Though I walked around town endless blocks, It was style in men's clothing, my friends, The boxer, for me, is the thing, That said, I prefer all the room. A jockey-brief wearer was grumpy, A FBI agent named Fox When one wants to purchase a teddy, A stylish fellow named Vince Said Mama Hussein, broken hearted, At a dance, a young girl from Connecticut Neither boxers nor briefs do I wear No matter the size of my erection, "I've a fetish for jockstraps," Miss Nunn When corsets were squeezingly laced Although it's not easy to feature Once a pretty young woman named Marjorie, (potagerie - garden vegetables and herbs)
Bugs went down to Milli Pede's house and Two boys ran far far away; Psychotic Suzanne, a real dip, A lewd and libidinous quip My cock's getting hard as a rock There was a pure lady of Stame Found boxers to be such a drag on, When there's proof that I'm losing my hair, She looked at her suitor askance, She's just donned her black lace and hose, It's really a bit of a shit I once strapped it down to my thigh When the quarterback called it all crap, Jockey shorts should never be brown. All hail to the fellow named Trent, There's nothing as fine as a tighty. For my job I was set an assignment:
This is file wym
I also tried nothing at all Would you like to donate me yours? A lovely young damsel, Miss Twitting, There's a prudish and foolish Miss Blair A handsome young fellow named Vance A cast iron stomach has Krantz, A thoughtful young fellow named Wright Steven had a pair of pajamas I'm sleeping sans jammies again; Let us outlaw the panty girdle, A pickpocket once picked a pair On Sunday, the Reverend Lynching A western professor of drama There was a Maine cleric named Meyer There was a brave girl of Connecticut, Sir, that fine Mr. Wilkins A snobby old monarch, named Rex, Between massive thighs and below hips, I guess he's not really a king -- There was an old man from Sausalito, In my boyhood town of Mobile, My message to a very nice girl; When engaging in labor disputes, You found someone wearing my undies? (Ted Bundy - infamous serial killer in U.S. 1980's)
The sex show was the usual fare; Said a six foot beauty named Sharon, Poor Chuck had his underpants twisted. The Confederate, Lee, resolute, The last B.V.D. union report To shop at Victoria's a must; Victorian men were quite staid, Last heard from Sexy Vic: There once was that sexy Victoria
And searched haberdashery stocks,
I couldn't find any stuff
To make a ball muff,
And nothing like sweaters for cocks.
--- G2261
That sank poor Bob Dole with its trends.
When Hanes asked would-be chiefs
"You wear boxers or briefs?"
Bob replied, with a long pause, "Depends."
--- Vassar Smith P9611a
Although, truth be said, a large sling
Would give me more traction
And tone down the action,
When running a race makes them swing.
--- Anon
My fruit, unincumbered, may loom
At semi-attention
And garner a mention,
Whenever full stiffie doth bloom.
--- Anon
Each time that he felt a bit humpy;
Briefs fit to perfection.
But sudden erection
Would make them appear rather lumpy.
--- Ann Gasser P8803
Has learned to take many hard knocks.
"For protection," he said.
"Against unwanted lead,
I've a wardrobe of bulletproof jocks."
--- Michael Weinstein P8802
One really must get oneself ready.
A fluff of the hair,
Up here and down there,
And perhaps a quick fling with my Freddie.
--- Boy Pilot
Had jockey shorts made of fine chintz.
He went for an exam,
And the doctor said, "Damn!
You must, now and then, give them a rinse."
--- Bob Giandomenico P0308
As into his hole Saddam darted,
"Wear clean undies today.
When you're caught, you can say,
"My undies were clean when I started!"
--- Arnie Schoenbrun
Showed an absolute absence of etiquette,
Letting all comers press
Through the skirt of her dress,
And wiping the mess with her petticoat.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
For they simply don't give enough air.
I leave my cock dangling
And my balls, a jangling;
Free also is my derriere.
--- Anon
One can't be sure, 'cept by inspection.
It scoots 'round my waist,
And should it leak paste --
They're absorbent in any direction!
--- Anon
Told her brother, "I must have a ton.
On the other hand, Paul,
I have no use at all
For the putzes that go inside one."
--- Michael Weinstein P8708
And feminine buttocks were graced
With prominent bustles
And ladies had muscles,
The buxom were chased and embraced.
--- R J Winkler P8405
Lingerie that's endorsed by a preacher,
The adman was brash
And produced enough cash
To do business with Henry Ward Beecher.
--- A N Wilkins P8802
Having dinner with a potagerie,
Had soup-stained her dress,
And without much distress,
Took it off, and ate on in her lingerie.
--- Isaac Asimov
Removed her long skirt and her blouse and
Then five hundred pair
Of silk underwear
And stockings which numbered a thousand.
--- Travis Brasell
I guess they had wanted to play,
Soccer or hockey.
They both had on jockeys,
I forget what I wanted to say...
--- Anon
Found group session swinging a pip.
After balling them all,
Plus the shrink, name of Paul,
She put on her Freudian slip!
--- John Dohner P8802
On a T-shirt can really be hip.
But what truly is great,
Is to find on a date
That she's wearing a Freudian slip.
--- Don Moore
As I dream of you wearing that frock,
Which covers so little
On back, front, and middle;
Oh, damn! I just shattered my jock!
--- Anon
Who resolved to live quite free of blame.
She wore four pairs of drawers,
And of petticoats scores,
But was fucked in the end just the same.
--- G2520
And briefs, e'er so tight, were a nag on;
So neither I wear,
Just leave my cock bare,
And carry it in a large wagon!
--- Anon
And the kids rush to get me a chair,
I'll never admit
That my plumbing has quit,
But I did buy some long underwear.
--- Al Willis
"You said you'd get into my pants.
If I knew you meant wear
I'd have bought you a pair
And take off my bra you old nance."
--- Arnie P0110
And it's off to the church house she goes.
The dress is quite proper,
But that doesn't stop her.
What's under, just God and her knows.
--- Robyn
Finding nether-type garments to fit
Me, which don't show unduly
My member unruly,
Or fail to contain it and split.
--- Anon
And it worked 'til a young gal came nigh.
Then it grew like a tree;
I could not bend my knee,
But could only just hobble on by.
--- Anon
The incident cause quite a flap.
Since the Mses got cheers
When burned their brassieres,
He proceeded to burn his jock strap.
--- A N Wilkins P8802
You should check them each time they go down.
Great Satan detests you,
So if they arrest you,
You'll look good in the final showdown.
--- Tom Patton
Invented the Jockey Short vent.
And now dusk to dawn
Trent's now working on
A vent for a left handed gent.
--- Irving Superior P8802
They come in chartreuse, black, or whitey.
At three sizes small,
In schoolyard and hall,
They camouflage long, stout, and mighty.
--- Anon
"What's best for excitement confinement?"
I tried out the rest,
But I find that the best
Ones are briefs with the proper alignment.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Which resulted in "tenting" appall-
ing whenever my thoughts
Turned to genital sports.
(But I guess it's OK if you're small.)
--- Jim Weaver Collection
I keep them quite neatly in drawers.
I would keep it clean
And not sew with green
To one of the heads with loud snores.
Athletic supporters keeps knitting,
Then gives them away
In hopes that one day
Her hero comes in for a fitting.
--- Irving Superior P8802
Who swore never to ever be bare.
On each Saturday night,
She sure made quite a sight,
While bathing in long underwear.
--- Tom Patton P0609
Was a popular man at the dance;
With his underwear nil,
All the girls got a thrill
When his testicles swayed in his pants.
--- Cap'n Bean P0501
Discovered this fact quite by chance.
While putting away
His laundry one day,
He noticed some rust in his pants.
--- Irving Superior P8802
Bought his wife a long nightgown of white.
It was fur-trimmed below
Which was quite apropos
For keeping her neck warm at night.
--- Bob Giandomenico P8802
That were made from the hair of the llamas;
But their feminine air
Made his friends all declare,
They were made from a pair of his mama's!
--- Larry Wilde
It's awkward this time of year when
The night is too hot.
By morning it's not,
So I put my jammies on then.
--- Marlene Lewis
The world's most time consuming hurdle.
Before we gain access
'Twixt the strain and the stress,
Our lubricating liquids curdle.
--- Irving Superior P8802
Of shorts, to relieve of their wares.
His hand slipped inside,
But he jumped back and cried,
"My God! Something's growing in there!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
At the alter was squirming and flinching;
It was not due to stress
Or to nervous duress,
But the Fruit-Of_the-Looms that were pinching.
--- Cap'n Bean P0202
Had freshmen withdrawing in trauma.
Though his lessons were fraught
With tough, critical thought,
He taught in a hot pink pajama.
--- Roger Houston
Who was seized with a carnal desire.
And his passionate snorts
Were the parish priest's shorts
That hung up to dry by the fire.
--- Larry Wilde
Who signaled her train with her petticut,
Which the papers defined
As presence of mind,
But deplorable absence of etticut.
--- Ogden Nash
Once told me he wore only silk 'uns;
To slide in and out,
So smoothly, without
A drop of it lost when he's milkin'.
--- Anon
Wore under his ermine, spandex.
"I don't feel just right
Unless things are tight,
When really well hung below decks."
--- Anon
The ladies look on when he strips.
And those who were bold
Would clamour to hold
The cargo he carried 'midships.
--- Anon
He's more of an admiral-thing.
But we call him sire
Because we admire
What's held up by his anchor-ring.
--- Anon
Who liked to run 'round in his Speedo.
It slid up his crack,
And pinched his nut-sack,
Made him jump around like Chester-Cheeto!
--- Anon
A man like this was for real.
He sold for a snack
His nuts in a sack,
Then would dance on the street for a bill.
--- Anon
My laundry slave, her name is Shirl.
No need to bicker
When washing my knickers,
Just beware the stain colored pearl.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
We called on our cutest recruits.
Their method was striking
And quite to my liking.
They sued in their old union suits.
--- Laurence Perrine P8610
They've been missing for several Sundays.
I have not been baring
My butt -- I've been wearing
My new next-door neighbor, Ted Bundy's.
--- Marlene Lewis
The Chicken and Donkey were there.
A Yak in a girdle
A Raccoon fucked a turtle,
And the Hippo in thong underwear.
--- John Chastaine
"I hate clothes made by Donna Karan.
They're made too small
For girls this tall,
So they show the underwear I'm wearin'."
--- Thomas M Patton P9704
"I can't whang it out", he insisted.
He struggled in vain
In the loo under strain,
'Til exhausted, he tearfully piss it.
--- Anon
And resplendent from cap down to boot,
Would have been quite distressed
To hear someone, in jest,
Say that he wore an ugly union suit.
--- J Maynard Kaplan
Was recently filed in the court.
They were very astute,
Bringing a union suit,
But in the end came up a bit short.
--- Tom Patton P0411
It leaves other stores in the dust.
She has sexy lingerie
To wear night or day,
And bras that will enlarge a bust.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0406
And Victorian ladies were stayed,
But undoing laces
In suitable places,
Permitted a pair to get laid.
--- John E. Mayhood P0504
When she visited one Nick,
The guys all arose
When she lost her clothes,
And found a 'finger' to lick.
--- Anon
Whose 'secrets' created euphoria.
When she thus revealed,
The gals unconcealed
Look better from Perth to Peoria.
--- Anon