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Well, don't think at all I'm a prude; This feminine Master of Arts Our chief campus watchdog, Dean Flowers, A student once had the ambition Said a pretty young student from Smith, A coed named Jacqueline Hind There was a young Vassar collegian Said a passionate girl from Purdue, 'Twas a hot-blooded student of Denver A modest young maid of New Hall (New Hall of Cambridge)
There was a young lady called Burton, A USC coed named Stark A lass at the foot of her class, There once was a co-ed named Clapper, I'm going to school in the Fall There once was a coed named Jane, There are a few girls in school A nimble young lass, name of Loctor, There was a young lady from Vassar, For a student whose name is Kathleen, There's Penny from Michigan State, There was once an athletic young jock, When a friend asked a coed named Beam, His research publications make clear A giddy young girl up at Girton, (Girton College of Cambridge)
A co-ed at State University, There was a Cal freshman named Jenny A beautiful coed from Wheaton At college she studies biology, Her learning is purely genetic. Horology is the study of clocks, There was a young coed named Bridget, A shy little student from Derry There once was a very bright lass, The virtuous ladies of Newnham, The house mother warned at the dance, A woman just out of Bryn Mawr "Each year," said a Wells girl, "it's plainer; To college went able young Hurd; At Kenyon, a fellow, no sharer, A gross college student named Joe A pauperized fellow named West Some Harvard men, stalwart and hairy, A sophomore student at Reed, A sizeable sizar of John's, (St Johns College of Cambridge) (sizar - student servant)
A ferocious young Fellow of Peterhouse (Peterhouse College of Cambridge)
A philosopher Fellow of Trinity (Trinity College of Cambridge)
A chemistry student in Bleekers September, the debut of Frosh Then, when in their third term, But then mending ways that were spurious, A corpulent classic at Clare (Clare College of Cambridge)
An amateur jockey at Pemmer (Pemmer - Pembroke College of Cambridge)
After flunking out twice in thermology, My neck is too brown to be red, A mixed-up young person from Texas There was a young man from the Cam, Mr Tweedle who went to U.C. I replied when he asked, "Will I pass?" A student who attended South Kent My chin is too strong for your hooks, A studious fellow named Pease I was never thought clever at school, An M.I.T. student named Josh At Harvard, fish chowders the rage. A town girl spread sex by the bale, The Lamda Chi's built their new frat house
My first thoughts were nasty and lewd.
But if in good cheer,
I put those thoughts here...
I'd almost for certain be sued.
--- John Miller
Is also a mistress of hearts,
And for loving inclined
Or for feats of the mind,
Has all of the requisite parts.
--- Larry Payne P8311
These days never smiles -- he just glowers.
A substantial majority
Of the leading sorority
Have men in their beds at all hours.
--- Armand E Singer 253
Of becoming a medical technician.
But med schools were so strict,
Folks were dying to get picked;
So instead she became a mortician.
--- Jen
Whose virtue was largely a myth,
"Try hard as I can,
I can't find a man,
Whom it's fun to be virtuous with."
--- Anon L1538
Drove college boys out of their mind;
She was pretty and bright
And her blouses were tight,
Showing nipples so crisply defined.
--- Cap'n Bean P0304
With exploits in sex that were legion.
She could outlast them all
From Berlin to St. Paul,
But she could not outlast a Norwegian.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0669
To her German professor, Karl Drew,
"You think reading Nietzsche
Is perfectly peachy,
But, frankly, I'd much rather screw."
--- Anon
Who developed a passionte yenver
A delicious co-ed
Who would murmur in bed,
"There are things that I simply won't stenver."
--- Keith MacMillan A027B
Met a man at a fancy dress ball;
He said, "Isn't it rude
To be totally nude?"
She replied, "I am Eve ere the Fall."
--- Harold C Bibby A
Who outraged the Fellows of Girton,
By cycling to town
Without wearing a gown,
And, what's worse, without even a skirt on.
--- Anon
Will fool around just in the dark.
She coos, "It's not right
To turn on in the light,
So turn off the headlights and park!"
--- Larry Wilde
Asked a brainier chick how to pass.
She replied, "With no fuss
You can get a B-plus,
By letting the prof pat your ass."
--- G0040
In psychology class, quite a napper.
But her Freudian dreams
Were so classic, it seems
That now she's a Phi Beta Kappa.
--- Harvey L. Carter
Though my intellect's terribly small;
Since I'm good in Phys Ed,
I can major in Bed;
I can't spell, but I know how to ball!
--- Robin K Willoughby P8311
Who had a blind date while at Maine.
She yelled, "Out of sight!"
As he fucked her all night,
For his dick was as long as his cane.
--- David Miller
Who would boff any old fool,
But those with the A's
Know who plays,
And boff Professor O'Doul.
--- Fenderson Parker
Had a tip for becoming a doctor:
"You don't have to cram
For a single exam --
Simply pump the most bribable proctor.
--- Robin K Willoughby P8311
At screwing, none could surpass her.
So she went up to Yale
And peddled her tail,
From the Bulldog up to the Headmaster.
--- G0790
With a mind that's not overly keen,
Graduation is sure
As she's hardly demure,
And has often been seen with the Dean.
--- Cyber Geezer
She's a culinary expert to rate;
Her specialist dish,
Involves lots of fish,
And her pussy, dished up on a plate.
--- Tim Fisher
Who could shatter large rocks with his cock.
But a coed said, "Dear,
Please insert the thing here."
And he fainted away with the shock.
--- Isaac Asimov
"As a freshman did you ever dream
That you'd letter in track?"
She said, "Actually, Jack,
All I thought of was making the team."
--- A N Wilkins P8306A
The discoveries of Dr. DeVere:
Short skirts on the lasses,
High marks in their classes,
Will correlate nicely each year.
--- John E Mayhood P0108
When found with a man, had no skirt on.
She explained to her tutor,
"He thought I looked cuter--
The subject is one he's expert on."
--- Harold C Bibby
When faced with financial adversity,
Let her body be leased
By man, woman or beast.
She strove for biological diversity.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who would do it for only a penny,
She lived just to hump
And to grind her fat rump;
A source of amusement to many.
--- Larry Wilde
Won't fuck but she loves to be eaten.
She dates a young surgeon
Who's also a virgin;
He loves to have his meat beaten.
--- David Miller
French and a little psychology.
What gives her kicks
Though are gentlemen's dicks,
So at night-time she studies whorology.
--- Peter Wilkins
The John must be lean and athletic.
She rides while she quotes,
"I'm just jotting down notes."
To the men, she remains apathetic.
--- Anon
Time pieces and weather-cocks.
But when told horology,
She understood whorology,
And now studies gentlemen's cocks.
--- Anon
Who dressed in the clothes of a midget.
Everyone in the class
Got a look at her ass,
And she'd wink at the prof with her twidget.
--- Big Little Playoy Lims
Got stoned on two glasses of sherry.
And then her professor
Began to undress her --
And was she responsive? Oh very!
--- Hugh Oliver A079A
This is file wvm
Who was at the top of her class.
She studied real hard,
So on her report card,
All of her subjects she'd pass.
--- Holzmille2
Are preserved from the men who would ruin 'em,
By the tales that they've heard
Of the birds who have erred,
And the morals the Fellows imbue in 'em.
--- Anon
"Girls, you sure have to watch Ancey Rance.
He's so hot, he's abrewing,
Better mind what you're doing,
Or you'll wind up with Rance in your pants!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 566
Obtained her degree at the bar;
It was not L.L.B.,
But X.X.Y.Z.,
Which means she had gone pretty far.
--- Lims Unlimited
Cramming's vain, class attendance is vainer.
To get A in Phys Ed
I just worked out in bed,
With the wrestling coach and the trainer."
--- Anon
His parents had felt they had erred.
When they asked him what knowledge
He received while at college,
He replied with a four-letter word.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2120
Was said to just be quite a terror.
His professors were furious;
They perceived him injurious;
A fundamental attribution error.
--- Mikhail Lyubansky
Never bathed in four years, don't you know.
On graduation day
They carried him away
And changed his B.A. to B.O.
--- Tom Patton P0112
With living in slums was distressed.
So he went off to college
To acquire more knowledge,
And a beatnik became like the rest.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2833
Drank up several bottles of sherry;
In the yard around three,
They were shieking with glee:
"Come on out, we are burning a fairy!"
--- VOL 11
From perversity rather than need,
Likes to caper about
With his wang hanging out
And in general scatter his seed.
--- Hugh Oliver A130A
When caught climbing in by the dons,
Explained with deep sighs,
"I'm of too great a size
And so I got stuck in the pons."
--- Harold C Bibby
Said, "This has become too effete a House;
Our deer are too tame--
Things have not been the same
Since we set free the beasts from a cheetah house."
--- Harold C Bibby
Said, "Geometry show this affinity:
Concavo-convex is
Symbolic of sexes,
While arrows denote masculitity."
--- Harold C Bibby
Was making a stench in his beakers;
His professor said, "Ben,
Are you at it again?
I told you to stop cooking sneakers."
--- Lims Unlimited
On campus! Seniors dub them, the unwashed.
But when they arrive
On parties they thrive,
And consider studies, just bosh!
--- Barb
They just might start to squirm.
The Professors insist,
If not on A list,
They accept failure, that's firm!
--- Barb
They study at rate that is furious!
So at that rate,
Some graduate,
And I find it all very curious.
--- Barb
Said, "Calories I must forswear."
So strong was his will,
He fasted until
He'd slimmed into clar(e)ified air.
--- Harold C Bibby
Was 'gated' to seven pip-emma, ( 1900 Hours )
He was seen at Newmarket
In a pub after dark: it
Presented an awkward dilemma.
--- Harold C Bibby
A student of meteorology
Threw in the sponge
And took a long plunge
From the roof of The Massachusetts Institute of Technology.
--- William K Alsop P8910
So get that dumb shit out your head.
Psychology's my degree;
You're the nut in this tree,
So fall off the branch and drop dead.
--- Anon
Was full of syndromes and complexes.
So they sent him to college
In search of pure knowledge,
And to locate himself in the sexes.
--- G2528R
Went in for his final exam.
When he asked if he'd passed
And they said "No, you're last,"
He turned on his heel and said "Damn!"
--- Beda Herbert
Ended up with a D.D. degree.
But the Tweedle-dee-dum
Was just rated dim sum,
After flunkin his first SAT.
--- J Maynard Kaplan
When he hadn't been coming to class,
"Though I'm told I must say
That your psyche's OK,
I'm considering flunking your ass."
--- Cyber Geezer
Had an unfortunate bent.
He liked to paint faces
On public places,
For which he had no talent.
--- Thomas A Ratliff Jr P0401
So use that left cross on your looks.
Save your hooks for the street,
You used piece of meat!
Or better yet, try hitting the books.
--- Anon
Took courses to get Ph.D.'s,
But the courses got tougher
And the sledding got rougher,
And he killed himself off by degrees.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2740
And by some was considered a fool.
But of all Cupid's stunts,
Where they prove stupid cunts,
Its the duds like me, last out the spool.
--- G0176
Spent his first term royally sloshed.
When the next term came by,
He was perpetually high;
Just think of the brain cells he lost!
--- James Riccio
The students say it can assuage
Those lusts that are lost on
The burghers of Boston,
Regardless of gender or age.
--- Barrie Collins
Specializing in students from Yale.
They spent gala nights
Sampling her nude delights,
Which kept half of Yale mighty pale.
--- Grand Prix Lim 635
Conveniently next to a cat house.
If cats had their druthers,
They's take lambs as brothers,
But not goats in sheepskins from that house.
--- Laurence Perrine P9206
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