"To Dover; for that's where we're stuck."
"I say, Stan, that's awful bad luck.
I'll just play the blues
Now for Ivor and you'se,
Or this piano concerto by Gluck."
--- Peter Wilkins

"Now Jack, don't you dare even start;
Get going, it's time to depart."
"OK then, but Stan,
If you possibly can,
Can you lend me your railway-track chart?"
--- Peter Wilkins

"I fear that my tatty old maps
Are now on the point of collapse;
But don't gimme strife,
Mate, just eff off to Fife
And locate your old track-axe." "Perhaps."
--- Peter Wilkins

"Perhaps? But that isn't enough."
"I'm kidding you Stan, I won't bluff."
"Just see that my tracks
Are repaired with your axe ..
As for passengers - couldn't give a stuff."
--- Peter Wilkins

He walks just in front of the train,
If it's dry and not pissing in rain.
For he finds that his knees
Get arthritic and freeze,
If it's wetter and colder than Spain.
--- Peter Wilkins

Though stopping a train has its snags,
If the railway track buckles and sags,
Good old Stanley refuses
New methods and chooses
Red panties as semaphore flags.
--- Peter Wilkins

So that's why the sweepers go sweep,
And the sorters go sort every heap
Of discarded old pants,
Between Britain and France
And it's only the red ones they keep.
--- Peter Wilkins

That train with finesse also bustles
To Belgium and ends up at Brussels,
There's girls called Walloons,
With big soft balloons,
And Flemings who'll tone fellows' muscles.
--- Peter Wilkins

Those discarded piles of red scanties
Just show where Pete plays gallanties,
Removes excess luggage,
Commits Litterbuggage,
Exposing his lady's enchanties.
--- Archie

He travels the Euro-train tunnel,
Exploring his favorite love funnel.
Through open windows
Discarding his clothes,
And then he's inserting his trunnel!
--- Archie

Just then the conductor calls "Ticket
Please. Show me so I can just click it.
Leave you in your piece --
OOps -- leave you in peace.
The lady as well, I must prick it.
--- Archie

The passengers peer through the door,
At the spectacle there on the floor.
With Pete's tail a-waggin',
And both of them shaggin',
The crowd is all crying for more.
--- Archie

When she espies all of the viewers,
She winks as she flips her pet screwer.
And now she's atop
To bounce on his prop.
How much can Pete's peter endure?
--- Archie

Friend Tracey, though, knows what she's doing;
She cannot be bothered with wooing.
She flashes her pants
In the hope of romance,
Or a once-a-week Friday night screwing.
--- Anon

There was a young girl named Elias,
Whose panties were cut on the bias.
In back was a loop,
Through which she could poop,
And through which she got laid once or twice.
--- L0727

Petal, get out of that bed
And stop sleeping. Get ready instead
For a day-trip or more
To that lingerie store,
Where you purchased those panties of red.
--- Peter Wilkins

The pair you have on are all torn
And they're looking a little forlorn;
If you're somewhat confused
How they got so abused,
I confess that they give me the horn.
--- Peter Wilkins

Whenever I can, I've been wearing 'em.
(That's how they got that great tear in 'em.)
Now I confessed.
May I humbly suggest
That we buy with a view to us sharin' em?
--- Peter Wilkins

I have a weird boyfriend named Grant; he's
Got a fetish for sniffing girl's panties;
He, ofttimes, borrows mine,
And returns them just fine,
But chewed up the whole crotch on my auntie's.
--- Robin K Willoughby P8710

A brunette from Moscow it's said,
Would take anyone up to her bed,
In exchange for some scanties
And tight crotchless panties,
As long as the color was red.
--- Peter Wilkins

"Let's take 25 crotches," said Jack,
"From our #612 crotchless (black),
Put them all in a nice
Box; slap on a high price;
And we'll sell the things as a gift-pack."
--- Michael Weinstein P8802

My Frederick's of Hollywood bra
(Model name? "Ay Carumba!")
Has holes for my nips
With their pert little tips.
And I've crotchless undies - voila!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

It's Christmas time in the hills.
The presents are opened with thrills.
Until she got mine,
Which at first seemed fine,
It was crotchless and heart-shaped with frills.
--- Anon

A laddie by name of Don Scotchless
Collected silk pantyhose crotchless;
And all of them bought
For the pleasure he sought,
For his bedpost was sadly quite notchless.
--- Anon

Nantucketeers say they will fetch
A much larger urn or a wretch
For you if the friction
Is causing restriction,
But you know of course, it will stretch!
--- Travis

I've put on a clean pair of Jockeys,
And set off for those far off Rockies,
In search of a party
That will include Marty;
I hope that she's practicing squatties.
--- Frank

No matter how hard Marty strains,
When doing her squatties, no stains
Will ever be present
Since she finds it pleasant
To wear her new, loose crotchless Hanes.
--- Travis Brasell

She ought to be spending some more thought
On a subject not mentioned in your thought;
For those of us smaller
Than the length of a dollar,
A chick must have phallus aforethought.
--- Hugh Clary

And you, dear Petunia? You
Look so ravishing dressed in those blue
Crotchless panties you wear,
With your curlicues fair,
And a hint of sweet pussy on view.
--- Anon

An old vegetarian Rose,
Was wearing air tight pantyhose.
Each time that she farted,
The odor departed
From holes that they burned in the toes.
--- Anon

To dear Vickie's Secret I went;
My goodness! The money I spent
On new underwear
That has, I declare,
A hole in the crotch for a vent!
--- Anon

I know I must look like a fool
By sitting here on my small stool
In these tiny frillies,
That gives me the willies;
However, this hole keeps me cool!
--- Anon

Poor girl, your knickers gone through,
When you paid so much for them too.
But with seam undone
Just imagine the fun,
And the naughty little things you can do!
--- Anon

This is file wgm

Walking through church, I heard snickers
From adults and children and vicars.
Asking them why,
I heard one reply,
"You've got a huge hole in your knickers!"
--- Anon

But what could have made such a hole?
Be it man or an amorous mole?
Why the hell should I care?
You just waltz over here;
Let me cover that hole with my pole.
--- Anon

There was a young woman from France,
Famous for holes in her pants.
But 'twas the one in front
That showed off her cunt,
That made all the gentlemen glance.
--- Anon

"Well, this is a nice piece of cloth",
Said the biggest and hungriest moth,
As they chewed up poor Auntie's
Humongous great panties,
Which made her exceedingly croth.
--- Peter Wilkins

An eager young man of Montrose,
Too speedy wherever he goes,
While going too far
In a neighborhood bar,
He ruptured a girl's panty hose.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

There was an old woman from Sorn
Who stood up to her waist in the corn.
Though is lashed down with rain,
She said, "I'm still stayin'
Till it's dark, for my knickers are torn."
--- Ken Andrews P9711

There was a young lady named Dawes
Who went out without any drawers.
Her mother said, "Celia,
Should anyone feel ya--
He'd think you was one of them whores.
--- G1768

There was a young girl from Land's End,
Sailed abroad to visit a friend.
She wound up in France,
Without any pants;
An embarrassment she couldn't end.
--- Thomas Ratliff P0304

There is the odd prude who abhores
The girl who will fast shed her drawers;
But I'm quite impresseded
With gals so divested,
And greet them with roars of applawers.
--- Anon

Those scanties and panties, best grip 'em.
Let loose 'round the ankles, t'will trip 'em.
Those legs'll fly up
Exposing furred cup;
'Tis all you need; no need to strip 'em.
--- Anon

Talk around the water cooler
Is that it is easy to fool 'er.
She never does wear
Anything under there.
Drop money, she'll bend, then tool 'er.
--- Anon

Went shoppping for panties to wear;
Thought I might get me a pair.
Didn't like how they fit,
So I said, "Forget it!"
Besides, I prefer to go bare!
--- Kaylin

Now tell me you girls, and don't lie!
Feel sexy with panty-less pie?
If I wore no jockeys,
I'd get bouncing of rockies,
And a rash on my dick for to cry.
--- Tutta Gioia

Do cheerleaders wear cotton panties?
Pray, tell me your view of their scanties.
If you only see hair,
There's just air under there.
Which surely would many a man please.

(Which, given a chance, would a man sieze.)
--- Tony The Tiger

Pearl's panties come down with a jerk,
As she bared her fair bottom for work.
Said she, "Pants are silly,
But the men like them frilly,
And chewing them drives 'em berserk!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 335 G0863

I'm helping dear Santa this year;
He gave me this big sack of cheer.
But guys don't want toys;
Rather play with my joys,
And lost undies give me a cold rear
--- Anon

Young Debbie's a tease and a flirt;
She wears nothing at all 'neath her skirt.
When she sits with her thighs
Open wide, no surprise
That my shorts get so tight that they hurt.
--- Anon

There once was a girl named Sandy
Took off panties when she's feeling randy.
And more often than not
When lying on her cot,
Randy would fondle Sandy.
--- Anon

Said a lady of some perspicacity
"My knickers have lost some elasticity!"
And then with a frown,
As the culprits fell down,
"And there goes my proof of veracity."
--- John Pickersgill

It's true what my aunties did say --
I threw all my panties away.
When we start to pet,
They just get all wet --
The darned things just get in the way!
--- Kaylin Brandon

A cute knickerless lady of Clyde
Felt her shoelace was coming untied.
So she bent sweetly over,
And men down to Dover
Popped out, and a few slipped inside.
--- David A Brooks Q

All you panty-sniffers there in the queue,
The news from here's sad but it's true.
Knickers are now passe' --
Hubby likes it that way --
He's a dirty old Englisheman too.
--- Cheryl

I'm having a funny romance;
Looks like I am taking a chance.
He's charming and sweet.
He's always dressed neat --
Except that he will not wear pants.
--- Anon

On my panties are "Days of the Week"
And on Monday through Friday they're meek.
Sunday's virginal white,
But for Saturday night,
I just style up my "short" hair real sleek.
--- Jeanie

Since I'm not a stylest I'd bungle
The trimming of quim's thickest jungle;
So I will just push
My way through the bush,
With Willy, my guide, and then tungle.
--- Anon

In aversion, young P. Smilly Frutt
Told his frau, in his ire, "You're a slut...
When you frug at the dance,
When you're not wearing pants,
Keep the cavern they cover up, SHUT!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 854

Without knickers my girlfriend's gone out,
To feel sexy, she wishes, no doubt.
But much shame she'll profess
When the wind lifts her dress
And exposes her wonders throughout!
--- C M

I stealthily slid up her thigh
My hand, as she moaned with a sigh,
"Oh Tutta you'll find
No panties to bind...
It's direct from your fly to my pie..."
--- Tutta Gioia

There was a young lady from Twickers
Who never was seen wearing knickers.
The view from the front
Showed a clean healthy cunt;
Spectators were many and sticky-ers.
--- Anon

There was a young lady from Twickers
Who never was seen wearing knickers.
The view from the behind
Forced a change in the mind,
Making butt-lovers from previous dickers.
--- Anon

There was a young lady from Twickers
Who never was seen wearing knickers.
The view from beneath
Made men grind their teeth;
Molar-less, left 'em with just lickers.
--- Anon

A horny young fellow named Phil
Detected a forthcoming thrill,
When his girfriend, quite pert,
Raised the hem of her skirt,
And he noticed her knickers were nil.
--- Cap'n Bean

Marie, the administrative assistant,
To passes is usually resistant.
Except for on Mondays,
When she doesn't wear undies,
And gives in if the boss is insistent.
--- Thomas G Keller P9408