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A cocky young man from Toledo Some swim suits are quite a disgrace. Sixteen, in bikini, behold her! For swimwear, I live by this credo: There was a young girl in Havana A bird-watcher down on Par Sands Her wee NATATORIAL suit I look forward to summer; It's grand! Campbellford's know for its river. A girl on the beach with face sweet; There once was a man from Toledo, As the World Monarch, one of my creedos There was a young girl called Elyse; I once wore my jock to the beach At fashionable beach resort, LIDO, A dashing young lady named Hood She was a beauty -- and photogenic, Arnie strolled on the beach near the bay, There once was a guy from Toledo Damn Speedos turn certain parts bluish, I really don't like public pools As for my part, Heaven just knows I just love the surf and the sun; She lay prone in the tropical sun; Her shorts were a string with protection, Poor Alice hadn't a thing Flamingoes, storks, hooded cranes, each, The top of bikini is teeny; A voluptuous young chick from Umhlanga I confess I did ogle the maids That modest young lady, Yvette, Beautiful Julie McFeeney On the beach, a young girl of New York, In a bikini from old Martinique, There she swam in the sea of monsoons, I sit at the bathing suit shop, I'm outside the store called Wet Seal My local says there's nothing wrong Susie loves sunny days at the seaside, The guys all beware of romance There was a young lady named Jeanie If mom wore, at 16, a bikini, Bikinis bestow, at their best Of swimming things NATATORIAL, A lady named Renee McFeeny As they lay in the sun at Chennini, The chief delectation of summer She lies on the slab sans bikini; That ancient hag in her bikini Beneath her black shirt, a bikini On beaches, I ogle the string A bonny young girl name of Heather I will start with a delicate cough, On the beach I confess stupefaction A financial expert named Klein A sheeny young Genie named Sweeney That opera diva's bikini That soccer mom in her bikini Just look at that girl's red bikini! Among the social indiscreets: Your stylist is just an old meanie Until last year I loved my linguini, She barely holds up her bikini; When Janet took off her bikini, That college gal in her bikini My anorak was Idid Amin's; There once was a man from France
Was embarrassed by his lengthy torpedo.
Gym shorts -- implausible!
Biker's -- impossible!
And don't even mention a speedo!
--- Stiffy Joe
One can hardly remember a face.
Nearly everything's bare;
(As much as they dare)
And imagining's quite commonplace.
--- Limericks Naughty & Gay
She posed for her mother, who told her,
"You look very cute,
But if I'd worn that suit
At your age, you'd be five years older."
--- Jerry Nordal P0410
I'll not wear a thong or a speedo.
Because if girls saw me,
They'd all want to paw me;
I don't want to make them stampedo!
--- Travis Brasell
Who wore only a yellow bandana.
It would just barely hide
Either breasts or backside,
So she looked like a half peeled banana.
--- Lims For The EruditeP0205
Was confused and could not understand,
How the birds he was spottin'
Could get such a lot in
A bathing suit made of two strands!
--- Cornish Times contest '97
Was noticed by male friend astute;
It barely covered
The spots that he'd lovered
And left him with yearnings acute.
--- Chris Papa
With the ocean, the sun and the sand,
And toothsome young lasses
With nearly bare asses;
I bet that I get some, off hand.
--- John Miller 0254
"The" restaurant serves only liver.
But boy, are they sweet,
The girls that you meet;
Those tiny red thongs make me quiver.
--- Dudesdead
I watch as she makes her retreat.
When viewed from the rear,
It's perfectly clear
That thongs should be on a girl's feet.
--- Ron Sartain
Who came to the beach in tuxedo.
He got on the sand,
Then stripped it off and
Realized that he'd left off his speedo.
--- Jon Gearhart
In Ohio, Spain, both Toledos,
"Obese men are shot dead
With one round in the head
For appearing in public in Speedos."
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9808
On the beach always wore a one-piece.
With a figure like hers,
She drew whistles and purrs,
And brought many young men to their knees.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
(With nowt but my boots -- foot in each,)
Where, at a convention
For 'Hanging Prevention,'
I gave a long, helluva speech.
--- Anon
It seems to be gigolo credo
To convince each Miss
Of what she would miss,
If he's not soon out of his Speedo.
--- Daniel Ford
Wore a bathing suit made out of wood;
But the sun was too hot
It burnt the darn lot,
I was there, jolly good, jolly good!
--- Benny Hill
To men she was pyrogenic.
When out on a shoot
For a new bathing suit,
She was an attraction most scenic.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
Enthralled by nature's display.
Blue water, white sand,
On the beautiful strand,
And the practically bare T and A.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0411
Who strained as he put on his speedo.
He finally suceeded,
But later conceded,
"The damn thing, it kills my libido!"
--- Anon
Especially if tight and quite newish.
To make things worse yet,
Once they are all wet,
The white ones will show if you're Jewish.
--- Frank Fazed a
With perving against all the rules.
For every hot lass,
Five blokes will walk past,
With speedos shrink-wrapping their jewels.
--- Loz
I love seeing guys in Speedos.
Wouldn't mind indulging
In what ever is bulging,
Delighting in whatever grows.
--- Ardens
The beach offers all kinds of fun.
And guys wearing Speedos
Improve our libidos --
Summer's hot, in more ways than one!
--- Kaylin Brandon
Her green bathing suit covered one bun.
When the other turned red,
The wry lady said,
"Call me traffic light butt, just for fun."
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0508
Her halter escaped my detection,
And she thought it cute
That so small a suit
Should give rise to so huge an erection.
--- Laurence Perrine P8303
To wear to the beach in the spring.
She went in and swam
Wearing only a yam,
And two Dixie cups and a string.
--- Anon
Has elegant vertical reach.
But none has the beauty
Of a swimsuit-clad cutie,
The long-legged bird on the beach.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Far more modest is the TANKINI.
My advice on this matter
Is to wear the latter,
If your bust looks like a pair of blini. (Russian pancakes)
--- Norm Brust
Went down to the beach in a thong-a.
She emerged from the waves
To whistles and raves --
Her thonga was upon her no longer.
--- Gill Parker
And eventually removed my shades
When I saw their beachwear
Designed by Claude Pierre
Was three Band-Aids in soft pastel shades.
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9703
Is the belle of the sunbathing set;
And her suit has been made--
So her charms are displayed--
Of three beads and a square foot of net.
--- Prob Henry Miller P9701
Hit the beach in a skinny bikini.
It was terribly small,
Almost nothing at all,
And it just barely hid his small weenie.
--- MrMalo
Wore a swim suit that made mens' necks torque.
Though to call it a suit
Is a point that is moot,
Being just two Band Aids and a cork.
--- Don Moore P9703a
This is file wzm
At the beach she looked really chic.
But after her swim,
It was hard to be prim
'Cause her suit had lost it's mystique.
--- Anon
Being laughed and applauded by goons,
For the tides threw a twist
On the waters they kissed,
And the earth had acquired two moons.
--- Anon
Where the suits are a hundred a pop.
They look really nice.
I'd go for the price,
But they want sixty more for the top.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0505
The signs say they give a good deal.
Busty models they show,
But how's one to know,
If the signs or the bosoms are real
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0505
With barwomen wearing a thong,
Though they would look cute
Inside a swimsuit,
The beer wouldn't taste quite so strong
--- Anon
Where her clothing's a touch on the wee side.
And a short clinging frock
Needs no key to unlock,
All the eyes on the guys on the quayside.
--- Val Burns P0608
With a young secretary named Nance.
They're afraid her Bikini
Will sizzle their weenie,
'Cause she's said to have very hot pants.
--- Pierce Evans
Who wore an outrageous bikini;
Two wisps light as air,
One her and one there,
With nothing but Jeanie betweenie.
--- Ogden Nash P9404
Then at 17 she'd have had a bambini
Who'd now be 21.
And mom, full of fun,
Must be twenty-one plus seventeeny.
--- Arthur Deex P0410
Additional shape to the chest.
But sometimes they hide
So little divide,
Their wearer's at risk of arrest.
--- Nick
That bikini is not too sartorial.
Fabric skimpingly
Suits me swimmingly,
From my perch, a limb arboreal.
--- Daniel Ford
Bought, at a sale, a bikini.
But immersed in the sea,
It shrunk ever so wee,
And revealed what it shouldn't of Renee.
--- Mary Danby Armada 1
He said, "Surely a garment so teeny
And foreign to Venus
Should not come between us?
So why not remove your bikini?"
--- Harold C Bibby P9
Is that clothing becomes minimummer
And my wife's derriere
Is bikinied or bare;
Tights ensphering her rear don't become her.
--- Don Barnard
Not even her clogs or a beanie.
Where I'll give the old hag
Just one final shag,
While I picture her granddaughter, Jeannie.
--- John Miller
Droops down like well-cooked fettucini.
Were we to entwine,
I'd need more than wine;
"Hey waiter, a double martini!"
--- Randog
Is worn by a girl from Orsini.
Because she's a fasc-
Ist, when her pink gash
Is filled, she cries, "Oh Mussolini!"
--- Randog
Bikinis, while loving the swing
Of boobies and buns.
But the best are the ones
That allow me to see the hole thing.
--- Hugh Clary
Wears tiny bikinis of leather;
In fact she wears barely
Naught else and then rarely
The top and the nether together.
--- Anon
And then a polite little scoff.
'Cause in waves one day
As I was swam away,
My bikini just fell right off!
--- Anon
At watching bikinis in action,
And I cannot be told
By the young or the old,
That the ocean's the major attraction.
--- Limber Limericks
Seeks out certain cute girls by design.
Each girl in a bikini,
Is where he plants his weenie.
He was trained to watch the bottom line.
--- Tom Patton P0408
Once invented a magic bikini
For seduction, I'm told,
But the idea was old,
First thought of by Harry Houdini.
--- Limericks Naughty & Gay
Burst open while she sang Puccini.
The big breath she took
Sheared off the top hook,
And out spilled the breasts of this queenie.
--- Randog
Is aged to perfection. This Jeannie
When out of the bottle,
With hands on my throttle,
Brings thrills that out-do Lamborghini.
--- Randog
Her waist is so perfect and teenie.
I love how it sits
On her hipses and tits.
All I need now's a dry gin martini.
--- Anon
Bikini's holding just half the teats.
And wisps of hair
From the bottom-wear,
And threadbare where the cheek/cheek meets.
--- Irving Superior P9804
For shaping your locks like a 'beanie'.
But when you go swim,
Your cute little quim
Will flatter your teeny bikini.
--- Travis Brasell
More that fitting into my bikini.
Diet's caused a decrease;
Now I wear a two piece;
True bikinis are too teeny-weeny.
--- Jenni Saqua
Her breasts and her hips are too teeny.
But soon she'll inflate;
I'll watch and I'll wait
Till she's ready for roasting my weenie.
--- John Miller
I saw that her titties were teeny.
But still I inflated
When she blithely stated,
"Come wield your baton, Toscanini!"
--- Randog
Prompts growth to my pocket zucchini.
Her curves so bewitching
Cause plenty of twitching,
Then coax hot wads from my stiff weenie.
--- Randog
My corset was H.M. the Queen's.
My large wonderbra
Once belonged to the Shah,
And these are Bill Clinton's jeans.
--- Bill Wall
Who liked to take off his pants.
He pulled down his shorts
And showed all his warts,
And that's when we saw all the ants.
--- Lims For Year - 01
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