Sally was a blonde and a Brit, Now Joan was brunette and a Frog, When Joe ventured out in his pinnace Miss Meg, a sweet dame of the Welsh, An acrobat lewdly enwrapt A young couple who came from Des Moines Though a horny young locksmith named Shore, There's really no doubting that Joanie's I once knew a French girl named Emily, There once was a girl named Petunia, If you race to the end without slowing Last night as I prodded and missed, A Vassar girl over from France, When Cupid loved Psyche, it seems, A fellow once said, "It's hilarious When your Jon exungulates you, Guess I'm not as clever as you, There was a young lad from New Zealand, Oh groom, if you wish to deploy The thing about fucking in space, 'Pon the table he laid her with care, There was a young fellow named Knightley; A rich girl in Boca Raton, A doll, quite a DEXTEROUS dish, A spaceman and girl in free fall There is a young girl in Cheyenne A skillful young fucker's maneuver Into lust did two midgets stumble, You gals are not easy to fool; It's Irish men, maidens still seek, The pain started in the bloody knee, Those sure are some strange words you speak; I think to her story, there's more;
This is file ymm
I think the young lady is gifted, She agreed the technique would be fancy, Should your man lose a pound or two? Dancing with him is a treat -- Your cock is quite handsome, my pet. Said horny young lover, Bill Hammett, Rotational pelvic gyrations, There was an old cocksman from Attic, I think my bed's shrinking somehow. He seems to change size without warning. It's true, a fine man has his price -- If he tastes bad, I must say My god, if my spunk tasted sweet There once lived a young man named Sean; I've always said sex is adorable... An agile contortionist, Beakley, Though "stiffs" in a "house" are the norm, We know an old gal from Decatur, Tomorrow we'll play ring-round-the-rosy; I'm here and I'm ready to ring Maybe you meant your sweet mouth You can ring it both ways tonight A God-fearing maiden from Goshen, There once was a guy named McPeeper, Those cuddly young ladies of Russia There was a young juggler named Ruggling As far as the synonym, "screw" There once was a salesgirl named Mary, I know now just what you mean, A muscular male acrobat, After flowers and presents galore, A redneck that was called Old Jed, "I'll let any nice guy have a lay,
Who was fond of a tongue on her clit.
And when she got head,
It had to be said,
She squirmed like a pig on a spit!
--- Tim Fisher
Preferred Cabernet to plain grog.
But any old sinner
Could get plain grog in her,
And shortly then get in his log.
--- John Miller
With sexy young Irish gal, Glynis,
She got in the mood
For the rude and the lewd,
Once she'd had a bottle of Guinness.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Exclaimed with a well-cultured belch,
"When you piss on my tongue,
Which has licked off your bung,
It cleans up the debris from the felch!"
--- Ward Hardman
Went wild as Toms's testicles slapped.
"Your great balls need sucking,"
She yelled, and while fucking,
She drove Big Tom mad as she lapped!
--- G0581
Went to motels to vibrate their loins.
She would sit on her mate
And start to gyrate,
While he fed the bed, bags of coins.
--- Big Little Playoy Lims
Had the hots for his favorite whore,
When the cops got inside,
With a true craftsman's pride,
He was making a bolt for the door.
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner
Most active erogenous zone is
Her cute little muff,
'Cause she can't get enough
Of bouncing about on fat ponies.
--- Michael Horgan
She's the height of the femme de la femmely.
Her boyfriend Jacques
Likes to feed her his cock,
While she whips him up creme de la cremely.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who would squeeze with her legs while she's screw'n ya.
She did not realize
With the banging of thighs,
The testicular damage she's doin' ya.
--- Anon
And pausing while you are bestowing
The proof of your love
With an extra-deep shove
Then you'll come not while coming, but going!
--- Anon
"I'll help you to find it", she hissed.
I replied: "Don't you dare!
He's already been there,
Just not while you're doing the twist!"
--- Anon
Had a lover with St. Vitus dance.
This was awkward, they say,
At a meal or a play,
But was grand when he got in her pants.
--- Anon
Their sex life was one of extremes.
Their performance in bed
Exceeded, it's said,
The wildest sex orgies of dreams.
--- G0751
That sexual techniques are so various.
Some are exotic,
And some, most erotic,
And some, so they say, are precarious."
--- Limericks Naughty & Gay
Do you quiver or do you just coo?
Or cut to the quick
And give a big flick
To the scoundrel who does this to you?
--- Anon
'Cause what this means, I have no clue.
But I'd never flick,
Jon's huge throbbing dick,
Or trade him for a kangaroo.
--- Anon
Who liked to have his girl a-kneelin',
He'd straddle her face,
And begin there apace,
And soon he'd look at the ceiling.
--- Anon
To your bride ineluctable joy,
Forget about size,
If you are so wise,
It's motion that you should employ.
--- Terry
Is keeping all things in their place.
A wee bit of fumbling
Can start things to tumbling,
And jizzwads end up on your face.
--- Anon
So white and so glistening and bare...
His forehead grew wet
With beads of bright sweat,
As he rubbed her from here down to there...
--- Jim Weaver Collection
So masterful, active and sprightly.
And so adept and agile,
That with young ladies fragile,
He would give them the once over lightly.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0234
Met a man and said "Let's tie one on!"
The man humped her gently
And drove off in her Bentley.
She sighed when she woke: he was gone.
--- Actaeon
Could fulfill each lover's bold wish.
One day in tryst hot,
They tied such a knot,
In Gordian joy they languish.
--- Chris Papa
Found a new way of heeding Love's call.
"I've been tumbled," she said,
"On floor, sofa, and bed,
But never halfway up a wall."
--- Poul Anderson G2597a
Who has an attraction for man,
For her body is svelte,
And she loves to be felt,
And she helps with her hips all she can.
--- G0035
Excited his girl and did move her
To exclaim, "Oh dear Ben,
I must come back again."
But he said "This is just the hors d'oeuvre."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0258
'Cause in a dryer their clothes were a jumble.
They climbed in and then
They set it to spin.
Within it they had a hot tumble.
--- Anon
I have heard aphorism cool
That: "If you'd win the prize,
It isn't just size,
But mainly how you use the tool!"
--- Chris Papa
Because of our foreplay technique:
"I'm told your not frigid,
So brace yerself, Brigid,
And don't give me none of yer cheek!"
--- Anon
Whilst trampoline jumping, you see.
I then pulled a lig';
Knee swoll so big,
And hurt again when Love chased me.
--- Tiddy Ogg
In fact they are somewhat oblique.
Just how does Love seize
Up your cute little knees?
Perhaps you should change your technique.
--- Tiddy Ogg
She'll not duck if she call it a bore.
My mind thought "Egads!
What she needs are kneepads,
If with knees, she's traversing the floor."
--- Jenni Saqua
But from her guilt we have been shifted
To disguise, if you please,
That the pain in her knees,
Is from her beau being knee-lifted.
--- Cyber Wizard
But expressed the concern it was chancy.
With his usual flair,
Mark leapt high in the air,
Then took one stroke to finish off Nancy!
--- Lims For Year - 01
There's this great exercise he can do!
He'll give up the gym
If you'll lie beneath him
And let him do push-ups on you!
--- Writerman
His technique just can't be beat!
He faces me frontally,
To "dance" horizontally --
Seldom does he step on my feet!
--- Kaylin
It's size does enthrall me; and yet
Make it move like a piston,
Like the fists of S. Liston,
If you want all us girls to get wet.
--- Anon
"To hell with mere foreplay, goddammit.
I'll tell you no lies,
Spread wide both your thighs,
And feel what it's like when I ram it."
--- Armand Singer
Vibrations and clenching sensations
Without hesitation
Relieve all frustration
With throbbingly liquid pulsations.
--- Anon
Who suffered from spasms rheumatic;
So whether each thrust
Was lumbago or lust
Seemed always a bit problematic.
--- Harold C Bibby
I can't seem to roll over now
Without falling out.
It's something about
The man sleeping there, I'll allow.
--- Anon
I think it was only this morning
That he grew in size
Before my own eyes,
And claimed that he needed dehorning.
--- Anon
So when his size multiplies thrice,
Best pay him attention,
And don't ever mention
It tastes like a bad blend of spice.
--- Anon
That I am not willing to play.
Until he can make
Himself taste like a cake,
Or sweet cream cheese frosting frappe.
--- Anon
I'd advertise "Come taste my meat!"
And then I'd insist
On pussy not pissed.
"Bon chat, bon rat, Mar. Toot sweet?"
--- Anon
It was Shirley that he'd jump upon.
Like a school of trout,
They'd wiggle about;
They wouldn't fuck, they would spawn!
--- Jim Weaver Collection a
It's like, getting NONE that's deplorable!
I love a real shove,
But heavens above...
Your notion of motion is horrible.
--- Grand Prix Lim 918
Was screwing a lady uniquely.
In the midst of ferment,
She got twisted and bent,
So he finished his fucking obliquely.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0035
It's best to avoid such a swarm.
Though I have no dread
Of girls who are dead,
I'm much preferring them warm.
--- John Miller
With an ass like a red ripe tomater.
She'll roll in the weeds,
While you get off your seeds;
And that's why us fellers all date her.
--- Anon
Come see what I've got in my posey.
When this pussy falls down,
Your turn; mount my mound.
Then it's my turn. I'll ring your hosey.
--- Anon
Your rosey with my ding-a-ling
Then you'll ring my hosey--
Will you use your posey
Or another orifice on my thing?
--- Anon
Would once again be going south,
To leave some lipstick
Around my thick prick.
Well here it is, I'll whip it out
--- Anon
From sundown until morning light.
Just one time around,
I've always found,
Ain't enough to finish me right.
--- Anon
Took a September-morn swim in the ocean.
When a whirlpool appeared,
She rose up and cheered,
And developed a rotary motion.
--- W S Baring-Gold
As a lover, well known as a leaper.
He sprang in the air
And lit with a flair,
Making entry much quicker and deeper.
--- Grand Prix Lim no num
Will charge ahead -- try to rush ya.
Don't! Go with the flow;
Pump steady and slow.
Girls will do their best just to hush ya.
--- Nik Synytskyy
Who attempted coition while juggling,
And today in my dreams,
I can still hear his screams
And his tormented cries and his struggling.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 P8711
Rotating's not easy to do.
The the next time you're in,
Attempt a half spin,
Her toes make your nose black and blue.
--- Irving Superior P8511
(Not the one that you know, quite contrary)
Said, "Right 'til the end,
My sexy young friend."
When asked if she kept stationary.
--- Cyber Wizard
But she has tricks you might not have seen.
She'll stand and she'll stay,
And if you twist the right way,
She can suck you right in 'till you cream!
--- Anon
And a girl who was lithe as a cat,
Decided that supple
Young people should couple
And exercise only like that.
--- Anon
My Madonna turns into my whore;
Licking cock, balls and ass,
Then to be really crass
We take turns plugging holes till we're sore.
--- Anon
Was horny as he lay on his bed.
His old wife said no,
As he slipped it in slow,
So he turned over and did her that way instead.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
But he's sure gotta do it my way.
Guys who bounce when they hump
Give me PIP in the rump,
And I'm pooped for the rest of the day!"
--- Grand Prix Lim no num