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The Society of Lyndon B. J. There was a young fellow named Bronson "Though to think," said a fellow named Booth, How vile! How utterly shocking! It was late Forty-one, warm and fair; A White House reporter named Fife The president steps in the shower, Now who in American history Most of those who led our nation, "My troops," Teddy Roosevelt said, Teddy Roosevelt's wife always scoffed With every Pres to the last, The private lives of presidents, They say that ex-President Taft, In bed though Bill Taft had been slick, A little French Poodle named Leon I'm at this U.N. thing, dear Bess; To her friends Mrs. Truman said, "Sure, Fourth Estaters in "Chi" Town were fumin', Look, old Dubya's again on his feet The war-path? Good heavens! No way! You're as honest as the old 'Merkin Prez; I'm much more like Washington (George) "I spoke with a tone that was rattily, Barbara says when on oysters they sup Said Hillary, "Barbara, what game Former President Bush In a principled, forceful attack George Bush is a generous man, Republicans played fast and loose Executions are holiday fun, Georgie Bush, once admired by all, In the great state of Colorado, Dear George, we will have steak and ale The White House flew into a rage, George Bush, now quite hearty and hale, Bush was an innocent old dupe, (F-Troop - 1960's TV series about incompetent cavalry troop)
For her husband, Barbara cried torrents. At the church, as Bush came through the door, (News item Jan 12, 1991, Washington Post)
Well Barb, I've got news for you, Hon; Georgie Bush hopes that memories are dim Georgie Bush fears his prospects are grim A bush that was burning once spoke There once was a shrewd politician We've all heard the rhetoric and quips An man named George Bush was elected One lunchtime, while quaffing some ale, The public insists on a cleaning, Almost every morning one notes A skinhead quit his job in Toledo. When he woke with a hard-on one day, The farmer, he was more smart Last night, I called on Jimmie Carter. Dear Ros, I'm beginning to fear Jimmy Carter came on with a grin I'd forgot about lusting heart Jim Dear Ros, I am in such a rut; There was Roosevelt's tax-saving cuts For peace among all the world's nations, "Oh yes, I have lust in my heart," Among living leaders of state, "One hundred less thirteen...." mused A. L. Dear Abe, Mr. Booth has been kind; God bless Abraham Lincoln's good heart; Lincoln's Gettysburg message of hope Did old "Honest Abe', on wife cheat,
Did not reach to Watts in L.A.
What on TV was shown,
They could not ever own,
So they took it in their unique way.
--- Albin Chaplin
Who dressed for a ball in Wisconsin.
From his head, then perforce,
Hung the tail of a horse,
For he went to the party as Johnson.
--- Albin Chaplin
"That the President lied, seems uncouth.
Many folks are dismayed
Because they're afraid
That he's actually telling the truth."
--- A N Wilkins P8701
Your mother in verse to be mocking!
You are far too depraved
To ever be saved;
There's a President we should be mocking.
--- John Miller
The White House veranda was where
FDR with a wink
Said, "I've reason to think
There will soon be a nip in the air."
--- Don Moore
Had the wackiest dream of his life.
He saw Nixon smoke dope,
JFK goose the Pope,
And Bill Clinton was fucking his wife!
--- Don Moore
Where he glories in God-given power.
Since he cannot sing,
He takes hold of his thing,
And he plays with himself by the hour.
--- Albin Chaplin
Belongs in this long list so blistery?
Our presidents are shit,
The rich roll in it;
So let's leave the question a mystery.
--- G0149
Were guilty of abomination.
But now we may judge
The shit from the fudge --
We've got some real-time information.
--- H Welchel
"Find Cuba sexually dead,
For the whores, whites and blacks,
Will not risk their backs,
By taking Rough Riders to bed."
--- P8205
At his tool's lack of firmness and loft.
When he trod on some gum,
She said, "Teddy, you bum,
You walk sticky and tote a big soft."
--- Bob Giandomenico P8910
There's been ammo to use from his past.
Mudslinging gets rougher,
The country may suffer
If we make every Pres an outcast.
--- LadyJ
Once exclusive to residents
Of the big White House,
Including the spouse,
Have become tabloid precedents.
--- Daniel Ford
When his by a golf gall, once laughed,
And said, "I'm not sore,
But although he called 'Fore'
The place that he hit me was aft."
--- Anon
As years passed, it became quite a trick.
He'd begun to gain weight
At such a fast rate
That the guy couldn't see his own prick.
--- A N Wilkins P8912
Was looking for something to pee on.
With human acumen
He picked Harry Truman,
Upon which we all can agree on.
--- P8202
What happens is anyone's guess.
And now, drat the luck,
Someone's passed the buck;
That motto has me in a mess.
--- Frank Fazed
I dislike Harry's shouting 'Manure!'
But it took me ten years
To teach him, my dears,
Not to say something far more impure!"
--- Vassar Collection P9606
Screaming out, "Good Lord, this is inhuman!"
And what led to such rage
You ask? That front page
Telling Dewey's defeat of H. Truman.
--- Loren C Fitzhugh
And he's treading his old war-path street.
As he's marching along,
With his threatening schlong;
Course I'm not talking George, I mean Pete. (Peter Wilkins)
--- Ulla
From righteousness rarely I stray;
Though sometimes my bone
Has a mind of its own,
And thus causes me trouser affray.
--- Peter Wilkins
What's his name. It was Nixon, oh yes.
Like a saint on a plinth,
Like the young Larry Flinth,
You are chaste, it's your schlong's fault, I guess.
--- Ulla
When ahead with a purpose I forge,
With my underpants dancing
And quickly advancing,
With this is a state of engorge.
--- Peter Wilkins
And always attired myself nattily,
Then died from a cramp
When licking a stamp,"
Said Warren G Harding, philately.
--- Hugh Clary
George behaves like an oversexed pup.
And in bed when they hop
He is always on top,
'Cause the prez doesn't like to screw up.
--- Bob Giandomenico P8911a
In the bedroom that bears Lincoln's name?
We must sand down and fix
Those two little nicks--"
"Oh, yes--George's--those two times he came."
--- Ann Gasser P9311
Was fucking some underage tush.
In the Midst of a tiff,
On the edge of a cliff,
Barbara gave him a push.
--- Gene Brady
Georgie Bush cut the Kremlin no slack.
"If you don't want me sore, be
Nice guys to Gorby,
The legitmate dictator, back."
--- John Sandler P9108
He always gives others a hand.
He promised Billy
He could borrow Millie,
If Hillary starts kicking his can!
--- Anon
And way overcooked our damn goose.
Bush started smart,
Ran against the old fart,
But caved in and ran as caboose.
--- Karen
And you don't need a needle or gun.
You just throw the switch
On the son of a bitch.
When his navel pops out, then he's done!
--- Anon
Finds his rating is now in free fall.
So he'll spread the manure
To increase his allure,
Though the spectacle's sure to appall.
--- John Sandler P9204
Neil Bush ripped off Silverado. (Savings and Loan)
But he got off
With a wink and a cough.
Is "Fuck You" the Bush family motto?
--- MrMalo
This is file wol
For Christmas this year -- it's on sale!
If you do not mind,
I think I'll go blind,
If we have to have more stuffed Quayle!
--- Travis Brasell
When Millie snuck out of her cage.
The book Millie wrote
Must have had a misquote,
For the Prez found her stuck to a page.
--- Actaeon
Knows well that he'll live without fail.
He chose good insurance
For two term endurance,
For next in command is Dan Quayle.
--- Tucker D Ott P8910
Who was nowhere near any damn loop,
Except when he gave us
Our last Veep -- God save us!
To be our next commander (F-Troop).
--- Dhanesh
"My fear for your life such tears warrants!"
But said George, "I can't fail,
I have J. Danforth Quayle
As my assassination insurance!"
--- Cindy Kandolf
He was told by the old Monsignor,
"You can have wishes three."
So Bush said modestly,
"I want war and more war and more war."
--- Al Chaplin P9103
It looks like the end of our run.
They DID read my lips.
Now I've got some tips
That may help our number one son.
--- Frank Fazed
Of the fact he went out on a limb
With his view, "No new taxes,"
Which he broke, but the axe is
Just about to descend upon him.
--- John Sandler P9204
'Cause he dared to go out on a limb
With a vow, "No new taxes,"
That he broke. The climax is
No new term will be given to him.
--- John Sandler P9204
Words of wisdom for all common folk.
But today, so unique,
Hear the lying Bush speak,
Interspersed with a pun and a joke.
--- Phil Cannibal P9205
Who understood voter suspicion.
So he conned the locals,
The wise and the yokels,
And achieved his burning ambition.
--- Gifford Wherry
About taxes and "reading my lips."
But then, when elected,
The pledge was rejected,
By George, the master of flips.
--- Gifford Wherry
By following a madman respected.
He fought the Gulf War,
But then did little more,
And in November was soundly rejected.
--- Anon
George Bush's heart started to fail.
And things got much worse
When a well-meaning nurse
Said, "Don't worry. I've sent for Dan Quayle."
--- Bill Wall
An end to corruption and scheming.
But President Bush
Simply sits on his tush
And gives speeches of limited meaning.
--- Patricia N LimerickP9106
George Bush's belligerent quotes.
But his wishes all bend
Toward the war's rapid end --
Before it starts costing him votes.
--- A N Wilkins P9103
"I can't work for no guy named Guido."
If Bush has his way,
He'll be working some day,
Making burritos in Tijuana, Amigo!
--- John Roberts P9301
Said Jimmy to Roslyn, "Let's play!"
She replied, "Knowing you
I will not get a screw --
You'll undoubtedly piss it away."
--- Ed Potts P9001
Than Bill, whose lies fall apart.
The first time they'd meet him,
He'd not ask them to eat him --
He just lusted for them in his heart.
--- Kaylin Brandon
He admitted he saw Hillary's garter.
He ogled her chest,
And then he confessed.
That Jimmie is quite an upstarter.
--- Anon
We'll be back in Georgia next year.
Those thugs in Iran
Have ruined our plan;
That ACTOR will be living here.
--- Frank Fazed
All over his puss. To begin
It seemed rather cute.
But it's no substitute
For knowing what century you're in.
--- John Ciardi
And his thoughts that he said were a sin.
But the guy we have now
Would fuck even a cow;
I wish we had Jim back again.
--- Mike H
My jeans just don't fit my big butt.
I hear staffers talking
When they see me walking;
They say it looks like a peanut.
--- Travis Brasell
And Kennedy's biting rebuts.
But a Southern self-starter
Called Carter was smarter --
He got where he is on his nuts.
--- Hugh Oliver A139B
Against Human Rights violations,
There's none who worked smarter
Than Jimmy Earl Carter,
So hearty Nobel 'gratulations!
--- Anon
Said the candidate, eyeing a tart,
But -- son of a gun!
It would be much more fun
If it moved to a more private part..."
--- Robin K Willoughby P8411 a
We're afraid Jimmy Carter won't rate.
Instead, he's been snubbed
For the one to be dubbed
Our own Condoleeza The Great.
--- Limerick Savant
"Eight decades plus seven....casts no spell.
Seven dozen add three more....
Eighty seven....version four,
Alas none of these four score too well."
--- Irving Superior P8506
His tickets enclosed you will find,
To Ford's fine theater;
I'll pick you up later.
The night really will blow your mind.
--- Frank Fazed
Today would give him a bad fart.
I'm glad he's not here
To hear with his ears,
That they're tearing his Good Party apart.
--- ndt1
Was majestic in purpose and scope;
Yet, a simple salute,
Writ while riding enroute
On the back of an old envelope.
--- J Maynard Kaplan
While pounding the President's beat?
Or didn't he spurn
To play with intern,
Beneath Oval Office desk seat?
--- Chris Papa
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