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If you're think of breaking apart Do you hear that low rumble sound? A rumble you feel in your bones Late nights when it's quiet in bed, You say it's the world's axis rumbling? I hate to disturb your night's sleep The friction is heating our Earth; The twitch of Earth's magnetic field And now, the benefits double My mag amps are way unsurpassed; So limmers, if you hear a hum, The word, it is not really rumbling For logical causes I sleuthed Those mythic tales of maids Greek A geologist searching for stones The geologists argue in chorus A noted geologist, Walt, I went to look at a friend's mine; Oh Wow! You're amazing! Yippee! A seismologist fellow in Crete In an earthquake, the best thing to do My son called said, "Mom, it was neat! Bad things seem to hit us in three's; There once was a woman named Sue, By now, perhaps, you've heard the prattle At work at my desk where I sit; (Seattle earthquake, Feb 2001)
A seismologist describing a quake, A pretty seismologist, Gail, Her breakfront stands next to the wall, A Quaker lass never felt free A seismology coed named Schlichter, The West, in a tumult of chaos, The real reason for all that quaking When Big Sexy Sam came, he blasted, A geology student named Victor When Richter's scales upward vault Last night California shook. Tens of thousands have gone to their grave, The news from Sri Lanka's a cack; Suppose, in this case, that I could The beach bar on old Sarawak, It isn't as sick or as barmy He pulled off his old mother's cami- For that, Tiddy Ogg, I can tell I've news for both you and Ogg, Pop: It's true ol' Tid oft misbehaves What a hideous way to behave! Deep in the African Congo, It blows every thirty-odd years, Though lava will often form domes, The statues of Robert de Missens Mid lightning and thunder a-crashin', While Microsoft's market share tumbled, In agony, hiked from Samoa An active volcano is one St Helens turned trees into sliver. The locals ignore the vibration "Volcanic eruptions", she cried, A volcanic eruption one day A tiny volcano in Java Two geologists met, excavated, An anxious young lover named Hall I took Sally out back of the shed; Said my Sally, out back of the shed, A nice little number named Nancy A Western New York native daughter
Heavy rocks into fragments, the art
Is to strike them a blow
With a hammer, or so
Said the convicts, who knew it my heart.
--- Rory Ewins
It's something so very profound.
I have known for years
We need have no fears
When we hear the world going 'round.
--- Marlene
Eliciting satisfied moeans,
Is not from good sex;
It's much more complex;
It's from our Earth's revolving stones.
--- Marlene
The rumble is inside my head.
It gives me a sign
That everything's fine;
The world's going 'round; fear has fled.
--- Marlene
It must be the beaarings a-crumbling!
If the bearings are shot,
Then the poles will get hot,
Then they'll smash and through space we'll be tumbling!
--- Tiddy Ogg
But that rumblin's so very deep,
It's grinding away,
While your are just lay-
Ing down on your bed like Bo Peep!
--- Archie
To disaster it will soon give birth.
As the core overheats,
It'll blow us to bits;
On pieces of Earth we'll space surf!
--- Archie
Is seldom to humans revealed.
Dear sensitive Mar,
Just needs an iron jar;
A big one, not too much annealed.
--- H Welchel
Should Earth ever get into trouble.
Hermetically sealed,
I'll scan her bent field,
And fish her right out of the rubble.
--- H Welchel
They're all cryo-nitrogen gassed.
She shant need a flare
Or beacon out there.
Her final Earth breath, though, must last.
--- H Welchel
And think Earth shall be overcome,
Kiss something for luck,
Inhale a big suck,
And climb in a 50 gal drum.
--- H Welchel
As through the starred void we are tumbling.
It's trains on the track;
Cars on the tarmac;
At natural science, I'm bumbling.
--- Marlene Lewis
And when I was little it soothed.
The sound helped me sleep
With no need to weep.
My way through night's darkess it smoothed.
--- Marlene Lewis
Who eyes lachrymose tears did leak,
Were said to be clones,
Source of Amber stones,
Which rockhounds and geologists seek!
--- Barb
Found an odd-looking bundle of bones,
In a Cellophane bag,
On which was a tag
Containing the single word, "Jones."
--- Lims Unlimited
That the dinosaurs lived long before us.
But when walking down Yonge
You can still fall among
Some inebriate Toronto sore ass.
--- Hugh Oliver 61a
Once screwed a young lady of Galt.
She said, "You're proficient;
Is my fissure sufficient?"
But her fissure, he said, was a fault.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0638
Some water to smartly divine.
My stick it did quiver,
But my underground river
Tasted like rancid white wine!
--- Anon
The earth shook and trembled for me!
Our explosions abroad
Simultaneously scored
About 12 on the Richter scale, E!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Encrusted his wife in concrete;
He said as he tricked her,
"This is good to 9 Richter--
Since I've bolted the floor to your feet."
--- Arthur Deex P9605
Is to set about having a screw.
When you're done, you can say
In your nonchalant way,
May I ask, did the earth move for you?
--- Anon
The earth shook right under my feet.
The building did sway;
Got sent home with pay!"
I think his brain's turned to concrete.
--- Anon
We've had this crash and the midwestern freeze.
So what comes tomorrow
To add to our sorrow?
An earthquake's my bet, if you please...
--- John Miller 0132a
Who gave blowjobs until she was blue.
When an earthquake hit,
She bit into it;
Now her lover is now a girl too!
--- Ming-mei Wu
About the big quake in Seattle;
Folks say that the shaking
Was caused by me making
A fool of myself with my cattle.
--- Travis Brasell
My location when the tremblor hit.
The noise was like thunder,
My desk I dove under
And tried very hard not to shit!
--- Scott Amsden
Said, "Everything started to shake."
His words unterrific
Were not scientific,
But those were the words that he spake.
--- Al Willis
Once quaked, when a well-endowed male
Penetrated her chasm,
Inducing orgasm
That registered 8 (Richter Scale).
--- Ed Potts P8503
Holding porcelain, china, and all.
But she lives on a fault
Where the quakes never halt,
So her treasures are likely to fall.
--- Sheila B
To learn what an orgasm should be.
He seismologist beau
Predicted he'd know
If she ever reached seven point three.
--- Macsam
Had a boyfriend named Victor, who licked her
With an ardor unslaked
Till with ardor she quaked,
On a scale that surpassed that of Richter.
--- Taylor McCulloch, Playboy
Fell in the Pacific embraos.
When it afterwards came
To apportioning blame,
The fault was presumed San Andreas.
--- Hugh Oliver A140A
That made Seattle's building shaking,
And caused such a drama,
Is that Big German Mama,
A tremendous orgasm was faking.
--- Dirruk
This is file zwl
Leaving Flossie both flabbered and gasted.
"Well," she quippped, with a smile,
That's a lay with real style...
A seismological blast while it lasted.
--- Grand Prix Lim 72
Took his date to the river and dicked her.
He admitted his fault
In this heinous assault,
But was proud of his 6 on the Richter.
--- C Webster Wheelock P8311 A
And tremors start their ground assault.
When earthquakes came,
Who was to blame?
St. Andreas, 'twas his fault?
--- Irving Superior P9609
It made the seismologists look
For the telltale roar
Of tsunamis ashore,
And Bush is the greatest, you schnook!
--- Bruce
Whom a warning might easily save.
A child cries for mommy
When, like the tsunami,
We dismiss her with simply a wave.
--- Limerick Savant
This from a barman named Jack.
Business is good.
On pieces of wood
His regulars are all drifting back.
--- Anon
Make exception for Dave's bit of wood.
(Normally I sacks
These between-meal snacks,
But a wee'un might just go down good.)
--- Anon
Was hit by tsunami attack.
It sure hit their trade,
And losses were made,
But clients are now drifting back.
--- Tiddy Ogg
As the bloke from the Salvation Army,
Who claimed 'twas God's will
To injure and kill
The wicked by means of tsunami.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Sole, jumped on, when struck the tsunami.
He gasped, after thrashing
In incestuous passion:
"Well, did the earth move for you, mammy?
--- Tiddy Ogg
You're probably going to hell.
The incest's okay,
But I feel I should say
That tsunami idea was just...swell.
--- Peter Wilkins
I've come here to beg you to stop.
I know it's not recent
That you've been indecent,
But that was just over the top.
--- Cyber Wizard
And though his last line was first Dave's,
And while it aint funny,
He's right on the money
'Bout clients returning in waves!
--- Observer
You are each uncouth and a knave.
To mock and make light
Of what Guinness says might
Be the largest group doing The Wave.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Volcano Nyiragongo
Is blowing its top;
It's not going to stop
Till all of Goma is gone-o!
--- Tony Burrell
Resulting in many shed tears.
So why'd they come back
To build one more shack?
The answer eludes me, I fear.
--- Tiddy Ogg
It cools to something like loam.
It's fertility, you see,
(Just like Hawaii)
As well as, "There's no place like home."
--- Dot B
I saw in a few exhibitions.
I noticed the label:
Two people unable
To flee from volcanic emissions.
--- Peter Wilkins
Mount Etna erupted with ash 'n'
They did not hear it comin'
Because they were plumbin',
Consumed in a moment of passion.
--- Peter Wilkins
A volcano in Washington rumbled;
A mountainside where a
Collapsing caldera
Reminds them that all can be humbled.
--- Anon
To mid-Indonesia to show a
Good doctor my feet.
When I did, he said, "Pete,
Why, it's only a small Krakatoa."
--- Peter Wilkins
Whose eruptions are not nearly done.
So if you're near the crater,
Then I'll see you later.
You stay if you want, but I'll run.
--- Anon
Regardless, we have to forgive her.
For it was Mother Nature
Not the State Legislature,
That forced them to clean up the river.
--- Gifford Wherry
And ash with a calm resignation;
Popocatepetl
Is testing their mettle;
Flight get zero consideration.
--- Election 2000
"Make me kind of excited inside."
On Stromboli's hot summit
She started to thumb it,
When whoosh! Both her pussy-lips fried.
--- Peter Wilkins
Caused the king of Uganda to say,
As he fled from the scene
With his terrified queen,
"We've seen the last days of pomp, eh?'
--- Lims Unlimited
Appeared, but it spurted no lava.
Then a little brown mole,
With his nose through the hole,
Said, "I don't want to tunnel no farva."
--- Funfax Limericks
Became lava's who's heat devastated.
Their couplings volcanic
Caused tremors and panic,
And whole towns to be evacuated.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Romanced his fair date at a ball.
Though not as yet plighted,
They wound up united;
Privatum, pudendum, and all.
--- Armand E Singer 520
"I have something to show you," I said.
She said, "Ugh, what a sight!
I know looking's not right,
I've a place we can hide it instead."
--- John Miller 0038
"That's all of THIS, till we're wed.
'Cause what we just did
Could result in a kid,
And besides, I'd prefer it in bed."
--- John Miller 0039
Got all liquored up and romancy.
A fellow named Anson
Did all the romancin'
And entered his tool in her pantsy.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Wrote suggestive light verse she should naughter;
The California Casanova
Then tumbled her ova,
And she found herself deep in hot water.
--- Robin K Willoughby P8505
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