Vital Statistics:
No hidden assets ...

Proud at the size of those nuts
He stands on his hind legs and struts
Though his pecker is hidden
He loves to be ridden
By any and all squirrelly sluts

              --Carol and Donna

Vital Statistic:
Most Shady First Lady

She was born just before Hallowe'en
Her consort's as vile as we've seen
Her new house has room
For her cat and her broom
And New Yorkers just love the obscene