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In the hayloft, my country bush-bunny, But Sweet Thing can't hold out forever; In a haystack, at a time we've appointed, With a full picnic basket, plus blanket, In a quiet spot in the tall grass, She was lazily rocking her hips, On her back, then, she looked sleepy eyed; She wore tennies and white cotton socks; 'Neath her skirt, she was bare! My dear pet! Through the sheer blouse, could see such fine nips; Her lips got a more reddish tint; Into Heaven I plunged, hy-dee-ho! Now and then, sure, we both had to stop; After hours of this rip-snorting bout, My Sweet Thing now grins like a shark; There is a young woman from Riga She blushed, did the cutie from Victor A lady from Briston named Bligh, In college a coed Miss Aker, His hand smoothes its way up my thigh. Perhaps we could start with the knee. If I place my hand on his chest That still is not sensual, true? I don't think it needs to be said, Teaching tricks to one so attentive But I will forgive your transgression, More lovely thou art, dearest May, The tight pants which were worn by Miss Pink The weather's so cold and so musty; Until one particular feller If you make it over today, A shrewed little cocksman named Canning I have this cute name for my Gwen; A rascal far gone in lechery, The wife of a preacher named Weyman There once was a man from Dayton, An extremely preoccupied tutor, I'll be there, Ladies, within hours, Through the window a spinster named Barrett Though it never amounted to much, A biology major named Max A lad selling lewd magazines A fragile young maid from Brome Lake There's nothing wrong with our Trudy, A fervent young lad set aflame There was a young girl named Flo, There was a young man from the Nile, "Appalling!", said Mrs. O'Shay, Many seemed to decide it's no use; There really is no high art He's certainly not Mr. Right, We know what you're thinking are few; I spoke to my old mate Dim Jim, There was a young lover from Bristol Monique, a French dame from Paree, He quietly asks her to stay, Distracted, this wasn't the plan; While watching "Two men in a boat," When a lady feels low," says McGee, A maid on a farm outside Mold, He tried to kiss and romance her; "My final answer it is; On a survey of first dates Prof. Ness, Said a genial, self-confident chap, In opera, often called horse, Al Nino, predictor of weather,
Plays hard-to-get, just to be funny;
I'll moan and I'll cry
For Sweet Thing's hair pie;
That nectar! That tongue-in-groove honey!
--- Anon
She's horny, and won't be too clever;
Soon my hands clutch her fanny,
As I slurp in her cranny;
It's our favorite rural endeavour!
--- Anon
We frolic 'till I get her annointed;
Oh, my Sweet Thing is wild;
And what's got me beguiled,
By gum, this here chick's double-jointed!
--- Anon
In a meadow for a nice outdoor banquet,
Found a spot quite obscure;
See, my Sweet Thing's demure,
But her love-engine wants me to crank it!
--- Anon
Near a bunch of some sweet sassafras,
With my Sweet Thing, o'er lunch,
Soon, I got a strong hunch
That some good things would sure come to pass.
--- Anon
While my Sweet Thing was feeding me chips;
While her hands to me clung,
I put grapes on her tongue;
With my finger, I stroked her moist lips.
--- Anon
Up my forearm, her foot did a slide,
With a li'l playful yelp,
Naughty Sweet Thing said: "Help,
With my shoe lace: it needs to be tied."
--- Anon
Pleated skirt a bit shorter'n frocks;
I tied that shoe string,
For my 'helpless' Sweet Thing;
Then I saw the prize dream of most jocks!
--- Anon
Such a Sweet Thing! I still see it yet!
Her muff made me buzz;
'Twas mostly peach fuzz;
And her cleft was already quite wet!
--- Anon
Like two tent-poles they pushed, with hard tips;
Fingers traced Sweet Thing's thighs,
Lightly following my eyes;
Then I stroked her warm tummy and hips!
--- Anon
My Sweet Thing was dropping a hint!
I pulled off my pants
To free up my lance;
Got going, while her eyes had that glint!
--- Anon
Grinding groins, how it set us aglow!
And Sweet Thing just laughed
With joy when my shaft
Got her drenched with a seminal flow!
--- Anon
Had some fruit juice, and shared a gumdrop
In between the four lips;
Amidst tangling tongue tips!
Oh, my Sweet Thing! I climbed back on top!
--- Anon
We were due to go home, without doubt;
"C'mon, more!" Sweet Thing whooped;
"No more, love, I'm pooped!"
I stood up, and my legs near gave out!
--- Anon
Bought me something, she says, on a lark;
She just nudges and winks;
She won't tell, but methinks
It's a cod-piece that glows in the dark!
--- Allen Wolverton
With morals depressingly meager.
She's seduced twice a week
By a lecherous Greek
If "seduced" is the word when she's eager.
--- Isaac Asimov
When she told how the city dude tricked her
Into playing his way
Twice that day in the hay...
She fought, but he finally licked her.
--- Grand Prix Lim 76
Who all of her life had been shy,
Was cured in a week
By two Poles and a Greek,
Whom she met on the Island of Skye.
--- Michael Palin
Her chosen career, Undertaker,
To conquer her charms
You must cross your arms
And if she smiles down, under take her.
--- Irving Superior P8311
I utter a soft little sign.
That lump's cellulite.
No wait. That's not right!
I'm blushing so hard I could die.
--- Marty
He kisses it gently for me.
There's room there between
For now he has seen
How very bow-legged I be.
--- Marty
To feel his heart beat in his breast,
Then why does it race
All over the place?
If I don't touch him, that'd be best!
--- Marty
Why don't I leave that up to you?
I will just relate
On our little date,
I came home all black and blue.
--- Marty
That Richard would like us both dead.
If we could but charm
His intentions from harm,
Back to getting young women in bed.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Is not hard if you're inventive.
I'm inspired by you
And the sweet things you do,
As your body to mine is augmentive.
--- Anon
And we'll share yet another hot session.
Be they brown or pale blue,
They'll soon fixate you,
Not let's get back to our horny wee lesson.
--- Jayne
Than a heavenly summer-time day;
My heart beats and thuds
For your darling sweet buds
As you see from my trouser affray.
--- Anon
Would be hard to get into, I think.
Said Miss Pink, "It is plain
You'll get in without strain,
But first you must buy me a drink."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0296
She was getting so fat, she looked busty.
There was many a man,
Try as he can,
Couldn't get what she had, saying "Trust me!"
--- Mischief
Grabbed hold of her hair long and yeller.
In the gamekeeper's cot,
His cue found per pot...
It was young Lady C. and old Mellors.
--- Tiddy Ogg
I won't mind if the storms stay.
I won't care anymore,
Just as long as you're
Here to cuddle and play.
--- Anon
Haunts singles bars, carefully scanning
All the girls in a hunt
For a pushover cunt,
Which he says is "Cuntingency Planning".
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner
I use the word "chicken" and then
We have some red wine
And she starts to recline.
But once, I forgot and said "hen".
--- Al Willis
This is file zul
Lured maids to their doom by his treachery.
He invited them in
For the purpose of sin,
Though he said 'twas to look at his etchery.
--- Anon
Was seduced by a good-looking drayman.
And her husband said, "Nell,
I am madder than hell
To think you would fall for a layman."
--- Limber Limericks
Who got tired of sitting around waitin'.
So he packed his valise,
And he traveled a piece,
which improved his chances of matin'.
--- MrMalo
Was a charming but unthinking suitor;
Hence his girlfriend got mad,
And called him a cad,
When he inadvertently screwed her.
--- Margaret A Murdock P8311
Beforehand, you should expect flowers.
Now whatever we do,
I am trusting that you
Will not reveal all in the showers.
--- Anon
Observed a lad beating his carrot.
So she yelled, with arms crossed,
"This is Love's Labor Lost!
Why don't you come in and we'll share it."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1833
I thought I was losing my touch,
Till I found a young maid
Asleep in a glade,
And she followed me home to my hutch.
--- Limber Limericks
Is abreast of mammalian facts!
He induces Caesareans
In the looser librarians
And seduces the stacked in the stacks.
--- Frances D Sails P8311
Encountered a lady of means.
She claimed strong moral fiber,
But became a subscriber
When he once penetrated her jeans.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1368
Was obsessed by the fear she might break,
But succumbed in the end
To the plea of a friend
That "I promise to mend what I make."
--- Hugh Oliver 46b
She's never cross or too moody.
I'll take her to bed;
Maybe she'll give some head;
Then I'll be happier truely.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
An elderly spinster named Mame.
So she took out her pad
And she said to him, "Lad,
Tell me what is the name of this game?"
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1303
When asked if to bed she would go,
Said, "What do you think?
If you buy me a drink,
You know I'll never say No!"
--- Jon Makin
Who amours lacked savoir and style.
He preferred open country
And brazen effrontery,
To the wiles of conventional guile.
--- John Ciardi
The ways of young lovers today.
They grope and they paw
And grapple some more,
In order to get them a lay.
--- Anon
The carefully made plan to seduce
Their love 'neath the moon,
To make her heart swoon,
'Fore releasing that hot, sticky juice.
--- Clement Woods 1943 P0601
In getting her legs spread apart.
In order to sip
From those fuzzied lips
And guide in that rigid love dart.
--- Anon
But the way that I'm feeling tonight,
This Mr. Right Now
Looks good anyhow.
I don't think I'll put up a fight.
--- Marlene
In fact, I think there are just two:
You want to lay me?
You like what you see?
Not questions, but statements -- both blue.
--- Marlene Lewis
Of this, and, as oft is his whim,
He claimed sexy Freda
And beer's all you need... a
Warm bed, such a sinner 'n' 'im.
Whose motives were clear as pure crystal.
He invited some lass
To have lunch on the grass --
A target for use by his pistil.
--- Armand E Singer 223
Sat in a cafe eating brie.
Along came Marcel...
Looking ever so swell,
And now they are panting "Oui oui!"
--- Pam steadman TP9804
Watch sci-fi and clips of D-day.
The room's dimly lit;
She fingers her clit;
Now happily relaxed, come what may.
--- Emma Mara
No complaint does she hear from her man.
As she lets out a sigh,
Guides his hand down her thigh;
Brings new meaning to Dish on demand.
--- Emma Mara
She fumbled to find his remote.
With buttons undone,
She had so much fun,
It brought quite a lump to her throat.
--- SFA
"Make your help both effective and free.
Steer clear of analysis
And suggest instead, phalluses:
I have found that she'll always agree."
--- G0121
Once said to a shepherd, "I'm told
That you have a fine ram.
Now, I'd make a good dam,
So why not come into my fold?"
--- Harold C Bibby
He asked if he might de-pants her.
She replied, "No way!"
Then I heard him say,
"Is that your final answer?"
--- Anon
I only allowed you a kiss!
You think that romance
Will win you my pants?
Try getting a larger penis!"
--- Anon
Asked girls, "Would you care to undress?"
He found 84.6
Said, indignantly, "Nix!"
But that 15.4 answered "Yes!"
--- John Ciardi A
To the pretty young thing on his lap,
"Of course you can't leave.
You're here to conceive,
And you'll love it, so don't be a sap."
--- Isaac Asimov
The heroine, rescued (of course)
From hands of a villain
For whom she "warn't willin'",
Submits to more chivalrous force.
--- R J Winkler P8412
Pursued a young virgin named Heather;
Pondering the chance
To get into her pants,
Looked into her eyes to tell whether.
--- Tom Patton P9807
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