Well, don't think at all I'm a prude;
My first thoughts were nasty and lewd.
But if in good cheer,
I put those thoughts here...
I'd almost for certain be sued.
--- John Miller

This feminine Master of Arts
Is also a mistress of hearts,
And for loving inclined
Or for feats of the mind,
Has all of the requisite parts.
--- Larry Payne P8311

Our chief campus watchdog, Dean Flowers,
These days never smiles -- he just glowers.
A substantial majority
Of the leading sorority
Have men in their beds at all hours.
--- Armand E Singer 253

A student once had the ambition
Of becoming a medical technician.
But med schools were so strict,
Folks were dying to get picked;
So instead she became a mortician.
--- Jen

Said a pretty young student from Smith,
Whose virtue was largely a myth,
"Try hard as I can,
I can't find a man,
Whom it's fun to be virtuous with."
--- Anon L1538

A coed named Jacqueline Hind
Drove college boys out of their mind;
She was pretty and bright
And her blouses were tight,
Showing nipples so crisply defined.
--- Cap'n Bean P0304

There was a young Vassar collegian
With exploits in sex that were legion.
She could outlast them all
From Berlin to St. Paul,
But she could not outlast a Norwegian.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0669

Said a passionate girl from Purdue,
To her German professor, Karl Drew,
"You think reading Nietzsche
Is perfectly peachy,
But, frankly, I'd much rather screw."
--- Anon

'Twas a hot-blooded student of Denver
Who developed a passionte yenver
A delicious co-ed
Who would murmur in bed,
"There are things that I simply won't stenver."
--- Keith MacMillan A027B

A modest young maid of New Hall
Met a man at a fancy dress ball;
He said, "Isn't it rude
To be totally nude?"
She replied, "I am Eve ere the Fall."

(New Hall of Cambridge)
--- Harold C Bibby A

There was a young lady called Burton,
Who outraged the Fellows of Girton,
By cycling to town
Without wearing a gown,
And, what's worse, without even a skirt on.
--- Anon

A USC coed named Stark
Will fool around just in the dark.
She coos, "It's not right
To turn on in the light,
So turn off the headlights and park!"
--- Larry Wilde

A lass at the foot of her class,
Asked a brainier chick how to pass.
She replied, "With no fuss
You can get a B-plus,
By letting the prof pat your ass."
--- G0040

There once was a co-ed named Clapper,
In psychology class, quite a napper.
But her Freudian dreams
Were so classic, it seems
That now she's a Phi Beta Kappa.
--- Harvey L. Carter

I'm going to school in the Fall
Though my intellect's terribly small;
Since I'm good in Phys Ed,
I can major in Bed;
I can't spell, but I know how to ball!
--- Robin K Willoughby P8311

There once was a coed named Jane,
Who had a blind date while at Maine.
She yelled, "Out of sight!"
As he fucked her all night,
For his dick was as long as his cane.
--- David Miller

There are a few girls in school
Who would boff any old fool,
But those with the A's
Know who plays,
And boff Professor O'Doul.
--- Fenderson Parker

A nimble young lass, name of Loctor,
Had a tip for becoming a doctor:
"You don't have to cram
For a single exam --
Simply pump the most bribable proctor.
--- Robin K Willoughby P8311

There was a young lady from Vassar,
At screwing, none could surpass her.
So she went up to Yale
And peddled her tail,
From the Bulldog up to the Headmaster.
--- G0790

For a student whose name is Kathleen,
With a mind that's not overly keen,
Graduation is sure
As she's hardly demure,
And has often been seen with the Dean.
--- Cyber Geezer

There's Penny from Michigan State,
She's a culinary expert to rate;
Her specialist dish,
Involves lots of fish,
And her pussy, dished up on a plate.
--- Tim Fisher

There was once an athletic young jock,
Who could shatter large rocks with his cock.
But a coed said, "Dear,
Please insert the thing here."
And he fainted away with the shock.
--- Isaac Asimov

When a friend asked a coed named Beam,
"As a freshman did you ever dream
That you'd letter in track?"
She said, "Actually, Jack,
All I thought of was making the team."
--- A N Wilkins P8306A

His research publications make clear
The discoveries of Dr. DeVere:
Short skirts on the lasses,
High marks in their classes,
Will correlate nicely each year.
--- John E Mayhood P0108

A giddy young girl up at Girton,
When found with a man, had no skirt on.
She explained to her tutor,
"He thought I looked cuter--
The subject is one he's expert on."

(Girton College of Cambridge)
--- Harold C Bibby

A co-ed at State University,
When faced with financial adversity,
Let her body be leased
By man, woman or beast.
She strove for biological diversity.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

There was a Cal freshman named Jenny
Who would do it for only a penny,
She lived just to hump
And to grind her fat rump;
A source of amusement to many.
--- Larry Wilde

A beautiful coed from Wheaton
Won't fuck but she loves to be eaten.
She dates a young surgeon
Who's also a virgin;
He loves to have his meat beaten.
--- David Miller

At college she studies biology,
French and a little psychology.
What gives her kicks
Though are gentlemen's dicks,
So at night-time she studies whorology.
--- Peter Wilkins

Her learning is purely genetic.
The John must be lean and athletic.
She rides while she quotes,
"I'm just jotting down notes."
To the men, she remains apathetic.
--- Anon

Horology is the study of clocks,
Time pieces and weather-cocks.
But when told horology,
She understood whorology,
And now studies gentlemen's cocks.
--- Anon

There was a young coed named Bridget,
Who dressed in the clothes of a midget.
Everyone in the class
Got a look at her ass,
And she'd wink at the prof with her twidget.
--- Big Little Playoy Lims

A shy little student from Derry
Got stoned on two glasses of sherry.
And then her professor
Began to undress her --
And was she responsive? Oh very!
--- Hugh Oliver A079A

This is file wvm

There once was a very bright lass,
Who was at the top of her class.
She studied real hard,
So on her report card,
All of her subjects she'd pass.
--- Holzmille2

The virtuous ladies of Newnham,
Are preserved from the men who would ruin 'em,
By the tales that they've heard
Of the birds who have erred,
And the morals the Fellows imbue in 'em.
--- Anon

The house mother warned at the dance,
"Girls, you sure have to watch Ancey Rance.
He's so hot, he's abrewing,
Better mind what you're doing,
Or you'll wind up with Rance in your pants!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 566

A woman just out of Bryn Mawr
Obtained her degree at the bar;
It was not L.L.B.,
But X.X.Y.Z.,
Which means she had gone pretty far.
--- Lims Unlimited

"Each year," said a Wells girl, "it's plainer;
Cramming's vain, class attendance is vainer.
To get A in Phys Ed
I just worked out in bed,
With the wrestling coach and the trainer."
--- Anon

To college went able young Hurd;
His parents had felt they had erred.
When they asked him what knowledge
He received while at college,
He replied with a four-letter word.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2120

At Kenyon, a fellow, no sharer,
Was said to just be quite a terror.
His professors were furious;
They perceived him injurious;
A fundamental attribution error.
--- Mikhail Lyubansky

A gross college student named Joe
Never bathed in four years, don't you know.
On graduation day
They carried him away
And changed his B.A. to B.O.
--- Tom Patton P0112

A pauperized fellow named West
With living in slums was distressed.
So he went off to college
To acquire more knowledge,
And a beatnik became like the rest.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2833

Some Harvard men, stalwart and hairy,
Drank up several bottles of sherry;
In the yard around three,
They were shieking with glee:
"Come on out, we are burning a fairy!"
--- VOL 11

A sophomore student at Reed,
From perversity rather than need,
Likes to caper about
With his wang hanging out
And in general scatter his seed.
--- Hugh Oliver A130A

A sizeable sizar of John's,
When caught climbing in by the dons,
Explained with deep sighs,
"I'm of too great a size
And so I got stuck in the pons."

(St Johns College of Cambridge) (sizar - student servant)
--- Harold C Bibby

A ferocious young Fellow of Peterhouse
Said, "This has become too effete a House;
Our deer are too tame--
Things have not been the same
Since we set free the beasts from a cheetah house."

(Peterhouse College of Cambridge)
--- Harold C Bibby

A philosopher Fellow of Trinity
Said, "Geometry show this affinity:
Concavo-convex is
Symbolic of sexes,
While arrows denote masculitity."

(Trinity College of Cambridge)
--- Harold C Bibby

A chemistry student in Bleekers
Was making a stench in his beakers;
His professor said, "Ben,
Are you at it again?
I told you to stop cooking sneakers."
--- Lims Unlimited

September, the debut of Frosh
On campus! Seniors dub them, the unwashed.
But when they arrive
On parties they thrive,
And consider studies, just bosh!
--- Barb

Then, when in their third term,
They just might start to squirm.
The Professors insist,
If not on A list,
They accept failure, that's firm!
--- Barb

But then mending ways that were spurious,
They study at rate that is furious!
So at that rate,
Some graduate,
And I find it all very curious.
--- Barb

A corpulent classic at Clare
Said, "Calories I must forswear."
So strong was his will,
He fasted until
He'd slimmed into clar(e)ified air.

(Clare College of Cambridge)
--- Harold C Bibby

An amateur jockey at Pemmer
Was 'gated' to seven pip-emma, ( 1900 Hours )
He was seen at Newmarket
In a pub after dark: it
Presented an awkward dilemma.

(Pemmer - Pembroke College of Cambridge)
--- Harold C Bibby

After flunking out twice in thermology,
A student of meteorology
Threw in the sponge
And took a long plunge
From the roof of The Massachusetts Institute of Technology.
--- William K Alsop P8910

My neck is too brown to be red,
So get that dumb shit out your head.
Psychology's my degree;
You're the nut in this tree,
So fall off the branch and drop dead.
--- Anon

A mixed-up young person from Texas
Was full of syndromes and complexes.
So they sent him to college
In search of pure knowledge,
And to locate himself in the sexes.
--- G2528R

There was a young man from the Cam,
Went in for his final exam.
When he asked if he'd passed
And they said "No, you're last,"
He turned on his heel and said "Damn!"
--- Beda Herbert

Mr Tweedle who went to U.C.
Ended up with a D.D. degree.
But the Tweedle-dee-dum
Was just rated dim sum,
After flunkin his first SAT.
--- J Maynard Kaplan

I replied when he asked, "Will I pass?"
When he hadn't been coming to class,
"Though I'm told I must say
That your psyche's OK,
I'm considering flunking your ass."
--- Cyber Geezer

A student who attended South Kent
Had an unfortunate bent.
He liked to paint faces
On public places,
For which he had no talent.
--- Thomas A Ratliff Jr P0401

My chin is too strong for your hooks,
So use that left cross on your looks.
Save your hooks for the street,
You used piece of meat!
Or better yet, try hitting the books.
--- Anon

A studious fellow named Pease
Took courses to get Ph.D.'s,
But the courses got tougher
And the sledding got rougher,
And he killed himself off by degrees.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2740

I was never thought clever at school,
And by some was considered a fool.
But of all Cupid's stunts,
Where they prove stupid cunts,
Its the duds like me, last out the spool.
--- G0176

An M.I.T. student named Josh
Spent his first term royally sloshed.
When the next term came by,
He was perpetually high;
Just think of the brain cells he lost!
--- James Riccio

At Harvard, fish chowders the rage.
The students say it can assuage
Those lusts that are lost on
The burghers of Boston,
Regardless of gender or age.
--- Barrie Collins

A town girl spread sex by the bale,
Specializing in students from Yale.
They spent gala nights
Sampling her nude delights,
Which kept half of Yale mighty pale.
--- Grand Prix Lim 635

The Lamda Chi's built their new frat house
Conveniently next to a cat house.
If cats had their druthers,
They's take lambs as brothers,
But not goats in sheepskins from that house.
--- Laurence Perrine P9206