These rumors that clearly appals
You, are scribbled on Maude's Back Room walls;
Some are echoed 'cross valleys.
And whispered in alleys,
But mostly scratched on restroom stalls.
--- Travis Brasell

Most coeds think I'm a conundrum;
However, they like me to fundr'um,
When they need some cash
For some college bash --
But they like me best to lie undr'um.
--- Travis Brasell

A maiden at college, Miss Keyes,
Weighed down by B.A.'s and M.D.'s,
Collapsed from the strain.
Said her doctor, "It's plain
You are killing yourself, by degrees."
--- Mrs Warren P0408A

I had hopes of becoming a doctor.
My advisor said this news sure shocked her.
She said, "Toots, your acumen
Is barely sub-human!"
It made me so mad, I cold-cocked her.
--- Robin K Willoughby P8311

There once was a student engineer,
Who found at the end of the year,
That her courses made sense,
But she was so dense,
She still took her exams in fear.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

"We are ladies here at Sweet Briar,"
The dean told the girls. "We require
That you peddle your ass,
If you must, outside class,
And, at all times, in formal attire."
--- Anon

There was a young lady from Bonner,
Who decided she needed no honor.
She laid down on her back,
And threw open her crack,
And the whole football team jumped upon her.
--- Greg

Arriving back late for the class,
The prof took a piece of my ass,
Saying, "Where were you, Bill?"
"On top of Rose Hill,
And she's quite a gifted young lass."
--- Funny Bone

A coed with round heels was Pam
Who would spread for a joint or a gram.
With guys by the swarm,
She'd bone up the dorm
And exclaim, "What a great way to cram."
--- Bob Giandomenico P8801

Up in Cambridge, Lib 'Cliffies discard,
Any pretense of being on guard.
Though the Harvards deny it,
Their saltpeter diet,
Makes it hard to get hard in the Yard.
--- Anon

There once was a coed named Britt,
Who dated a student from Pitt.
His dick was so long
That she burst into song,
"I love you so much, I could shit!"
--- David Miller

My girlfriend had asked me to aid her
In choosing a lenient grader.
Asked if she'd picked a keen one,
I said, "No, he's a mean one!
Like Attila the Hun plus Darth Vader!"
--- Robin K Willoughby P8311

There once was a coed from Vassar
Whose prof always tried to harass her.
He promised an A
In exchange for a lay.
He fucked her and then didn't pass her.
--- David Miller

At commencement, an angry young co-ed,
Was arrested for shouting, "It's no ed!
I paid you for Newton,
Bach, Kant, and Rasputin,
But all that you offered was Vo-ed!"

(assuming vo-ed is like vo-tech)
--- Cyber Geezer

"I've been wondering lately somehow,"
he said to a coed named Dow,
"Could there possibly be
Someone else?" Answered she,
"If there was I'd be out with him now."
--- A N Wilkins P8405a

She enrolled in a college in Chester.
And all through her first semester,
Not very attractive
Or sexually active,
She could not find a soul to molest her.
--- Dorman John Grace P9409

A shapely young lady from Greene
Was put on the list of the dean,
Which should not be confused
With the list that he used
To honor the minds that were keen.
--- Lims Unlimited

There was a young coed from Knox,
Who had no experience with cocks.
She dated a sailor
Who started to tail her,
And left her to nurse a sore box.
--- G1571

Her grades were not known for their highness;
She tried compensating with slyness.
She seduced her instructor,
Who gasped as he fucked her,
"Okay, you can have a C-."
--- Lucas Hulp P9409

I once met a coed from Pulaski,
Said, "I'll do anything that you ask me...
I'll suck and I'll fuck,
Till you've had enough,
Do anything to me, but please pass me!"
--- Big Boy

There was a young girl from Bryn Mawr,
Who carried politeness too far.
"Don't look now," she said,
With a tilt of her head,
"But someone is stealing your car!"
--- Anon

There was a coed named Nancy;
Was a snob who acted too fancy,
Till taken down a notch
With a prick in her crotch;
Hooray for the Freshman named Clancy!
--- Laurence Craft

A certain black freshman from Vassar,
When asked would she give some, said, "Yassir;"
She wasn't no whore
But flunking French 4:
Her prof was the one who could pass her.
--- Armand Singer P0104

A pretty young coed at Burnaby
Would have given her all to return a "B".
Which evil was lesser?
Seduce her professor,
Or actually study and earn a "B"?
--- John E Mayhood P0900

A coed at Tennesse U.
Slept with every professor she knew;
But the second time 'round,
She got really unwound
By a sense of acute 'deja scru'.
--- Norm Storer P9111

This coed was a cute little thing;
A college man gave her his ring.
Along with this gesture,
She was fucked by this lecher,
Giving birth at the Prom in the Spring!
--- Laurence Craft

Sorority sisters Sam found
Have requirements and needs which abound.
It's a heavyweight bout
To make one put out;
He'd as soon screw a bitch from the pound
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0401

Or a hole in the ground,
Or a fish from the sound,
Or a turkey that's browned
Or the Baskerville Hound

--- Arnie Schoenbrun

Teresa, Princeton's southern belle,
Knew all of the men very well.
From away they were led
To the sheets on her bed,
And asked her, "Now what is that smell?"
--- Tom

A Southern Cal student named Lily,
Made her lovers feel worthless and silly.
Once they'd tupped her and come,
She'd sit up and chew gum,
And say "Over so soon? Oh gawd, rilly!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection

There's a coed at college named Mary,
Who technically still has her cherry.
For she claims it's not sin
Till ten inches is in--
Her vagina is very short, very!
--- G1583

A sweet Georgia coed named Nance
Was queen of the frat football dance.
She took on the pledges
Between the famed hedges,
While the actives jacked off in their pants.
--- David Miller

"In my studies I'm very sincere,
I fuck for the skinny old dear.
Cum laude I'll blaze
In arrays of straight-A's
If he lasts till the end of the year."
--- G0041

This is file wwm

The other girl tittered with glee.
"I can see that's the system for me.
I'll go through like a dream,
Though I'm sure it will seem
I've been screwed -- to a certain degree."
--- G0042

It's funny the things one remembers,
Like sororities back at old Himbers.
Disregarding the rule
Clearly set by the school,
They were always accepting male members.
--- Pierce Evans

Mona was stupid, alas,
But a wow in biology class.
Her primary features
Excited her teachers
Who always allowed her to pass.
--- Anon

She'd slowly unbutton her shirt,
In order to show off her pert
Little nipples and breasts,
In biology tests,
Before teasingly lifting her skirt.
--- Anon

Then fondle her pencil and write:
"I see that your trousers are tight;
If you want me to play
Mark this paper Grade A,
And we'll do it like rabbits tonight."
--- Anon

So thus she's earned twenty degrees
(University ones if you please).
She's Mastered the Arts
Of a gentleman's parts,
Has Maria the Mistress of Sleaze.
--- Anon

A girl graduated from Vassar,
So pretty the staff had to pass her.
Nobody had seen
She was bonking the Dean,
Who procured her a plum job at NASA.
--- Anon

This buxom young beauty from Folsom,
Who's so very much less than wholesome,
Has teachers in classes
Who see that she passes;
She fucks some and sucks some and pulls some.
--- Jon Gearhart

A modern young maiden at Newnham
Wore trousers--but how did she woo in 'em?
For friendly caresses
I much prefer dresses;
There's very much more you can do in 'em.

(Newnham College of Cambridge)
--- Harold C Bibby A

You were so long trying to graduate
That I considered myself celibate.
Now take off that gown,
We're going to town,
But we won't fuck, we'll fornicate.
--- S C Saint

As you march up to get your sheepskin,
I just can't help thinking of sin.
And as you graduate,
I'll be glad that you ate
The tip of my rumpled still skin.
--- Irish

I'm proud as old Caesar of Roma;
You finally got your diploma.
I got us some wine;
So give me a sign,
That your ready to come out of your coma.
--- Darren

There you stand in your gown of blue;
Hell, I thought you'd get through.
Now work four or five days
At a real job that pays.
But at fifty? Well God bless you!
--- S C Saint

Miss Smith," said the dean, "I must state,
As a scholar, you don't pull much weight.
Your math is terrible,
Your physics unbearable,
Though I'd say your physique is first rate."

(just great)
--- Anon

There was a young coed named Esther
Who claimed that the frosh could not best her,
But a freshman, a jester,
With his prick did test her,
And he fucked her for one whole semester.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0129

I know a cute senior named Cookie;
The two of us often play hooky;
She likes to cut class,
I'm looking for ass,
To put it more gently: free nooky.
--- Armand E Singer 974

A young drama student I know
Used to sit in the very first row,
Where she'd flash the old prof
Who would really get off,
And she'd get an A plus for that show.
--- Bob Birch

Let's ring out the bells, wife, and sing
Of this glorious weekday in Spring.
'Cause I say graduation
Deserves celebration;
You make me as proud as a king.
--- Peter Wilkins

Let's wring out my balls, wife, and swing
On this glorious weekday in Spring.
'Cause I say graduation
Deserves celebration;
Come play with my ding-a-ling thing.
--- Peter Wilkins

A pretty young girl at my college
Was raised with no sexual knowledge.
I reached in her pants
And she did quite a dance;
Her hormones she had to acknowledge.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

There's a coed at State named Doreen,
Who's renowned on the oral-sex scene.
Since vibrato, it's said,
Is the crown on her head,
She's been voted the Humcoming Queen.

(Three times running since turning sixteen!)
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner

The first summer course was a peach,
And the second -- in fine arts and speech;
But the best course of all,
Spring, Summer, or Fall,
Was the intercourse out on the beach.
--- Larry Payne P8311

Have you looked at this girl Juliet?
She's the likeliest candidate yet.
If she pledges Phi Chi,
Says this Romeo guy,
We'll have Homecoming Queen a sure bet!
--- Laurence Perrine P8401

A co-ed who lived in my dorm
Had a shape like the limerick form;
She was not there to study
But to serve as my buddy,
And keep me protected and warm.
--- Alsops Foibles

"Some precaution should not be despised,"
The old Dean of Students advised.
"If the coeds here, friend,
Were all laid end to end,
"I wouldn't" he said, "be surprised."

(Somebody should apologise to Dorothy Parker - McW)
--- A N Wilkins P8311A

The Notre Dame chaplain surmised,
The faculty should be apprised:
If the girls at West Bend
Were laid end to end,
He wouldn't at all be surprised.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0209

There's a very hot babe at the Aggies,
Who's to men what to bulls a red flag is.
The Seniors go round
Hanging down to the ground,
And one extra-large Soph has to drag his.
--- G0235

In a frat house, a girl who was square,
Downed a tumbler of Scotch on a dare.
She no sooner had finished
That her hang-ups diminished,
And she found herself loaded for bare!
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner

There's a popular coed at Yale
Who is blessed with the breast of a quail.
So she wisely relies
On the prize 'twixt her thighs
And proportionate torsion of tail.
--- Krissa Guiness P8311

At a liberal college of law,
Not one of the girls wore a bra;
And the faculty men
Stared again and again,
For they truly enjoyed what they saw!
--- Cap'n Bean

Marjorie Hewitt Suchocki
Be she pretty or slender or stocky,
Got her PhD,
So she's smarter than me...
If I were that good I'd be cocky.

(real person, real name)
--- John Miller

Take offense, how do you mean?
Your limerick's appallingly clean.
No jiving nor shucking,
So sucking nor fucking,
No shit; the damned things pristine.
--- Archie

From reading the words that I've seen --
Agreed, it's so fully pristine,
It would not have tainted
If John had it painted
On the roof of the Chapel Sistine.
--- aRCHIE