MORE
Lord Frederick Foxe Featherfair They called it "The Land Time Forgot," Lord Phillip Fitzfollian French Lord Algernon Ambruster Ames Lord Titus Trevelyen Terhune The late Lord Louis Mountbatten His Honour Lord Richard of Bast Lord Frederick was high upper class, In England they think it untoward Lord Amberly Applethorpe-Ames Lord Waverly Wilberforce White Lord Butler was eating the cheese So Butler spent hundreds of days Lord Bangham-Together de Vere, Screamed the valet of lecherous Lord Purce, The royal facade further buckled There was a young Prince of Bombay, There was a Prince Charming in Prague Her Highness Theresa-Octavia, At banquets honoring the Great, Oh Charlie and Fergie and Di, I once said to the Crown Prince of Spain, "Dearest nephew, my words I won't mince," "Oh please", said the Duchess of York "I'm scared of what Mummy might say "'Twould cause the most terrible scandal; Mr Morris, worn out, I suppose, (this could be Fergie's foot friend)
There was a young man very neat, They say Fergie's bought her a palace Randy royals can't help breeding malice Said a ball to the Prince Baudelaire, The maiden was considered quite chaste, The hot-blooded princess of Ophir Beauty dreamed dreams - dark and erotic Since the crowned heads of Europe are few, (Koo - Koo Stark, porn queen date of Prince Andrew)
When they asked a pert baggage named Alice, While in France, England's King, hunting males, Prince Philip, a knave of high station, Said a Brit who'd paid taxes and all, Nazi emblems can truly offend (Prince Willy for party dress as Nazi - 2005)
Britain's horse-racing expert, Lord Frupp, Now Wessex's Earl, young Prince Ed, In this coach are William and Harry, It seems they've arrived at the church; There once was a princess named Rose, The Princess, on losing her crown, 'Tis true. Margaret's gone to her rest, Had she married her Group Captain Peter, She had Tony and Roddy, it's true, Our Margaret's being cremated; In the past, hags were sent on fire, A hopeful princess kissed a frog From the bed all the blankets were flung, Reginald says to old Smedley, "I say, "Seems that dung on the main trotting course Now, why, Princess Anne, are you chiding And here's Princess Anne at the trot; But your honor, complained Princess Anne, Rasputin, the maddest of monks, Forget it, that's way too bizarre! Some say Catherine the Great was a rip, Catherine the Great got her due All the guardsmen called Catherine "The Great", Catherine the Great's trusty steed It is rumored that Catherine the Great Said Catherine the Great to her pet, Those tales about her and a pony,
Was never seen here nor seen there.
If he seemed to draw near,
He would soon disappear,
So of Frederick the question was "where?"
--- Warrick Elrod
Where lords struck perversional plot;
The male subjects hated,
Though women elated,
When lords called for evenings of twat.
--- Anon
Is a man for the tankard and wench.
At the law he's a fluke,
But he hunts with a duke,
So he sits on the Queen's highest bench.
--- Warrick Elrod
Had a plan to be sly with the dames.
He would ply them with gin
And hope they'd give in,
But his wife made him forfeit his games.
--- Warrick Elrod
Had a tongue like a viper's harpoon.
He insulted all men,
But stopped doing it when
He insulted a seven foot goon.
--- Warrick Elrod
Spoke no languages, not even Latin.
Just a few words of French,
At which people would blench,
When they heard him say, "Bring notre cat in."
--- Spike Mulligan
On a holiday cruise, breathed his last.
He succumbed to the creeps
When out of the deeps
Rose the daughters he drowned in years past.
--- Beelzebub
But fancied a low country lass.
When he said he would wed,
His Dame mother dropped dead,
And his Sire threw him out on his ass.
--- Warrick Elrod
For a person to garner a hoard
Of money from trade,
And their scorn is displayed
By making the fellow a lord.
--- A N Wilkins P8605
Looked askance at nude sexual games.
So, with girls in his bed,
He wore night-shirts instead,
Which diminished the fun for the dames.
--- Warrick Elrod
Was a man who was far to the right.
Steal a half ounce of bread
And he'd axe off your head,
Then declare you were now the right height.
--- Warrick Elrod
And drinking the Port, if you please,
But kept hearing moans
From mouthy young Tones,
Who wished bad Iraq news would cease.
--- Archie
To find out the truth and its ways.
When he found out the score,
He said, "It is poor.
I'll damn him with my faintest praise."
--- Archie
Is Her Majesty's favorite peer.
He amuses the queen
With his antics obscene,
And her corgis are living in fear.
--- Anon
As he saw him attack his own nurse,
"The squire is on fire
With suppressed desire;
We will just have to shoot him -- or worse!"
--- Armand E Singer 173
With Fergie's big toe getting suckled.
Her topless parading
Meant Andy was trading
His crown for the horns of a cuckold.
--- Rowdy Jack
Who always would have his own way;
He pampered his horses
On five or six courses;
Himself eating nothing but hay.
--- Walter Parke
Who slept for three weeks like a log.
And when he awoke,
He let out a croak,
Which sounded a lot like a frog.
--- Alsops Foibles
Princess of the Kingdom Moldavia,
Fifteen and precocious,
Indulged in atrocious
Unladylike royal behavia.
--- Peter Wilkins
She would toy with the food on her plate;
But would soon get to grips
By unzipping their zips,
While discussing Affairs of the State.
--- Peter Wilkins
Can anyone tell us just why
You behave as you do,
When you know when you're through,
Royalty gets another black eye.
--- Warrick Elrod
"I find that your conduct's germane.
After checking the crotches
Of your Princess and Duchess,
It's no wonder you choose to abstain."
--- Arthur Deex P8308
Said Duke Wessex, "that scowl makes me wince.
So my digital ace
Has deleted your face,
And will paste in the smile of a prince!"
--- Prof M-G
To young Andrew; "Just give me a fork."
But young Andrew said, "Nay,
I have Charles here to stay,
And Camilla is popping his cork."
--- Anon
If she caught us all forking away;
And my Dad, Phil the Greek,
Might be tempted to peek,
And the Press would join in the affray."
--- Anon
I'm really not sure I could handle
It." "Oh, you're so limp",
Said the Duchess, "You wimp;
Guess I'll have to make do with a candle."
--- Anon
In a meeting, slipped into a doze.
So he got it confused
When Bill Clinton enthused:
"Lick the enemy; keep on your toes."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who liked to suck upon feet.
He'd like to do Fergie,
But her feet had the 'lergies,
Because she'd had the entire fleet.
--- Sausage Sid
In Italy somewhere, not Dallas.
In exchange for a home
A few hours from Rome,
I'd keep her amused with my phallus.
--- Anon
When the sceptre they wield is a phallus;
The sun never sets
On their conquests, so let's
Rechristen it "Fucking 'Em" Palace!
--- Rowdy Jack
"This game's fun, but a little unfair,
For whilst thou, Prince, alone,
Are just heir to the throne,
I am just thrown to the air!"
--- David A Brooks Q
Those who courted her, thought this a waste.
With her, they did reason;
She said 'twould be treason.
She was already the royal prince's taste.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
Wears see-clear-through gowns trimmed in faux fur;
Though she loves to disport
With young swains from the court,
The King caught her humping his chauffeur.
--- Armand E Singer P9901
This is file zfl
Of leather, of whips so exotic.
The Prince had no chance;
He was too entranced;
For him she became a narcotic.
--- Anon
It's not strange that they got in a stew
When their coup-conscious courts
Heard disturbing reports
That a prince might be mounting a Koo!
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner
Who'd been bedded and banged in the palace,
"Was he modest or vain?"
"Was he regal or plain?"
She replied, "He's a jolly good phallus!"
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner
Fucked a man in the ass in Marseilles.
When the man shit a turd
Said the King, " 'Pon my word,
I will christen this turd Prince of Wales."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0939
Never mastered mature 'jaculation.
His dysfunction, he'd boast,
Leapt from pre- to quite post-
In the course of one Christmas vacation.
--- Arthur Deex P8708
"Where's my invite to Prince William's Ball?
If I cannot gate-crash
At this birthday bash,
I'll simply climb over the wall."
--- Anon
For the message of hate that they send.
But the choice in your dress
Might express even less
Than the party you chose to attend.
--- Limerick Savant
Related to the German clan Krupp,
But the difference 'twixt him
And Prince Phillip is slim,
Because he's given the Royal Hunt Cup!
--- H Myers T9801
Has unwholesome thoughts in his head,
As his wife, Princess Sophie,
Manhandles his trophy,
And licks at the tip, shining red.
--- Tiddy Ogg
They both are as happy as Larry,
With Princess Eugenie
Fellating each weenie;
In this state they'd sure like to tarry.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Old Phillip dismounts with a lurch.
I think he's as drunk
As a monk in his bunk.
I hope he don't fall off his perch.
--- Tiddy Ogg
And where she is now, no one knows.
It is rumored she fled,
Or at least, so it's said,
From a prince with a very long nose.
--- Prinny Running
Proclaimed, "That's no reason to frown --
Or even to stare
At the loss of my hair --
I've a right royal frizz further down!"
--- John Miller Q
Without happiness, her lifelong quest.
She heeded her sister
And gave up her Mister,
Proving Queenies don't always know best.
--- Theater Gypsy
Perhaps Meg's life would've been sweeter.
Divorces weren't legal
For those who were regal.
I hope that in Heaven, he'll meet her.
--- Theater Gypsy
But neither of them seem to do.
So I'm lifting my glass
For that poor wretched lass,
Who could not, to her own self be true.
--- Theater Gypsy
That means she's burned and she's grated.
All that whiskey, Ma'am --
An eternal flame?
At least one that's highly inflated.
--- Tony Burrell
Because of the fear they'd inspire.
Margaret was a bitch;
No, I didn't say witch.
Too late, they have just lit the pyre.
--- Tony Burrell
Which was sunning itself on a log.
It croaked in surprise,
"I'm no prince in disguise!"
And quickly leapt back to its bog.
--- Mary Danby Armada 1
And a shriek tore the breath from her lung,
As the princess did flee,
But not from the pea,
'Twas the spring of each mattress which sprung.
--- Tin Lizzard
Did you see our equestrian today?
Princess Anne and her steed,
Looked so grand, yes indeed,
By bad luck were flunked 'long the way."
--- Allen Wolverton
Served to make the judge scream until hoarse."
Smedley says, "What a shame!"
(Lowers voice) Who's to blame?"
"No, No, No," Reggie groans, "'Twas the horse!"
--- Allen Wolverton
Your saddle," the judge asked, "while riding?"
"Because there's no horn,"
She exclaimed with scorn,
"To grip with my cunt -- thus I'm sliding!"
--- Travis Brasell
Her pommel just stroking that spot.
To give a reaction
Of full satisfaction,
Ensuring that she's getting hot.
--- Tiddy Ogg
"My dog, Dotty, would never harm man.
As bull terriers go,
She's the sweetest I know.
She just bites through her leash when she can."
--- Anon
Regarded a head that he'd shrunk.
Said he, "If my Pyotr
Were just a bit shyotr,
And I were a little more drunk..."
--- Anon
Necro-head from a dead commissar?
It's neater and cleaner
Inside the Tsarina,
And more fun than screwing the Tsar!
--- Anon
Who, with men or with horses would flip,
And writhe in the spasms
Of multi orgasms;
This monarch was Kate in the grip.
--- Bob Giandomenico P0306
Having sex with a horse, and that's true!
It's no fun, of course
Falling off of a horse,
But how 'bout when a horse falls off you?
--- Theo Heller P9112a
For she never made any man wait.
And the whole palace crew
Knew what they must do
When called out for their very first date.
--- John E Mayhood
Satisfied every physical need,
Save for one. For he said,
"Just give me my head,
But not vice verse...I'm off my feed."
--- Theo M Heller P9206
Had a strange personality trait,
Which left her imbued
With a need to get screwed
By groups of two, four, six or eight.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P9204
"There, there. Don't be jealous and fret.
Just jump in my lap
And we'll have a nice nap.
You're the handsomest donkey I've met."
--- Don Moore P9204
Catherine the Great tagged as phony.
Though she had no remorse
Making love to a horse,
It was really a lot of baloney.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9205
MORE