Frustrated, No Hung shaved his pubes
And took hormones to grow his own boobs
Then he sliced off his meat;
Transformation complete
Though, his business went right down the tubes.
--- Anon

They now live together in Ho;
Fuk Yu's scullery rolling out dough,
Which they make into noodles
And feed to the poodles,
To help make their testicles grow.
--- Anon

If on your mind is Jasmine Leaf's beaver;
Then duck Ho Fuk and his cleaver;
Give your Willie the best,
Let it rise from it's rest,
And give her your own beaver cleaver.
--- Anon

Ho Fuk's extra-marital bonk
With his cousin Yu Fuk Me-Ann Honk
Led inevitably
To another Lychee,
Name of Lotus Flower; alias Conk.
--- Anon

Now Conk (who's the favourite daughter)
Would like her proboscis made shorter,
But fortunately
For Ho Fuk Yu Lychee
She can snorkel for hours under water.
--- Anon

The restaurant, famous for glass-
Sided tanks full of lobster and bass,
Serves the freshest of fish;
If you fancy a dish,
Just ask Conk to dive in; it's a gas.
--- Anon

She wiggles her cute little bum
In the air and with finger and thumb
She grabs hold of a trout
Or a lobster; comes out
And cooks wonderfully tasty dim sum.
--- Anon

In the dark slips Jasmine the tongue;
Make sure it's not sis, Wai Tu Yung;
Get it puffy and slick,
And ready for your plick,
With a rhythmic clitoral strum.
--- Anon

Now Ho Fuk keeps his ear to the walls;
Just to catch you and lop-off your balls;
So you gotta be slick,
Get in and out quick,
And don't moan, it echoes down halls.
--- Anon

But the menu lists, Yung Poon Tang;
My favorite compliment for the Wang;
Slip it in, outta sight,
They serve it up, nice n' tight,
It's the appetizer served with a bang.
--- Anon

Yes I took Lotus Flower, alias Conk;
In the restroom for a quick bonk;
My wang got all slick,
She cried, "Yu Cum Quik",
"So, you bobo I not have to honk".
--- Anon

Yes I tried Lotus Flower Lychee;
It was as tasty a dish as can be;
Her tits were all pouty,
True chinee takee outee,
Next time, I'll try Chik Goo Wee.
--- Anon

Ho Fuk Yu Lychee wonders why;
Hu (his brother), had sex with Di;
They co-habitate in reeds,
The welcome mat reads:
Welcome! Ho Fuk, Hu and Di.
--- Anon

A Chinese chef, known as Cookie,
Teach new Chinese chef, rookie Cookie.
Bickie, or biscuit, all same fortune cookie,
Eat fortune cookie, promise big nookie,
Cookie lookee for lucky rookie cookie. Fuckee!!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

One evening while eating Chinese,
I spilled Sweet and Sour on my knees.
My trousers exploded;
My socks were corroded;
I went home in a pair of lychees.
--- Bill Wall

A gourmet in downtown Butte, no less,
Vowed that now his meals would be tofu-less.
"The smell is not savory,
The taste is not flavory,
And the sight is positively scrofulous.
--- Bruce Thompson

In a Chinatown eatery, Dutch
Told the waiter, "This dinner is such
That the salad's like shrubbery,
And the chicken is rubbery."
And the waiter said, "Thanks berry much!"
--- Hugh Clary

If you're going to cook on a WOK,
Learn to keep your eye on the clock.
Food gets done in a flash;
Overcooked it is hash;
Take it from me, an old WOK jock.
--- Norm Brust

When husband cooks food in a WOK,
His efforts I don't want to knock,
But the recipe book,
He gives not a look.
So I go outside for a walk.
--- Elois

While in China my folks were agog
When they first heard this strange dialog:
"Did you go to the store?"
"No, I'll go about four.
And after, I must wok the dog."
--- Al Willis a

Keep your fence sturdy, throughout;
Keep your dog so he cannot get out.
For a pup that runs free
May turn out to be
The "Special" at Chinese take-out!
--- Pikelmeister TP9806

French chefs'll submit in their blogs,
The best ways for you to cook frogs;
But now Ebay sells
Chinese cook book that tells
"Ninety-Nine Ways To Wok Your Dogs."
--- David Miller

At our county fair, Asian Chef Lauk
At a challenge just never did balk.
Bean sprouts and Bok Choy
He'd stir in sauce, Soy.
And each year won first prize in a Wok.
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9807

"Hey garcon! Vous recommend horse?"
"Naturellement; ze chef's tour de force.
Whole or half? l'orange?"
"Je suis faim; I will mange
A complete one." "Hors d'oeuvres?" "Of course."
--- Anon

This plate is a true Ratatouille;
And who says French cooking is hooey?
It still has the edge
On Angleterre's veg;
Ha ha! et a bas le chou bouilli!
--- Gina Berkeley

So sweat your courgettes till they're dewy,
(For l'eau is the foe of celui),
While, golden in huile,
As tomatoes you peel,
Your chopped onions fry free of ennui!
--- Gina Berkeley

Red peppers and aubergines bluey
You stew in fragrantio sui,
And add a last sigh
Of estragon and ail,
As you lie on the floor with the Pouilly...
--- Gina Berkeley

Mais qu'est-ce ce c'est que ce bruit?
Le rest du repas n'est pas cu-it --
But the guests on the mat
At the door of the flat
Go ratatatatatatouille!
--- Gina Berkeley

A greety young fellow named Wrench
Owned a cat, two small dogs, and a tench.
One day, in a trice,
He cooked them with rice,
And called the dish something in French.
--- Michael Palin

N. Bonaparte's life yarns were spun
As to food he considered most "fun".
It is said he'd fandango
With Poulet Marengo,
But would not waltz with Boeuf Wellington.
--- Loren C Fitzhugh

At Cordon Bleu, Charlotte named Glaze,
Makes hors d'oevres which truly amaze.
The men in her classes,
Not only make passes,
She gives the all straight bordelaise.
--- Anon

The Coq au Vin bistro's okay;
The food is delicious, I say.
It's served by a wench
Who's half Spanish and French,
But I'll stick with a cafe - Ole'.
--- Peter Wilkins

A greedy young fellow called Wrench
Owned a cat, two small dogs, and a tench.
One day, in a trice,
He cooked them with rice
And called the dish something in French.
--- Michael Palin

This is file fdm

A young femme fatale named Diane,
Said, out on the road with her man,
"Though eating your pud
In a car's pretty good,
There's nothing quite like coq au vin."
--- Anon

Lie down and relax right here, sweet.
Shed your shoes and I'll rub your feet.
If you doze perchance,
Then dream of France,
And the coq et palourde we will eat...
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Think tossing a pancake's a jape?
Take heed from poor Timothy's scrape...
He tossed one and now
He's in prison I vow,
For Suzette has accused him of crepe.
--- Peter Wilkins

A handsome young cowboy named Dude
Just cannot abide some French food;
Too prissy, offensive,
And so darned expensive;
Like his women, his grub should be crude!
--- Mark Levy P0211

A home-on-the-range chef, Pierre,
While making his famous eclair,
The insides perverted;
A hot dog inserted
And now, France's first billionaire.
--- Irving Superior P9901

There once was a German named Fritz,
Who holidayed out in Biarritz,
He came up from the scene
And the fine French cuisine,
And came down with a case of the shits.
--- Graham Lester

My Charlie's not only good-lookin',
She's mastered the art of French cookin'.
She's beyond compare,
The men stop and stare;
Too bad guys, she's already tooken!
--- Observer

The French are not known for their pies,
Their airplanes, their athletes, their spies;
And don't they succeed
In the one thing we need:
Those hot salty jumbo French fries!
--- Mark Levy P0211

A young man from near Milton Keynes,
Was into some strange kinky scenes.
He'd stand on his head,
Take a loaf of French bread...
I think we all know what that means.
--- Bill Wall

"It is curious how the world's planners
Arranged things," observed Mr. Hanners.
"The French grossly rude
Have marvelous food,
While the English have fine table manners."
--- A N Wilkins P8605

To the French our cuisine is a joke.
They dismiss us as primitive folk.
And forget we're unique in
(Gastronomically speakin')
Kentucky Fried Chicken and Coke.
--- Hugh Oliver A136A

Said the Master French Chef, Julia Child,
"By pate de foie gras I'm beguiled
And that Cordon Bleu
Is tres bien too,
But a burger and fries drive me wild!"
--- Loren Fitzhugh P9205

Don't vichysoisse me with no France;
All them Froggys in swishy-ass pants.
Their manhood degraded,
Being often invaded
By Germans. Those great bon vivants.
--- Anon

And don't speak of food from the French.
I do not think I could stand the stench.
Before I'd eat a frog,
I'd eat worms or a dog.
I just throw the French bread in a trench.
--- Anon

I've booked us a table for two
At the "Coq au Vin" bistro we knew,
When we last went to France
And I whipped off your pants,
'Cause you said that you needed a screw.
--- Anon

But this time, please wait 'til I've eaten
My oysters 'fore raisin' the heatin';
And please don't be coarse
While we wait for our horse-
Steak by shouting, "Hey Dude! Get yer meat in!"
--- Anon

"My omelets are fluffy, not tough,"
Said Henri, the chef at Le Boeuf.
"I blend them with cheese;
They're light as a breeze,
And only one egg is an oeuf."
--- Barbara

Said a famous French chef, Jean Maloff,
"Though my omelets are tiny and tough,
Let the customers beg,
For more than one egg;
For a Frenchman, one egg is un oeuf."
--- Anon

There was a French chef named Tony,
Whose gourmet credentials were phony.
When the menu would boast
Of his pate on toast,
It was realy just cheese and baloney.
--- Portia Little P0212

Here Pierre the French chef rests his head,
Whose 'potage a la tortue' has fed
Connoisseurs and gourmets,
All loud in his praise.
"The Great Pan," they lament now, "is dead."
--- A N Wilkins P8702

A French chef named Francois LaFaire
Used to promenade down by La Mer,
Where he'd drag an old quiche
On the end of a leash,
Or sometimes some fried pomme de terre.
--- Norm Storer

Now we're older and don't care a toss
For new culture; "It's nothing but dross"
It strikes me that French
Cuisine; it would wrench
The poor cave man, who'd be at a loss.
--- Doug Harris P0511Q

The cave person would never bewail
The French menu, nor would he assail
Their lack of hygiene
Or their manners obscene,
Rooting truffles and sucking a snail.
--- Arthur Deex P0511Q

I was served escargot, but I couldn't;
The pate de foie gras, I just wouldn't.
But the pretty young wench
Who was, in fact, French,
Just loved to eat things that she shouldn't.
--- Jerry Nordal P0211

My god, this souffle is supreme!
It makes me aroused for a ream!
I'll poke it right here...
Now don't that feel queer...
You've cooked in a filling of cream!
--- Anon

There was a young lady from Cork
Who tackled her soup with a fork.
When her parents looked pained,
She proudly exclaimed,
"That's the way they eat soup in New York."
--- Ogden Nash

There was an old woman from Wales
Who liked eating red dragon tails.
Then she went to Maxim's
And today she just dreams
Of dining on truffles and snails.
--- Warrick Elrod

There was a young abbess, too boisterous,
Who was sent off posthaste from the cloisters.
She poured vichyssoise
On the salade nicoise,
And Bavarian cream on the oysters.
--- Anon

If you give, to a hungry Frank, poissons,
There'll be hunger on the morrow's horizons.
But if you teach that elf
To poisson himself,
His future's wine, sushi, and croissants.
--- Arthur Deex P0211

Said a herring one day to a sole,
"Life's very unfair, 'pon my shoal!
While I'm stark on a slab,
You will be with crab,
Billed in French at the Ritz-Metropole."
--- Stanley Sharpless

The meal that you've fed me this eve?
Best I've ever had, I believe.
You, wearing bikini,
While serving linguini
Has really perked up your reprieve.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

What language was this written in?
Is it a low-class Italian?
It makes no sense to me,
Maybe to Chef Boy-Ar-Dee;
Was it anything to do with foreskin?
--- Anon

Roberto's a fine young Italian,
He's truly hung like a stallion.
He eats pasta all day,
But at night we will play
With his wonderful, glistening medallion.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Lasagna's the best - can't beat it,
But just remember to eat it.
'Cause he who hasta
Forget the pasta,
Will be condemned to reheat it.
--- Anon