Though I walked around town endless blocks,
And searched haberdashery stocks,
I couldn't find any stuff
To make a ball muff,
And nothing like sweaters for cocks.
--- G2261

It was style in men's clothing, my friends,
That sank poor Bob Dole with its trends.
When Hanes asked would-be chiefs
"You wear boxers or briefs?"
Bob replied, with a long pause, "Depends."
--- Vassar Smith P9611a

The boxer, for me, is the thing,
Although, truth be said, a large sling
Would give me more traction
And tone down the action,
When running a race makes them swing.
--- Anon

That said, I prefer all the room.
My fruit, unincumbered, may loom
At semi-attention
And garner a mention,
Whenever full stiffie doth bloom.
--- Anon

A jockey-brief wearer was grumpy,
Each time that he felt a bit humpy;
Briefs fit to perfection.
But sudden erection
Would make them appear rather lumpy.
--- Ann Gasser P8803

A FBI agent named Fox
Has learned to take many hard knocks.
"For protection," he said.
"Against unwanted lead,
I've a wardrobe of bulletproof jocks."
--- Michael Weinstein P8802

When one wants to purchase a teddy,
One really must get oneself ready.
A fluff of the hair,
Up here and down there,
And perhaps a quick fling with my Freddie.
--- Boy Pilot

A stylish fellow named Vince
Had jockey shorts made of fine chintz.
He went for an exam,
And the doctor said, "Damn!
You must, now and then, give them a rinse."
--- Bob Giandomenico P0308

Said Mama Hussein, broken hearted,
As into his hole Saddam darted,
"Wear clean undies today.
When you're caught, you can say,
"My undies were clean when I started!"
--- Arnie Schoenbrun

At a dance, a young girl from Connecticut
Showed an absolute absence of etiquette,
Letting all comers press
Through the skirt of her dress,
And wiping the mess with her petticoat.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Neither boxers nor briefs do I wear
For they simply don't give enough air.
I leave my cock dangling
And my balls, a jangling;
Free also is my derriere.
--- Anon

No matter the size of my erection,
One can't be sure, 'cept by inspection.
It scoots 'round my waist,
And should it leak paste --
They're absorbent in any direction!
--- Anon

"I've a fetish for jockstraps," Miss Nunn
Told her brother, "I must have a ton.
On the other hand, Paul,
I have no use at all
For the putzes that go inside one."
--- Michael Weinstein P8708

When corsets were squeezingly laced
And feminine buttocks were graced
With prominent bustles
And ladies had muscles,
The buxom were chased and embraced.
--- R J Winkler P8405

Although it's not easy to feature
Lingerie that's endorsed by a preacher,
The adman was brash
And produced enough cash
To do business with Henry Ward Beecher.
--- A N Wilkins P8802

Once a pretty young woman named Marjorie,
Having dinner with a potagerie,
Had soup-stained her dress,
And without much distress,
Took it off, and ate on in her lingerie.

(potagerie - garden vegetables and herbs)
--- Isaac Asimov

Bugs went down to Milli Pede's house and
Removed her long skirt and her blouse and
Then five hundred pair
Of silk underwear
And stockings which numbered a thousand.
--- Travis Brasell

Two boys ran far far away;
I guess they had wanted to play,
Soccer or hockey.
They both had on jockeys,
I forget what I wanted to say...
--- Anon

Psychotic Suzanne, a real dip,
Found group session swinging a pip.
After balling them all,
Plus the shrink, name of Paul,
She put on her Freudian slip!
--- John Dohner P8802

A lewd and libidinous quip
On a T-shirt can really be hip.
But what truly is great,
Is to find on a date
That she's wearing a Freudian slip.
--- Don Moore

My cock's getting hard as a rock
As I dream of you wearing that frock,
Which covers so little
On back, front, and middle;
Oh, damn! I just shattered my jock!
--- Anon

There was a pure lady of Stame
Who resolved to live quite free of blame.
She wore four pairs of drawers,
And of petticoats scores,
But was fucked in the end just the same.
--- G2520

Found boxers to be such a drag on,
And briefs, e'er so tight, were a nag on;
So neither I wear,
Just leave my cock bare,
And carry it in a large wagon!
--- Anon

When there's proof that I'm losing my hair,
And the kids rush to get me a chair,
I'll never admit
That my plumbing has quit,
But I did buy some long underwear.
--- Al Willis

She looked at her suitor askance,
"You said you'd get into my pants.
If I knew you meant wear
I'd have bought you a pair
And take off my bra you old nance."
--- Arnie P0110

She's just donned her black lace and hose,
And it's off to the church house she goes.
The dress is quite proper,
But that doesn't stop her.
What's under, just God and her knows.
--- Robyn

It's really a bit of a shit
Finding nether-type garments to fit
Me, which don't show unduly
My member unruly,
Or fail to contain it and split.
--- Anon

I once strapped it down to my thigh
And it worked 'til a young gal came nigh.
Then it grew like a tree;
I could not bend my knee,
But could only just hobble on by.
--- Anon

When the quarterback called it all crap,
The incident cause quite a flap.
Since the Mses got cheers
When burned their brassieres,
He proceeded to burn his jock strap.
--- A N Wilkins P8802

Jockey shorts should never be brown.
You should check them each time they go down.
Great Satan detests you,
So if they arrest you,
You'll look good in the final showdown.
--- Tom Patton

All hail to the fellow named Trent,
Invented the Jockey Short vent.
And now dusk to dawn
Trent's now working on
A vent for a left handed gent.
--- Irving Superior P8802

There's nothing as fine as a tighty.
They come in chartreuse, black, or whitey.
At three sizes small,
In schoolyard and hall,
They camouflage long, stout, and mighty.
--- Anon

For my job I was set an assignment:
"What's best for excitement confinement?"
I tried out the rest,
But I find that the best
Ones are briefs with the proper alignment.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

This is file wym

I also tried nothing at all
Which resulted in "tenting" appall-
ing whenever my thoughts
Turned to genital sports.
(But I guess it's OK if you're small.)
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Would you like to donate me yours?
I keep them quite neatly in drawers.
I would keep it clean
And not sew with green
To one of the heads with loud snores.

A lovely young damsel, Miss Twitting,
Athletic supporters keeps knitting,
Then gives them away
In hopes that one day
Her hero comes in for a fitting.
--- Irving Superior P8802

There's a prudish and foolish Miss Blair
Who swore never to ever be bare.
On each Saturday night,
She sure made quite a sight,
While bathing in long underwear.
--- Tom Patton P0609

A handsome young fellow named Vance
Was a popular man at the dance;
With his underwear nil,
All the girls got a thrill
When his testicles swayed in his pants.
--- Cap'n Bean P0501

A cast iron stomach has Krantz,
Discovered this fact quite by chance.
While putting away
His laundry one day,
He noticed some rust in his pants.
--- Irving Superior P8802

A thoughtful young fellow named Wright
Bought his wife a long nightgown of white.
It was fur-trimmed below
Which was quite apropos
For keeping her neck warm at night.
--- Bob Giandomenico P8802

Steven had a pair of pajamas
That were made from the hair of the llamas;
But their feminine air
Made his friends all declare,
They were made from a pair of his mama's!
--- Larry Wilde

I'm sleeping sans jammies again;
It's awkward this time of year when
The night is too hot.
By morning it's not,
So I put my jammies on then.
--- Marlene Lewis

Let us outlaw the panty girdle,
The world's most time consuming hurdle.
Before we gain access
'Twixt the strain and the stress,
Our lubricating liquids curdle.
--- Irving Superior P8802

A pickpocket once picked a pair
Of shorts, to relieve of their wares.
His hand slipped inside,
But he jumped back and cried,
"My God! Something's growing in there!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection

On Sunday, the Reverend Lynching
At the alter was squirming and flinching;
It was not due to stress
Or to nervous duress,
But the Fruit-Of_the-Looms that were pinching.
--- Cap'n Bean P0202

A western professor of drama
Had freshmen withdrawing in trauma.
Though his lessons were fraught
With tough, critical thought,
He taught in a hot pink pajama.
--- Roger Houston

There was a Maine cleric named Meyer
Who was seized with a carnal desire.
And his passionate snorts
Were the parish priest's shorts
That hung up to dry by the fire.
--- Larry Wilde

There was a brave girl of Connecticut,
Who signaled her train with her petticut,
Which the papers defined
As presence of mind,
But deplorable absence of etticut.
--- Ogden Nash

Sir, that fine Mr. Wilkins
Once told me he wore only silk 'uns;
To slide in and out,
So smoothly, without
A drop of it lost when he's milkin'.
--- Anon

A snobby old monarch, named Rex,
Wore under his ermine, spandex.
"I don't feel just right
Unless things are tight,
When really well hung below decks."
--- Anon

Between massive thighs and below hips,
The ladies look on when he strips.
And those who were bold
Would clamour to hold
The cargo he carried 'midships.
--- Anon

I guess he's not really a king --
He's more of an admiral-thing.
But we call him sire
Because we admire
What's held up by his anchor-ring.
--- Anon

There was an old man from Sausalito,
Who liked to run 'round in his Speedo.
It slid up his crack,
And pinched his nut-sack,
Made him jump around like Chester-Cheeto!
--- Anon

In my boyhood town of Mobile,
A man like this was for real.
He sold for a snack
His nuts in a sack,
Then would dance on the street for a bill.
--- Anon

My message to a very nice girl;
My laundry slave, her name is Shirl.
No need to bicker
When washing my knickers,
Just beware the stain colored pearl.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

When engaging in labor disputes,
We called on our cutest recruits.
Their method was striking
And quite to my liking.
They sued in their old union suits.
--- Laurence Perrine P8610

You found someone wearing my undies?
They've been missing for several Sundays.
I have not been baring
My butt -- I've been wearing
My new next-door neighbor, Ted Bundy's.

(Ted Bundy - infamous serial killer in U.S. 1980's)
--- Marlene Lewis

The sex show was the usual fare;
The Chicken and Donkey were there.
A Yak in a girdle
A Raccoon fucked a turtle,
And the Hippo in thong underwear.
--- John Chastaine

Said a six foot beauty named Sharon,
"I hate clothes made by Donna Karan.
They're made too small
For girls this tall,
So they show the underwear I'm wearin'."
--- Thomas M Patton P9704

Poor Chuck had his underpants twisted.
"I can't whang it out", he insisted.
He struggled in vain
In the loo under strain,
'Til exhausted, he tearfully piss it.
--- Anon

The Confederate, Lee, resolute,
And resplendent from cap down to boot,
Would have been quite distressed
To hear someone, in jest,
Say that he wore an ugly union suit.
--- J Maynard Kaplan

The last B.V.D. union report
Was recently filed in the court.
They were very astute,
Bringing a union suit,
But in the end came up a bit short.
--- Tom Patton P0411

To shop at Victoria's a must;
It leaves other stores in the dust.
She has sexy lingerie
To wear night or day,
And bras that will enlarge a bust.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0406

Victorian men were quite staid,
And Victorian ladies were stayed,
But undoing laces
In suitable places,
Permitted a pair to get laid.
--- John E. Mayhood P0504

Last heard from Sexy Vic:
When she visited one Nick,
The guys all arose
When she lost her clothes,
And found a 'finger' to lick.
--- Anon

There once was that sexy Victoria
Whose 'secrets' created euphoria.
When she thus revealed,
The gals unconcealed
Look better from Perth to Peoria.
--- Anon