There was a young lass from Ignatius,
Who lived in a garret quite spacious.
When she went to her auntie's,
She always wore panties,
But alone in her garret, Good Gracious!
--- L1440

There's a sweet little place Courtmacsherry;
You can get there by road or by ferry.
Some girls wear no panties
Or other such scanties,
But most have held on to their cherry.
--- Linda Marsh Coll

Young Sharon from Clacton-on-Sea
Wears panties but not after tea,
For then she goes pubbing
And afterwards clubbing
With naught between navel and knee.
--- Anon

Michelle went walking in May,
Through daisys, shamrock and hay,
But her elastic snapped,
And her knickers collapsed,
And the view was mighty all day.
--- Anon

There was a young lady of Ryde,
Who was longing to be someone's bride,
So she walked out of doors
Without any drawers,
And her wishes were soon gratified.
--- Anon (L Reed) (Bibby)

A smart guy said, "One of the clues
Of which girl to date you might choose,
You can tell at a glance
If they're not wearing pants
By the dandruff you see on their shoes.
--- Bob Giandomenico P8802

When my Sweet Thing starts pumping her swing,
Love to watch her light summer dress cling
To each prominent part,
And what's more -- bless her heart --
Underneath, she's not wearing a thing!
--- Allen Wolverton

There is a young lady from France
Who never can stand to wear pants.
This gross impropriety
Is abhorred by society,
But at least she's not bothered by ants.
--- Anon

There once was a fellow called Keith
Who wore nothing at all underneath.
When asked was this wise
For a man of his size,
He muttered abuse through clenched teeth.
--- Michael Palin

I sneaked out on my porch to see
If there was any mail there for me.
It was hard to reach.
I guess that will teach
Panties should not be absentee.
--- Marlene Lewis

Without pants is most fun of all;
Though if hard, t'would hurt if you fall.
But then, what the hell,
At least I could tell
If you 'really' are on the ball!
--- Anon

A lingerie salesman named Gough,
Sold clothes to girls wanting a boff;
He saw his sales soar
Selling 'merican drawers...
You've guessed it, one Yank and they're off.
--- Anon

She said, "If I wear pants, they're lace --
Ventilation in just the right place;
'Cause sometimes I get hot,
Need relief on the spot,
So I often go bare, just in case.
--- Ann Gasser P8803

Lance is the lad who can glance
All the girlies right out of their pants.
They fall at his feet
At the sight of his meat,
In a frenziedly sexual trance.
--- Anon

The Perfesser just got back from France,
And his missus, she feels the romance;
Said, "I let him go look,
'Cause I'd read in a book,
That them mam'selles don't wear underpants!"
--- Anon

The tease of the breeze through the trees,
Lifts skirt above knees of Louise,
And with every rise
The watching man sighs:
"Oh, pray she's no panties on, please."
--- Tiddy Ogg

While Tiddy was flexing his muscle,
Dear Louise was having a tussle;
Preventing the WHOOSH!
Disturbing her bush,
By keeping a grip on her bustle.
--- Anon

That wasn't the breeze that was teasin'
Through trees. There's a whole nother reason.
That warm southern zephyr
Was Loweezy, that heifer,
Was fartin' 'cause she found it pleasin'.
--- Jeanie

Bought some panties just on a whim,
To cover my quivering quim.
"Whatcha got there?
I'd rather you bare!"
So of course I did listen to him.
--- Kaylin

A charming young woman of Leeds
Had some curious physical needs:
One couldn't be matched --
She loved to be scratched,
So she wore nothing under her tweeds.
--- Glen Hughes P0201

A panty lovers group from East Lake
Asked six strippers to their yearly clambake.
Amidst thunderous applause
The girls took off their drawers,
Which were served with coffee and cake.
--- Michael Weinstein P8708

One morning a typist named Jane
Travelled to work on the train.
She left home, panties on,
But arrived with them gone.
That's something she still can't explain.
--- Michael Weinstein P9102

Jane's sister, whose name is Elaine,
Met her boyfriend one night in the rain.
She left home, panties on,
Yet arrived with them gone.
But that's something Elaine can explain.
--- Michael Weinstein P9102

A girl who was touring Zambesi,
Said, "Attracting the men is quite easy.
I don't wear any pants,
And at every chance,
I stand where it's frightfully breezy."
--- Anon G0684

This morning I read a report
That my neighbor's your daughter's distraught.
When she pegs out her panties
To dry with her scanties,
The vanish and leave her with naught.
--- Peter Wilkins

Now, I am not wishing to tilt,
But are you admitting your guilt?
Or is it old Jock
Who lives down the block,
Is wearing them under his kilt?
--- Tiddy Ogg

The neighborhood panty collector
Is looking and sniffing for nectar.
Gets nothing obscene --
Can't understand "clean"
'Cause he's just a dirty old rector.
--- Marlene Lewis

Now don't get yourself in a tiff;
This collector just wants a sniff
Of the cloth that is tinged,
And kept close to the minge.
That's the only way he can get stiff.
--- Keith Lehman

The one who is pinching the knickers,
Is said to have a rather weak ticker.
As the reports come in,
Saying he rants against sin,
We just can't believe it's the Vicar!
--- Keith Lehman

There was a proud girl from Ravenna
Who rode in a car in Vienna,
With a man dignified.
They came back from the ride
With her panties strung from the antenna.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2253

Panties and bras make me scoff.
Why dress it all up like a toff,
In stuff no one sees.
If he does, he says "Please
Take it off! Take it all off!"
--- Karen

The satellite porn channel flickers
As Caroline takes off her knickers.
It's Monday at four,
A bit of a bore,
The routine for tea at the vicar's.
--- Anon

A charming you woman from Italy
Talked wisely and warmly and wittily,
But the feminine art
That makes my heart start
Was her doffing her panties so prettily.
--- Laurence Perrine P9407

This is file wfm

A willing young lady named Heidi
Thought ready was better than tidy.
So although she wore undies
On Sundays and Mondays,
She removed them on Tuesday through Friday.
--- Jerry Nordal P0509

An oversexed dolly in France
Finds it useless to try to wear pants...
Her Charmille de Fleurs
Is open all heurs,
So panties don't have a damn chance.
--- Grand Prix Lim 355 G1791

A French girl who moved to Penzance
Went out wearing no underpants.
A wind from the west
Blew her skirt to her chest;
Said the Brits on the street, "Vive la France!"
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0309

I know a young lady called Frances
Who makes a real hit when she dances.
You should hear the lads shout
While she waltzes about,
Revealing an absence of pantses.
--- Michael Horgan P0409

Sweet Debbie from Tilbury Docks,
When rowing wears miniscule frocks.
And sitting in front
With a view of her cunt,
Are the rest of the crew and their cox.
--- Peter Wilkins

I think that you have made it plain,
You're willing to try this again.
I spoke to your aunties
Who said your're sans panties.
I'll be there, please meet the next train.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

The daughter of Balzoff, the farmer,
Proved to be such a bucoloic charmer,
That pop found he had
To keep her crotch clad
With ingot-iron panties of armor.
--- Grand Prix Lim 937

There once was a spinsterish lass
Who constructed her panties of brass.
When asked, "Do they chafe?"
She said, "Yes, but I'm safe
Against pinches and pokes in the ass."
--- L1462

A prudish young maid of Kilglass,
Guarded her virtue with panties of brass.
But one night, on the porch,
With an acetylene torch,
Her beau melted resistance, alas!
--- Anon A

There was a young lady of France,
Who would thwart all attempts at romance
And intrusions more phallic
By wearing metallic
And bullet-proof bloomers and pants.
--- Peter Wilkins

There was a young girl named McNeal,
Who fashioned her panties of steel,
For diverting the thrust
Of a thumb filled with lust,
And deflecting the unwanted feel.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 G1581

I once knew a virgin from Rome
In a chastity belt made from chrome.
No hope you would get
Into her curly wet,
Instead she'd just polish your dome.
--- Gearhart

There was an old spinster named Gretel,
Who wore underclothes made of metal.
When they said, "Does it hurt?"
She said, "It keeps dirt
From stamen and pistil and petal."
--- L0865A

An iron-willed woman named Fay,
Keeps the men and the boys all at bay.
Despite raves and rants,
They can't get in her pants.
She wears all-metal Jockeys, they say.
--- Tom Patton P9708

Young Father O'Sheamus's lance
Has been locked in his chastity pants,
With a spikey metallic
And tight-fitting phallic
Device to stop trouser advance.
--- Peter Wilkins

He went with his pal, Reverend Grieg,
To games in the girl's hockey league.
And at the first bully,
His puck stood up fully;
His jock-strap had metal fatigue.
--- Tiddy Ogg

Tom Victoria, that old buccaneer
Made a patented ladies' brassiere.
For his girlfriend's derriere,
He produced several pair
Of lace panties -- quite naughty and sheer.

(Tom Victoria - composer of Holy Week music)
--- Jim Weaver Collection

My, my, what a charming selection
Carol has in her panty collection.
From satin and lacy
To silky and racy,
They all change my pecker's direction.
--- Anon

No more does he hide in his sac.
When I lay down on my back
With thoughts on my mind
Of Carol to grind,
He stands, ready for her sweet crack.
--- Anon

Oh panties, so wispy, so light;
So see-through, so tiny, so tight;
So smooth and so silky;
So Jesus! So milky.
So creamy, so sticky, so white.
--- Peter Wilkins

Don't forget the little lace thong,
Not quite a real panty, but strong.
Whether lace or satin,
It fits like a batten,
And rides up your ass all day long.
--- Carol

There was a young wife of Kilrush,
Who went out in panties of red plush.
When they asked her, "Why crimson?"
She replied, "I've got Jim's on.
Their color goes well with my bush."

(With apologies to L. Reed)
--- Langford Reed

A sweet young strip dancer named Jane,
Wore five inches of thin cellophane.
When asked why she wore it,
She said, "I adore it,
My cunt juice would spatter like rain."
--- L1442

Those edible panties Sue wears,
Sure give me a thrill, folks, but there's
A problem, when scoffing
Them prior to boffing,
One does get a mouthful of hairs.
--- Tiddy Ogg

Those edible panties Sue wore,
Are fill up with calories galore.
While munching them's great,
I've put on so much weight,
And now hardly squeeze through the door.
--- Tiddy Ogg

My diet of panties and schnapps
Has made me the roundest of chaps.
Then she told my "Bye",
On finding that I
Could no longer squeeze through her flaps.
--- SFA

If lace is what tickles your fancy,
Come shopping at "Undies by Nancy".
But if you are male,
I'd stick with the tale,
"I'm buying stuff for my fiance."
--- Marlene Lewis

She's discovered what all women should,
To help keep their man feelin' good.
Edible panties and oil
Make temperatures boil --
Thank God for Frederick's of Hollywood!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A Valentine message to start on,
If frankness the lady will pardon:
When the crease in her pants
Make you think of romance,
You can say that she gives you a hard on.
--- Anon

Your panties are all in a bunch?
Well darlin' that gives me a hunch.
I best pry them loose
From your sweet caboose,
Then dive in and have me a munch!
--- Anon

Her husband told Mrs. McBundys
That he got turned on by black undies.
She, not being bright,
Said, "Then very well, Dwight,
I'll only wear clean ones on Sundays."
--- Bob Giandomenico P8802

It distresses the Puritan aunties,
That women appear in their scanties.
And lie on the beaches
As blooming as peaches,
With hankies in place of their panties.
--- Lims Unlimited

Stuffed teddies scare me a lot,
Specially on nice lady not;
Those skimpy with lace
Just cover the place
That seems like a cuddly spot.
--- Chris Papa

Entertaining a lover, Miss Sledd
Wore her leopard-skin panties to bed.
Said he with a scowl
As he heard a soft growl,
"Are you certain that damn thing is dead?"
--- Michael Weinstein P8802