My panties from Secret Victoria
Don't come, but they've got a storia.
With my legs open wide
And my man deep inside,
They've been known to shout upwards, "Gloria!"
--- Anon

A London young lady of leisure,
Who played the piano for pleasure,
Had sung high and low,
Till, reaching high do,
Her panties went "ping" from the pressure!
--- Clarkscript

An old dry goods vendor named Wales
Said, "Think what I'd ring up in sales,
If the town's hundred whores
Would decide to wear drawers,
To cover their hard-working tails!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 149

Screamed a maiden, "Oh Sir, I feel faint;
'Pon my word, free and easy I ain't.
And since male thoughts are slime,
So I wear all the time
Wooly bloomers that no one shall taint."
--- Val Burns P0510Q

But when later, hair tangled and messed,
She called out. "Wow, this is the best!"
The cause and effect
Left the guy feeling wrecked,
And he had to go home for a rest!
--- Val Burns P0510Q

A gal soon learns this little knack,
When her panties get caught in her crack --
If the pressure is steady,
It helps to get ready --
Just wriggle from frontward to back!
--- Peter Wilkins

"Indeed," said an actress named Dix,
"We played safe when we toured in the sticks.
In case men attacked us,
We wore panties of cactus--
Is life just a succession of pricks?"
--- G0564A

A fastidious girl in Manila,
Whose panties were lined with chinchilla,
Said, "One thing money brings
Is a taste for fine things,
And fabulous screws in my villa."
--- G0693

Expecting for Christmas from Kate,
Dead whores or something to inflate.
"I instead," she snickers,
"Bought edible knickers!
And they're not past their "Eat-by-Date".
--- David Miller

The drawers of a spinster from Lavonham
Had rude limericks embroidered in Slav on 'em.
To her lawyer she said,
"Burn them all when I'm dead,
For I'm damned if my nephew is having 'em."
--- Wordsworth Book Lim P9711

The Dowager Duchess of Mole
Wore ermine-lined drawers (dear old soul),
She found they provided
A snugness decided-
ly welcome on jaunts to the Pole.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

The news about Tid is today,
British sheep have turned him away.
But lo and behold:
I've also been told:
He's now into French lingerie.
--- Dirruk

The weird explanation from Abel
Has now been exposed as a fable:
"I wanted to restring
But found that a G-string
At Minsky's was more like a cable."
--- Kilburn K Holt P8806

There once was a lady from Maine
Who cried when her panties were plain.
She liked purple dots
Or little green spots
And striped ones just drove her insane.
--- Anon

She only wore panties of cotton;
Thought all nylon panties were rotten;
Was not of the ilk
For panties of silk.
Through those things she might get begotten.
--- Anon

If you seek erotic sensations
That do not involve aberations,
You might get a boot
From a sunflower suit
And some underwear made of carnations.
--- Norm Storer P9711

A rainbow of colors I wear,
Both silken and lace, dear Pierre.
But if I feel flirty,
With thoughts kinds dirty,
I might leave them home and go bare.
--- Anon

Assortment of colors is grand,
I wear shorts to cover my gland.
By end of the week,
They're brown on each cheek,
And the front of them? Yellowed or tanned!
--- Anon

The thickest of cottons I wear!
(With all of these teeth and this hair,
I oft need a blotter,
When I'm feeling hotter,
To soak up the drooling down there.)
--- Anon

There was a young lady named Kerr,
Whose step-ins were made out of fur.
When they asked, "Is it fun?"
She replied, "It's a son-
Of-a-gun to make pussy purr!"
--- L1454

While spending some time with my slattern,
I saw an emerging new pattern.
She'll wear just a thong -
I think that it's wrong -
It's not even made of red satin
--- Archie

Relax Arch and first take a drink;
Immaterial's the color I think;
Whether panty or thong
Is confronting your dong,
As long as the content is pink.
--- Dirruk

I must say I am very much taken
That a panty's what's gotten you shaken.
Whether purple or pink,
Quick as eyes can blink,
They'll be gone when you're pleasing your bacon.
--- Nawahl

What I find's a more serious issue,
Is when ladies cannot use a tissue.
And their undies or slacks
Show brownish-y tracks,
Disgusting, Haikona!, agh sies you!

(haikona - no way, South African surf slang)
--- Nawahl

I once wore a little red thong,
My husband's delight to prolong.
But it made him too randy;
He pounced on me and he
Got it wrapped round the end of his dong.
--- Jeanie

Confession: I once tried to squeeze
Into wee satin panties cerise,
But my tackle didn't fit
And they kind of - well - split,
Which annoyed my then girlfriend Louise.
--- Peter Wilkins

So tiny they were and so tight,
That I had the most terrible fight
With my testicle (left),
Which extruded bereft
Of the satin which covered my right.
--- Peter Wilkins

But tucking my testicle (left),
To the right, left my right one bereft
Of material too;
It was quite a to do,
Though with panties I'm usually deft.
--- Peter Wilkins

I squashed 'em together; but no,
Either one or the other hung low;
And the fight (I divulge)
Caused material bulge,
Which continued to outwardly grow.
--- Peter Wilkins

Just then sweet Louise interrupted
Complaining, "By god, you're corrupted!
You're wrecking my pants!"
But I didn't stand a chance
For they ripped as the contents erupted.
--- Peter Wilkins

That's really a pisser, now innit?
Trying to get your whole package down in it.
But the truth, I must say,
If with me you did play,
That you'd only be in them a minute.
--- Anon

Thong undies are part of a catch
Of fashionwear which earned a batch
Of dough for designers,
Since they're so big with minors;
Just a waistband, strings and a snatch patch.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0607

There was a young maid with a panty
That seemed to be overly scanty,
And I said to her, "Miss,
If you choose to wear this,
You cannot remain in my shanty."
--- Limber Limericks

This is file whm

The Eurostar management keeps
Placing adverts for geezers to sweep
Up the debris and stuff
From the trackside; enough
To form, daily, a mountainous heap.
--- Peter Wilkins

For the tunnel from Britain to France
Is a place of illicit romance;
And from April to June
Thru' October is strewn
With more pants than dictated by chance.
--- Peter Wilkins

All feminine; old ones and new
Ones in leopard-print, orange and blue.
Then there's virginal white ones,
Transparently tight ones,
And others of every hue.
--- Peter Wilkins

The blokes volunteering to work
There collecting those panties don't shirk.
Though they never get paid
More than benefit aid,
For the job in itself is a perk.
--- Peter Wilkins

So what then becomes of those panties
And similar feminine scanties?
Well, some get abused
If the guys get "enthused"
Although others are given to aunties ..
--- Peter Wilkins

Or girlfriends or sisters or wives
Or themselves, if their pleasure derives
From the wearing of such;
Although no-one can touch
The enormous collection of Clive's.
--- Peter Wilkins

For Clive, who has more than a whim
And a fancy for second-hand quim,
Owns a house near the docks
Which is chock-full of frocks
And of panties is full to the brim.
--- Peter Wilkins

But back to the tunnel. The rest
Of the workers are working with zest
Piling panties in heap
Upon heap as they sweep,
Like an army of devils possessed.
--- Peter Wilkins

And now come the sorters who sort
Them. For most it's their favorite sport
After football and beer
So they, too, volunteer
For again it's a job that pays naught.
--- Peter Wilkins

Discarding the black ones and white ones,
The loose and the overly-tight ones,
The greens and the blues
And most others, they choose
Only red ones, for those are the right ones.
--- Peter Wilkins

The right ones for what? You may ask
As you take a wee sip from a flask.
(Yes I'm biding my time,
But at least it's a rhyme)
And my answer? They're right for the task.
--- Peter Wilkins

The task? Well, I'll have to explain
Rather more 'bout the Eurostar train.
Here in Britain the tracks
Are oft found to have cracks,
And take years to repair in the main.
--- Peter Wilkins

In France, 'cross the channel, are trains
Which go faster than physics ordains.
They go whistling by
In the blink of an eye,
Over mountainous regions and plains.
--- Peter Wilkins

Now Eurostar trains after leaving
The station in Paris go weaving
Their way north to Dover,
Through fields full of clover,
At speeds which take quite some believing.
--- Peter Wilkins

In seconds, the tunnel they breech
Next to Calais, but soon as they reach
A position half-way
Between France and UK,
Then the brakes are applied with a screech.
--- Peter Wilkins

At Dover they come to a stand,
For continuing further is banned,
Without help from a man
With a hat on called Stan,
Who is rarely if ever at hand.
--- Peter Wilkins

Now Stan is the man with the wax-
Coated tatty old map of the tracks
And emergency flares,
Who makes instant repairs
(If he can) to the railway-line cracks.
--- Peter Wilkins

Now Stan is the man on the tracks,
Who repairs all the gaps and the cracks;
He keeps a red flag
And some flares in his bag,
But it's tools, such as hammers, he lacks.
--- Peter Wilkins

He's proud of the hat on his head
And his uniform jacket of red;
His newly pressed trizers
And underpant risers
(Intended for shoes, I'd have said).
--- Peter Wilkins

But nevertheless he looks smart;
An ideal sort of bloke for the part
Of guiding the racketty
Trains here, if ever they start.
--- Peter Wilkins

He taps every rail as he walks
And the dodgiest-looking he chalks;
Then flags down the driver
(Who's always called Ivor)
And into a telephone talks.
--- Peter Wilkins

Right now I should mention it's not
A new-fangled type mobile he's got;
He walks up the track
'Til he finds one, then back
To ask Ivor for coins for the slot.
--- Peter Wilkins

And having reported the cracks,
He returns by the side of the tracks.
Then Ivor and he
Brew a hot cuppa tea,
While they wait for the man with the axe.
--- Peter Wilkins

It's true that the passengers fret
On occasions and seem to forget
Repairs can take hours,
If the forecast is showers;
Maybe days (even weeks) if it's wet.
--- Peter Wilkins

But Stanley, the man with the hat,
Tells them all to piss off and that's that.
He knows how to curb all
The backchat and verbal
With pleasantries, banter and chat.
--- Peter Wilkins

If sometimes a passenger swears
About waiting around for repairs.
Then Stan has a trick;
He says, "Where shall I stick
These explosive emergency flares?"
--- Peter Wilkins

Then whispers a silent "Kaboom!"
And thus faced with the prospect of doom,
The passenger quits
All his verbals and sits
Like a lamb in the gathering gloom.
--- Peter Wilkins

And Stanley goes back to his tea
To join Ivor for cup number three.
They talk about cracks
And the man with the axe
And take bets on how long he will be.
--- Peter Wilkins

The man with the axe, name of Jack,
Was lazing around in his shack
When, whaddya know? A
Loud ring from the blower --
'Twas Stanley, the man on the track.
--- Peter Wilkins

"Hey Jack, can you maybe come out?"
"No; not if it's raining without."
"You don't have to grizzle,
It's only a drizzle."
"So why in my shack is a trout?"
--- Peter Wilkins

"Oh come, get a grip on your life;
That's no way to speak of your wife.
Now have you that axe
To take care of these cracks?"
"No, I've left the damn thing up in Fife."
--- Peter Wilkins

"But Eurostar's stuck on the tracks
'Twixt Dover and London. The cracks
Prevent it from going.
What's that?" "I'm just blowing
Relaxing-type jazz on my sax."
--- Peter Wilkins

"For heavens sake, Jack, are you deaf?
A passenger here name of Geoff
Is going .. " "Eh, what?
I'm most certainly not,
But for you I shall try a new clef."
--- Peter Wilkins

"...Is going bananas." "OK.
I'll go up to Fife right away
And look on the tracks
For my track-repair axe,
And come back to where did you say?"
--- Peter Wilkins