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At the last dance, a scoundrel from Media, There was a young lady of Formia, Vidi a young Latin lass, I have traveled the whole world around, There was a young suitor named Oliver, A wee Scottish lass called Miss Baird, A caliph who came from Kabili, A bottle of wine would be fine And I wonder if you'd like to see Well Cheri, without being rude Each morning a farm girl named Mears It was plain that she had a strong yen. A gentleman doesn't hold back Superwoman Mary McNair I've a teddy of black lace and then There was a young maid from Kuwait A very handsome young male, Toss the boxers aside without care; It doesn't take much to amuse A bashful young bachelor Cleary, There was a young lady named Beverly, "...Of a cock of that size, on a boy Maybe a single wet kiss'll A promiscuous lady named Ada A moral young lad who was trusting I've been celibate now for so long, "Oh Boy! Come here won't you please? There was a young lady of Stockholm The wife of a star-gazing man There was a young lady named Gloria, A handsome young widow named Vi, "My God!" screamed devout Mrs. Pike, If chased by a young piece of skirt, Experts say, "When it comes to wooing, An eager young file clerk named Irma A Panther girl stuck in a tree To satisfy sexual greed, Miss Gracie Mae Hopper from Lynn (MA) A young lady who came from the South, As they rode to the ton, Mr. Brown She called up her girlfriend to say I met this sweet girl in Des Moines. After things were made ready with pains. Let me put my possessions in storage, A student of Schoolmistress Maud He asked "What's a nice girl like you Dora thought he was hopelessly gay When this girl desires a man, An Idaho gal named Miss Grange Once again, there is really no doubt, A lazy, fat fellow named Betts, A steamy young slut in Carmel I'm wearing a teddy of lace; The gorgeous young gal looked so beddable, There was a young lady from Lynn (MA) I'd better stop now, 'cause my Erm A lonely surveyor named Shand, She looked at me, mortified. A voracious old dough-cook from Trent There was a young lodger named Byrd, My mother advised, "Never wed It is possible that you have heard, You boss me around; that you do. There once was a girl with a clit, A young girl knows how to entice A cosy young maid from the West An Irish colleen named O'Venus
Picked a wallflower and whispered, "I needia!"
Said the maiden undaunted,
It's nice to be wanted,
But you could have been just a bit speedia."
--- John Ciardi
Whose housekeeping ways would disarm ya.
When there came a cold snap,
She'd climb in your lap,
So her little base-burner could warm ya.
--- L0033
And vici her heart and her ass.
She fondled genteely
My membrum virile,
`ut veni to quickly, alas.
--- Peter Wilkins a
And I've heard many questions profound.
But in old Bucharest,
This question was best:
"Would you like to start fooling around?"
--- Al Willis P9702
Whose surname, ill-suited, was Tolliver.
When of his Intended
Asked how much he wanted,
Said Oliver Tolliver "All of her!"
--- Laurence Perrine P8405
Was seduced by the son of the laird.
With some crude hanky panky,
Above Killie Crankie;
She feared, but she dared, and she bared.
--- Anon
Complained that his harem was chilly;
So all his wives said,
"Then let's go to bed
And let us not dally or dilly."
--- Harold C Bibby P9710
Though I'm more accustomed to "whine";
But I shouldn't mince this,
I'm a bonafide princess
of the Jewish-American kind.
--- Anon
A little bit more about me.
Before we begin
(She said with a grin)
Or is this just irrelevancy?
--- Anon
(I'm a gentleman, never too crude)
It would thrill me to bits
If you showed me your tits;
'Twould get both of us right in the mood.
--- Anon
Would answer each time that she hears
"A-cock-a-doodle-doo"
With "Any cock'll do,"
Then smiling would pick up her ears.
--- Irving Superior P9011
She asked him to come to her den.
They imbibed of the grape,
They came and went ape,
And she asked him to please come again.
--- Al Willis P9710
When those animal passions attack.
And her quivering quim
Is quite desperate for him;
To be forceful and fill up her crack.
--- Anon
Met superman Rocky Adair.
With a flash of her eyes
And a showing of thighs,
She soon had him bedded and bare.
--- Clif Gauss P8401
Garters and silk stocking so thin,
The siletto high heels
Just meant for thrills;
Come to me when you have a yen.
--- Anon
Who was rated as tops on a date.
Though she started out slow,
'Twas the lads who cried "Whoa!"
At a point we're not free to relate.
--- Bennet Cerf Coll P9210
I was eagerly plying with ale.
He said, "Want the 'deed',
Like a book, I can read
you"! That book had better be Braille!
--- Anon
I'll toss my shirt in the chair.
Forget Scots and kilts,
And before that thing wilts,
Bring it over to me if you dare.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
A guy with his pants 'round his shoes,
When a lecherous old fart
Finds a bold little tart,
Making offers he just can't refuse.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Of girls was exceedingly leary.
Then a lady named Lou
Showed him how and with who
He could render his evenings more cheery.
--- Anon
Whose house was a place for much revelry.
She induced a young man
To sit on her divan,
And there she seduced him quite cleverly.
--- Albin Chaplin
Your age, really filled me with joy,
So give it some welly,
Stick that in my belly...
Come on, don't be bashful and coy."
Unleash your heat-seeking missile;
Or maybe a peek
At the heat that it seeks;
Or perhaps it will come when I whistle.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Seduced the whole crew of a freighter.
But the purser named Banks
Said, "Thanks, but no thanks,
I'm afraid I'll fall into that crater."
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0410
Was stopped by a girl who was lusting,
For a man with a prick,
So she dropped her pants quick,
But the hole thing, he said, was disgusting.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0362
Every frankfurter looks like a dong;
I've a halo incrust-
ed with diamonds and rust
That I'll let you have for a s(chl)ong.
--- Robin K Willoughby P8602
Don't stand over there, you big tease.
Let's not quibble,
I just want a nibble.
I'm here for you, down on my knees.
--- Ginger
Who took through the park a long walk home,
And at home did arrive
With a man who could drive --
Yes, he knew how to drive the old cock home.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0348
Said, "I've taken all that I can.
Your looking at Venus
Has quite come between us.
It's time you examined my tan."
--- Macsam
Whose boyfriend said, "May I explore ya?"
She replied to the chap,
"I'll draw you a map,
Of where others have been to before ya."
--- G1557
Seduced all the wardens nearby.
When the siren said, "Woo!"
What else could they do,
To extinguish the gleam in her eye?
--- L1593
As she fondled the stableman's spike.
"This is quite out of place,
And a great loss of face,
But I think I have fallen in like!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Then, of course, I am tempted to flirt.
Whether more, I can tell
From the way that I swell
And the pressure my trousers exert.
--- Anon
This is file ztl
Passionate kisses are ensuing.
Just like a spider's web,
Spun by a pretty deb,
Always leads to a fly's undoing."
--- Thomas Patton P0306
Once said, with an amorous murmur,
"I've chosen just one
Of my bosses for fun,
'Cause I'm giving my all for the firm-er."
--- Isaac Asimov
Spied a warrior taking a pee.
So she dropped from above
And gave him her love,
And threw in a shave job for free.
--- Minx Kelly
Girls, here's the advice you should heed:
Board a bus in Penzance,
Pretend you're in a trance,
You'll get all the action you need.
--- Ed Potts P8507A
Is a super inducement to sin --
Curvacious, flirtatious,
Voracious -- good gracious!
Give up, get it up, and go in!
--- Lance Payne P8805
Said she'd give her ass free to McLauth.
He said, "Show what I'm getting."
She replied, "Stop your fretting;
Don't look a gift horse in the mouth."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0341
Slipped his prick 'neath the young lady's gown.
When they reached the top floor,
She requested some more,
So she asked if he'd like to go down.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1246
That her life was in sad disarray.
"I caught hubby Fred
Making love on the bed."
"That's great, I got mine the same way."
--- Charles E Midlam P9702a
I bought her a thick tenderloin.
We went to her pad,
We kissed, and egad!
'Twas then I felt hands on my groin.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
My dear lover this night was detained.
My bed is prepared
And was meant to be shared.
Here's a handsome man. Need I explain?
--- David Finley
And release all my cattle to forage;
If the lady reported
Wants her creams now assorted,
I'll be happy to help stir the porridge.
--- Anon
With masculine passion was gnawed.
And served with high honor
When asked to mount on her
(His sheepskin read Magna Come Laud).
--- Norm Storer
Doing hanging around in this zoo?"
So I took him upstairs
And showed him my wares;
When he left he was slightly askew.
--- Anon
But she managed to lead him astray,
And told friends with a sigh
That he sure wasn't dry,
And his head was screwed on the right way.
--- Bill Backe-Hansen P9003
She set up an erotica plan.
When she is ready,
She gives them all heady
Delighting while they feel her can.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Roamed the hills for a purpose quite strange.
When she found a young hick,
She would measure his prick,
And if long, drive it Home On The Range.
--- G0602
'Bout which sex with I like to hang out.
So leer if you must
And satiate your lust,
But what if my wife should find out?
--- Robyn
Upon his fat ass mostly sets.
Along came a gal
And said, "I'll fuck you, pal!"
He said, "If you'll do the work, let's."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Told her boyfriend, "We can't very well
Do it here, for my folks
Don't care for slow pokes.
Lets fuck in a modern motel!"
--- G2288
The kind that is meant to encase
A woman's best charms
And delicate arms;
I'm waiting here for your embrace.
--- Anon
She even impressed one as edible.
And on the first date
She said, "Let's not wait!"
Incredible!
--- Ken Elrod P8209
Who had such a penchant for sin,
That hardly a lout
That invited her out
But she shortly invited him in.
--- Lance Payne P8805
In deshabille's making me firm.
She does not need to ask
If I'm up to the task,
Of giving a dose of my sperm.
--- Anon
Gave in to a native's demand:
She was eager to screw.
It was then that Shand knew,
He'd at last got the lay of the land!
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner
"I didn't know you had more to hide!
The things you've been in --
I know it's a sin.
But this time we'll just let it slide."
--- Peter Derr
Felt that milkmen were all heaven-sent.
She lured them with pies,
And then locked her great thighs,
Till they fell out quite battered and bent.
--- David A Brooks Q
Who woke in the night. Had he heard
Something stir? Was a hand,
Softly fondling his gland?
Yes, he had, and it was. 'Pon my word!
--- John Ciardi
The first woman who takes you to bed,
Unless the loose bitch
Is uncommonly rich--
Then propose to the darling," she said.
--- William N Nesbit P9605 a
Badminton is not so absurd.
This gal who was built
Showed no sense of guilt
When she had her way with my bird.
--- Al Willis P9511
Are you jealous my coochity-coo?
Now if Romance's high
And I see eye to eye,
Then sweet Romance is next in the queue.
--- Anon
That had its own mind and quick wit.
It peered from the hood
And said, "If you would
Nibble me first, then the tit...."
--- Funny Bone
A boy to the pleasures of vice.
Just how she does so;
Here's all that I know:
It's "nice" -- meaning sweet and precise.
--- Laurence Perrine P8503
Invited me up to her nest;
She had made it of twigs
And mistletoe sprigs,
And I didn't get very much rest.
--- Lims Unlimited
Took hold of a gentleman's penis.
Said she, "Let's undress,
And when I confess,
I can say there was nothing between us."
--- Joseph Kesselring P8312V
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