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Afraid you'll become a statistic?
The answer to me is simplistic
Become unexpendable
And don't be unbendable--
Or to his extendable bliss stick!
--- Anon

But if you should find your job's ended
And things don't work out as intended
And he's no intention
Of granting extension,
My offer's still fully extended...
--- Anon

Laundresses at honeymoon hotels
Get so heated by bridal-suite smells
That by day in a frenzy,
They read up on Kinsey,
And by night practice all the book tells.

(Kinsey Report - first book about when and how much sex)
--- G2144

A noted biologist Nate
Developed a thought that was great.
In his lab, on their knees,
The young girls would eat peas,
And he'd throw them the meat while they ate.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0738

You might start with the girls of Vancouver,
Who know an orgasmic improver.
A thumb up your bum
At the moment you come --
A clever, though risky, manoeuver.
--- Ed Potts P8710a

My professor of sex claimed he knew,
A hundred and one things to do.
My girlfriend ain't much
At book-learning and such,
But she knows a hundred and two.
--- John Ciardi

"Catch 'em young, treat 'em rough, tell 'em nothing"
Said the song, and though prudes may be cuthing,
To give 'em your brawn
At puberty's dawn,
Will save much expense and much futhing.
--- Anon

At Bab's fishing hole you should dangle
Your pole, and then give it a jangle;
Then if you've no catch
When making the snatch,
Try using a different angle.
--- Anon

A young man from Zamora was grand.
Women flocked from all over the land.
They all wanted a peek,
Or better, a tweak,
And a chance to be under his hand.
--- Charlotte

The holiday season seems early;
It makes me feel hostile and surly.
But I find that I might
Relieve stress at night,
If I snuggle down where hair is curly!
--- Shakes Younger Bro T9711

These hot newlyweds of North Hyde
Flip a coin every night to decide
Who will be the ridee,
And tonight we see Bee
Mounting Clyde to begin the night's ride.
--- G0153

To be your own man is the way,
To feel like a king every day.
Don't be your own queen,
Not that it's unclean,
But a girl's got a right to a lay.
--- Anon

Once a lecherous fellow named Shea,
When his prick wouldn't rise for a lay,
"You must seize it, and squeeze it,
And tease it, and please it,
For Rome wasn't built in a day."
--- L0094

For days, how they fussed and they fumed;
The anger, now spent and consumed.
By now he suspects
Her goal's makeup sex...
Price paid, now his maid, she'd costumed.
--- Emma Mara

'Cross the bed she is stretched and she taunts,
"Oh, monsieur, I know jus' what you wants!"
She lifts her fluffed skirts;
He applies just desserts.
Mais oui! Of to pleasure-filled jaunts.
--- Emma Mara

She saucily tosses her hair;
His eyes, there's a glint...wouldn't dare!
He grow, now, much bolder;
Her eyes, how they smolder;
Her hands back...she hides derriere!
--- Emma Mara

Her heart's pounding ever so fast;
She's certain monsieur cannot last!
O'er his lap she's now bent,
Proving he's not quite spent.
She'll pay for her glee when she sassed!
--- Emma Mara

There was a young whore in Thermopylae
Who never did anything properly;
So they said, "If you choose
To crack eggs with your cooze,
You'll discover you're fucking too sloppily."
--- Anon

While strolling upon a nude beach,
A blond came into my reach.
She slapped me all silly,
Then pulled out my willy,
And stuck it into her breach!
--- Anon

There is a young woman named Rose,
Who has a fixation on toes.
She thinks that love's remedies,
Start with pedal extremities,
And she then passes on to -- God knows!
--- Isaac Asimov

Good sex, it just has to be said,
Is not about getting good head.
Providing the Lass
Has got enough class,
She'll relish the shafting instead.
--- SFA

But of course, if she has a good heart,
On her knees is from where she will start.
And to help get you ready,
She will put on a "teddy",
And not that cheap crap from Walmart.
--- Anon

And if all the head you get's good,
Maybe she'll sit on your wood.
You'll fill up her chasm
While she just orgasms
And then do it again if you should.
--- Chris Papa

Connoisseurs of coition aver,
That the best British girls never stir.
This condition in Persia,
Is known as inertia.
It depends which response you prefer.
--- Anon G0011

A lively young lass from Blantyre
Succumbed to her lover's desire.
And when he was in,
Jabbed his ass with a pin,
Which made him go in even higher.
--- Michael Horgan

A remarkable girl is Miss Treadwell;
Aside from the fact she gives head well,
She's a talent supreme.
She takes on the whole team
But to do so her legs must be spread well.
--- Theo Heller P9211

Though I don't carry all that much girth,
Making love's to girls is Heaven on Earth.
When up go their knees,
The way that they squeeze,
Just milks me for all that it's worth!
--- Anon

I like proof that my style's up to snuff;
But, when bedded, some vixens get rough;
I don't want my back clawed,
By some hot-blooded broad;
A small fart and a sigh's quite enough!
--- Anon

I've traveled to East and to West,
And found I'm the one I love best.
The mirror is wise;
It tells me no lies.
Oh Hell! You all know that's a jest.
--- Susan Arden

The males are the ones I love best;
You needn't put me to the test.
I'm hot for you guys.
On my back I try
To never give you any rest.
--- Susan Arden

I'd rather, if you'd be so kind,
You knelt. An approach from behind
Lets me tickle your nipples,
Resulting in ripples
Of joy, as your treasure is mined.
--- Tiddy Ogg

For passion, it ebbs and it flows
But lucky is he, if she knows...
Try spice, here and there;
New skills will ensnare;
And she'll reap, with long moans, what she sows.
--- Anon

Miss Dimples has such pretty knees,
And Oh, how that gal loves to please!
She spreads them so wide
As she soulfully sighs,
"As soon as you're in, dear, I'll squeeze."
--- Joe Long Q

This is file ynm

Each time that I suckle Jane's nipples,
Her body squirms, wriggles, and ripples;
But that's when she starts
Producing wet farts,
And soon all the bedclothes have stipples.
--- Tiddy Ogg

There's tire tracks, as well, on my bed.
Not stippled, but blotchy instead.
"The rag" on steroids,
Or perhaps hemorrhoids,
And smelly and stringy and red.
--- John Miller

A woman who lived in Bermuda
Surprised a nocturnal intruder.
To make him feel randy,
She poured him a brandy,
And tickled his balls while he screwed her.
--- Michael Horgan

Time was when most carnal enjoyment
Depended on girl-under-boy-ment;
But today's ways of sex
Use techniques so complex,
That they've lessened girls' underemployment.
--- Playboy Mag Jim Weaver

An innocent nympho named Ginger
Fell hard for a muscular ninja;
Her concept of sex
Caused physical wrecks --
In her case, enough to unhinge her.
--- Armand E Singer 815

A book-loving scholar named Ted,
Trades reading for diddling in bed,
Turning pages was fun,
Screwing's better, bar none;
Raw sex rears its famed ugly head.
--- Armand Singer

The groom was all in a fuddle.
His brother's advice was a muddle.
"Blow in her ear?
Or blow in her rear?
The difference is so very subtle."
--- Greg Schindler P9001

A skillful old toolmaker Hugh
Prepared a young girl for a screw,
But he first blued her in
From her knees to her chin,
Before thrusting his prick up her flue.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0206

I am told by a man named Cantrell,
Promiscuity won't send you to hell.
He says no one cares
What you do or don't dare,
As long as you do it quite well.
--- Evelyn L

I ride Kate buck-naked of course.
And whip her with excessive force;
She never says 'Neigh!'
To spurs or horse play.
She bucks nearly as good as a horse.
--- David Miller

If you want to make a girl quiver
With multiple orgasms, give her
Enough of your cock,
Till she feels it knock
Against her spleen, kidneys and liver.
--- Travis Brasell

It's a habit of husbands of Salem
When their wives or their mistresses fail 'em,
To go slightly berserk,
And if that doesn't work,
To leap on the bed and impale 'em.
--- Keith MacMillan A062A

There once was a randy old geezer
Who make love in a factory freezer,
And the jet of his ream
Got turned into ice cream
Which he placed in a coronet to please her.
--- Donald McGill

A shy knight who had sailed with Da Gama
Was cursed by a maid with loud drama.
"Sir," she yelled, "You are rude
For while I lieth nude,
You do lie on me, clad in full armour!"
--- David A Brooks

All my life I've been just a trucker;
Don't marmalade, my spread is Smucker.
So for Valentine's day,
I give cards and a lay,
But while she's making love, I just fuck her.
--- Anon

There was a young man named Sid,
Who said as they lay there naked,
"I love you so madly;
Wanted to make love so badly..."
She replied, "And that's just what your did!"
--- Kaylin a

The long-legged Mary would straddle
My boat as I planted my paddle.
And each time we docked,
She'd go off half cocked.
No, not with a mince but a waddle.
--- SFA

A long-peckered sailor from Durham
Made all the girls holler and squirm.
He withdraws, letting fly,
Saying "Mud in your eye!"
And that's where he deposits his sperm.
--- G0576

Unnatural lust delights Rex
(Devices illegal, complex);
His wicket gets sticky,
Techniques that prove tricky,
But Crist, what sensational sex.
--- Armand Singer

There was an old chef name of Zimmer
Who had in his eye a strange glimmer.
With his girl he did toil,
Till she came to a boil,
Then he set her aside just to simmer.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0785

You men are all so alike;
It's not the size of your spike,
But what you do where
When you get it there,
After giving our skirts a good hike.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A young Vassar student from France
Had a lover with St Vitus dance.
It was awkward, no doubt,
When they were out and about,
But was grand when he got in her pants.
--- Big Little Playoy Lims

In a nearby Westchester suburb
An affectionate trapper named Herb
Trapped blondes in tight pants,
Who, the sexy vagrants...
Said his screwing technique was superb.
--- Grand Prix Lim 384

When arousing his partner erotically,
Cousteau liked behaving exotically.
He would don rubber suit,
And some flippers, to boot,
And tickle her fancy aquatically.
--- Anon

There was a young fellow named Lyle
Who practiced a new-fangled style.
It could not be Yiddish,
Or Spanish or British;
It was French, and it took a long while.
--- Albin Chaplin

A woman has got to be siezable,
And then she has got to be squeezable;
Thereafter, I hear,
The sailing is clear,
Providing milady's unfreezable.
--- Limber Limericks

I wish I knew more about Jim's
Unusual sexual whims,
Many of which
Involve pneumatic tits,
And synthetic, customized quims.
--- Michael Horgan

When a Sheik of the Gulf took a bride,
At the moment of entry she shied;
So he told her to sit,
Did a lickety-split,
And then ushered his gusher inside.
--- Thomas A Quinine P8407 a

There was a young tart from the Fraser;
So cool that no fellow could faze her.
Till that logger she met --
After that I forget
If he flays, sways, dismays, or just lays her.
--- Keith MacMillan 104b

A horny man from Glascow, a Scot
Couldn't find a fat woman's twat.
And so for an hour
He rolled her in flour,
Then poked his dick in the wet spot.
--- Vie

It's great to have gals that are fat,
Assuming you know where you're at.
Those 54J's (largest size in brassiere catalog)
Keep you happy for days,
No matter you can't find her twat.
--- Tiddy Ogg

With taunts of "Hey bitch, who's your daddy?"
Joe thrust in a wet spot on a fatty.
Her twat wasn't polled;
Instead a fat fold
Had serviced his rampant meat patty.
--- Randog

She said, "You'll never have me, you know."
Which I took as a challenge, and so...
Forty minutes it took
Till she trembled and shook,
Then asked, "Why'd you make me so SLOW?"
--- John Miller

A tourist from Nyack named Durkee
Found a small, cut-rate harem in Turkey.
Their exotic technique
Kept him spinning for a week;
Even now, a year later, he's jerky.
--- Grand Prix Lim 375 G0677


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