MORE
Ross Perot, you should not fool around. We've had it with elephants and donkeys, The candidate Patrick Buchanan A friend of the indigent classes Pat Buchanan's the one candidate Candidate Buchanan assumes There once was a man named Buchanan, From a newswire the following's quoted: There's too many right wingers of late. In the presidential campaign, (election 2000 USA)
The message came through loud and clear, Said McCain, "I am feeling aghast... The politicians can get one down, Republican candidates Bauer Turn on the microphone -- Hush! Lush Rimbaugh, before he got lean, An ENT surgeon, immoral, A wild man who lives in Siberia Spurned by high-flying acrobat Claire, A girl who was quitting the Hyatt "What happened between you and Clyde, An adulterous housewife from Crete, An odd fellow from old Navaronne, The agile contortionist Burgess Said the pedantic, romantic technician, I sit here, my legs strangely angled. Before you untangle your body, Dr Krankheit, the well known physician, The guy flew as if he had wings; Said a young bride in search of new kicks, A man in a rut had Miss Brown; Ah, "Beds", now there is a word There was an old person of Dover When Harry acquired great HEFT, Which goes to show the condition Young Rene, she wanted a lay, A certain young fellow named Kelly When to his bitch he went dashin', My husband was married before "With my wife pronovalent," said Drew, (pronovalent - able to only screw prone)
Some intriguing sex modes of Penticton, Dear Ann, I've a fire that smoulders. A husband came into the kitchen His wife said, "You may be right, sweetheart. If Malthus in his propositions Asleep after she had been fed, I think I will take a short rest; You're wishing to ride my large dong? Loretta is randy and hot; All sweaty with titties a-bouncing! That's one lovely tool you have there; They'll be pert and quite ready for suckin', The women, Australian, take pride I've never really felt inferior But then sleep never comes really quick; In Melbourne it may be a blunder With my face in your tits, I'm in love, For smart girls, a matter of pride She felt sleepy, but later I woke her, How I smile when I think of Charmaine; Charmaine often makes fellows wait, I'd still take Charmaine over Shirley, A sex-haunted fellow named Snyder On the coast of the Indian Ocean, I think that on top might be best. A lady returned with remorse A Rice business major named Clyde
Your charts may be very profound.
Don't try to be funny,
Just please put your money
Where your moutth is, four feet from the ground.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who've driven the nation to its knees.
Ross is the boss!
A win, not a loss!
It's time for a change, if you please.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Is armed with the biblical canon.
He preaches hellfire,
So draws a crossfire.
Even God cannot help Pat Buchanan
--- Larry Dahl
And also of Jackie Onassis,
He was praised in the news
For his catholic views,
And he never neglected the masses.
--- Laurence Perrine P8411
Who says freedom is what he'd create.
But if he had his way,
Then if pregnant or gay,
Your bod would belong to the state.
--- John Sandler P9204
An electorate drawn from barrooms.
He's really a clown,
And his shirt is as brown
As the tracks in his Fruit-of-the-Looms.
--- CB
Despised for the platform he ran on.
In comparison, Dole,
Looked like less an asshole,
Leaving Clinton one less leg to stand on!
--- Paul
"Of 39 felons who voted
Disbarred abseentee,
Only four GOP,
Were among them, the AP has noted."
--- Anon
Preaching this message of Haight.
I say Haight should beware,
'Cause he might take the stair
That delivers him to Satan's gate.
--- Anon
New Hampshire did choose John McCain.
The voters PORTEND
A possible trend
Toward national capitol gain!
--- Observer
Good news for McCainites to hear,
And far as I see,
Has GWB
Now crying a lot in his beer.
--- Chris Papa
Barely out of the gate, I was passed!"
Then Doc's AUSCULTATION
Increased his frustration,
When informed, "It's because your half-fast!"
--- Observer
With all the B.S. that's spread aroun'.
Reagan's for God
And Mondale's a clod --
Or is it the other way roun'?
--- Maurice Zallen P8411
And Bush offer smirks and a glower,
While Forbes and McCain
Offer faces that strain
To show smiles that are fitting for power.
--- Prof M-G
Dare I say it? -- President Rush?
He would ponder and banter,
A professional ranter,
While the nation sank deep in the mush.
--- Steevo
Is riding a fucking machine.
As Mario Cuomo
Buggers a homo,
Damnedest thing I've ever seen.
--- Anon
Caused a strange matrimonial quarrel.
He, in deed cavalier,
Screwed his wife's deaf left ear,
For he'd heard sex was good when 'twas aural.
--- Derry Down Derry P8711
Preferred the approach posterior.
By his definition
The missionary position
Was awkward, perverse and inferior.
--- Norm Brust
The wolfish lout slicked back his hair
And foretold with a leer,
To all who could hear,
"She'll soon have a crack up in midair."
--- Chris Kocsis P9103
Announced to her boss, Mr. Wyatt,
"I've found my ambition -
A great new position."
He said, "Close the door and let's try it."
--- David Miller P8208A
Who made love to you one night outside
In the hammock?" asked Sue.
"Oh, I thought you knew.
We fell out," Henrietta replied.
--- A N Wilkins P8405a
In screwing was very discreet;
When she had an affair,
She would fuck in the chair,
So her bed would remain very neat.
--- Cap'n Bean P0107
Had accomplished by methods unknown,
A bizarre new position
That involved micturition,
But no one has yet asked to be shown.
--- Robert Elliot
Said, "Dear, I've a new way to merge us.
They contorted a knot
Which was drawn up so taut,
That the church bells are now tolling dirges."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0659
"Cotion's gross juxtaposition.
Such a bestial antic
Should drive a girl frantic...
Paradoxically, it's her LIFE MISSION!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 928
My ankles are feeling quite strangled,
In a pose they call lotus.
Please call Dr. Otis;
Perhaps he can get me untangled.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Let me check out your little roddy.
I say! That's quite nice!
A lovely device!
Perhaps we can do something naughty?
--- Anon
Described a new coital position.
It required a young couple,
Both healthy and supple,
Trampolene and trapeze in addition.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0512Q
What an awesome sensation it brings.
But they thought it was best
To abort the first test,
When his pecker got caught in the springs.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0512Q
"I'm tired of the usual tricks;
We've tried 69,
And although it is fine,
Tonight dear, let's try 96!"
--- Norm Storer
His routine in bed caused a frown.
One more session in bed
And she broke down and said,
"No more I'll take this lying down!"
--- Albin Chaplin
As useful as any I've heard.
The oyster's are moister
In whorehouse or cloister,
And sex in a rose bed's absurd.
--- Anon
Who rushed through a field of blue clover;
But some very large bees
Stung his elbows and knees.
His missionary days are all over.
--- Edwardian Leer 048 P9306a
This is file wbl
His Olive Oyl sweetie quick left,
Declined to be at
Where she'd be squashed flat.
Now lonely, poor Harry's bereft.
--- Chris Papa
Of folks who are damned to perdition.
In a dreary world caught
'Cause no one had taught
Other than Missionary Position.
--- Chris Papa
She invited a boy home to play.
While they fucked on the table,
They found it unstable,
So they finished and threw it away.
--- Anon
Screwed his girlfriend on top of the telly.
Ignoring the drama,
He'd rama and rama,
While she watched the show on her belly.
--- Anon
He found her in heat; i.e. passion.
They were both hot-to-trot,
Of course, and why not?
They wanted it to be "people fashion."
--- Ed Wolfert P8306
To a witch who's a consummate bore;
But she did train him right.
He makes dinner each night,
With a roll on the table or floor.
--- Ann Gasser P9311
"And with me stasivalent, we knew (only screw standing)
On the night we were married
That our plans had miscarried
And that we're destined never to screw."
--- A N Wilkins P8801
Although seldom the kind to convict on,
Do include one or two
Of the sort that a few
Of the townsfolk are overly strict on.
--- Keith MacMillan 104a
I'm eager for lifting great boulders.
Pretend they're your thighs
And just close your eyes...
I'll lift them to over your shoulders.
--- Michael Polo P8909
And said, "Honey I'm itchin'
For a new position
In our next coition;
The thought of it starts my log twitchin'!"
--- Jeanie
And I know just where we should start.
You stand by the sink
And make dishes clink.
I'll sit on the sofa and fart.
--- Jeanie
Was right about crowded conditions,
Then for sex, we must say,
We will screw in one way;
There'll be no room to change our positions.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2757
I proceeded to position my head.
Before she awoke,
I gave her a poke,
And then blew a load on the bed!
--- Limberick
We have all night, this is not a test.
And when I recover,
We'll try to discover
Which of the ways we like best!
--- Kaylin
Well, hop on and pump hard and strong,
'Cause my pecker's erect
And I'm horny as heck --
I've enough here to ride all night long!
--- Anon
She loves to rub choad in her twat.
When she grinds her muff
Way down on my stuff,
Her 38 C's bounce a lot.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Your quimmy all oozy and pouncing!
This angle too soft?
Go on, break it off!
Just give me the ultimate flouncing!
--- H Welchel
I am glad you have chosen to share.
Your hips I will straddle,
And ride you sans saddle,
And feel you buck and thrust like a mare
--- Anon
And your puss will be juicy for fuckin'.
And as we reminisce
About our first kiss,
You'll be ridin' my horsey, a-buckin'
--- Anon
In being a DOWN UNDER bride.
But when passions grow,
UP OVER they go
So DOWN UNDER men they can ride.
--- Irving Superior P8611
Being had by a "female superior."
When she's riding on top
I'll only make her stop
If I want to finish in her posterior.
--- Anon
A warm soapy rag oft does the trick.
For if I drift off
After such a boff,
I may awaken with shit on the stick.
--- Anon
To tell a he-man that you wonder
If it seems a bit wry
To know when a guy,
When he rogers a girl, is down under.
--- A N Wilkins P8611
Especially when you're riding above.
You moan with such class,
When I play with your ass,
And your coo's are just like a dove.
--- M Foster
Is to keep sand from scratching their hide.
When climax they reach,
On a moonlit beach,
They do it while riding astride.
--- Frank Fazed a
I said, "Cherie, I want to polka."
And she really let rip
When I opened my zip,
As she cunningly straddled my joker.
--- Peter Wilkins
When on top, she can go like a train.
And this female express
Would outrun even Bess,
If I don't let the train take the strain.
--- Tiddy Ogg
(Or so report many a date,)
She'll bounce on their dong,
But takes far too long,
Like trains, man, she often comes late.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Who only comes once and too early.
When doing a boff
From on top she gets off,
So quick I'm left loaded and surly.
--- John Miller
Smelled beaver and sat down beside her;
A great man for action,
He got satisfaction
In less than a minute astride her.
--- Armand Singer
She smothered his boner with lotion;
Then she straddled his rod,
And she coaxed out his wad
With a highly elaborate motion.
--- Cap'n Bean
'Cause, look - then your hair won't get messed.
It does not look easy
And might make me queasy.
I'm not putting THAT to the test.
--- Anon
From a trip to the land of the Norse.
It was not to her liking
To be fucked by a Viking,
Who had failed to dismount from his horse.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0751
Told his date as he slid it inside,
"I'd much rather you'd hop
On and function atop,
Than to lie there while I am astride."
--- Arthur Deex P0112
MORE