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These rumors that clearly appals Most coeds think I'm a conundrum; A maiden at college, Miss Keyes, I had hopes of becoming a doctor. There once was a student engineer, "We are ladies here at Sweet Briar," There was a young lady from Bonner, Arriving back late for the class, A coed with round heels was Pam Up in Cambridge, Lib 'Cliffies discard, There once was a coed named Britt, My girlfriend had asked me to aid her There once was a coed from Vassar At commencement, an angry young co-ed, (assuming vo-ed is like vo-tech)
"I've been wondering lately somehow," She enrolled in a college in Chester. A shapely young lady from Greene There was a young coed from Knox, Her grades were not known for their highness; I once met a coed from Pulaski, There was a young girl from Bryn Mawr, There was a coed named Nancy; A certain black freshman from Vassar, A pretty young coed at Burnaby A coed at Tennesse U. This coed was a cute little thing; Sorority sisters Sam found Or a hole in the ground, Teresa, Princeton's southern belle, A Southern Cal student named Lily, There's a coed at college named Mary, A sweet Georgia coed named Nance "In my studies I'm very sincere, The other girl tittered with glee. It's funny the things one remembers, Mona was stupid, alas, She'd slowly unbutton her shirt, Then fondle her pencil and write: So thus she's earned twenty degrees A girl graduated from Vassar, This buxom young beauty from Folsom, A modern young maiden at Newnham (Newnham College of Cambridge)
You were so long trying to graduate As you march up to get your sheepskin, I'm proud as old Caesar of Roma; There you stand in your gown of blue; Miss Smith," said the dean, "I must state, (just great)
There was a young coed named Esther I know a cute senior named Cookie; A young drama student I know Let's ring out the bells, wife, and sing Let's wring out my balls, wife, and swing A pretty young girl at my college There's a coed at State named Doreen, (Three times running since turning sixteen!)
The first summer course was a peach, Have you looked at this girl Juliet? A co-ed who lived in my dorm "Some precaution should not be despised," (Somebody should apologise to Dorothy Parker - McW)
The Notre Dame chaplain surmised, There's a very hot babe at the Aggies, In a frat house, a girl who was square, There's a popular coed at Yale At a liberal college of law, Marjorie Hewitt Suchocki (real person, real name)
Take offense, how do you mean? From reading the words that I've seen --
You, are scribbled on Maude's Back Room walls;
Some are echoed 'cross valleys.
And whispered in alleys,
But mostly scratched on restroom stalls.
--- Travis Brasell
However, they like me to fundr'um,
When they need some cash
For some college bash --
But they like me best to lie undr'um.
--- Travis Brasell
Weighed down by B.A.'s and M.D.'s,
Collapsed from the strain.
Said her doctor, "It's plain
You are killing yourself, by degrees."
--- Mrs Warren P0408A
My advisor said this news sure shocked her.
She said, "Toots, your acumen
Is barely sub-human!"
It made me so mad, I cold-cocked her.
--- Robin K Willoughby P8311
Who found at the end of the year,
That her courses made sense,
But she was so dense,
She still took her exams in fear.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
The dean told the girls. "We require
That you peddle your ass,
If you must, outside class,
And, at all times, in formal attire."
--- Anon
Who decided she needed no honor.
She laid down on her back,
And threw open her crack,
And the whole football team jumped upon her.
--- Greg
The prof took a piece of my ass,
Saying, "Where were you, Bill?"
"On top of Rose Hill,
And she's quite a gifted young lass."
--- Funny Bone
Who would spread for a joint or a gram.
With guys by the swarm,
She'd bone up the dorm
And exclaim, "What a great way to cram."
--- Bob Giandomenico P8801
Any pretense of being on guard.
Though the Harvards deny it,
Their saltpeter diet,
Makes it hard to get hard in the Yard.
--- Anon
Who dated a student from Pitt.
His dick was so long
That she burst into song,
"I love you so much, I could shit!"
--- David Miller
In choosing a lenient grader.
Asked if she'd picked a keen one,
I said, "No, he's a mean one!
Like Attila the Hun plus Darth Vader!"
--- Robin K Willoughby P8311
Whose prof always tried to harass her.
He promised an A
In exchange for a lay.
He fucked her and then didn't pass her.
--- David Miller
Was arrested for shouting, "It's no ed!
I paid you for Newton,
Bach, Kant, and Rasputin,
But all that you offered was Vo-ed!"
--- Cyber Geezer
he said to a coed named Dow,
"Could there possibly be
Someone else?" Answered she,
"If there was I'd be out with him now."
--- A N Wilkins P8405a
And all through her first semester,
Not very attractive
Or sexually active,
She could not find a soul to molest her.
--- Dorman John Grace P9409
Was put on the list of the dean,
Which should not be confused
With the list that he used
To honor the minds that were keen.
--- Lims Unlimited
Who had no experience with cocks.
She dated a sailor
Who started to tail her,
And left her to nurse a sore box.
--- G1571
She tried compensating with slyness.
She seduced her instructor,
Who gasped as he fucked her,
"Okay, you can have a C-."
--- Lucas Hulp P9409
Said, "I'll do anything that you ask me...
I'll suck and I'll fuck,
Till you've had enough,
Do anything to me, but please pass me!"
--- Big Boy
Who carried politeness too far.
"Don't look now," she said,
With a tilt of her head,
"But someone is stealing your car!"
--- Anon
Was a snob who acted too fancy,
Till taken down a notch
With a prick in her crotch;
Hooray for the Freshman named Clancy!
--- Laurence Craft
When asked would she give some, said, "Yassir;"
She wasn't no whore
But flunking French 4:
Her prof was the one who could pass her.
--- Armand Singer P0104
Would have given her all to return a "B".
Which evil was lesser?
Seduce her professor,
Or actually study and earn a "B"?
--- John E Mayhood P0900
Slept with every professor she knew;
But the second time 'round,
She got really unwound
By a sense of acute 'deja scru'.
--- Norm Storer P9111
A college man gave her his ring.
Along with this gesture,
She was fucked by this lecher,
Giving birth at the Prom in the Spring!
--- Laurence Craft
Have requirements and needs which abound.
It's a heavyweight bout
To make one put out;
He'd as soon screw a bitch from the pound
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0401
Or a fish from the sound,
Or a turkey that's browned
Or the Baskerville Hound
--- Arnie Schoenbrun
Knew all of the men very well.
From away they were led
To the sheets on her bed,
And asked her, "Now what is that smell?"
--- Tom
Made her lovers feel worthless and silly.
Once they'd tupped her and come,
She'd sit up and chew gum,
And say "Over so soon? Oh gawd, rilly!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who technically still has her cherry.
For she claims it's not sin
Till ten inches is in--
Her vagina is very short, very!
--- G1583
Was queen of the frat football dance.
She took on the pledges
Between the famed hedges,
While the actives jacked off in their pants.
--- David Miller
I fuck for the skinny old dear.
Cum laude I'll blaze
In arrays of straight-A's
If he lasts till the end of the year."
--- G0041
This is file wwm
"I can see that's the system for me.
I'll go through like a dream,
Though I'm sure it will seem
I've been screwed -- to a certain degree."
--- G0042
Like sororities back at old Himbers.
Disregarding the rule
Clearly set by the school,
They were always accepting male members.
--- Pierce Evans
But a wow in biology class.
Her primary features
Excited her teachers
Who always allowed her to pass.
--- Anon
In order to show off her pert
Little nipples and breasts,
In biology tests,
Before teasingly lifting her skirt.
--- Anon
"I see that your trousers are tight;
If you want me to play
Mark this paper Grade A,
And we'll do it like rabbits tonight."
--- Anon
(University ones if you please).
She's Mastered the Arts
Of a gentleman's parts,
Has Maria the Mistress of Sleaze.
--- Anon
So pretty the staff had to pass her.
Nobody had seen
She was bonking the Dean,
Who procured her a plum job at NASA.
--- Anon
Who's so very much less than wholesome,
Has teachers in classes
Who see that she passes;
She fucks some and sucks some and pulls some.
--- Jon Gearhart
Wore trousers--but how did she woo in 'em?
For friendly caresses
I much prefer dresses;
There's very much more you can do in 'em.
--- Harold C Bibby A
That I considered myself celibate.
Now take off that gown,
We're going to town,
But we won't fuck, we'll fornicate.
--- S C Saint
I just can't help thinking of sin.
And as you graduate,
I'll be glad that you ate
The tip of my rumpled still skin.
--- Irish
You finally got your diploma.
I got us some wine;
So give me a sign,
That your ready to come out of your coma.
--- Darren
Hell, I thought you'd get through.
Now work four or five days
At a real job that pays.
But at fifty? Well God bless you!
--- S C Saint
As a scholar, you don't pull much weight.
Your math is terrible,
Your physics unbearable,
Though I'd say your physique is first rate."
--- Anon
Who claimed that the frosh could not best her,
But a freshman, a jester,
With his prick did test her,
And he fucked her for one whole semester.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0129
The two of us often play hooky;
She likes to cut class,
I'm looking for ass,
To put it more gently: free nooky.
--- Armand E Singer 974
Used to sit in the very first row,
Where she'd flash the old prof
Who would really get off,
And she'd get an A plus for that show.
--- Bob Birch
Of this glorious weekday in Spring.
'Cause I say graduation
Deserves celebration;
You make me as proud as a king.
--- Peter Wilkins
On this glorious weekday in Spring.
'Cause I say graduation
Deserves celebration;
Come play with my ding-a-ling thing.
--- Peter Wilkins
Was raised with no sexual knowledge.
I reached in her pants
And she did quite a dance;
Her hormones she had to acknowledge.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who's renowned on the oral-sex scene.
Since vibrato, it's said,
Is the crown on her head,
She's been voted the Humcoming Queen.
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner
And the second -- in fine arts and speech;
But the best course of all,
Spring, Summer, or Fall,
Was the intercourse out on the beach.
--- Larry Payne P8311
She's the likeliest candidate yet.
If she pledges Phi Chi,
Says this Romeo guy,
We'll have Homecoming Queen a sure bet!
--- Laurence Perrine P8401
Had a shape like the limerick form;
She was not there to study
But to serve as my buddy,
And keep me protected and warm.
--- Alsops Foibles
The old Dean of Students advised.
"If the coeds here, friend,
Were all laid end to end,
"I wouldn't" he said, "be surprised."
--- A N Wilkins P8311A
The faculty should be apprised:
If the girls at West Bend
Were laid end to end,
He wouldn't at all be surprised.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0209
Who's to men what to bulls a red flag is.
The Seniors go round
Hanging down to the ground,
And one extra-large Soph has to drag his.
--- G0235
Downed a tumbler of Scotch on a dare.
She no sooner had finished
That her hang-ups diminished,
And she found herself loaded for bare!
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner
Who is blessed with the breast of a quail.
So she wisely relies
On the prize 'twixt her thighs
And proportionate torsion of tail.
--- Krissa Guiness P8311
Not one of the girls wore a bra;
And the faculty men
Stared again and again,
For they truly enjoyed what they saw!
--- Cap'n Bean
Be she pretty or slender or stocky,
Got her PhD,
So she's smarter than me...
If I were that good I'd be cocky.
--- John Miller
Your limerick's appallingly clean.
No jiving nor shucking,
So sucking nor fucking,
No shit; the damned things pristine.
--- Archie
Agreed, it's so fully pristine,
It would not have tainted
If John had it painted
On the roof of the Chapel Sistine.
--- aRCHIE
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