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Thereafter not one word was spoken, No time then to stop and repent; Then up on our feet with a lurch, And seeing was all that we did; I treasure that night to this day I don't know where Nellie is now; And Pam? Had I treated her right? Did she know what we'd done? Did she guess? Though late, and we'd started to yawn, Enough! Now my saga is done. Oh where is that beautiful blonde Your beautiful blonde is still here, She's here at my ranch to relax, I wish I could sit and relax, Though you are my lover divine, I'll give you a wink and a nod By caressing and licking your toes; With your nipples and beautiful thighs... I poured her a small glass of wine, It's an inexact science, I guess, Who says that they need be alert? He came in, wearing only a hat; In the morning, when he awoke, The knight in his shiny armor Her upbringing advantageous. By light of a single candle On a pigeon's a dung-spattered cote, The whole Duchy laughed very hard A sweet Scottish lassie named Bude, There was a young soldier named Hilary, There was a young fellow, McNair, I think that it needs to be stated There once was a seductress named Sonja, A strange man once offered me candy, There once was a man they called Skinner, On his date with a charming young bird, A noble old duchess named Foster A dusky young damsel of Djerber, There was a young man named O'Quinn My arms had advanced as desired. A pedlar of junk food named May, There's a nip in the air, love, tonight, Just what was he trying to prove? He How about a nice three course meal? "Do you believe in the hereafter?" asked John, There was a young fellow from Eno, "What's the difference," I riddled Miss Punch, There was a young lady of Dee, (Published 1870)
A dirty old reprobate, Walker, There was a gay dog from Ontario, Once a sexy conundrum composer A randy young Scot named McTound The question was at the fore; Returning home late, old Miss Knight, Please tell me that I'm not responsible Said a much-seduced Lucy of Wooster There was an old spinster named Frances, I had me a wench in East Broint There once was a young man named Buck, With whispers, folks say Cyberwizard, That rumor is downright obscene! It's not only after the young, It, however, acts a bit mean, Or one ate a little bit older. There once was an Irish young lass. Now here is a real hard brain teaser: A young lady sat on a cay,
No kisses or other love token.
But there in the night,
Our moves were just right;
In moments her cherry was broken.
--- John Miller
Our passion was driven and lent
An urging so strong,
It couldn't last long.
Then we lay there a while, fully spent.
--- John Miller
To her house where it nestled in birch.
No hint of our bliss,
Just a hug and light kiss,
And "Good night, guess I'll see you in church!"
--- John Miller
Any feelings we carefully hid.
In the dim house of God
There was only a nod
And some prayers that there'd not be a kid.
--- John Miller
And hope that she too feels that way.
Yet I cannot ignore,
Could there have been more?
If so, though, she never did say.
--- John Miller
I hope she is happy somehow;
With comfort and joy
And cash to deploy,
Well off as the law will allow.
--- John Miller
I returned to the group on that night.
Though gone quite a while,
She gave me a smile
And grabbed me and held on real tight.
--- John Miller
Did it just turn her on? I digress,
Because you can trust
It was never discussed
And the synergy's hard to assess.
--- John Miller
We kissed and made out until dawn.
Her virginity soon
With the pale Hunters Moon,
And the night, and my strength, were all gone.
--- John Miller
For years Pam and I had some fun.
Now she too, is gone.
I just mow the lawn
And putter about in the sun.
--- John Miller
Of whom I am utterely fond.
I've felt my love grow
Each day 'til the flow
In my pants could now form a large pond.
--- Jon Gearhart
But just for a moment, I fear.
So pull out your dickie,
I've time for a quickie,
But clean up your pants first, my dear.
--- Carol
Sans bra, panties, blouse, shoes and slacks.
Don't worry your soul,
I'll send her home whole,
Right after I plug up her cracks.
--- Travis Brasell
On a farm or a ranch eating snacks,
And drinking vermouth,
But the pitful truth:
I'm working or I'll get the ax!
--- Carol
I'm afraid I will have to decline
Your kind offer of bread
Till you get into bed,
And manhandle this metal of mine.
--- H Welchel
When it's getting too much for my rod.
Then I'll rip off your scanties
And stockings and panties
And take you to heaven, by God...
--- H Welchel
Working up to your petals of rose.
Then I'll tease you, my pet,
Till you're thoroughly wet
And exposed in lascivious pose.
--- H Welchel
(At this juncture I think it is wise
That I lock the front door
For I thought that I saw
Someone prowling around in disguise.)
--- H Welchel
And she giggled and looked quite divine;
So I poured her some more
But she fell to the floor...
Wasn't quite what I had in my mind.
--- Peter Wilkins
Trying to get a girl out of her dress,
You must give enough booze,
To cause her to lose
Inhibitions, but not consciousness.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Myself, I feel good when inert.
And she does the bouncing,
The sucking, and jouncing.
It's best when I dream that I squirt.
--- Anon
A woman in tow, despite that.
They went to his room;
We heard noises like zoom,
Crash, bang, wallop, and purrs from a cat?!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
He realized he was a joke.
He was very shaken;
He found he'd been taken
For his money; it left him quite broke.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
And smile. He was quite a charmer.
His thirst he did sluice
With women. Seduce
Daughters of noble or farmer.
--- Anon
His antics were most outrageous.
She, he did excite
'Til bright morning light.
Her Daddy went most rampageous.
--- Anon
She slipped off her strappy sandal.
A goddess in sheer
Panties and brassiere;
The sight of her caused a scandal.
--- Anon
I'll skip a word-for-word quote;
Sir Pudluster's gotten,
In a fix, methinks rotten;
His lance just trapped the old goat!
--- Anon
At the fate of this wenching bas-tard;
No bragging! No bluster!
No more for Pudluster!
He's been hoisted by his own petard!
--- Anon
Was debauched on a hilltop quite nude.
In some curde hanky-panky
Above Killiecrankie,
She was buggered, stewed, screwed and tattooed.
--- G1532
Who spent several days in the pillory.
Reconnoitering a lass,
He had reached an impasse,
And he brought up his heavy artillery.
--- Anon
Took a girl on a date on a dare.
When he showed his virility,
She displayed her agility--
The result was a bang-up affair.
--- GO123
That reality is overrated.
I want nookie, I think,
So he gave her a wink,
And got right on with it, unabated
--- Jim Weaver Collection
And he said, "I would like to clone ya!"
Our lass did resist
But gave in with a kiss,
When she was asked "Can I bone ya?"
--- Scarlet Pimpernel T9712
This is file zpl
And I said, "Oh sure, that'd be dandy!"
I knew that his goal,
Was really my hole,
But that was OK, I was randy!
--- Claureen Blytche
Who brought his date home to eat dinner.
And though it's not proper,
He climbed up on top her,
And put a hard dinner roll in her.
--- Bob Birch
His erotical feelings were stirred.
So with bold virile pluck,
He inquired, "Do you fuck?"
She said, "Yes, but don't use that word."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 G0016A
Had barons and dukes on her roster.
But her best fuck, we're told,
Was the time she was rolled
In a ditch, when a drunk did accost her.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0152
So torrid that nothing could curb her,
Lay down on the beach
And said, "I beseech
The service of Arab or Berber.
--- Harold C Bibby
With an inordinate interest in skin.
His singular goal
When he found a hole,
Was to do what he could to get in.
--- Anon
Her resistance was visibly tired;
I conquered her senses,
Destroyed her defenses,
Then brought up my cannon and fired.
--- Laurence Perrine P8406
Whose morals were weak as wet clay,
Began to seduce
Some silly young goose,
And gave her a real Frito-Lay.
--- Armand Singer
And that bulge in my crotch feels just right.
You won't feel the cold
If you grab a good hold,
And we'll fuck till the dawn's early light.
--- Prince Eaglehead T9712
Refused to hold hands in the movie,
But out in the lobby,
As he whipped out his knob, he
Announced, "Babe, some snatch would be groovy!"
--- Robin K Willoughby P8405
The appetizer--a three-finger feel!
Then I'll marinate meat
In pussy so sweet,
And hair-pie for dessert, what a deal!
--- Limberick
On Lovers Lane parked with Sue Vaughn.
"If you are not here after
What I am here after,
You'll be here after I've gone."
--- Clarence E Boyle P8807
Who said to his girl, "Now, old Beano,
Lift you skirt up in front,
And enlarge your cunt,
For the size of this organ is keen-o!"
--- L1605
"Twixt sex, and a sandwich to munch?"
When she said, "I've no notion,"
I replied with emotion,
"And what are you doing for lunch?"
--- Ed Potts P8508a
Who went down to the river to pee.
A man in a punt,
Put his hand on her cunt,
And God! How I wish it was me.
--- L0023
A lecherous, horny girl-stalker,
Said, "Mable, let's fuck."
She replied, "You're in luck,
I swoon when I hear a smooth talker."
--- Ed Potts P8606
Who fancied himself a Lothario.
At a wench's glance,
He'd snatch off his pants,
And make for her Mons Venerio.
--- LOO75
Asked a Sunday school teacher a poser:
"Did Nero or Pharaoh
Have a narrow bone-arrow?"
After class she allowed him to hose her.
--- G2300
Said he'd shag anything for a pound.
But a buxom young wench,
Gave his dick such a wrench,
A new outlook on life he has found.
--- Shorty
She said: "The bedroom has no door?"
"If someone is here
When bedtime is near,
They'd better be staying for more."
--- Mollyanna P0010
Would shiver and shake with great fright.
Not from fear that some man
Would attack as she ran,
But from fear that perhaps no man might.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1357
For perving this girl, sweet and schvantzable.
Her lips on my glans,
I farted her hands.
Now used to it, she's nonchalanceable.
--- Anon
To the badly stewed dude who'd seduced her,
"Though sex is delightful,
Your technique is frightful;
Guys just don't seduce like they uster!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 058
Who hoped for improper advances.
So she went to the pier
Without pants or brassiere --
There was no need to take any chances.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1342
Who bade me her skin to annoint.
The girl had arthritis
And so I decided
She wouldn't mind one more stiff joint.
--- Scott Hendricks
Whose luck with the women did suck.
He brought out the SPAM
And then opened a can;
Now all the young stud does is fuck.
--- Chris Kubitz
Is out running full-nude in a blizzard!
With his dong painted green;
He is chasing some teen,
Yelling, "Fear not, it is only a lizard!"
--- Cyber Wizard
I don't have to paint the thing green.
With its lizardly slither,
It whispers, "Come hither."
Chicks do it. It needn't be seen.
--- Cyber Wizard
And never will enter a bung.
It'll only, by God,
Enter into a bod
Washed out by my wizardly tongue.
--- Cyber Wizard
'Cause it's always the last on the scene.
It never comes out
'Til it hears the shout
And moans and groans of an ate teen.
--- Cyber Wizard
But sometimes the Wizard must hold her.
It's rather unseemly
But some gals get screamly
When they see its eyes, how they smolder.
--- Cyber Wizard
Drank alone in a pub, alas!
But enter young Finnigan,
Swore he'd make her grin again,
And they left with a pat on her ass.
--- Lady Pooka T9710
A guy meets a girl - wants to please her.
Should he take her to dinner
In order to win her,
Or pounce, like a randy old geezer?
--- ROE
Just as proper as proper could be.
A young fellow goosed her,
And roughly seduced her,
So she thanked him, and went home to tea.
--- L0085
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