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My panties from Secret Victoria A London young lady of leisure, An old dry goods vendor named Wales Screamed a maiden, "Oh Sir, I feel faint; But when later, hair tangled and messed, A gal soon learns this little knack, "Indeed," said an actress named Dix, A fastidious girl in Manila, Expecting for Christmas from Kate, The drawers of a spinster from Lavonham The Dowager Duchess of Mole The news about Tid is today, The weird explanation from Abel There once was a lady from Maine She only wore panties of cotton; If you seek erotic sensations A rainbow of colors I wear, Assortment of colors is grand, The thickest of cottons I wear! There was a young lady named Kerr, While spending some time with my slattern, Relax Arch and first take a drink; I must say I am very much taken What I find's a more serious issue, (haikona - no way, South African surf slang)
I once wore a little red thong, Confession: I once tried to squeeze So tiny they were and so tight, But tucking my testicle (left), I squashed 'em together; but no, Just then sweet Louise interrupted That's really a pisser, now innit? Thong undies are part of a catch There was a young maid with a panty The Eurostar management keeps For the tunnel from Britain to France All feminine; old ones and new The blokes volunteering to work So what then becomes of those panties Or girlfriends or sisters or wives For Clive, who has more than a whim But back to the tunnel. The rest And now come the sorters who sort Discarding the black ones and white ones, The right ones for what? You may ask The task? Well, I'll have to explain In France, 'cross the channel, are trains Now Eurostar trains after leaving In seconds, the tunnel they breech At Dover they come to a stand, Now Stan is the man with the wax- Now Stan is the man on the tracks, He's proud of the hat on his head But nevertheless he looks smart; He taps every rail as he walks Right now I should mention it's not And having reported the cracks, It's true that the passengers fret But Stanley, the man with the hat, If sometimes a passenger swears Then whispers a silent "Kaboom!" And Stanley goes back to his tea The man with the axe, name of Jack, "Hey Jack, can you maybe come out?" "Oh come, get a grip on your life; "But Eurostar's stuck on the tracks "For heavens sake, Jack, are you deaf? "...Is going bananas." "OK.
Don't come, but they've got a storia.
With my legs open wide
And my man deep inside,
They've been known to shout upwards, "Gloria!"
--- Anon
Who played the piano for pleasure,
Had sung high and low,
Till, reaching high do,
Her panties went "ping" from the pressure!
--- Clarkscript
Said, "Think what I'd ring up in sales,
If the town's hundred whores
Would decide to wear drawers,
To cover their hard-working tails!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 149
'Pon my word, free and easy I ain't.
And since male thoughts are slime,
So I wear all the time
Wooly bloomers that no one shall taint."
--- Val Burns P0510Q
She called out. "Wow, this is the best!"
The cause and effect
Left the guy feeling wrecked,
And he had to go home for a rest!
--- Val Burns P0510Q
When her panties get caught in her crack --
If the pressure is steady,
It helps to get ready --
Just wriggle from frontward to back!
--- Peter Wilkins
"We played safe when we toured in the sticks.
In case men attacked us,
We wore panties of cactus--
Is life just a succession of pricks?"
--- G0564A
Whose panties were lined with chinchilla,
Said, "One thing money brings
Is a taste for fine things,
And fabulous screws in my villa."
--- G0693
Dead whores or something to inflate.
"I instead," she snickers,
"Bought edible knickers!
And they're not past their "Eat-by-Date".
--- David Miller
Had rude limericks embroidered in Slav on 'em.
To her lawyer she said,
"Burn them all when I'm dead,
For I'm damned if my nephew is having 'em."
--- Wordsworth Book Lim P9711
Wore ermine-lined drawers (dear old soul),
She found they provided
A snugness decided-
ly welcome on jaunts to the Pole.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
British sheep have turned him away.
But lo and behold:
I've also been told:
He's now into French lingerie.
--- Dirruk
Has now been exposed as a fable:
"I wanted to restring
But found that a G-string
At Minsky's was more like a cable."
--- Kilburn K Holt P8806
Who cried when her panties were plain.
She liked purple dots
Or little green spots
And striped ones just drove her insane.
--- Anon
Thought all nylon panties were rotten;
Was not of the ilk
For panties of silk.
Through those things she might get begotten.
--- Anon
That do not involve aberations,
You might get a boot
From a sunflower suit
And some underwear made of carnations.
--- Norm Storer P9711
Both silken and lace, dear Pierre.
But if I feel flirty,
With thoughts kinds dirty,
I might leave them home and go bare.
--- Anon
I wear shorts to cover my gland.
By end of the week,
They're brown on each cheek,
And the front of them? Yellowed or tanned!
--- Anon
(With all of these teeth and this hair,
I oft need a blotter,
When I'm feeling hotter,
To soak up the drooling down there.)
--- Anon
Whose step-ins were made out of fur.
When they asked, "Is it fun?"
She replied, "It's a son-
Of-a-gun to make pussy purr!"
--- L1454
I saw an emerging new pattern.
She'll wear just a thong -
I think that it's wrong -
It's not even made of red satin
--- Archie
Immaterial's the color I think;
Whether panty or thong
Is confronting your dong,
As long as the content is pink.
--- Dirruk
That a panty's what's gotten you shaken.
Whether purple or pink,
Quick as eyes can blink,
They'll be gone when you're pleasing your bacon.
--- Nawahl
Is when ladies cannot use a tissue.
And their undies or slacks
Show brownish-y tracks,
Disgusting, Haikona!, agh sies you!
--- Nawahl
My husband's delight to prolong.
But it made him too randy;
He pounced on me and he
Got it wrapped round the end of his dong.
--- Jeanie
Into wee satin panties cerise,
But my tackle didn't fit
And they kind of - well - split,
Which annoyed my then girlfriend Louise.
--- Peter Wilkins
That I had the most terrible fight
With my testicle (left),
Which extruded bereft
Of the satin which covered my right.
--- Peter Wilkins
To the right, left my right one bereft
Of material too;
It was quite a to do,
Though with panties I'm usually deft.
--- Peter Wilkins
Either one or the other hung low;
And the fight (I divulge)
Caused material bulge,
Which continued to outwardly grow.
--- Peter Wilkins
Complaining, "By god, you're corrupted!
You're wrecking my pants!"
But I didn't stand a chance
For they ripped as the contents erupted.
--- Peter Wilkins
Trying to get your whole package down in it.
But the truth, I must say,
If with me you did play,
That you'd only be in them a minute.
--- Anon
Of fashionwear which earned a batch
Of dough for designers,
Since they're so big with minors;
Just a waistband, strings and a snatch patch.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0607
That seemed to be overly scanty,
And I said to her, "Miss,
If you choose to wear this,
You cannot remain in my shanty."
--- Limber Limericks
This is file whm
Placing adverts for geezers to sweep
Up the debris and stuff
From the trackside; enough
To form, daily, a mountainous heap.
--- Peter Wilkins
Is a place of illicit romance;
And from April to June
Thru' October is strewn
With more pants than dictated by chance.
--- Peter Wilkins
Ones in leopard-print, orange and blue.
Then there's virginal white ones,
Transparently tight ones,
And others of every hue.
--- Peter Wilkins
There collecting those panties don't shirk.
Though they never get paid
More than benefit aid,
For the job in itself is a perk.
--- Peter Wilkins
And similar feminine scanties?
Well, some get abused
If the guys get "enthused"
Although others are given to aunties ..
--- Peter Wilkins
Or themselves, if their pleasure derives
From the wearing of such;
Although no-one can touch
The enormous collection of Clive's.
--- Peter Wilkins
And a fancy for second-hand quim,
Owns a house near the docks
Which is chock-full of frocks
And of panties is full to the brim.
--- Peter Wilkins
Of the workers are working with zest
Piling panties in heap
Upon heap as they sweep,
Like an army of devils possessed.
--- Peter Wilkins
Them. For most it's their favorite sport
After football and beer
So they, too, volunteer
For again it's a job that pays naught.
--- Peter Wilkins
The loose and the overly-tight ones,
The greens and the blues
And most others, they choose
Only red ones, for those are the right ones.
--- Peter Wilkins
As you take a wee sip from a flask.
(Yes I'm biding my time,
But at least it's a rhyme)
And my answer? They're right for the task.
--- Peter Wilkins
Rather more 'bout the Eurostar train.
Here in Britain the tracks
Are oft found to have cracks,
And take years to repair in the main.
--- Peter Wilkins
Which go faster than physics ordains.
They go whistling by
In the blink of an eye,
Over mountainous regions and plains.
--- Peter Wilkins
The station in Paris go weaving
Their way north to Dover,
Through fields full of clover,
At speeds which take quite some believing.
--- Peter Wilkins
Next to Calais, but soon as they reach
A position half-way
Between France and UK,
Then the brakes are applied with a screech.
--- Peter Wilkins
For continuing further is banned,
Without help from a man
With a hat on called Stan,
Who is rarely if ever at hand.
--- Peter Wilkins
Coated tatty old map of the tracks
And emergency flares,
Who makes instant repairs
(If he can) to the railway-line cracks.
--- Peter Wilkins
Who repairs all the gaps and the cracks;
He keeps a red flag
And some flares in his bag,
But it's tools, such as hammers, he lacks.
--- Peter Wilkins
And his uniform jacket of red;
His newly pressed trizers
And underpant risers
(Intended for shoes, I'd have said).
--- Peter Wilkins
An ideal sort of bloke for the part
Of guiding the racketty
Clicketty-clacketty
Trains here, if ever they start.
--- Peter Wilkins
And the dodgiest-looking he chalks;
Then flags down the driver
(Who's always called Ivor)
And into a telephone talks.
--- Peter Wilkins
A new-fangled type mobile he's got;
He walks up the track
'Til he finds one, then back
To ask Ivor for coins for the slot.
--- Peter Wilkins
He returns by the side of the tracks.
Then Ivor and he
Brew a hot cuppa tea,
While they wait for the man with the axe.
--- Peter Wilkins
On occasions and seem to forget
Repairs can take hours,
If the forecast is showers;
Maybe days (even weeks) if it's wet.
--- Peter Wilkins
Tells them all to piss off and that's that.
He knows how to curb all
The backchat and verbal
With pleasantries, banter and chat.
--- Peter Wilkins
About waiting around for repairs.
Then Stan has a trick;
He says, "Where shall I stick
These explosive emergency flares?"
--- Peter Wilkins
And thus faced with the prospect of doom,
The passenger quits
All his verbals and sits
Like a lamb in the gathering gloom.
--- Peter Wilkins
To join Ivor for cup number three.
They talk about cracks
And the man with the axe
And take bets on how long he will be.
--- Peter Wilkins
Was lazing around in his shack
When, whaddya know? A
Loud ring from the blower --
'Twas Stanley, the man on the track.
--- Peter Wilkins
"No; not if it's raining without."
"You don't have to grizzle,
It's only a drizzle."
"So why in my shack is a trout?"
--- Peter Wilkins
That's no way to speak of your wife.
Now have you that axe
To take care of these cracks?"
"No, I've left the damn thing up in Fife."
--- Peter Wilkins
'Twixt Dover and London. The cracks
Prevent it from going.
What's that?" "I'm just blowing
Relaxing-type jazz on my sax."
--- Peter Wilkins
A passenger here name of Geoff
Is going .. " "Eh, what?
I'm most certainly not,
But for you I shall try a new clef."
--- Peter Wilkins
I'll go up to Fife right away
And look on the tracks
For my track-repair axe,
And come back to ...er... where did you say?"
--- Peter Wilkins
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