There was a young lass from Ignatius, There's a sweet little place Courtmacsherry; Young Sharon from Clacton-on-Sea Michelle went walking in May, There was a young lady of Ryde, A smart guy said, "One of the clues When my Sweet Thing starts pumping her swing, There is a young lady from France There once was a fellow called Keith I sneaked out on my porch to see Without pants is most fun of all; A lingerie salesman named Gough, She said, "If I wear pants, they're lace -- Lance is the lad who can glance The Perfesser just got back from France, The tease of the breeze through the trees, While Tiddy was flexing his muscle, That wasn't the breeze that was teasin' Bought some panties just on a whim, A charming young woman of Leeds A panty lovers group from East Lake One morning a typist named Jane Jane's sister, whose name is Elaine, A girl who was touring Zambesi, This morning I read a report Now, I am not wishing to tilt, The neighborhood panty collector Now don't get yourself in a tiff; The one who is pinching the knickers, There was a proud girl from Ravenna Panties and bras make me scoff. The satellite porn channel flickers A charming you woman from Italy
This is file wfm
A willing young lady named Heidi An oversexed dolly in France A French girl who moved to Penzance I know a young lady called Frances Sweet Debbie from Tilbury Docks, I think that you have made it plain, The daughter of Balzoff, the farmer, There once was a spinsterish lass A prudish young maid of Kilglass, There was a young lady of France, There was a young girl named McNeal, I once knew a virgin from Rome There was an old spinster named Gretel, An iron-willed woman named Fay, Young Father O'Sheamus's lance He went with his pal, Reverend Grieg, Tom Victoria, that old buccaneer (Tom Victoria - composer of Holy Week music)
My, my, what a charming selection No more does he hide in his sac. Oh panties, so wispy, so light; Don't forget the little lace thong, There was a young wife of Kilrush, (With apologies to L. Reed)
A sweet young strip dancer named Jane, Those edible panties Sue wears, Those edible panties Sue wore, My diet of panties and schnapps If lace is what tickles your fancy, She's discovered what all women should, A Valentine message to start on, Your panties are all in a bunch? Her husband told Mrs. McBundys It distresses the Puritan aunties, Stuffed teddies scare me a lot, Entertaining a lover, Miss Sledd
Who lived in a garret quite spacious.
When she went to her auntie's,
She always wore panties,
But alone in her garret, Good Gracious!
--- L1440
You can get there by road or by ferry.
Some girls wear no panties
Or other such scanties,
But most have held on to their cherry.
--- Linda Marsh Coll
Wears panties but not after tea,
For then she goes pubbing
And afterwards clubbing
With naught between navel and knee.
--- Anon
Through daisys, shamrock and hay,
But her elastic snapped,
And her knickers collapsed,
And the view was mighty all day.
--- Anon
Who was longing to be someone's bride,
So she walked out of doors
Without any drawers,
And her wishes were soon gratified.
--- Anon (L Reed) (Bibby)
Of which girl to date you might choose,
You can tell at a glance
If they're not wearing pants
By the dandruff you see on their shoes.
--- Bob Giandomenico P8802
Love to watch her light summer dress cling
To each prominent part,
And what's more -- bless her heart --
Underneath, she's not wearing a thing!
--- Allen Wolverton
Who never can stand to wear pants.
This gross impropriety
Is abhorred by society,
But at least she's not bothered by ants.
--- Anon
Who wore nothing at all underneath.
When asked was this wise
For a man of his size,
He muttered abuse through clenched teeth.
--- Michael Palin
If there was any mail there for me.
It was hard to reach.
I guess that will teach
Panties should not be absentee.
--- Marlene Lewis
Though if hard, t'would hurt if you fall.
But then, what the hell,
At least I could tell
If you 'really' are on the ball!
--- Anon
Sold clothes to girls wanting a boff;
He saw his sales soar
Selling 'merican drawers...
You've guessed it, one Yank and they're off.
--- Anon
Ventilation in just the right place;
'Cause sometimes I get hot,
Need relief on the spot,
So I often go bare, just in case.
--- Ann Gasser P8803
All the girlies right out of their pants.
They fall at his feet
At the sight of his meat,
In a frenziedly sexual trance.
--- Anon
And his missus, she feels the romance;
Said, "I let him go look,
'Cause I'd read in a book,
That them mam'selles don't wear underpants!"
--- Anon
Lifts skirt above knees of Louise,
And with every rise
The watching man sighs:
"Oh, pray she's no panties on, please."
--- Tiddy Ogg
Dear Louise was having a tussle;
Preventing the WHOOSH!
Disturbing her bush,
By keeping a grip on her bustle.
--- Anon
Through trees. There's a whole nother reason.
That warm southern zephyr
Was Loweezy, that heifer,
Was fartin' 'cause she found it pleasin'.
--- Jeanie
To cover my quivering quim.
"Whatcha got there?
I'd rather you bare!"
So of course I did listen to him.
--- Kaylin
Had some curious physical needs:
One couldn't be matched --
She loved to be scratched,
So she wore nothing under her tweeds.
--- Glen Hughes P0201
Asked six strippers to their yearly clambake.
Amidst thunderous applause
The girls took off their drawers,
Which were served with coffee and cake.
--- Michael Weinstein P8708
Travelled to work on the train.
She left home, panties on,
But arrived with them gone.
That's something she still can't explain.
--- Michael Weinstein P9102
Met her boyfriend one night in the rain.
She left home, panties on,
Yet arrived with them gone.
But that's something Elaine can explain.
--- Michael Weinstein P9102
Said, "Attracting the men is quite easy.
I don't wear any pants,
And at every chance,
I stand where it's frightfully breezy."
--- Anon G0684
That my neighbor's your daughter's distraught.
When she pegs out her panties
To dry with her scanties,
The vanish and leave her with naught.
--- Peter Wilkins
But are you admitting your guilt?
Or is it old Jock
Who lives down the block,
Is wearing them under his kilt?
--- Tiddy Ogg
Is looking and sniffing for nectar.
Gets nothing obscene --
Can't understand "clean"
'Cause he's just a dirty old rector.
--- Marlene Lewis
This collector just wants a sniff
Of the cloth that is tinged,
And kept close to the minge.
That's the only way he can get stiff.
--- Keith Lehman
Is said to have a rather weak ticker.
As the reports come in,
Saying he rants against sin,
We just can't believe it's the Vicar!
--- Keith Lehman
Who rode in a car in Vienna,
With a man dignified.
They came back from the ride
With her panties strung from the antenna.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2253
Why dress it all up like a toff,
In stuff no one sees.
If he does, he says "Please
Take it off! Take it all off!"
--- Karen
As Caroline takes off her knickers.
It's Monday at four,
A bit of a bore,
The routine for tea at the vicar's.
--- Anon
Talked wisely and warmly and wittily,
But the feminine art
That makes my heart start
Was her doffing her panties so prettily.
--- Laurence Perrine P9407
Thought ready was better than tidy.
So although she wore undies
On Sundays and Mondays,
She removed them on Tuesday through Friday.
--- Jerry Nordal P0509
Finds it useless to try to wear pants...
Her Charmille de Fleurs
Is open all heurs,
So panties don't have a damn chance.
--- Grand Prix Lim 355 G1791
Went out wearing no underpants.
A wind from the west
Blew her skirt to her chest;
Said the Brits on the street, "Vive la France!"
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0309
Who makes a real hit when she dances.
You should hear the lads shout
While she waltzes about,
Revealing an absence of pantses.
--- Michael Horgan P0409
When rowing wears miniscule frocks.
And sitting in front
With a view of her cunt,
Are the rest of the crew and their cox.
--- Peter Wilkins
You're willing to try this again.
I spoke to your aunties
Who said your're sans panties.
I'll be there, please meet the next train.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Proved to be such a bucoloic charmer,
That pop found he had
To keep her crotch clad
With ingot-iron panties of armor.
--- Grand Prix Lim 937
Who constructed her panties of brass.
When asked, "Do they chafe?"
She said, "Yes, but I'm safe
Against pinches and pokes in the ass."
--- L1462
Guarded her virtue with panties of brass.
But one night, on the porch,
With an acetylene torch,
Her beau melted resistance, alas!
--- Anon A
Who would thwart all attempts at romance
And intrusions more phallic
By wearing metallic
And bullet-proof bloomers and pants.
--- Peter Wilkins
Who fashioned her panties of steel,
For diverting the thrust
Of a thumb filled with lust,
And deflecting the unwanted feel.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 G1581
In a chastity belt made from chrome.
No hope you would get
Into her curly wet,
Instead she'd just polish your dome.
--- Gearhart
Who wore underclothes made of metal.
When they said, "Does it hurt?"
She said, "It keeps dirt
From stamen and pistil and petal."
--- L0865A
Keeps the men and the boys all at bay.
Despite raves and rants,
They can't get in her pants.
She wears all-metal Jockeys, they say.
--- Tom Patton P9708
Has been locked in his chastity pants,
With a spikey metallic
And tight-fitting phallic
Device to stop trouser advance.
--- Peter Wilkins
To games in the girl's hockey league.
And at the first bully,
His puck stood up fully;
His jock-strap had metal fatigue.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Made a patented ladies' brassiere.
For his girlfriend's derriere,
He produced several pair
Of lace panties -- quite naughty and sheer.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Carol has in her panty collection.
From satin and lacy
To silky and racy,
They all change my pecker's direction.
--- Anon
When I lay down on my back
With thoughts on my mind
Of Carol to grind,
He stands, ready for her sweet crack.
--- Anon
So see-through, so tiny, so tight;
So smooth and so silky;
So Jesus! So milky.
So creamy, so sticky, so white.
--- Peter Wilkins
Not quite a real panty, but strong.
Whether lace or satin,
It fits like a batten,
And rides up your ass all day long.
--- Carol
Who went out in panties of red plush.
When they asked her, "Why crimson?"
She replied, "I've got Jim's on.
Their color goes well with my bush."
--- Langford Reed
Wore five inches of thin cellophane.
When asked why she wore it,
She said, "I adore it,
My cunt juice would spatter like rain."
--- L1442
Sure give me a thrill, folks, but there's
A problem, when scoffing
Them prior to boffing,
One does get a mouthful of hairs.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Are fill up with calories galore.
While munching them's great,
I've put on so much weight,
And now hardly squeeze through the door.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Has made me the roundest of chaps.
Then she told my "Bye",
On finding that I
Could no longer squeeze through her flaps.
--- SFA
Come shopping at "Undies by Nancy".
But if you are male,
I'd stick with the tale,
"I'm buying stuff for my fiance."
--- Marlene Lewis
To help keep their man feelin' good.
Edible panties and oil
Make temperatures boil --
Thank God for Frederick's of Hollywood!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
If frankness the lady will pardon:
When the crease in her pants
Make you think of romance,
You can say that she gives you a hard on.
--- Anon
Well darlin' that gives me a hunch.
I best pry them loose
From your sweet caboose,
Then dive in and have me a munch!
--- Anon
That he got turned on by black undies.
She, not being bright,
Said, "Then very well, Dwight,
I'll only wear clean ones on Sundays."
--- Bob Giandomenico P8802
That women appear in their scanties.
And lie on the beaches
As blooming as peaches,
With hankies in place of their panties.
--- Lims Unlimited
Specially on nice lady not;
Those skimpy with lace
Just cover the place
That seems like a cuddly spot.
--- Chris Papa
Wore her leopard-skin panties to bed.
Said he with a scowl
As he heard a soft growl,
"Are you certain that damn thing is dead?"
--- Michael Weinstein P8802