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The minaret climbed, the muezzin, Since their onset, the Cross and the Crescent A jaded young jerk from Jerusalem Collete wanted to bone up on Allah, Abu says that all lawyers are liars; During Ramadan, Jabbar un Creased Life or death give no guarantees, There once was a man named Mohammed, A muslim by name of Jaffar, To wed four wives at once is Islamic, There was an eccentric from Mecca, With his treatment of Allah, it's odd As guests in a Muslim society, Attempting a novel dry run, In Scratch Ankle, Alaska, lived a priest Masochistic, sadistic, Iran Of religion and priests and their urgin's Good Muslims must never drink booze The wife-business does have a snag; The Moslems are very dynamic, The Queers vs Muslims! How keen! The Muslims said, "By Allah's hand, To Mecca young Ali would bend, To the faithful, Koran's holy pages A recent Miss Nude of Afghanistan The hadiths of David and Tabari Ayisha! That name is devine! Now six is a little bit young, Jesus, the King of the Yids, With this ring, my dear, we'll be wed; (To evade strict adultry laws, moslems have temp marriages)
I've first got to phone the muezzin; To keep him from going berserk, a In Egypt, to gladden an Arab, I'm told when as martyr I die, And virgins I got, quite a few, It is said in the Arab News Halls, Sullen and churly are surly In a former, less feminist day, Then up spake the young King of Spain, Then spoke the Grand Duke of Lorraine: There was a young man from Peru, A prince with a temper outrageous When the Queen asked the King if he'd prick it, There once was a family royal To royalty (may it prevail), In red velvet robes, forty ells. Royal pajamas, I likewise admit, In Finland are two royal Finns, The King caused a public sensation, The Royalty gathered for tea While taking an unsung meander, As the Princess went climbing in Worcestershire, A quite oversized man from Shanaxi And HUNG-LO and HUNG-DOWN and HUNG-THRU, The Inca, in ruling Peru, When the Inca found virgins grew rare, In erection within the royal palace, Whoever said "No" to the Inca The Kings of Peru were the Incas, There was a great lord in Japan, On opening day King Juan Carlos In the palace, the princess, unclad, An elderly harlot from Trings The British tabloids are abuzzin' Some cousins who wear royal crest When cousins of royal blood marry,
Well tanked up on cannabis resin,
Calls people to prayer,
And those who don't care,
He curses... well that's what I'm guessin'.
--- Anon
Have made life for each other unpleasant.
Both worship a Lord
Of Peace and Accord.
Yet their warring's been almost incessant!
--- Laurence Perrine P8407
Had a stunt that would always bambusalem:
He would point with his pecca
Directly toward Mecca,
And pretend he was really a Musalem.
--- Norm Storer P9603
Since Islam now hold her in thrall. A
Koranic flirtation
Is such a temptation,
She's swallowed a big Muslim scholar.
--- Randog
He never fanned terrorist fires.
Just preached it was wiser
To pack fertilizer,
While using his hook to strip wires.
--- Jarmo
Manifested, "The Mark of the Beast."
Allah, with his mean tricks,
Marked him with 666.
He could not flop down nor face the East.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0201
To martyrs or their families;
When they pass away,
They'll hear Allah say,
"Who said that the virgins were she's?"
--- Anon
Who lived a life very becalmed.
He journeyed to Mecca,
Where folks said, "One hecka-
Va guy he is," so they Islamed.
--- Marc Hirsh
Into his penis, stuck a crowbar.
He said, "Walking's not easy.
Ramadan's left me queasy,
Now I must go to Mecca in a car."
--- Anon
And yet, on the whole, not so comic.
To satisfy four,
Is a bone-breaking chore,
Unless your sex drive is atomic.
--- Isaac Asimov
Who discovered a record from Decca,
Which he twirled on his thumb,
(These Muslims are dumb.)
While he needled the disc with his pecca.
--- L1480
That Saddam Hussein tries to prod
Those Moslem fanatics
And the grim theocratics,
The Shiites to stage a jihad.
--- A N Wilkins P9105
Our troops lived with distressing propriety.
Little sex for the body
In that Kingdom Of Saudi,
But what bugged them most was sobriety.
--- A N Wilkins P9104
They offered the Mullahs some fun.
And though quite a treat,
It cannot compete
With using the bomb and the gun.
--- SFA
Who had spent a long time in the East.
So he knelt down to pray
The required five times a day.
Scratch Ankle bothered him not in the least.
--- William K Alsop Jr
Will conqueer the world if it can.
It won't bend, not a smidgen,
It's all for religion,
Ayatollah, it's part of the plan.
--- Ann Gasser P8712
And the hatred that currently burgeons,
I'd choose the Valhalla
Of those who love Allah;
At least they pick GIRLS for their virgins!
--- John Miller
Or eat pork; they must take off their shoes
In the mosque; they must pray
About ten times a day;
They can have several wives if they choose.
--- Robin K Willoughby P8407
They risk ending up with a hag;
It's like "Let's Make A Deal,"
Lots of guesswork; you see, all
The women are hid in a bag.
--- Robin K Willoughby P8407
Enjoying rites epithalamic. (nuptual)
With multiple wives,
They screw all their lives;
Three cheers for all laws polygamic.
--- Armand E Singer 405
How deliciously foul and obscene!
May each do the other
As brother to brother...
Praise Allah and warm vaseline!
--- Anon
We'll make sure queer Dutch teams disband!
When Queens celebrate
He'll contaminate,
Their 'brown' Vaseline with some sand."
--- Anon
When at morning prayers with his friend,
Who was one of "those" guys,
And to no one's surprise,
Found romance right there, in the end.
--- Anon
Promise life after death with the sages.
And Allah be blessed,
The bravest and best
Screw houris throughout countless ages.
--- A N Wilkins P8710
Wore a burkha because of the Taliban.
But one day she forgot
And paid dearly when caught:
"Twelve Mullahs is more than one gal can stand!"
--- Don Moore P0202
Agree with the one by Bukhari,
That Ayisha was nine
When she lay with that swine,
And six when Mohammed did marry.
--- Donald McGill
So what if he laid her at nine?
The Prophet was said
To be great in his bed,
And seldom if ever porked swine.
--- Donald McGill
But if he was properly hung
And wasn't diseased,
Perhaps she was pleased.
(And the prophet was great with his tongue.)
--- Donald McGill
As well had a way with the kids.
But the Da Vinci Code
Might have hit the commode,
If the Prophet had fared better with SIDS,
--- Donald McGill
That's what the old Shi'ite law said.
It's soon time expired,
So before you get fired,
We'd better go upstairs to bed.
--- Tiddy Ogg
This scheme seems a trifle amazin'.
And if it is true,
I'm coming for you,
And on your nude form I'll be gazin'.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Shi'ite will take off her burkha
To better assist
Matrimonial bliss --
The miserable, two-timing furka.
--- Scott C
A gem that is shaped like a carob
Will satisfy much
To decorate such,
Because it's the same as a scarab.
--- R J Winkler P8407
This is file yol
I won't go to hell, so not fry.
I'll get virgins to fuck
So now try out my luck.
My friends, here I go, so good bye.
--- Dirruk
But find I've no urge them to screw.
They're ugly as sin
And virgins they've been
For all of their years: 92!
--- Tiddy Ogg
That Kahil the cartoonist lacks balls.
If he dares to draw well,
He would wake up in hell,
And his brains would be spread on the walls.
--- Tomer Shiran
Young men of dancing dervish whirly,
Whose thoughts fanatic
Supply dramatic
Tension to the quest for gates pearly.
--- Danidl Ford
Being Sultan could certainly pay;
And a perk for the Turk
With a torque to his dork:
There was work for the stork on the way.
--- Thomas A Quinine P8407 a
"To fuck and to bugger is pain.
But it's not infra dig,
On occasion to frig,
And I do it again and again."
--- Norman Douglas L0513
"Your worries give me a pain.
I don't worry at all,
But retire to my hall
And beget new blacks for my train."
--- G1054
Whose lineage was noble all through.
Now this isn't crud,
For not only his blood,
But even his semen was blue.
--- L1727P
Had a palace replete with young pages.
They were used for skulduggery
And much Royal buggery,
And he castrated some in his rages.
--- G1029
He spent too little time in her thicket.
The Queen moaned in despair
For the itch was still there.
Said the King, "Call the Pope -- he will lick it."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0869
Whose original name had been Doyle.
They enraged all of Eire
When they changed to McFire,
Which wasn't according to Hoyle.
--- Neal Wilgus P8308
My loyalty never shall fail.
I hail it with zest --
But the kind I like best
Is the kind comes ad-dressed in my mail.
--- Laurence Perrine P8308
My form would be greeted with yells,
The Lord Chamberlain, Great,
Will excape such a fate,
Because he is one of the swells.
--- Langford Reed P9401
Wouldn't suit my appearance a bit;
But the Marquess of Cholmondeley
Is bound to look colmondeley,
Providing, of course, that they fit.
--- Langford Reed P9401
True bluebloods from toes to their chins;
Nine months after she
Said, "We'll have progeny,"
Her blue genes split and she had twins.
--- Evelyn Bogen P9404
By fucking the Queen in the station.
Said he, "No effront'ry!
The King of a country
Must surely provide demonstration!"
--- Lance Payne P8308
And to honor the new Holy See.
Between belching and farts
They discussed the fine arts,
Then they went on a mad fucking spree.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2329
Discovering what's good for the gander,
Ain't good for the goose,
(Who lacks a prepuce)
Save, arousing his majesty's dander.
--- Anon
She asked an attendant to borcesterhire. (boost her higher)
Well, he botched the whole thing
And exclaimed to the King,
"Omigod, I'm afraid that I've gorcestersire."
--- Norm Storer
Was the origin of the, well, Hung-Dynasty.
It did never grow big,
But his personal rig
Was referred to as "His Majesty".
--- Anon
But of course those you already knew.
There were others also
On the banks of the PO,
Called FU-KIM, FU-KU & FU-KU-TU
--- Anon
Had really but little to do.
Supplied with fresh virgins,
He'd assuage his sex urgin's,
And spent life in a perpetual screw.
--- G0718P
There were always fresh llamas, or bear!
What prudes viewed as bestial,
He declared was celestial,
And fucked every hole in his paradise terrestial
--- G0719
The Inca, with incaic malice,
Would bugger his wives
Till they broke out in hives,
And his Regal Pud grew a great callus.
--- G0720
Was flung in a crater extinca,
Leaving behind genitalia
To adorn his regalia.
The Inca was really a stinca.
--- G0721
Who were known far and wide as great drincas.
They worshipped the sun,
And had lots of fun,
But the peons all thought them great stincas.
--- Reed Warsham
Whose name on a Tuesday began.
It carried through Sunday,
Till twilight on Monday,
And sounded like stones in a can.
--- Anon
Started his speech with some "OH-OH's."
Hissed his aide from Madrid,
"Now look what you did--
You've just read the Olympic logos!"
--- Arthur Deex P9201
Had guests every day at her pad.
They were very discrete
Beneath the bedsheet;
The kids don't resemble their dad!
--- Al Willis T9712
Has fucked the last four Spanish kings.
Says she, "They're all short,
And no good at the sport,
But the queen is a lezzie, and swings."
--- G0781
About the Royals who marry a cousin.
How many times before
Did royal cousins score?
The answer is over a dozen.
--- Tom Patton P0207
Often marry and screw with great zest.
Mother nature they dare;
Are attended with care
And with idiot children are blessed.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0207
The genes they supply may not vary.
When recessives are double,
They're in for big trouble;
Explaining the moron King Harry.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0207
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