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A miss can be most intellectual A persuasive young fellow of Kitchener The tapestry of a romance Back then (in the Sixties) were herds A housewife from Rehoboth Acres There was a young fellow named Thomas I have checked with your calendar booking, I wrote this nice card, dear, to you, John Smith is elusive and tricky; I just can't seem to get laid. I was brought up without restrictions; When Greeley was fucking Miss Klutz, In leaving it all up to chance, The old farmer instructed Miss Tweed Don't take it too far like a dork, I like them younger or older. A sweet farmer's daughter named Kay There once was a man from St. Clair There was a young person named May, A chick found a dude quite all right Young Skinner was on to a winner! There's a lassie from Castletownbere, There once was a cocky young sailor, My dear, you'll not find me fickle, In Belfast dwelt a sweet maid, So you now stand tall and erect, Nancy, next door in her pad, A young maiden showed no remorse. An electrical man of Fort Myers A hot-blooded fellow from Cheeney, (I conquered, I came)
Only Joey ever will know Little Eva was quite a nice girl I begged for release from my plight; At a hall in a mansion in Paris, The prettiest girl of them all Though his boss was only a knave, So Arch saw a chance he could seize To forces quite irresistable, While Peter must leave for some work; While Peter's away on a job, While Peter is elsewhere employed, While Peter is earning his pay, I browsed in your unrefined file I re-read old Archie's sex rhymes. When will my Sweet P return? Well, Archie, I see you're no dunce Gift baskets filled with perfumes. My most charming self I showed her That's charming; but how many fucks After frolicking in her snatch, So to the doctor I go It starts with a few gentle strokes; So we waste little more of the night As my fingers find just the right spot, No action of mine has she spurned, I can tell by the curl of her toes Then down again, just for a while, Once again I express my devotion She sighs at last, seeming replete, On the hayride, Pam Kelly, my date, Nelly, a buxom young lass, My attention was all on Miss Kelly We started with nary a clue The hayride soon came to an end, Now a thing that we couldn't condone She answered, of course, "Would you please?"
And still have a yen for the sexual.
It can be quite revealing
To discuss things with feeling...
An approach often proving effectual.
--- Grand Prix Lim 293
Turned his charm on his lady, bewitchener;
Though indifferent to much
Of black magic and such,
He was really intent on the nitchener.
--- Keith MacMillan 66a
Is woven by yarns that, perchance,
Unravelled one night,
When so full of shite,
A lad talked a lass from her pants.
--- Travis Brasell
Of pert little short-skirted "birds"
Who'd whip off their pants
For a spot of romance,
If one knew how to boogie with words.
--- Anon
Got fed up with door-to-door fakers.
"Each one, I find,
Has one thing on his mind!"
Such was her lament to her makers.
--- G0169
Who said to his girl, "Let us calm us.
When the times comes, we'll marry."
But she was not wary;
All she got was a lick and a promise.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0887
And from what I can see, it is looking
As if - with an "X" -
You have marked days with sex,
So I'd say you have something a-cooking.
--- Carl Ludvig Kjelsen P0410
In hopes that the message comes through.
I love you forever;
I won't fail you ever;
Now can I please have a first screw.
--- Anon
His way with a maiden is slick. He
Will ply her with candy
And booze and his hand. He
Most often gets more than a hickey.
--- Anon
But next week, after I'm paid,
I'll get an advance from the boss
So I can pay off Ross,
And learn how to make chicks my slave.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
My parents and I never had frictions
Over books that I read
And the girls that I head,
As long as there were no complictions.
--- Nikita
She said, as he plunged in his putz,
"Do you love me dear Greeley?"
He answered "Not really,
I just want to blow off my nuts."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2144
You risk losing out on romance;
It takes planning and guile
And patience and wile,
To get a gal out of her pants.
--- Norm Storer P0012
How he tended the corn to grow feed.
He said, "Lay on the ground
Where I've plowed it around,
And I'll show how I planted seed."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0365
And sniff at the poor lady's cork.
Praise her sensuous lips
And her smooth slender hips,
If her next, you'll be wanting to pork.
--- Anon
I prefer they be shy or else bolder.
I'll take short or tall.
In fact, I'll take them all,
Though I much prefer warmer to colder.
--- MrMalo
Met a slick city waiter one May.
He asked, "In the mood
For some good Chinese Food?"
So they had a spring roll -- in the hay.
--- S M Polonsky
Who decided to screw the au pair.
With a knock on the door,
They dropped to the floor,
Instead of their favorite chair.
--- Arden
Who never let men have their way.
But one brawny young spark
One night in the park...
Now she goes to the park every day.
--- Linda Marsh Coll
And agreed to a date with delight.
And after much coaxing,
Pretending and hoaxing,
Agreed to be sub-dude that night.
--- Jane D Hughes P9107 a
Down on the floor he did pin her.
She cried out for more,
Until he was sore,
And cared not if he made her a sinner.
--- Jayne
With tresses of lovely dark hair,
Which I'd love to be feeling,
And sweet kisses stealing,
And that little bit more -- sure I'd dare!
--- Linda Marsh Coll
A dropout from Harvard and Baylor.
When he spied a cute lass,
He would turn on the class,
And more often than not he would nail her.
--- Bill Edwards P9103
But I do find myself in a pickle.
How will you respond
To this gay vagabond?
Perhaps we should try a test tickle?
--- Albin Chaplin P8603
Who swore that she wasn't afraid,
But a farmer from Derry
Came after her cherry --
'Twasn't just an advance -- 'twas a raid!
--- Linda Marsh Coll
With no help from Viagra I suspect.
Getting ready to lunge,
Joining me in the plunge,
Do I understand that as correct?
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Had a nail needed driving real bad.
I hadn't a hammer,
But no need to stammer;
I just used the tool that I had.
--- Anon
She said, "My virtue was perforce
Stripped away by the lad
Who added a tad
Of sweet nothings to rhymes never coarse."
--- J'Carlin
Is convinced that the secret is wires,
And will try to seduce
Them with low-voltage juice,
As they placidly play with his pliers.
--- Keith MacMillan A034B
Whose girl was a frigid old meany,
One night stormed the fort,
And was heard to report:
"As the Latins would say, 'Vici vini!'"
--- Don Boen P8112
How he got his petoot into Flo.
Though she looks and acts hot,
Free twat she gives not--
Was it Joey's sweet talk, or his dough?
--- G1816
Till a lecher took her for a whirl.
He teased and beguiled her
And finally defiled her;
All of this just to watch her toes curl.
--- John Miller
I asked her all day and all night.
I nagged and I pleaded;
Her patience exceeded.
At last she conceded. All right!
--- Rory Ewins Q
This is file zql
When he tried to seduce a young heiress,
She protested, "Not here!"
"Very well then, my dear,"
He replied, "just step out on the terrace."
--- High Seriousness P8402
Was E, who held Peter in thrall.
This elegant pair
Who's mighty affair
Caused greed, which led Arch to his fall.
--- Archie
Young Pete had to work like a slave;
A small stipend ekes
While working for weeks.
Away he trusts E to behave.
--- Archie
And quickly gave E a lewd squeeze.
He looked in her eyes.
He told her sweet lies
And finally even said "please".
--- Archie
Morality soon becomes twistable;
E's thoughts of her Pete
Succumbed to new meat.
This tale then became inevistable!
--- Archie
Oh E, please, we should not just lurk.
I'll be very blunt,
I lust for your cunt
And the chance of a very quick ferk!
--- Archie
You're lacking a good hardened knob.
Let us spend some time,
At your place or mine.
I'll cause all your body to throb.
--- Archie
You body should not be untoyed.
By letting me seize
Those 38c's,
You'll find that you're soon overjoyed!
--- Archie
Let's have tea in a local cafe.
'Bout etchings I'll talk
(With hardening stalk)--
I will ask you up for a lay.
--- Archie
And recognized Archie's crude style.
Will I make his pants dance?
I declare, "Not a chance!
But thanks for the offer", I smile.
--- Archie
(You know P & I made it six times
the day that he left!)
I feel so bereft!
That Sweet P can sure ring my chimes!
--- Archie
I've body parts on a slow burn.
With quivering quim,
I scan Archie's lim(b),
Oh throbbing; stalk; knobbing; I yearn!
--- Archie
When it comes to sexual stunts.
You say that your dick'll
Know just where to tickle?
Well...um... okay, maybe just once!
--- Archie
Dining in candle lit rooms.
A long stem rose
Our passion, it grows.
A more fragrant pink flower blooms.
--- Anon
To surrender, my charms all bode her
Culture, you see
Is why she let me
Break her down like a shotgun and load her.
--- Anon
Did your get for your hundreds of bucks?
All that perfume divine,
And that dinner and wine;
Seen your credit card statement? It sucks!
--- Anon
These oozing sores began to hatch.
Oh, the yearning
To end the burning.
My poor penis I'd love to detach.
--- Anon
Regretfully after that ho.
And his advice,
"Put your dick on ice."
Now it rises ever so slow.
--- Anon
Some chatter and even some jokes.
But her need is so strong
That we know before long,
Just the action this teasing provokes.
--- Anon
And, vowing to do it just right,
My highly skilled hands
Work to meet her demands,
And her laugh turns to moans of delight.
--- Anon
There's an intake of breath -- this girl's hot!
As I gently explore
Every cranny and pore,
Using motions I never forgot.
--- Anon
Nor denied me the joy that I've earned.
Her motions compete
With a vixen in heat,
As her heated response is returned.
--- Anon
And the arch of her back, how she grows
Almost ready to pop,
As we climb to the top,
And her skin becomes suffused with rose.
--- Anon
But I know very well from her smile
That she knows I'm no slob,
Who won't finish the job.
She expects me to go the whole mile.
--- Anon
In an act that transcends mere emotion,
In a frenzy that feeds
On our mutual needs,
In one final frenzy of motion.
--- Anon
But whispers, "Gee, that sure was neat.
You're really some man!
But next time if you can,
Will you do a bit more than my feet?"
--- Anon
Arrived just a little bit late,
But soon snuggled down
With nary a frown
To starboard, as usually her fate.
--- John Miller
Arrived and it soon came to pass
She got wedged in tight
On my left for the night.
We were a bit crowded, alas!
--- John Miller
But left arm went lightly 'round Nellie.
My fingers kept roaming
And seemed to be homing
Down somewhere quite low on her belly.
--- John Miller
As to what she or I meant to do.
When her legs came apart,
I could hear my own heart
And hoped that no others would, too.
--- John Miller
As I helped both the girls to descend.
And we quietly talked.
Nellie mentioned she'd walked
From her house down the road at the bend.
--- John Miller
Was to have a girl walk home alone.
The polite thing to do
(Well gee, wouldn't you?)
Was to offer to see Nellie home.
--- John Miller
So we walked down the path through the trees.
The shadows were dense
And she made no defense
As I slipped her jeans down past her knees.
--- John Miller
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