"
--- Chris Papa
Except when they're on airways fried
In TV LAMPOON,
Which suits each buffoon
With comedy that's true and tried.
--- Chris Papa
That among stuff you bought in the store,
Products infinite
Had lanolin in it,
Or contained chlorophyll in the core.
--- Chris Papa
And thoroughly used often enough,
To produce a fine
Respectable shine,
They never got LANATE, or rough.
--- Chris Papa
Moves just wherever he pleases.
Or lady, perhaps,
Who sleeps with the chaps,
Dispensing kisses and squeezes.
--- Chris Papa
By Senators loathe to offend.
LAODICEAN stance,
To censure they dance.
As for justice, why they just pretend.
--- Chris Papa
She's off with her skilled LAPIDARY.
He was so base,
That she won her case.
Cash, gems and cars will her make merry.
--- Barb
With talents most extraordinary;
Who never was rough,
When playing in buff,
In positions that always would vary.
--- Chris Papa
Removed jewels, first slice went clean through.
In emergency room,
She said, now filled with gloom,
"I just did what stone cutters must do."
--- Elois
Except that in Congress, cabals
Spout for pious creeds,
To serve their own needs,
With President worst of fall pols.
--- Chris Papa
There's not no need or disputin'.
The Congress transfixed
By redactive tricks,
Manipulating Rasputin.
--- Daniel Ford
On cowboy's extreme LASSITUDE,
At which time ranch boss
Would approach on hoss,
And say, "Just lasso it, Dude!"
--- Chris Papa
I find it affects my attitude;
Increasing languor
Keeps me in the hangar,
Avoiding all life's vicissitudes.
--- Daniel Ford
On this Earth, with some zealots as well.
Of contrarian views,
The fate that I'd choose
Is that both will meet down there in Hell.
--- Chris Papa
To show great affection, my dear;
A mere bagatelle
For my lady swell.
Now won't you please stroke me right here?
--- Chris Papa
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