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Now the smell was remarkably rancid, So let this come as a warning: A no-nonsense cockster named Munn There's a poor teeny-bopper in Wichita, With ideas and words, a mind's swarming, Advice in those glossy girls mags This time of the year is depressing; Any further with no tail, you say? Now I'm in serious need My cock inflates like a balloona, Young Joan with a gleam in her eye, My arms may submit to abrasion A girl of some fashion, kept I told you before, man, Goddamn! There was a young man named McGruder, A hermit once thought his oasis A sailor at Sidi ben Sayid, It's back, that's my huge raging rod, Too bad that your cock is so limp, A ruthless old lecher named Gorham, To constantly bury your root, To her father cried hot Miss McCutcheon, From the book a young lady named Brook Said a dumb electrician of Texas, My girl friend gives me a lay A house dick there once was called Doroughty, Said a steaming young lady named Russell, To her boyfriend said pretty Jeanette, Said a cunt-loving swinger named Scott, Sometimes I'm in over my head; I know that the rules are quite strict, "I do love a lay every day, A linen-maid working at Eton "Can it be", cried a thrice-diddled Gertie, There was a young lady named Lynne, When I see a really hot chick, There was a young lady named Willme, Now hear this fair lass from Rhode Isle, A hot-to-trot female Caucasian Now that I'm out, [Thank you, Lord], A lassie from wee Ballachulish, For Daphne (who thinks I'm a duffer) Thank God, I've a good reputation; There was a young lady so forward, Women aren't that fickle at all; An old couple sat naked at a meal; With a French-lass, it's unwise to trifle. (Eiffel Tower - get it? - McW)
According to Henry Q. Ewing, Slim, the wrangler, went into cahoots, Turning down the desires of Marie, There she lay on the bed, The prettiest maiden in Tuttle There's a certain young woman named Fran, A sex revolution comprising A very smart lady name Cookie, His eyes lock on her's 'cross the room, And she too, in spite of the smell, Towards her, he ran in slow motion, Together at last in that room, She ripped off his lumberjack shirt And yes, they tried each position At last with a scream and a groan, It looks like they'll never quite stop. If you're screwing a girl and you fail, you'd If you're screwing a girl and you fail, you'd Yes! Ready, for sure, to perform! In barnyard, the convent, or dorm,
From the flange he had earlier fancied.
He thought heavens above
This was lust, not real love,
Knowing lust had meant more than romance did!
When serving wenches you're horning,
Try using the cunt
Which is 'round at the front,
Not the flange at the rear that is yawning!
Made hay in the shine of the sun;
Smirked he, "I'm no waiter
For midnight or later:
To do it in daylight's more fun."
--- Armand E Singer P0202
Whose parents do nothing but bitchita.
They want her to wait
For a good proper mate,
But how can she, when she's all a-twichita.
--- John Ciardi
But sooner or later we're warming,
To lines about SEX;
The reason, complex.
It's easier effort performing.
--- Chris Papa
Is only for dykes or for fags.
There is only one way
To end off the day,
And that's with some hot sweaty shags!
--- Archie
My Christmas high spirits regressing.
My cure? Piss on Prozac,
Get my girl on her back
And get my cock some caressing.
--- Jeeves
Take off! I'm aghast! There's no way!
For to go without tail
Is the worst kind of hell...
That is, unless you have to pay.
Of someone to do the deed;
My voluptuous twat
Is all wet and hot;
I promise good sex guaranteed!
--- Jen
As I start in sampling your tuna-
Type casserole dish,
And then if you wish,
I'll pretend you're a shark and harpoon ya.
--- Anon
When asked about sex said, "Oh my!
Straight or kink to it;
Baby, I'll drink to it;
Homo or hetero or bi!"
--- Jane D Hughes P9107a
When the Amazons make their invasion.
I may also lose heart,
But a different part
Will rise to meet each such occasion.
--- Lance Payne P8406
A young lout in her bed while she slept.
She would smile when she woke
To finger his poke,
And think, "This lacks couth, but it's ept."
--- John Ciardi
I was born under the sign of the ram.
So way back I loved Twiggy
And even Miss Piggy;
Now I love every chick's juicy clam.
--- Anon
He saw a lass and he woo'ed 'er.
The lass she was crass,
And she said, "Kiss my ass,"
But McGruder was cruder, he screwed 'er!
--- Lims For Year - 01
The best of all possible places.
For it had a mirage
In the form of a large
And affectionate female, curvaceous.
--- Anon
Said, "Now I shall sleep, for I'm tired."
That's not what he said
When he saw on his bed
A nubile and naked young naiad.
--- Harold C Bibby
Just looking for places to prod,
Like your slippery trench;
That fire I'll quench.
Now help me get rid of this wad.
--- Anon
You silly old fool. What a wimp!
My pussy, I bet,
Can always, when wet,
Get filled up 'thout needing a pimp.
--- Arden
Espying a maiden before him,
Invaded her grove,
A rich treasure trove,
Denying all sense of decorum.
--- Armand Singer
In anyone ugly or cute
Is dumber than hell,
And risky as well,
And it's atavistic, to boot.
--- Larry Davis P8606
"To hell with our family escutcheon!
At the very first chance
Off come these stretch-pants,
So my pussy can start right in smutchin'!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 012 G0120
Was unable to learn how to cook,
But to fuck she was able,
So she lay on the table
And supported her ass with the book.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0065
"I perceive that the essence of sex is,
Not so much to seduce,
As to turn on the juice,
When I plug in the thing that connects us."
--- Keith MacMillan A112A
And then she is done for the day.
I feel like a dunce
Only doing it once,
But practice makes perfect, they say.
--- Jim Weaver Collection a
Employed by a Vassar sorority.
It was not for the pay
But the chance for a lay,
For propinquity gives high priority.
--- G0055
As she piled into bed for a tussle,
"I've got a hot oven,
So get busy shovin'--
Start pushing in yards of love-muscle!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 939 G0747
"There are no conditions, my pet.
You may use any surface,
Any bump, any orifice,
Whatsoever you want, I am set."
--- Isaac Asimov
"I enjoy girlie games when I hot:
So you hide and I'll seek,
For my lust's at it's peak --
Here I come whether ready or not."
--- Armand E Singer 48
Need a break to escape from the dread.
My valise at the ready
With prophlactics and teddy,
For a night with a willing redhead.
--- Eric Seaberg
And hellfire may both us afflict.
But the furrow I plow
Is right here and now;
The afterlife's hard to predict.
--- Tutta Gioia
So whenever you're coming this way,
Just phone in advance
And I'll jerk off my pants,
And we're set for a sexy soiree."
--- G0053
Said, "Hubby, I hope you've your heat on?
Forgive the inquiry,
But I feel quite fiery,
And that's why the floor's got a sheet on."
--- Harold C Bibby
This is file yxm
"That the minds of all men are so dirty?
For there on the bed
With a hardon lies Ed,
And yelling Let's Fuck! since 8:30."
--- G0079
Who said, "I'm prepared to begin
Any sort of activity
That suits my proclivity,
Provided it counts as a sin."
--- Isaac Asimov
My penis gets hard really quick.
Then I start to ooze sperm
From seeing tits firm,
And I have a quite slippery dick!
--- Alexander the Poet
Who said, "Oh now, please do not kill me.
I love your advances,
And what's in your pantses.
Do you think it could possibly fill me?"
--- L0907
Who said with a wink and a smile,
"Sure, please stick it in,
Be it thick, be it thin,
But if rough, I won't do as a file."
--- L0089
Demanded but little persuasion,
To open her gates
(I.e. cunt or nates),
And suffer a virile invasion.
--- Armand Singer
This TLC that you've assured
I will now receive,
I need bad, I believe,
For I've grown just as stiff as a board.
--- Anon
Observed, "Och, virginity's foolish.
When a lad makes a try,
To say ought but 'Aye!'
Is stubborn, pig-headed, and mulish."
--- Anon
With lust unrequited I suffer;
But give me a chance
To get into her pants,
And I'd quite comprehensively stuff her.
--- Peter Wilkins
My name's not prone to defamation.
Though there's one thing I've got:
My mind's focussed on twat,
But I don't think that's an aberration.
--- Anon
Especially when she was bored,
That passing, by chance,
I could see at a glance,
She was thinking of something untoward.
--- John Ciardi
Just listen closely to their call.
Once tickled her clit
And she then calls Quit;
She means -- you get you in to your ball(s).
--- Anon
She felt sexy and wanted to deal.
Her nipples felt so hot,
She wanted him a lot.
Wasn't sex, it was tits in oatmeal.
--- Tom Patton P0308
They have urges they simply can't stifle.
A woman of France
Will pull down her pants
At the sight of a towering eyeful.
--- Anon
There's nothing like twice-nightly screwing.
But after a while
Despite polished style,
It sure takes a whole lot of doing.
--- Armand E Singer 342
With a girl to indulge in pursuits
Unchaste and clandestine
Which began by divestin'
Themselves of their red union suits.
--- John Ciardi
John explained, "It's unfair, don't you see?
For all I can do
Is to keep screwing you,
While you'd screw none other than me."
--- Isaac Asimov
With her legs still widely spread;
Wondering while waiting,
Who am I dating,
Should I use him or leave him for dead?
--- Anon
Decided to stop being subtle;
When her face hadn't caught
The mate she had sought,
She said to herself, "I know what'll."
--- Lims Unlimited
Who has it whenever she can.
But that's not really much,
So she's ripe for the touch,
Of just any old warm-blooded man.
--- Isaac Asimov
Guys and girls in a widespread uprising
Has come to a head,
For the girls are widespread,
And the guys are all swiftly uprising.
--- Edwina Leer
Said, "I like to mix gambling with nookie.
Before every race
I go home to my place
And curl up with a very good bookie."
--- W S Baring-Gold
And despite the enveloping gloom
Of his most-recent fart,
He could hear his own heart
Going BOOM! and then tickety-BOOM!
--- Peter Wilkins
Which she frantically tried to dispel,
Held his eyes in her gaze,
Through the murk and the haze,
As her embonpoint started to swell. (plumpness)
--- Peter Wilkins
Avoiding a public commotion.
Towards him, she ran
For she felt for this man
A tsunami-type wave of emotion.
--- Peter Wilkins
They clung tight in the gathering gloom.
Their initial attraction
Soon turned into action,
As lust did its business -- KABOOM!
--- Peter Wilkins
As he tore at her blouse and her skirt.
Then, as if in a trance,
They both ripped off their pants,
And GERONIMO -- down in the dirt!
--- Peter Wilkins
One could possibly use for coition.
They jumped and they pumped
And like rabbits they humped
In a desperate search for fruition.
--- Peter Wilkins
They reached peaks of excitement unknown.
But 'twas only a second,
For Lust again beckoned --
I think we should leave them alone.
--- Peter Wilkins
Why the guy appears never to flop!
They'll go on and on
Will young Janet and John,
Until one or the both of them drop.
--- Peter Wilkins
Be wise to try methods to stay lewd.
Stay calm and don't fidget,
Some even stay rigid,
By humming a J. S. Bach prelude.
--- Isaac Asimov P9902
Be wise to try methods to stay lewd.
Stay calm and don't squirm;
There's yet hope for your worm
By combining Viagra and Qualude.
--- Arthur Deex P9902a
I'm ready to screw up a storm
In ways that are kinky
In places quite stinky
But nothing quite fitting the norm
--- David Miller
I keep myself always in form
For sexual play
In some novel way,
But NEVER, I say, uniform!
--- John Miller
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