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Ronald Reagan, the head of the land, Ron Reagan to Nancy's chagrin There's something that's scary and pagan A student named Nancy wed Ronnie, Said Ronald to Nancy, "Go see The First Lady, you know, Nancy R. (another one I don't get - McW)
These days Ronald Reagan's as vague, You can say what you like about Ronnie; (to be read in a thick Puerto-Rican accent)
My hand on the Bible, I swear, As Bonzo won movieland fame, A well-known ex-actor named Reagan The President's men had a plan (C), "As your new presidential selection, That rotten whore Margaret Thatcher, On observing the Russian atomics Ronald Reagan screamed out in dismay, I, President Ronnie the Rage, Hypertension is clearly the fault Reagan says he'll take the blame Ron's illness is sad, such a pain. The President's eyes often glaze In alternative systems, indeed, Ron Reagan has given (loud cheers!) From good sense Ronald Reagan's retreated; (Published 1982 before Reagan's Alzheimers.. or maybe not)
Though weapons are stockpiled and squirreled A septagenarian president Said Reagan, "O. J. you're the best. Reagan has a growth that's benign. R. Reagan declares that to zing Please note I speak not out of spite -- In the Liberty bash it's foregone Forty-nine out of fifty is good, The President gave us Star Wars Ronald Reagan at first was all hot The US prestige took a dive Ronald Reagan, they say, from the start I solemnly swear or affirm (Ronald Reagans presidential oath)
I pledge to stand up for the right You taxpayers shouldn't relax; I promise to uphold the right For his cabinet, Reagan so vague, Ronnie Reagan had bad constipation, As Ron slept with his dear Nancy Fair, "Since he sleeps in his office, how come The movie protrayed Ronald Reagan Ron Reagan for missiles now begs -- George Washington's father was wary, Twenty thousand leagues under the sea, A young George Washington said, "Gee "Mr. Washington," said Boatswain Choate, At Yorktown the British all wept, George Washington said to his dad, "Thirteen colonies," George said, "I'll free 'em. In the Colonies, George made it big, George Washington told the brigade George Washington, the Delaware. George Washington won some renown, George Washington, his portrait file. I wrote her from old Valley Forge: On George, "I cannot tell a lie," George Washington at Valley Forge Dear Martha, on taking your dare, On view at Mount Vernon: a wreath, George said, "I can not tell a lie." Well broads, we are full of compassion; I was driving on top of a levee (bevy - group of 1. quail 2. amorous women)
Came to visit his strink, Dr. Rand.
Said the shrink, "You can lie
On the couch." Ron asked, "Why?
I can lie very well when I stand!"
--- Phil Cannibal P9001
Met his fate when a lion did him in.
The result of all that,
He found when he shat
'Twas the same as the stuff that went in.
--- Phil Cannibal P9001
About naming things for Ronald Reagan,
As if repeating his name
Could rekindle the flame
And his obsolete dogma awaken.
--- Dr Limerick
She thought him quite handsome and brawny
Until their wedding night
When he broached her with fright,
For his pubes were orange-haired and scrawny!
--- LaDonna Jones P8411
If some votes you can gather for me."
Said Nancy, "Don't fret,
Your votes I will get."
So she kissed Mr. T on TV.
--- Albin Chaplin
Was once courted by the fancy star.
He was keen on confessing
To smart word processing.
NCR was outworded by far.
--- Bill Backe-Hansen P8411
Of world affairs as an egg.
Now the most fun he gets
Is when one of her pets
Jumps up and humps on his leg.
--- John Chastaine TP9802
His political stance is not fonnie,
But it could be much harder --
We still might have Carter
(Who would beat up a poor lettle bonnie...)
--- Robin K Willoughby P8411
By my only slightly dyed hair.
There'll be wealth for all.
But mostly Clairol,
For I own much more than one share.
--- Larry Davis P8501
His co-star received the acclaim.
Now Bonzo is gone;
His co-star lives on
And plays the political game.
--- R J Winkler P8408
Kissed the cheek of the mad-bomber Begin.
This cosmic connection
Gave both an erection,
Which pissed off the celebrity Sagan.
--- Neal Wilgus P8205
And they all agreed to a man, see.
They'd give Ronnie a push
And hide behind Bush.
But what would they do about Nan(cy)?
--- Neal Wilgus P8607
I'll govern with love and affection;
To Nancy, I've said,
'On your back, in the bed:'
So from screwing up, I have protection."
--- Ed Potts P8501
Had a vicious fuck; no one could match her.
Said President Reagan
As he pulled out his pee-gun,
"That's no beaver, my pet, that's a badger."
--- Gene Brady
And studying Superman comics,
I think it's an error
To counteract terror
With gas, bombs, and Reaganonomics.
--- C O Ingamelis P8411
When he saw his old films, "I must say
It's a very hard fact,
I must learn to act."
And that's what he does every day.
--- Frank Richards
Despite my incredible age,
Will protect this great country
From every affont'ry;
Will the script man now please turn the page!
--- C R Openshaw P8501
Of the Kremlin," said Reagan. "To halt
Its increasing for sure,
I'm providing the cure.
I'll simply eliminate SALT.
--- A N Wilkins P8608
For the Beirut bombing. What a shame,
A lousy actor
Being a factor
In settling the world aflame.
--- Maurice Zallen P8402
Why this happened, no one can explain.
Some transplant success
Gives us hope, but the press
Says as yet there's no transplant of brain.
--- Ann Gasser
When the Cabinet's colloquy strays.
The meetings go on,
Though it's bedtime for Ron,
Who is back in his Death Valley Days.
--- Chris Doyle P8805
There are policies based upon greed;
But in ours, it is merit
Which determines -- I swear it --
How much welfare the wealthiest need.
--- Thomas A Quinine P8501
Us wonderful things for four years:
The Meeses, old cheeses,
Oil leases, and Jesus...
And a mixed bag of nuclear fears.
--- Arthur Deex P8405
My regard for him is depleted.
He started so well,
Then became nutty as hell.
Now he's just another expletive deleted.
--- Ed Wolfert P8205
And horrible insults are hurled,
My nuclear arm
Is no cause for alarm --
I swear I won't blow up the world.
--- Esther M Leiper P850
Has entered the White House as resident.
He loves our great land,
But to buy second-hand
A car from him, I would be hesitant.
--- Ed Wolfert P8205
We're so glad you're out of that mess.
We hope you'll come see
Both Nancy and me,
When you and Nicole come out West."
--- Theo M Weller P9512
A diagnosis that he thinks is fine.
The real growth, however,
Which is as light as a feather,
Is the lump at the top of his spine.
--- Maurice Zallen P8406
The deficit he needs one thing.
With real tax reform
He'll weather the storm,
And "Debt," he'll ask, "where is thy sting."
--- A N Wilkins P8607
Reagan wants to do good and do right --
He's suave, I suppose,
In manner and clothes,
But frankly, Jane Wyman was right.
--- LaDonna Jones P8411a
That the President had to be drawn
For lighting the lamp
Which shows that this gramp
Can still turn a female type on.
--- A N Wilkins P8608
And Ron did the best that he could.
But old Minnesota
Is now "East Dakota"
And the ten thousand lakes are all mud.
--- C R Openshaw P8501
And the people all screamed for lots more.
The budget's in red,
And the people quite bled,
But ready and willing like whores.
--- Bob Jones P8409
This is file wml
For Judge Ginsburg, and then he was not.
Quite visibly pained,
The Gipper explained,
"We can't have The Court going to pot."
--- A N Wilkins P8912
While the Contra/Iran scandals thrive.
But you'll have to agree
That this just wouldn't be
If Ron Reagan had still been alive.
--- Arthur Deex P8912
Had so mastered the horseperson's art
That today he perforce
Seems part of the horse,
But what they don't say is which part.
--- A N Wilkins P8907
I'll serve in the White house this term
With grandeur and poise
Amid mandated joys.
Amen. The Grand Old Pachyderm.
--- Arthur Deex P8412
Of government force in a fight.
We sha'nt let be strong
Those left, who are wrong.
I pledge to stand up for the right.
--- Laurence Perrine P8501
I spurn my opponent's attacks;
I swear by this oath,
To show I'm not loath
To raise both my hand and your tax.
--- R J Winkler P8501
Of the rich to get richer by might.
And if things go at all well,
I'll appoint Jerry Falwell
As First Lord of Truth and of Light.
--- Laurence Perrine P8501
Chose a man who would let loose a plague.
So we sit and we pray
And we long for the day
When the last atom bomb blows up Haig.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-3019
A problem with elimination.
A true politition,
He cured his condition
With verbalized regurgitation.
--- Neal Wilgus P8209
He reached for a tit that was bare.
Then he felt for her snatch
But drew back with dispatch,
When he found Frankie's tongue was still there.
--- Al Chaplin P9402
He vacations so frequently, chum?"
The reporter, a pro,
Said "What I want to know
Is what he's vacationing from."
--- A N Wilkins P8709
As something far worse than a pagan.
But Barbra Streisand
Got a suprise and
Matt Drudge looks as smart as Carl Sagan.
--- John Miller
Take care for we're treading on eggs.
So beware of his charms,
If we vote for his arms,
It may cost us an couple of legs.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2940
But George told a story contrary:
"I was far from that tree
And in nine months you'll see,
I was taking the neighbor girl's cherry."
--- Don Moore P0209
Is where all politicians should be.
Their facts are all wet,
There's been no truth yet,
Since George and the old cherry tree.
--- Jumping Jack
Will they name a city after me,
In the event
That I'm president?
I sure hope that it's not Milwaukee."
--- Tom Patton P9501
"This is not the best vessel afloat,
But we'll make it," he swore,
"To the opposite shore
If you'll sit down and not rock the boat."
--- A N Wilkins P8406
For defeat's always hard to accept.
They thought it a shame
They never could claim
That there George Washington never had slept.
--- Pedro J Saavedra P8205
"You know that big fruit-tree you had?
I've just chopped it down.
Now Father, Don't frown.
I can't tell a lie. Aren't you glad?"
--- Frank Richards
And since I call 'em just like I see 'em,
Pay me no fixed amounts,
I'll file expense accounts."
George was first to carpe the per diem.
--- Loren Fitzhugh
When he stated "George Third is a prig."
Royalists said, "You're a spook
And wear one bad peruke."
George said, "That's no peruke, it's a WHIG!"
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9811
On the Delaware, "Men, I'm afraid,
Since advantage here lies
In total surprise,
The decision is Roe v. Wade."
--- Maurine LaCaff P9112
Not only snipers everywhere,
His troops could not afford
A "George overboard."
That's George's stand-in standin' there.
--- Irving Superior P9001
Fessing up 'bout the tree he cut down.
But "You dope!" was the quote
When he stood in that boat.
"Sit down! If you fall in, you'll drown."
--- Larry Hollister
Since wooden dentures were the style,
Tight-lipped he would pose
For each artist knows
He'd get splinters if he would smile.
--- Irving Superior P9001
"Dear Martha, thy sticky brown gorge...
I miss it so well...
I dream of thy smell...
Oh Blimey, I've stepped in some George!"
--- H Welchel
We know he chopped but don't know why.
Improve the view?
Build up his thew?
"I'm sick and tired of cherry pie!"
--- Irving Superior P9502
Where hungry soldiers dream of gorg-
Ous women they'd eat,
Or use for their heat,
When they would from the Valley forge.
--- Irving Superior P9001
I did cross the cold Delaware.
But I nearly froze
My tail to my toes;
Next time I WILL wear underwear!
--- Travis Brasell
His ceremonial sword in its sheath,
His gold epaulets,
Brass buttons (two sets),
And one set of wooden false teeth.
--- Laurence Perrine P9501
His father said, "Never say die!
If you put your will to it,
I'm sure you can do it.
But you must make a really hard try."
--- Laurence Perrine P900
We hand out your daily come ration.
Every night a good boff;
It should be enough,
Executed in orderly fashion.
--- Anon
In my custom-built '64 Chevy.
I pulled over to sleep;
When I woke to a beep,
And found me attacked by a bevy.
--- Boxer T9801
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