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Sally was a blonde and a Brit,
Who was fond of a tongue on her clit.
And when she got head,
It had to be said,
She squirmed like a pig on a spit!
--- Tim Fisher

Now Joan was brunette and a Frog,
Preferred Cabernet to plain grog.
But any old sinner
Could get plain grog in her,
And shortly then get in his log.
--- John Miller

When Joe ventured out in his pinnace
With sexy young Irish gal, Glynis,
She got in the mood
For the rude and the lewd,
Once she'd had a bottle of Guinness.
--- Tiddy Ogg

Miss Meg, a sweet dame of the Welsh,
Exclaimed with a well-cultured belch,
"When you piss on my tongue,
Which has licked off your bung,
It cleans up the debris from the felch!"
--- Ward Hardman

An acrobat lewdly enwrapt
Went wild as Toms's testicles slapped.
"Your great balls need sucking,"
She yelled, and while fucking,
She drove Big Tom mad as she lapped!
--- G0581

A young couple who came from Des Moines
Went to motels to vibrate their loins.
She would sit on her mate
And start to gyrate,
While he fed the bed, bags of coins.
--- Big Little Playoy Lims

Though a horny young locksmith named Shore,
Had the hots for his favorite whore,
When the cops got inside,
With a true craftsman's pride,
He was making a bolt for the door.
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner

There's really no doubting that Joanie's
Most active erogenous zone is
Her cute little muff,
'Cause she can't get enough
Of bouncing about on fat ponies.
--- Michael Horgan

I once knew a French girl named Emily,
She's the height of the femme de la femmely.
Her boyfriend Jacques
Likes to feed her his cock,
While she whips him up creme de la cremely.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

There once was a girl named Petunia,
Who would squeeze with her legs while she's screw'n ya.
She did not realize
With the banging of thighs,
The testicular damage she's doin' ya.
--- Anon

If you race to the end without slowing
And pausing while you are bestowing
The proof of your love
With an extra-deep shove
Then you'll come not while coming, but going!
--- Anon

Last night as I prodded and missed,
"I'll help you to find it", she hissed.
I replied: "Don't you dare!
He's already been there,
Just not while you're doing the twist!"
--- Anon

A Vassar girl over from France,
Had a lover with St. Vitus dance.
This was awkward, they say,
At a meal or a play,
But was grand when he got in her pants.
--- Anon

When Cupid loved Psyche, it seems,
Their sex life was one of extremes.
Their performance in bed
Exceeded, it's said,
The wildest sex orgies of dreams.
--- G0751

A fellow once said, "It's hilarious
That sexual techniques are so various.
Some are exotic,
And some, most erotic,
And some, so they say, are precarious."
--- Limericks Naughty & Gay

When your Jon exungulates you,
Do you quiver or do you just coo?
Or cut to the quick
And give a big flick
To the scoundrel who does this to you?
--- Anon

Guess I'm not as clever as you,
'Cause what this means, I have no clue.
But I'd never flick,
Jon's huge throbbing dick,
Or trade him for a kangaroo.
--- Anon

There was a young lad from New Zealand,
Who liked to have his girl a-kneelin',
He'd straddle her face,
And begin there apace,
And soon he'd look at the ceiling.
--- Anon

Oh groom, if you wish to deploy
To your bride ineluctable joy,
Forget about size,
If you are so wise,
It's motion that you should employ.
--- Terry

The thing about fucking in space,
Is keeping all things in their place.
A wee bit of fumbling
Can start things to tumbling,
And jizzwads end up on your face.
--- Anon

'Pon the table he laid her with care,
So white and so glistening and bare...
His forehead grew wet
With beads of bright sweat,
As he rubbed her from here down to there...
--- Jim Weaver Collection

There was a young fellow named Knightley;
So masterful, active and sprightly.
And so adept and agile,
That with young ladies fragile,
He would give them the once over lightly.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0234

A rich girl in Boca Raton,
Met a man and said "Let's tie one on!"
The man humped her gently
And drove off in her Bentley.
She sighed when she woke: he was gone.
--- Actaeon

A doll, quite a DEXTEROUS dish,
Could fulfill each lover's bold wish.
One day in tryst hot,
They tied such a knot,
In Gordian joy they languish.
--- Chris Papa

A spaceman and girl in free fall
Found a new way of heeding Love's call.
"I've been tumbled," she said,
"On floor, sofa, and bed,
But never halfway up a wall."
--- Poul Anderson G2597a

There is a young girl in Cheyenne
Who has an attraction for man,
For her body is svelte,
And she loves to be felt,
And she helps with her hips all she can.
--- G0035

A skillful young fucker's maneuver
Excited his girl and did move her
To exclaim, "Oh dear Ben,
I must come back again."
But he said "This is just the hors d'oeuvre."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0258

Into lust did two midgets stumble,
'Cause in a dryer their clothes were a jumble.
They climbed in and then
They set it to spin.
Within it they had a hot tumble.
--- Anon

You gals are not easy to fool;
I have heard aphorism cool
That: "If you'd win the prize,
It isn't just size,
But mainly how you use the tool!"
--- Chris Papa

It's Irish men, maidens still seek,
Because of our foreplay technique:
"I'm told your not frigid,
So brace yerself, Brigid,
And don't give me none of yer cheek!"
--- Anon

The pain started in the bloody knee,
Whilst trampoline jumping, you see.
I then pulled a lig';
Knee swoll so big,
And hurt again when Love chased me.
--- Tiddy Ogg

Those sure are some strange words you speak;
In fact they are somewhat oblique.
Just how does Love seize
Up your cute little knees?
Perhaps you should change your technique.
--- Tiddy Ogg

I think to her story, there's more;
She'll not duck if she call it a bore.
My mind thought "Egads!
What she needs are kneepads,
If with knees, she's traversing the floor."
--- Jenni Saqua

This is file ymm

I think the young lady is gifted,
But from her guilt we have been shifted
To disguise, if you please,
That the pain in her knees,
Is from her beau being knee-lifted.
--- Cyber Wizard

She agreed the technique would be fancy,
But expressed the concern it was chancy.
With his usual flair,
Mark leapt high in the air,
Then took one stroke to finish off Nancy!
--- Lims For Year - 01

Should your man lose a pound or two?
There's this great exercise he can do!
He'll give up the gym
If you'll lie beneath him
And let him do push-ups on you!
--- Writerman

Dancing with him is a treat --
His technique just can't be beat!
He faces me frontally,
To "dance" horizontally --
Seldom does he step on my feet!
--- Kaylin

Your cock is quite handsome, my pet.
It's size does enthrall me; and yet
Make it move like a piston,
Like the fists of S. Liston,
If you want all us girls to get wet.
--- Anon

Said horny young lover, Bill Hammett,
"To hell with mere foreplay, goddammit.
I'll tell you no lies,
Spread wide both your thighs,
And feel what it's like when I ram it."
--- Armand Singer

Rotational pelvic gyrations,
Vibrations and clenching sensations
Without hesitation
Relieve all frustration
With throbbingly liquid pulsations.
--- Anon

There was an old cocksman from Attic,
Who suffered from spasms rheumatic;
So whether each thrust
Was lumbago or lust
Seemed always a bit problematic.
--- Harold C Bibby

I think my bed's shrinking somehow.
I can't seem to roll over now
Without falling out.
It's something about
The man sleeping there, I'll allow.
--- Anon

He seems to change size without warning.
I think it was only this morning
That he grew in size
Before my own eyes,
And claimed that he needed dehorning.
--- Anon

It's true, a fine man has his price --
So when his size multiplies thrice,
Best pay him attention,
And don't ever mention
It tastes like a bad blend of spice.
--- Anon

If he tastes bad, I must say
That I am not willing to play.
Until he can make
Himself taste like a cake,
Or sweet cream cheese frosting frappe.
--- Anon

My god, if my spunk tasted sweet
I'd advertise "Come taste my meat!"
And then I'd insist
On pussy not pissed.
"Bon chat, bon rat, Mar. Toot sweet?"
--- Anon

There once lived a young man named Sean;
It was Shirley that he'd jump upon.
Like a school of trout,
They'd wiggle about;
They wouldn't fuck, they would spawn!
--- Jim Weaver Collection a

I've always said sex is adorable...
It's like, getting NONE that's deplorable!
I love a real shove,
But heavens above...
Your notion of motion is horrible.
--- Grand Prix Lim 918

An agile contortionist, Beakley,
Was screwing a lady uniquely.
In the midst of ferment,
She got twisted and bent,
So he finished his fucking obliquely.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0035

Though "stiffs" in a "house" are the norm,
It's best to avoid such a swarm.
Though I have no dread
Of girls who are dead,
I'm much preferring them warm.
--- John Miller

We know an old gal from Decatur,
With an ass like a red ripe tomater.
She'll roll in the weeds,
While you get off your seeds;
And that's why us fellers all date her.
--- Anon

Tomorrow we'll play ring-round-the-rosy;
Come see what I've got in my posey.
When this pussy falls down,
Your turn; mount my mound.
Then it's my turn. I'll ring your hosey.
--- Anon

I'm here and I'm ready to ring
Your rosey with my ding-a-ling
Then you'll ring my hosey--
Will you use your posey
Or another orifice on my thing?
--- Anon

Maybe you meant your sweet mouth
Would once again be going south,
To leave some lipstick
Around my thick prick.
Well here it is, I'll whip it out
--- Anon

You can ring it both ways tonight
From sundown until morning light.
Just one time around,
I've always found,
Ain't enough to finish me right.
--- Anon

A God-fearing maiden from Goshen,
Took a September-morn swim in the ocean.
When a whirlpool appeared,
She rose up and cheered,
And developed a rotary motion.
--- W S Baring-Gold

There once was a guy named McPeeper,
As a lover, well known as a leaper.
He sprang in the air
And lit with a flair,
Making entry much quicker and deeper.
--- Grand Prix Lim no num

Those cuddly young ladies of Russia
Will charge ahead -- try to rush ya.
Don't! Go with the flow;
Pump steady and slow.
Girls will do their best just to hush ya.
--- Nik Synytskyy

There was a young juggler named Ruggling
Who attempted coition while juggling,
And today in my dreams,
I can still hear his screams
And his tormented cries and his struggling.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 P8711

As far as the synonym, "screw"
Rotating's not easy to do.
The the next time you're in,
Attempt a half spin,
Her toes make your nose black and blue.
--- Irving Superior P8511

There once was a salesgirl named Mary,
(Not the one that you know, quite contrary)
Said, "Right 'til the end,
My sexy young friend."
When asked if she kept stationary.
--- Cyber Wizard

I know now just what you mean,
But she has tricks you might not have seen.
She'll stand and she'll stay,
And if you twist the right way,
She can suck you right in 'till you cream!
--- Anon

A muscular male acrobat,
And a girl who was lithe as a cat,
Decided that supple
Young people should couple
And exercise only like that.
--- Anon

After flowers and presents galore,
My Madonna turns into my whore;
Licking cock, balls and ass,
Then to be really crass
We take turns plugging holes till we're sore.
--- Anon

A redneck that was called Old Jed,
Was horny as he lay on his bed.
His old wife said no,
As he slipped it in slow,
So he turned over and did her that way instead.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

"I'll let any nice guy have a lay,
But he's sure gotta do it my way.
Guys who bounce when they hump
Give me PIP in the rump,
And I'm pooped for the rest of the day!"
--- Grand Prix Lim no num


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