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To test whether species of flowers You may be, dear, too optimistic, I may be too naive and young, Well now, that story's so sad! "The incontinent cat's been 'round here; "This room I will have to vacate, When 'Arrested Again' was reported, At least Bob Downey didn't forge They say he's paid plenty of fines "Too long have I dillied and dallied; His girlfriend thought that rather follied, "If the problem's concerning my dingus, The Magi together conferred "But surely we must recompense "You wise guys have come very far," Tom gazed at his daughter's appearing But she flinched when her father appeared, She screamed and she yelled in his ears, Tom's daughter began her slow grind, A colonial girl, sweet and sainted, An imperialistic Ms, sweet and couth, An Apache who lived in a hogan Any Apache who had half a life Advice from a spinster named Crowe, Confronted by trousers agape, There was an old maid of Hoboken, An old time Egyptian named Tut, My father (now dead) was so cool. When the great Genghis conquered new land, There once was a man from the Cape, In Roma the lexis for rapis A man from Cape Breton we find Said a ruined old roue of Barnstable, To victim says rapist, pants down, Though most men at his age still alive (Thomas Parr was supposed to have lived over 140 years)
There was a young lady of Waste John Leslie is handsome and cute, It seems that some tart called Ulrika Said assault expert Anna K. Brown A wild-eyed young whore from the Cape There was a poor victim named Tabor, Said lawyers for client Bill Little, A certain young cad named Maloney The boss screwed the neighborhood whore From duty we cannot escape They have simplified law for the gentry A comely young coed named Crassar Said a certain young woman named Valerie There was a young lady named Sentry In the library, stuffy Miss Boyes My uncle bought me a Mustang, The most depraved person is Hurst, There was a young wee Irish lass, To choose is a basic-held freedom "Sam, are you sure I should plead There was a tan miss from Zambezi, I'd never hope for something horrid To the lawyer, lady named Newsome The girl that was caught by Akeem There was an Old Man of Bohemia, A simple old lady named Jane A horrified girlie named Greep Now we all know the town Aberystwyth Woe is poor Sister Patricia, While most any female may be rapeable, A randy young fellow named Mark,
Incorporate magical powers,
Compile their predictions
And count contradictions
'Tween loves-me-not and affairs gone sour.
--- Travis Brasell
Considering the problem logistic.
This statement compleete
Show the depths of deceit:
There's lies, damned lies, and statistics.
--- Tiddy Ogg
But didn't this Tom have a tongue?
And fingers-of-three
Have never failed me,
Despite being rather well hung.
--- Cubmeister
But I don't want you to feel so bad.
You should keep your hands
Away from the glands
Of Sis Chris, my pinky-less lad.
--- Ericka
I smell the sharp scent of urea.
He's scratched and he's dug
And he's pissed on the rug,"
Said Tom Swift with onomatopeia.
--- Tiddy Ogg
For the smell will take time to abate,
With the stench of the urine,
From that stinking feline,"
Said Tom Swift with censure innate.
--- Murphy
He had grimaced, his visage distorted,
"Those cops were a joke,
'Cause I've stopped using coke!",
The actor Rob Downey had snorted.
--- Anon
His way to the top and engorge
His ego at cost
Of freedoms dear, lost
Like nearly tongue-tied "Snortin' George." (see Dubya)
--- Cyber Wizard
And too often in lockup reclines.
But they're forced to admit,
Though he staggers a bit,
He's never forgotten his lines.
--- Cyber Wizard
It's time that my courage I've rallied;
I'm going away
And getting me a
Sex-change operation," Tom sallied.
--- Hugh Clary
'Cause his pecker 'giant' kept her jollied.
So she raised, in protest
Her voice 'gainst the cut-fest,
"What's with me if you should become dollied?"
--- Ulla
The pleasures of love will still bring us
Together," said Tom,
With unshaken aplomb,
"For I've taken the name, Connie Lingus."
--- Hugh Clary
And decided their loins they would gird.
"This sweet cicily's old,
So wouldn't just gold
And frankencense do," they demurred.
--- Hugh Clary
The child or we may cause offence.
You two are so sad,
And now I'm getting mad,
You're skinflints," thus cried Frank incensed.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Said Joseph, "By following a star;
We sure like these presents
You've brought to us peasants;
We hope you will bring us some myrrh!
--- Travis Brasell
On stage to strip, with eyes tearing.
He wept as his cock
Got hard as a rock,
And was proud how he'd done her uprearing.
--- Travis Brasell
With a glint in his eye that she feared.
Nervously she bared all,
With her back to the wall,
'Cause she hated the way she'd been reared.
--- An Admirer
"You've owed my allowance for years!"
Though it was an affront
To pay the young cunt,
He paid her in full in arrears.
--- Brian Belge
Then heard him say, "I'm in a bind,
I need money bad!"
Said she, "Too bad, dad!
Like always, you'll come from behind!"
--- Travis Brasell
Was by war-striped young Indians tainted.
Later, asked of the ravages,
She said of the savages,
"They aren't as bad as they're painted."
--- Isaac Asimov P9510
Was by body-painted aboriginal youth,
Gang banged, though when queried,
She remarked, "I am worried
Their self-esteem suffered since I was aloof."
--- Arthur Deex P9510
Enjoyed making love to his brogan.
His friends did deride
But he had his pride;
A curt "Fuck Shoe" became his slogan.
--- Puff Adder
Was pillaging and wielding his knife.
They'd take lots of loot,
But ne'er screw a boot;
They'd bugger the sodbuster's wife.
--- Hungarian
Be wary of places you go.
Since man, you will find,
Has rape on his mind,
And it's best to be raped by a pro.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1329
And having no chance to escape,
Still Juanita refused,
But was bitten and bruised
By a guy who draws blood while he rapes.
--- Anon
Who sued an attacker outspoken,
Who had threatened to rape her,
But robbed and escaped her;
Hence his verbal agreement was broken.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1351
Would lure young lads to his hut.
Hit 'em on the head
And flip them on the bed,
And give it to them in the butt!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
When told I'd had sex at my school,
For the very first time
And only a dime!
Till told "It's Headmaster Raoul!"
--- David Miller
His troops would kill off every man.
Then he'd give all the women
A dose of Khan semen,
So now we're all part of the clan.
Who one day committed a rape.
She said, "You dumb shit,
You can't fuck a bit;
And you're beating my box out of shape."
--- Christopher Powles
Is sternum -- instantus castratus.
If rapor a dum-dum,
And rapos secundum,
Organum then decapitatus.
--- Irving Superior P8111
Who is honored as one of a kind,
Since he saved on the Cape
A young maiden from rape --
He undressed her but then changed his mind.
--- Hugh Oliver 24b
"I believe it entirely demonstrable
That no matter how shaped,
Any girl can be raped,
Provided you deal with a constable."
--- Conrad Aiken
This is file xml
"Don't stop me from going to town;
Common sense suggests, Molly,
That resistance spells folly.
Relax while I puncture your noun."
--- Armand Singer
Have lost all of their sexual drive,
Thomas Parr in a scrape
Was convicted of rape
When he was at least ninety-five.
--- A N Wilkins P8507
Who fled from a man in great haste.
She fell as she fled
And addled her head--
Sometimes she still dreams that she's chaste.
--- Archie
Not being a guilty sex brute.
But now he's confused me,
'Cause his hand was not the
Appendage what's been in dispute.
--- Anon
Had claimed that he'd forced in his dicka,
To help sell her book.
He's cleared, but it took
Some time; she deserves a good kicka.
--- Anon
(Her expression half chuckle, half frown):
"The rape rate depends
On how one defends --
You run faster skirts up than pants down."
--- Armand E Singer 391
Had a customer up and escape
Without shucking out money.
"Man," she cried, "It ain't funny...
That's what you call financial rape!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 196
Repeatedly raped by a neighbor,
But as hell hath no fury
Like an all-female jury,
He drew thirty years at hard labor.
--- Armand E Singer 982
"He's innocent - grant an acquittal;
His prick's in no shape
To pull off a rape;
It's fragile as fresh peanut brittle."
--- Armand Singer
Committed an act of feloni-
ous nature or worse;
He raped his kid's nurse,
And that, my friends, is no baloney.
--- Armand Singer
In back of the store on the floor.
She sued him for rape;
He did not escape.
That whore now owns more than the store.
--- Travis Brasell
And TV our children must shape.
But all that the boobs
Get, in front of the tubes,
Are some courses in violence and rape.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2562
Who want everything elementary.
Now rape's an offense
That makes much better sense:
It's a subclass of illegal entry.
--- Norm Storer P9706a
Was raped twice a day while at Vassar.
She hoped to get peace,
But attacks did increase,
When she levied a fine for trespasser.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0098
When raped in the National Gallery,
"Oh, well, it's my fate,
But at least I lost weight,
Now for lunch I can add one more Calorie."
--- Isaac Asimov P9803
Who claimed to be raped by some gentry.
But the judge said, "Dismissed!"
When he looked where she pissed,
And saw no signs of forcible entry.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 G0753
Was raped, but she maintained her poise.
Though her arms waved about
There was nary a shout --
She respected the rule against noise.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0056
To troll, with my pals, for poontang.
We got us some pie,
But "Gang Rape!" they cry.
So now I'm thirteenth on the chain gang.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Whose deeds are among the world's worst.
He once screwed a nun
At the point of a gun
To see which of the three went off first.
--- David Miller
Fell asleep in the meadow after mass.
She woke up and discovered
She was naked but covered,
By a very large man in the grass.
--- FCA
For girls to decide just who'll breed 'em.
But during a rape
Some girls will just gape,
Lie passive, play deaf, and be dumb.
--- Tucker D Ott P8910
'Not guilty?' I thought we agreed
Since they caught me on tape
But aren't yet yelling 'rape',
A plea bargain was more what I need?"
--- Anon
Whose twat was capacious and cheesy.
She was always in scrapes
From perpetual rapes:
Like all girls, she raped pretty easy.
--- G1730
From some sweaty pig with face florid.
Rape's not about fun,
No way that it's done.
I'd rather a love affair torrid.
--- Anon
Gave the facts on her rape by a twosome.
Said the lawyer, "'Nough said,
Let us both go to bed,
And review all the details so gruesome."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2208
Was threatened with rape, but her theme
Gave him cause for dispair
For she said, "I declare,
If you badly perform, I will scream!"
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1924
Whose daughter was christened Euphemia;
But one day to his grief,
She was raped by a thief --
A side to his life quite seamier.
--- Edwardian Leer 025
Was ravished and beat with a cane.
She recovered at length
And regained all her strength,
And she searched for the same man in vain.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2131
Found she had been raped while asleep.
Cried she, "The rape's frightful,
Copulations's delightful!
And to miss it, asleep, makes me weep!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 927
And that infamous mill to make grist with;
But when the miller's son Jack
Threw her flat on her back,
She sure should'a used force to resist with.
--- Armand Singer P0209
Alone with the Shiite Militia.
Through gaps in her burqa,
They constantly furqa
Most intimate feminine fissure.
--- Peter Wilkins
The fact still remains, inescapable,
If you rule out the bags,
And the broken down hags,
It leaves such a small percent capable.
--- Grand Prix Lim 893
Nabbed for statutory rape in the park,
Was heard to exclaim
When his day in court came,
"A statue? Oh well, it was dark!"
--- Karen B
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