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If we put on an exhibition; No limericks on Secrets Victoria! Red knickers all lacy and frilly! Sweet Debbie has promised tonight There was a young girl from Prestatyn A dirty old man at Pegu Do you have an erector set? For my birthday they sent bras and panties; I find round my old Christmas tree The wonderful female aroma I have an old friend called Dave; When a girl want to purchase a teddy, When one wants to purchase a teddy, "Edible panties?" said saleslady Fran, Highway worker, the pudgy John Long, Though some may have had a wee doubt, There once was a girl named Mehitabel, What on earth are girls now calling "knickers"? So miniscule, silky and sheer; So softly, they flutter and rise, So whispy they fly in the breeze; So delicate, thin and petite; Well, you sure ain't talkin' 'bout mine, There once was a boy named Morantes, Now that I'm rolling in cash If you're on your way here to play, Got some in silk or sateen? There was a young lady named Potter For you Sir, I have just the pair One claim Sir, of this pair so rare, These are the pair I must get! I'll wear them next time on my head, A strange one that Nancy, 'tis true. "Your panties, how lucky they be. She took them off, whispered: "Here, I knew that this tale would hit town; There once was a virgin from Biques I have nearly two hundred aunts. Young Jack had a desperate case Green boughs of pine now grace my stair There once was a cuckold named Jack A walkabout Arch takes Down Under A fetishist much loved large lingerie; That would-be sophisticate, Etta, "It's no good denying," said Jane, A fetishist living in France There was an old lady of Spain, Oh, mail your sweet bloomers to me; Then I'll send them airmail like a bird, On a day that is not quite so frantic, I know you are sweet and refined Her thong needs some extra-strength aid The tarts in the City of Birmingham A cross-dressing fellow named Chip, There once was a gal up the block A skittish historian, Coombs, When enjoying the delights of Doris, Their once was a man from Yorks, I'm old and like girls' panties too, I once had a filly from Woking, I've driven with you: Isle of Wight That's bccause I was travelling blind "Reminds me of my younger days," he Dolores, you say...that's her name? Yesterday John, I was napping, Please keep old Erm's drawers, if you like,
Tossing out all inhibition.
Then some sheer lingerie
I must buy today,
And arrange in strategic position.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
I can't say how much I abhoria.
The concept is odious.
The style's unmelodious.
I only wish I could ignoria.
--- Amaril
How do you squeeze in your large willy?
I've seen it before;
It dragged on the floor;
So out of those pants, it will spilly!
--- Jayne
She'll get rid of her bloomers, alright,
And go shopping for scanties
And silky red panties,
Exceedingly tiny and tight.
--- Anon
Who made herself knickers of satin.
For her classical friends
To peruse as she bends,
She embroidered the edges in Latin.
--- Tom Baker P8806
To a girl said, "I'm staring at you."
"At me?" said she;
"Yes you," said he,
"It's your knickers which I can see through!"
--- Arthur Deex P0104
That's something I would like to get.
Forget the blue pills
For curing your ills,
It's a sexy black teddy and pet!
--- Marlene
I love the feel of silken scanties.
They bring up my bone
And turn it to stone.
I must write and thank all my aunties.
--- Professor
The gifts that the girls leave for me.
Used panties of lace
I hold to my face,
And sniff the aroma with glee.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Is often more heady than soma.
It lowers defences,
Attacking the senses,
Then slips you right into a coma.
--- SFA
Fine ladies' panties he craves.
Half a bottle of Scotch
And a sniff at the crotch,
Then bye bye to his semen, he waves.
--- Earl Sydney
She first needs to find one that's ready.
If it's still at the store,
Then her twat will be sore,
'Cause the poor thing was ready for Freddy.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Best be sure that your lover is ready.
Shown too much, too quickly,
He or she may grow sickly,
When aged, infirm or unsteady.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
"Yes, we have a few pair for sale, Dan.
Here's vanilla; it's very
Nice. We also have cherry."
"What!" cried Dan, "No Moo Goo Gai Pan?"
--- Michael Weinstein P8802
Was sent home and told, "You don't belong
Working here dressed like that.
You have on your hard hat,
And your boots but John, really, a thong?"
--- L C Fitzhugh P0111
It seems that my secret is out.
Your panties, my dear,
So exquisitely sheer,
Play such havoc, indeed, with my spout.
--- Anon
Whose panties were really incredible,
All frilly and laced,
In impeccable taste,
In fact, such good taste they were edible.
--- Ed Potts P8802
I'll listen without any snickers;
Are they bloomers with leg-bands?
(Don't think I'd do handstands)
Or generic briefs from cotton-pickers?
--- Anon
I love your sweet panties, my dear.
They fall to the ground
With hardly a sound,
When I tear them away from your rear.
--- Peter Wilkins
Like butterfly-wings in the skies;
Then drift like a snow-
Flake when northerlies blow
As I drag them down over your thighs.
--- Peter Wilkins
Like feathers, they tickle and tease.
They float without care,
As if lighter than air,
When I rip them right down to your knees.
--- Peter Wilkins
Translucent and perfectly sweet;
I toss them away
With the sound of Ole'!
As I fling them right off of your feet.
--- Peter Wilkins
Which are not so sheer or so fine.
They're cotton, opaque;
It probably would take
Some scissors to get to my shrine.
--- Marlene Lewis
Who lived with his two old-maid aunties.
They gave him a beating
When they caught him eating
The crotches right out of their panties.
--- David Miller
From selling my used-panty stash,
I'm throwing an orgy
Food, wine, and sex free;
Please supply your own coke and hash.
--- Frank
You'll pass my boutique on your way.
If you're inclined
To shop, you will find
Us open 24 hours a day.
--- Frank
Creamed in by some schoolgirl teen?
Hermetically sealed?
I'll savor the yield
Of fragrances, if still pristine.
--- H Welchel
Made a new pair of pants from a blotter.
She said she regretted
When petted, she wetted,
And sitting 'round damp simply got her.
--- Grand Prix Lim 233
Brooke Shields, aged 13 (very rare),
Stained in Pretty Baby.
Before you buy maybe,
You'll sample this fine underwear.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
For gentlemen's heads going bare:
Should one masturbate
With these on ones pate,
They'll promote a fresh growth of hair.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Your scratchnsniffs got my tip wet!
The scent of that nook!
The drip of maid Brooke
From days when her brows hadn't met!
--- H Welchel
Whilst sliding, back arched, 'cross the bed.
I'll snuff up, then spew
Like stomped tubes of glue.
Poor lover! She'll choke, overfed.
--- H Welchel
Her panties are all coloured blue,
Except for that line.
To smell I'll decline,
The one with the brown coloured hue.
--- Anon
This is file wem
Encircling the sweet parts of thee.
Please give me a sniff,
'Twill make me grow stiff."
And heartfelt was Archibald's plea.
--- Anon
I hope you enjoy, Archie, Dear.
I hope they enthrall,
'Cause on them is all
The debris of much diarrhoea."
--- Anon
For days I have worn a large frown.
It hurts me to say
That to her dismay,
Though they reeked, my nose became brown!
--- Anon
Who sold her pure bod to some Greeks.
She's still got her bud --
Not one drop of blood --
Just panties with dainty brown streaks.
--- Jim Weaver Collection a
Are they coming for Christmas? No chance.
For they're ancient and old
And their pee they can't hold.
So I'm sending incontinence pants.
--- Peter Wilkins
Of shagging with panties in place.
His object of lust
Then showed her disgust,
By tossing them back in his face.
--- SFA
Rail, wafting their scent through the air;
Olfactory auras
Remind me of Laura's
Encrusted and stiff underwear.
--- Travis
Whose wife showed, in morals, a lack.
From a guy in a bar,
He once bought a used car
And found her old panties in back.
--- Bob Giandomenico P8802a
With Shielas in order to plunder
Their yellow-stained undies,
He exports to Lundy's,
Which labels each pair: "Aussie Wonder."
--- Peter Wilkins
He had a full two-car garage array.
The panties displayed
From plump gals he'd laid,
He labeled "My big lass menagerie."
--- Gary Hallock
Claimed nothing could shock or upsetta.
But her neighbors, named Rucking,
She one day spied fucking,
And her panties grew wetta and wetta.
--- G0061
"You've worn my silk panties again;
For look," she exhorted,
"They're stretched and distorted
And that is no feminine stain."
--- Peter Wilkins
Sniffed his bin full of slurpy girls' pants.
And their heady aroma
Sent him into a coma,
As he fondled his fetid free-lance.
--- G2340
Who dropped her best drawers down a drain.
She bent down to get them
And found that she'd wet them,
And couldn't get rid of the stain.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
I collect them and sniff them, you see.
When they get very old
And your scent has gone cold
Then I'll wash and return them to thee.
--- Anon
But I dare say you'll have a good word.
I was going to hide them,
When I saw down inside 'em;
It was more or less just a huge turd.
--- Anon
I'll send bloomers across the Atlantic,
Instead of a turd
(Which was truly absurd).
I'll leave a scent much more romantic.
--- Anon
So I hope this request you won't mind.
Will you please leave a patch
Of sweet damp from your snatch
On those panties you send? You're so kind.
--- Anon
To make that ripe seafood smell fade.
Some twenty mule team,
And scalding hot steam
Won't work. Will a C-3 gernade?
--- Randog
Wear panties that squelch when they squirm in 'em;
For often they'll boff
'N' they won't take 'em off,
Until manky and skanky with sperm in 'em.
--- Peter Wilkins
Needed new clothes for a trip.
So he borrowed his Auntie's
But pissed in the panties,
'Cause there was no fly there to unzip!
--- Lim E Rick
Who put all her bloomers in hock.
She didn't like them she said,
"'Cause after I'm bed,
They smell like a dirty old sock."
--- Harold Heidler
In Egypt, was touring some tombs;
He was spooked by a ghost
After coffee and toast,
And he ruined his Fruit-of-the-Looms.
--- Cap'n Bean P0408
Her undies become really porous.
Exploring her tights
On alternate nights,
Semen emanates from her clitoris.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
With underpants full of all sorts.
It had shit, it had scum,
And a secretion of cum,
And the hair of a bulldogs bum.
--- Anon
But prefer the brown stains to the goo.
The skidmarks you see
Do much more for me.
Does that make me nastier than you?
--- PeterW
Who came for a ride and a poking.
But to my surprise
The throb on her thighs
Had given her panties a soaking.
--- SFA
To London -- all day, half the night.
I'd have to surmise
That filly unwise,
Just wetted her panties from fright!
--- Anon
With you in front, not behind.
You straddled my plank,
While perched on my tank,
Which got me arrested and fined.
--- SFA
Said, "I was nothing but lazy.
Bent her over the bike,
Gave the throttle a hike,
Had both of us coming like crazy."
--- John Miller
I didn't know that when I came.
Mine went down her throat,
Giving it a white coat.
The soiled panties are not my blame.
--- S C Saint
After a spot of mole trapping,
When some evil bunch
Came along, stole my lunch,
Enclosed in my Erm's special wrapping.
--- Anon
Though the smell, for you, may be too ripe.,
But send back my oggy,
With hunger I'm groggy...
While eating, I can't type this tripe.
--- Anon
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