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Well, we left at a quarter past ten, It was his first trip to the city; There was a young man of high station, Mr Nation came home early and saw Dear Nancy, on children she dotes; For sleeping my wife wears a mask. She also wears it during sex, There was a young woman named Linda, Out behind the barn, spread in the hay, A renaissance man is old Rex There was a young woman from Paris, As he creamed my wife's cunt, the black said, The sad death of the wife of poor Bract A cutie...and if this doesn't swerve us! As Dame Eleanor came through the door, It seems Tom and Anne made a pact, Next day in the office, was found Tom's size we could therefore deduce; In the crags near the wild Mizen Head There was a young girl from the States, A potent libido still gnawed Ornithologist, Wilbur C. Glover, The king and the queen had a ball I know a young lass named Kay, A lot of good movies are wrecks Masters and Johnson profess We're watching a wacky new show; His wife sued for divorce, claiming Drew, At fair time, Miss Flora-Belle Lee, When dangerous Dan grabbed Belinda, Life is merry in old Monterey. A brother with no couth nor class! A circus stunt pilot named Dunway Sighed a steno named Rosemary Croom, Said a gentle old priest of Mount Balm: Aunt Mabel became quite a star; This porn star's name? I must pass! Though the invalid Saint of Brac, An ebullient fellow named Marty, We once met a couple named Morris, There was an old couple at play, An exuberant Westminster youth, (Should have been the 'G' spot - McW)
I went to a horse sale, a farce. There once was a young English student, There was an old man of Calcutta, I once knew a crazy Mohican, I went to a horse sale, a farce. Is this servant of yours a chauffeur? Charlie Chipmunk looked down from his tree A stodgy game warden named Dunn Through back alleys in Wuthering Heights I have a voluptuous auntie Ruthie peeked through the keyhole last night Dirruk, it seems wants to thank There once was a guy from Calcutta An inquisitive maid from Peru The churchyard contains ancient yews, One day while I'm parting her hair, The vicar it was. I most meek, He mounted her thus, from behind; He sure was enjoying this merger, So truly, we had a fine chain. Through a crack junior saw his folks wooing On vacation in East Ethiopia, Like cats out at night on a fence, Was chillin' one nite wit' da' boys' Wit' her legs opened real wide;
After tipping the waiter and then
As he opened the door,
He whispered, "Be sure
To take Tea at the Ritz once again."
--- Peter Wilkins
He was young and looking for titty.
He found a sex show
But you've got to know,
The dogs that were humping weren't pretty.
--- Anon
Who was found by a pious relation,
Making love in a ditch, (to a bitch)
To, I won't say a bitch, (In I won't say a ditch,)
But a lady of no reputation.(But terrane having no elevation
--- L0101
His wife and her stud on the floor.
He said, "Mrs Nation,
You're in clear violation
Of condo regulation twenty four."
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0503
Took in five of them, feeling her oats.
When her boyfriend came over,
She said, "Not now, Rover;
The kids will all watch and take notes."
--- Robert W Wenck A
"Why must you do that?" I ask.
To keep from my sight
All sources of light."
But not seeing me is its task.
--- Tom Myers
A wardrobe that's certain to vex,
Not only just me,
But all folks who see
The film at the porn CinepleXXX.
--- Tom Myers
Who did it in front of the winda.
The guys passing by
Would give her the eye,
But she didn't allow it to hinda.
--- Isaac Asimov
Farmer Fitt found his kid, Fanny May,
Diddled by the hired hand...
Said her pop, "Well, young man,
You can just take this lay for your pay!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 667
Adept at performing at sex;
Great pecker/height ratio,
Cunnilingus and fellatio,
Buggers ladies and a cowboy named Tex.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun
Whom nothing at all could embarrass.
So when screwing at night,
She would turn on the light
For the audience out on the terrace.
--- Isaac Asimov
"I could fuck this until she was dead!"
As he plugged up her trough,
I jerked myself off;
"If that's how you feel, go ahead!"
--- L0347
On trapeze was due just to one fact:
He could take no more pain,
For again and again,
He would catch the big girl in the act.
--- David A Brooks Q
...Tried selling sex, using curb service.
But so seldom a guy
Stopped to buy...you know why?
Those spectators make 'em so nervous!
--- Grand Prix Lim 510
Her chambermaid leaped from the floor,
Interrupting coition.
"What a curious position!"
Said the dame, "May I see it once more?"
--- John Ciardi
Despite that they might just get sacked;
In the copy room,
In the dark and the gloom,
They managed to Xerox "The Act!"
--- Frank Fazed
A report that was just nicely bound,
And on the front cover
Was Anne and her lover;
All copies were soon passed around.
--- Arden
Now he's subject to all our abuse.
The pictures don't lie;
Tom's hung like a fly;
Should have chosen "enlarge" not "reduce".
--- Arden
Sure the couples you'd swear they were wed.
They lose all their shame
And forget their good name,
For they think that the grass is the bed.
--- Linda Marsh Coll
Holds the record for number of mates.
Her name it is Lillian;
She's bedded a million
And ten thousand against her front gates.
--- Raymond Davies
The impotent gangster, who pawed
The girls of the house.
What delighted the louse
Was watching a stud fuck his broad.
--- A N Wilkins P9002
Saw a bird rare to fields of red clover.
The sight left him amazed
More than that, somewhat dazed:
The petite Rosy Breasted Pushover.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0010
And their antics were witnessed by all,
As they screwed in display,
In the midst of the day,
On top of the castle's north wall.
--- Cap'n Bean P0012
Who would roll with the boys in the hay.
As they fucked hard and long,
The cows would look on,
And it made the bull horny, they say!
--- Limberick
With censors rating them X.
See a man fuck a whore, (They show immoral acts)
Till his prick is all sore, (And distort many facts)
And not only that, they show sex!
--- Chairman Steve
All their work was for science, no less.
But if forced to say why
Without telling a lie,
"We like watchng them screw" they'd confess.
--- Fred Cohen P8503a
The contestants aren't in it for dough.
The way that it's played:
If you win you get laid.
They're calling it "Fucked If I Know!"
--- Chuck Davis P9408
Who had no balls at all, couldn't screw.
Through his lawyer, he said,
"Just bring in a bed
And he'd show the judge that he could too."
--- A N Wilkins P8701
Takes in city gents for a fee.
But she lets us homefolk,
Perch up in that oak,
By her window and watch the show -- free.
--- John Ciardi
And to the four-poster he pinned her,
The heat that ensued
As they screwed and they screwed,
Nearly burned his old man to a cinder.
--- Michael Horgan
When the duke woke up frisky today,
And had at her Grace,
She kept doubling the pace,
While the chambermaids shouted "Ole!"
--- John Ciardi
Content he's not, making a pass,
No, he has to scorch
Right there on the porch
So passers-by must see his ass!
--- Anon
Was fucking his girl on the runway.
He received commendation
And a standing ovation,
But he said that he knew only one way.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0124
This is file ybm
As the boss slipped his VROOM in her womb,
"Though I'm glad you enjoy me,
Next time you employ me,
Sent the other girls out of the room!"
--- Grand Prix Lim no num A
"I beseech you, dear brethren, keep calm!
If you must really choose
To make love in the pews,
Will you wait will we've finished this psalm?"
--- Robust Ribald Rude P9703
In her youth, she really went far.
A sweet little faun,
In films about porn;
We all saw her fucking a tar!
--- Archie
So many came to screw my ass.
Three times daily, my dears,
For forty five years,
Except Sundays when I went to Mass.
--- Aunt Mabel
Lay all of his life on his back,
His wife got her share,
And the pilgrims now stare
At the scene, in his shrine, on a plaque.
--- L0274
A raucous lad, rather a smarty,
Had screwed pretty Mabel
Right there on the table,
Which greatly enlivened the party.
--- Isaac Asimov
Who put on a circus show for us.
They took off their clothes
And hung by their toes
And fucked to the whole Anvil Chorus.
--- David Miller
Morning and night through the day.
The window is open.
A guest they are hopin'?
To watch or to join, they don't say.
--- Ginger
Laid his girl in a telephone booth.
When he pressed button "B", (When it swallowd his nickel)
She reacted with glee, (She dittoed his pickle)
Though onlookers termed it uncouth.
--- Arthur Deex G0822
I'll not go again there, because
A horse dealer's daughter,
I screwed; daddy caught her
And me, and he branded my arse.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Who did things that were very imprudent.
The things that I mean
Have not all been seen,
But we hope to at any odd mooment.
--- Johathan Munn
Who spied through a chink in the shutter.
But all he could see
Was his wife's bare knee,
And the bum of the bloke who was up her.
--- Pop Rivet
Who got all his jollies from peekin'.
He liked to watch bears
Carry on their affairs,
And the rooster seducing the chicken.
--- G1286
I'll not go again there becarse
A horse dealer's daughter
I screwed; daddy caught her
And me, and he branded my arse.
Or possibly your personal masseur?
Is he in the cupboard often
To watch you when boffin'?
(I didn't know we were being voyeured.)
--- Anon
At the young boy and girl on a spree,
And sighed, "But for size
And position, those guys
Get their kicks from the same tricks as me!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 15
Nabbed a pair at the height of their fun.
He caught them bare-ass
Out in the tall grass,
In the wrong season for shooting a gun.
--- G0575
I sneak around peeping, at nights.
To most windows I creep,
I find folks fast asleep,
But I sure see some fine pillow-fights.
--- Grand Prix Lim 977 G2563
Whose manner is usually jaunty,
Except for the day
Uncle Joe was away,
And I caught her in delicto flagrante!
--- Macsam
And saw by the dawn's early light
Her spouse as he laid
Their new parlor maid...
And wet her pink pants at the sight!
--- Grand Prix Lim 370
Lady Mandy, his young widow Twank,
For the hole in the wall
That lets him see all
And helps him along with a wank.
--- Donald McGill
Who peeped through a hole in a shutter,
But all he could see
Was a young ladies knee,
And the bum of the bloke who was up her.
--- Pop Rivet
Used to wonder what young couples do.
So she spied through a keyhole,
Where she saw a girl's pee-hole
Being rammed, and said, "I'd like some too."
--- G1548aP
Whereunder, when tanked up on booze,
I'd take Mary Ellen,
And proffer my swellin',
An offer she'd never refuse.
--- Anon
A voice came; it hollered "Hey there.
You two randy sods.
This garden is God's,
And he taught the people to share."
--- Anon
Arose, gazed at him most oblique.
He strode 'cross the sward,
And yelled "Praise the Lord,
Please girl, turn your other fair cheek."
--- Anon
A practice that she didn't mind.
And kneeling, she sucked
My cock while he fucked,
Enjoying his passionate grind.
--- Anon
And claiming: of sin he would purge 'er;
When who should appear
To poke him in the rear,
But the dirty old boy-loving verger.
--- Anon
We carried on time and again,
And ended in spasms
Of monstrous orgasms,
While the bells chimed a merry refrain.
--- Anon
And murmured, "Whatever they're doing
I don't quite understand,
But it sound like it's grand
And I know it makes interesting viewing!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 295
An uncle of Auntie Matopia,
Like a bee often does,
Took a buzz at her fuzz;
When discovered, he murmured, "Myopia".
--- Anon
Our newlywed neighbors they yentz.
With the light on upstairs,
They have rare sex affairs,
And the view from our attic's immense!
--- Grand Prix Lim 737 G0586
When in da' room we herd a noise!
All of us brutha's was spooked
So's we jumped ta' git looked!
We peeps at sis using her toys!
--- Anon
She had da' toy deep inside.
The sound from her mouf'
It fill da' whole house,
Dat da' brutha's an' I tauht she'd died.
--- Anon
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