If we put on an exhibition;
Tossing out all inhibition.
Then some sheer lingerie
I must buy today,
And arrange in strategic position.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

No limericks on Secrets Victoria!
I can't say how much I abhoria.
The concept is odious.
The style's unmelodious.
I only wish I could ignoria.
--- Amaril

Red knickers all lacy and frilly!
How do you squeeze in your large willy?
I've seen it before;
It dragged on the floor;
So out of those pants, it will spilly!
--- Jayne

Sweet Debbie has promised tonight
She'll get rid of her bloomers, alright,
And go shopping for scanties
And silky red panties,
Exceedingly tiny and tight.
--- Anon

There was a young girl from Prestatyn
Who made herself knickers of satin.
For her classical friends
To peruse as she bends,
She embroidered the edges in Latin.
--- Tom Baker P8806

A dirty old man at Pegu
To a girl said, "I'm staring at you."
"At me?" said she;
"Yes you," said he,
"It's your knickers which I can see through!"
--- Arthur Deex P0104

Do you have an erector set?
That's something I would like to get.
Forget the blue pills
For curing your ills,
It's a sexy black teddy and pet!
--- Marlene

For my birthday they sent bras and panties;
I love the feel of silken scanties.
They bring up my bone
And turn it to stone.
I must write and thank all my aunties.
--- Professor

I find round my old Christmas tree
The gifts that the girls leave for me.
Used panties of lace
I hold to my face,
And sniff the aroma with glee.
--- Tiddy Ogg

The wonderful female aroma
Is often more heady than soma.
It lowers defences,
Attacking the senses,
Then slips you right into a coma.
--- SFA

I have an old friend called Dave;
Fine ladies' panties he craves.
Half a bottle of Scotch
And a sniff at the crotch,
Then bye bye to his semen, he waves.
--- Earl Sydney

When a girl want to purchase a teddy,
She first needs to find one that's ready.
If it's still at the store,
Then her twat will be sore,
'Cause the poor thing was ready for Freddy.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

When one wants to purchase a teddy,
Best be sure that your lover is ready.
Shown too much, too quickly,
He or she may grow sickly,
When aged, infirm or unsteady.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

"Edible panties?" said saleslady Fran,
"Yes, we have a few pair for sale, Dan.
Here's vanilla; it's very
Nice. We also have cherry."
"What!" cried Dan, "No Moo Goo Gai Pan?"
--- Michael Weinstein P8802

Highway worker, the pudgy John Long,
Was sent home and told, "You don't belong
Working here dressed like that.
You have on your hard hat,
And your boots but John, really, a thong?"
--- L C Fitzhugh P0111

Though some may have had a wee doubt,
It seems that my secret is out.
Your panties, my dear,
So exquisitely sheer,
Play such havoc, indeed, with my spout.
--- Anon

There once was a girl named Mehitabel,
Whose panties were really incredible,
All frilly and laced,
In impeccable taste,
In fact, such good taste they were edible.
--- Ed Potts P8802

What on earth are girls now calling "knickers"?
I'll listen without any snickers;
Are they bloomers with leg-bands?
(Don't think I'd do handstands)
Or generic briefs from cotton-pickers?
--- Anon

So miniscule, silky and sheer;
I love your sweet panties, my dear.
They fall to the ground
With hardly a sound,
When I tear them away from your rear.
--- Peter Wilkins

So softly, they flutter and rise,
Like butterfly-wings in the skies;
Then drift like a snow-
Flake when northerlies blow
As I drag them down over your thighs.
--- Peter Wilkins

So whispy they fly in the breeze;
Like feathers, they tickle and tease.
They float without care,
As if lighter than air,
When I rip them right down to your knees.
--- Peter Wilkins

So delicate, thin and petite;
Translucent and perfectly sweet;
I toss them away
With the sound of Ole'!
As I fling them right off of your feet.
--- Peter Wilkins

Well, you sure ain't talkin' 'bout mine,
Which are not so sheer or so fine.
They're cotton, opaque;
It probably would take
Some scissors to get to my shrine.
--- Marlene Lewis

There once was a boy named Morantes,
Who lived with his two old-maid aunties.
They gave him a beating
When they caught him eating
The crotches right out of their panties.
--- David Miller

Now that I'm rolling in cash
From selling my used-panty stash,
I'm throwing an orgy
Food, wine, and sex free;
Please supply your own coke and hash.
--- Frank

If you're on your way here to play,
You'll pass my boutique on your way.
If you're inclined
To shop, you will find
Us open 24 hours a day.
--- Frank

Got some in silk or sateen?
Creamed in by some schoolgirl teen?
Hermetically sealed?
I'll savor the yield
Of fragrances, if still pristine.
--- H Welchel

There was a young lady named Potter
Made a new pair of pants from a blotter.
She said she regretted
When petted, she wetted,
And sitting 'round damp simply got her.
--- Grand Prix Lim 233

For you Sir, I have just the pair
Brooke Shields, aged 13 (very rare),
Stained in Pretty Baby.
Before you buy maybe,
You'll sample this fine underwear.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

One claim Sir, of this pair so rare,
For gentlemen's heads going bare:
Should one masturbate
With these on ones pate,
They'll promote a fresh growth of hair.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

These are the pair I must get!
Your scratchnsniffs got my tip wet!
The scent of that nook!
The drip of maid Brooke
From days when her brows hadn't met!
--- H Welchel

I'll wear them next time on my head,
Whilst sliding, back arched, 'cross the bed.
I'll snuff up, then spew
Like stomped tubes of glue.
Poor lover! She'll choke, overfed.
--- H Welchel

A strange one that Nancy, 'tis true.
Her panties are all coloured blue,
Except for that line.
To smell I'll decline,
The one with the brown coloured hue.
--- Anon

This is file wem

"Your panties, how lucky they be.
Encircling the sweet parts of thee.
Please give me a sniff,
'Twill make me grow stiff."
And heartfelt was Archibald's plea.
--- Anon

She took them off, whispered: "Here,
I hope you enjoy, Archie, Dear.
I hope they enthrall,
'Cause on them is all
The debris of much diarrhoea."
--- Anon

I knew that this tale would hit town;
For days I have worn a large frown.
It hurts me to say
That to her dismay,
Though they reeked, my nose became brown!
--- Anon

There once was a virgin from Biques
Who sold her pure bod to some Greeks.
She's still got her bud --
Not one drop of blood --
Just panties with dainty brown streaks.
--- Jim Weaver Collection a

I have nearly two hundred aunts.
Are they coming for Christmas? No chance.
For they're ancient and old
And their pee they can't hold.
So I'm sending incontinence pants.
--- Peter Wilkins

Young Jack had a desperate case
Of shagging with panties in place.
His object of lust
Then showed her disgust,
By tossing them back in his face.
--- SFA

Green boughs of pine now grace my stair
Rail, wafting their scent through the air;
Olfactory auras
Remind me of Laura's
Encrusted and stiff underwear.
--- Travis

There once was a cuckold named Jack
Whose wife showed, in morals, a lack.
From a guy in a bar,
He once bought a used car
And found her old panties in back.
--- Bob Giandomenico P8802a

A walkabout Arch takes Down Under
With Shielas in order to plunder
Their yellow-stained undies,
He exports to Lundy's,
Which labels each pair: "Aussie Wonder."
--- Peter Wilkins

A fetishist much loved large lingerie;
He had a full two-car garage array.
The panties displayed
From plump gals he'd laid,
He labeled "My big lass menagerie."
--- Gary Hallock

That would-be sophisticate, Etta,
Claimed nothing could shock or upsetta.
But her neighbors, named Rucking,
She one day spied fucking,
And her panties grew wetta and wetta.
--- G0061

"It's no good denying," said Jane,
"You've worn my silk panties again;
For look," she exhorted,
"They're stretched and distorted
And that is no feminine stain."
--- Peter Wilkins

A fetishist living in France
Sniffed his bin full of slurpy girls' pants.
And their heady aroma
Sent him into a coma,
As he fondled his fetid free-lance.
--- G2340

There was an old lady of Spain,
Who dropped her best drawers down a drain.
She bent down to get them
And found that she'd wet them,
And couldn't get rid of the stain.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Oh, mail your sweet bloomers to me;
I collect them and sniff them, you see.
When they get very old
And your scent has gone cold
Then I'll wash and return them to thee.
--- Anon

Then I'll send them airmail like a bird,
But I dare say you'll have a good word.
I was going to hide them,
When I saw down inside 'em;
It was more or less just a huge turd.
--- Anon

On a day that is not quite so frantic,
I'll send bloomers across the Atlantic,
Instead of a turd
(Which was truly absurd).
I'll leave a scent much more romantic.
--- Anon

I know you are sweet and refined
So I hope this request you won't mind.
Will you please leave a patch
Of sweet damp from your snatch
On those panties you send? You're so kind.
--- Anon

Her thong needs some extra-strength aid
To make that ripe seafood smell fade.
Some twenty mule team,
And scalding hot steam
Won't work. Will a C-3 gernade?
--- Randog

The tarts in the City of Birmingham
Wear panties that squelch when they squirm in 'em;
For often they'll boff
'N' they won't take 'em off,
Until manky and skanky with sperm in 'em.
--- Peter Wilkins

A cross-dressing fellow named Chip,
Needed new clothes for a trip.
So he borrowed his Auntie's
But pissed in the panties,
'Cause there was no fly there to unzip!
--- Lim E Rick

There once was a gal up the block
Who put all her bloomers in hock.
She didn't like them she said,
"'Cause after I'm bed,
They smell like a dirty old sock."
--- Harold Heidler

A skittish historian, Coombs,
In Egypt, was touring some tombs;
He was spooked by a ghost
After coffee and toast,
And he ruined his Fruit-of-the-Looms.
--- Cap'n Bean P0408

When enjoying the delights of Doris,
Her undies become really porous.
Exploring her tights
On alternate nights,
Semen emanates from her clitoris.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Their once was a man from Yorks,
With underpants full of all sorts.
It had shit, it had scum,
And a secretion of cum,
And the hair of a bulldogs bum.
--- Anon

I'm old and like girls' panties too,
But prefer the brown stains to the goo.
The skidmarks you see
Do much more for me.
Does that make me nastier than you?
--- PeterW

I once had a filly from Woking,
Who came for a ride and a poking.
But to my surprise
The throb on her thighs
Had given her panties a soaking.
--- SFA

I've driven with you: Isle of Wight
To London -- all day, half the night.
I'd have to surmise
That filly unwise,
Just wetted her panties from fright!
--- Anon

That's bccause I was travelling blind
With you in front, not behind.
You straddled my plank,
While perched on my tank,
Which got me arrested and fined.
--- SFA

"Reminds me of my younger days," he
Said, "I was nothing but lazy.
Bent her over the bike,
Gave the throttle a hike,
Had both of us coming like crazy."
--- John Miller

Dolores, you say...that's her name?
I didn't know that when I came.
Mine went down her throat,
Giving it a white coat.
The soiled panties are not my blame.
--- S C Saint

Yesterday John, I was napping,
After a spot of mole trapping,
When some evil bunch
Came along, stole my lunch,
Enclosed in my Erm's special wrapping.
--- Anon

Please keep old Erm's drawers, if you like,
Though the smell, for you, may be too ripe.,
But send back my oggy,
With hunger I'm groggy...
While eating, I can't type this tripe.
--- Anon