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No need for liguisticky chores My boyfriend seduced me one night, Perhaps I can make that girl trill, The teller said she was invincible, I think it is heavenly bliss You're joint's in a lady like this -- Though I am quite sure that your D's Yes, squeezes can come in all types, A couple of fittings I've here; There once was a heavy-hung Hindu I will sing you a love seranade, Your hand gently rubbing my thighs, I think of you daily for hours, "Watch out!" warned a damsel in France; Merely sighting the tits on Miss Slattery Seducing shy virgins to sin She was pretty and young and alive; To a gentleman friend she said, "Honey, My lover is fond of massage, The newlywed wife of young Fred A Nez Perce squaw from the prairie, A woman shared with me her plight; To a lady he found rather fetching, A sailor who sailed on the sea, So put out the ice and champagne OH SHIT! I forgot the champagne! There was a young man of Belgrade, A statuesque woman from Gorham Determined, a fucker named Breen Recreation is sometimes a lark There's a nip in the air, love, tonight. An amateur satyr named Stew I watched her sit still as the sphinx But surprise! I had missed all her winks; Touching all chords of her woman's heart, A young lion tamer named Pete There once was a smooth-talking Druid, Whether it's large or pip-squeak, A dirty old pilot, while flying, I found as a lad in my teens, A loquacious, though salty, old sailor, The chef was an avid young learner; A brazen hi-fi fan named Walter A natural normal affliction It seems a young damsel named Spenser, Now you might kiss my...Oh no, I can't! ...That I can still master my mind. My love, you've the brightest of eyes, It's my heart - it is pounding like hell; We rob death of its victory, yes So mount, and with passion, let's fly I have missed you all week. A moonlight night -- in a boat; We must be fifty yards off shore. We'll watch the full moon up thar I'll quote some Omar Khayyam My moving fingers write not, they And play and then tease and arouse; And the rhythmical motion, And yes, it did! But so slow The big moon will soon be downsetting; Feeling weary, I've just reread this. Psychology used on a child, And, honey, you don't have to wait; I know that seducing in parks Ma Cherie, come with me now to France. Now I ain't quite sure how you'd romance
Or lessons from spectacled bores,
Just whisper, "Prosciutto
Con funghi e tutto..."
You'll soon be inside her moist drawers.
--- Anon
And oh, what a gorgeous delight.
With tickles of passion,
We made a new fashion
Of sex in the fairest moonlight.
--- Roy Herselman
Not by causing a womberful spill,
But by tickling her fancy,
Then making her antsy,
And presenting my inflated bill!
--- Lo and Behold T9707
But the banker thought she was convincible.
So he set down her figure
And he proved with some rigor,
That the interest negated the principle.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0214
When seduction's moved on from a kiss
And I use the line,
"Why's a joint, Dear, like mine
Inside of a lady like this?"
--- John Miller
'Cause you're lucky! Gimme a kiss
And I'll show you mine.
Trust me, that's no line.
My 34D's induce bliss.
--- Bonnie
Are a pair that is certain to please,
My wife read your post
And says that the most
I'm allowed is a nice friendly squeeze.
--- Archie
But let's just avoid spousal gripes.
Yes, we'll just shake hands
And control our glands,
We'll just have to talk about...pipes?
--- Bonnie
All female, so let's check your gear.
If I give a lift,
Perhaps you can shift
Your joint into place, near the rear?
--- Bonnie
Who coaxed every maid, "Let me in-do!"
His drooping moustache
Would tickle her gash,
And the hair on his balls made her grin, too!
--- G2700
Or buy you a jewel made of jade.
Or give you my money,
But I know you, Honey,
I'm sure you would rather get laid.
--- Carol
That sexy look from your brown eyes.
Lights up the fire,
Of love and desire,
And of course those little white lies.
--- Anon
Comparing your limbs to the flowers,
But I battle my lust
For your lips and your bust
By taking a lot of cold showers.
--- Larry Davis P8601
"Let his hand reach the fuzz in your pants,
While his other hot mitt
Clamps onto a tit,
And your maidenhead don't stand a chance!"
--- G1553
Will recharge tired satyr's old battery.
Those who've made her have said
That to get her in bed
Requires muscle, martinis, and flattery.
--- Grand Prix Lim 160 A
Takes more that sweet talking and gin:
An all-out seduction
Is a major production,
And it may take you hours to get in.
--- Grand Prix Lim 809 G1609A
She came by on a membership drive.
I invited her in
And led her to sin --
I had my own member to drive!
--- John Miller 0164
Of course I'm not after your money."
Though she was a dear,
Her meaning was clear:
"Me not care for money? That's funny!"
--- Norm Storer P9505
So I rub her with creamy fromage,
And a soft tickle give her,
Till her quim starts to quiver,
Then go in with my steaming sau-sage.
--- Wandering Loon
Called up at the office and said,
"I have carpets on stairs
And remodeled the chairs,
And I have a new spread on the bed."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2579
Of sex and such nonsense was wary,
Till a well-hung Apache
Got her down in Wenatchee--
Now he milks her along with the dairy.
--- G0800
Could find no man to do the deed right.
I offered to boff her;
She honored my offer;
It was 'offer' and 'honor' all night!
--- Trainman
He said, "Let me show you my etching."
But he was a Gent,
The guy really meant:
"Hey baby, I'm hot for some leching!"
--- Norm Storer P9505
Was clever as clever could be.
He would tell every girl,
"There is only one pearl!"
And every girl thought it was she!
--- John Miller 0068
And the oysters; they're good for my brain.
And they'll raise my libido
To equal your greed. Oh
My Petal, you drive me insane.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
There's a liquor store, corner of Main.
I'll be back with a stiffy ...
... I mean, in a jiffy ...
You've got me all flustered again.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who planned to seduce a fair maid.
And as it befell
He succeeded quite well,
And the maid, like the plan, was well laid.
--- Isaac Asimov A
Was a model of poise and decorum.
But that was before
She went to the shore
And stayed overnight at the Shoreham.
--- Lims Unlimited
Was lustfully idling yestreen; (last eve)
His target some wench,
Most probably French,
Whose morals were simply obscene.
--- Armand Singer
In an automobile in the dark.
If the fellow is brash,
It doesn't take cash,
But only a quiet place to park.
--- A N Wilkins P8610
The moon is above to the right.
The trees are a-swaying,
A love song I'm playing...
Please don't say you won't, say you might!
--- Vinny the Face T9710
Has found work as a waiter in Kew.
But his purpose, it's clear,
Is to locate a dear
Who, if he can date her, will screw.
--- Norm Storer
Devoid of expression or blinks
Like my sandwich, plain boring
As if she's ignoring
All the male species, methinks.
--- Doug Harris P0504
This is file zll
She turned out to be number 1 minx.
We're both now on flexi
With time to get sexy,
And explore every one of her kinks.
--- Doug Harris P0504
He plead his suit with highest art.
Perplexed, confused,
With love suffused,
She slowly sighed her legs apart.
--- W L McAtee G0090
Plays a game all the girls think is neat.
They stretch out and purr
When he strokes on their fur,
Then roar when he slips them the meat.
--- Bob Giandomenico P8712
Whose manner of living was lewd.
He'd engage Druid lasses,
In small talk--no passes,
But the first thing they knew, they'd been screwed.
--- John Ciardi
I offer you all this technique:
Rub square on her G
With a finger or three,
While lickin' her love-nub oblique.
--- H Welchel
Has all of the pretty girls sighing,
By praising their twats in
Both Greek and Latin,
Then fucking them till they were dying.
--- Anon
Of all my hormonal routines,
The Lord's Prayer in French
Lit fires I would quench,
As my date wriggled out of her jeans.
--- Anon
On meeting a lass would impale her.
"For," one said, "what it's worth,
Though your harpoon lacked girth,
I sure fancy the tales of a whaler."
--- Dr Limerick modifiedP9410
The maid said his acts did concern her.
She perceived he had class
And was cooking with gas,
But she asked him to try the front burner.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0933
Lured a girl to his audio altar.
As she studied his tweeter
He plugged in his peter:
'Twas coaxial bliss to assault her.
--- G0750a
This limerick fuction addiction;
The rhythm and beat
Of the meter is sweet,
For seduction and suction and friction.
--- Anon
Than whom few young damsels are denser,
Was beguiled by the flattery
Of a satyr named Slattery...
What later occurred we must censor!
--- G0188
But I'd love you to...Nah, well I shan't!
Could we lay down a bit --
Or at least...may I sit?
As my knees get weak I cannot grant...
--- Anon
I'm afraid that too soon I may find
I could no longer hide
This feeling inside,
At which sight I try hard to be blind.
--- Anon
And the loveliest hair, as it lies
There framing your face --
Oh, your lips I must taste,
For their beauty description defies.
--- Anon
When you're holding me, it feels so well.
To my mind comes a word
Which I somewhere have heard
(And I wonder if it rings a bell?)
--- Anon
And the grave of its stinging caress;
For to die, having found
Such a pleasure profound,
Means life was a flawless success.
--- Anon
To the peak of Olympus on high,
And together we'll reach
A zenith for each:
I ache for the sound of your sigh.
--- Anon
I've read all your writings (I peek).
Down here it is spring;
Libidos take wing;
Your autumn is being quite meek.
--- Archie
Let's have all our fun while afloat.
No, it has no screw;
I'll have to row you.
(You know, down here, we've got to vote!)
--- Archie
I don't think I can row any more.
(In a car, I'd talk
Of petrol, a walk)
I doubt that this quietness will bore.
--- Archie
Out over the Isle of Arra.
Hands are for holding,
Not just for folding,
While you show to me the Pole Star.
--- Archie
(I'm just a trite horny old ham)
Time slips 'neath our feet;
But today is sweet --
My love for this verse is no sham.
--- Archie
Unbutton and unclothe and may
Even tickle your bum,
While questing for some
Secret places where they may stay.
--- Archie
You know this could go on for hours.
While I'm kissing your lips,
You're moving your hips --
No longer a shy little mouse.
--- Archie
Is just the result of emotion --
I've brought a good red,
Careful, it'll go to your head.
(Though that could lead to coition)
--- Archie
We just keep moving with the flow.
The small waves make
Our little boat shake --
I use much the same motion to row.
--- Archie
On shore our dogs are a-fretting.
Soon back to the shore,
Face real life once more.
I'll remember all of our petting.
--- Archie
Now you'd better not go take a piss.
I'm reaching the pits --
There's no mention of tits,
Or other rude places I've missed.
--- Archie
Will drive a young college girl wild;
Since she is so curious,
She's gonna be furious;
That sweet thing will feel so beguiled.
--- Anon
Come 'round to your private back gate;
My door's always open
For you, and I'm hopin'
To get something between us real straight!
--- Anon
Is crass - it should be at Jacques,
A small French Hotel,
One I know very well;
My exploits are noted on plaques!
--- Anon
Tonight, together we'll dance.
Aaah, the wine and the food
With all of it's good,
And then I'll get into your pants!
--- Anon
A beautiful woman in France;
But it sure sounds to me
Like it surely must be
Pretty hard to look cool in her pants.
--- Anon
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