There once was a man named John Howard. John Howard has run out of time. While Aussies are noted for dryness, John Howard of Bennelong Shire, A lying diminutive rat Mark Latham's policy on tax An election is looming Down Under, Where Freedom is a word we say It's Australian federal polling day, Peter Costello has one great need: Our PM was called Howard; To what does this voter aspire? Bob Brown hates the logging of trees "We'll cut down the rate of abortion," What a sad spectacle is before us; Our democracy's a big sham; A rodent who lied, called John; Education has gone all to hell, There once was a PM named John; So the time has come to choose The Howardian ero is over I once had a liberal neighbor So...Slobby rejected our deal; It's that old thing, Catch 22, Since NATO a war can't afford, (If Clinton would not, maybe Gore'd).
If our soldiers' defences unravel (cavil - chickenshit quibbling)
The gypsies need someplace to go. There was an old man from Belgrade, Yes, and an old lady too Before the bombs started arriving, Both ladies and men teach kids hate; It's the Serbs, Bill will now reprimand. There was a big jerk from Belgrade,
This is file vyl
The latest on Milosevic And when it comes down to the clutch, Now, the Serbs, a dysfunctional nation, Albanians want warfare to cease "Who goes there?" said St Pete, "Stop that din! A lady named Magda Lupescu Colin Powell went to the UN -- The evidence was plain as can be, France was joined by the Commie Chinese The world's people should not have to plea You would have to be blind not to see The disarmament committee, too, We are stuck with that nonsense unless Now Germany, Belgium, and France None of the three are quite able It is true, in a long ago time, Victorious Serbs remain jolly; In all of NATO, there are three -- There once was a man of great kudos Says Dubya, John Bolton's my man I'm sick of the Germans and French The Germans are opposed to a war. Adolph Hitler just ranted and raved The Chicoms, internationally, So to Germany, China, and France -- While the French do their pacifist dance, The diplomats at the UN The several speakers from France, (UN meetings)
Some speakers are very emphatic (UN meetings)
Deliciously diabolique (UN meetings)
We sit here concerned for the right, The news that his anger was molten, (Boulton - nominee for UN ambassador)
Here is news from the court that will travel: (Pentatette prize winner)
Above him all other men towered.
So to give him some size
In electoral eyes,
He bullied those most disempowered.
--- Joanne Lentern
Let's face it, he's well past his prime.
And Peter Costello's
An unpleasant fellow;
Vote Liberal? It should be a crime!
--- Donella Peters
I'm sick of sour John and his slyness.
And our head of state
(A pom, you know, mate)
A stuck up old bitch call "Her Highness."
--- Archie
Contesting it down to the wire,
Said, "Since irony works
On these ignorant jerks,
I tell them that Latham's a liar!"
--- Jeff Crez
Repeats that the truth is old hat.
Well he might think maybe
But then again, baby,
It's time that the dummy was spat.
--- Anon
Is empty, void, and it lacks
Any substance or meaning
Or political gleaning
So the voters say, "Give us the facts!"
--- Mark
Stealing the Bush-Kerry thunder.
In Oz it's a must;
Turnout here is bust.
The result: public treasuries plundered.
--- Rich
Whilst teasing the poms, les's, and gay.
One thing for sure,
We'd rather a pure
Conservative to lead the way.
--- Newsworthy
They finally will have their say,
Whether they believe
That Latham can lead.
You still have few rights, if your gay.
--- Anon
To move into the Lodge at great speed.
To do this he'll need ticker
But here is the kicker;
He has the heart of a caraway seed.
--- Anon
He was a lying coward.
He'd pick on the weak,
Pretend to be meek.
For him the voters have soured.
--- Anon
A nation that's not a pariah.
A people unfrightened,
By ideas enlightened,
And a PM who isn't a liar.
--- Susan Bee
And would plead to us on bended knees.
"I ain't no red Commie
Or a sour-faced Pommy,
But lay off our old-growth forests, please!"
--- Sydney Morning Herald
Says Howard, with blatant distortion.
Shame that this goon
Was not ripped from the womb
'Stead of born a horrific contortion.
--- Jarmo
A Liberal Laboral chorus.
Singing discordant notes
To secure our votes,
'Til one wins, and then both ignore us.
--- Anon
The winner is simply a ham,
For you know what I mean.
Whatever they seem,
Who wins? Another Polititian!
--- Archie
In Australia, the king of the con.
Off to war we were led,
37,000 Iraqi's are dead,
So on October the 9th he'll be gone.
--- John Montgomery
And the health system's not at all well.
Ask not, John Howard,
You sniveling coward,
Who will be tolling your bell.
--- Margo Steley
He'd been in power way too long.
We'll give him the sack;
He sent troops to Iraq,
When asked by George Bush, the moron.
--- Anon
The party we most want to lose.
The majors both say,
"Trust us!" on the day,
But I don't, so will vote for virtues.
--- Michael Gissing
And Latham's the dog of the drover.
In action and deeds
These men are both weeds.
Lets mulch them with some nice Green clover.
--- Michael Gissing
Who thought that JH was his savior. (John Howard)
But wars and deceptions
Have changed his perceptions.
Now he's Green, with a preference for Labor.
--- Bradfield Mutterer
It's time the serbs finally feel
The secret bomb's effect.
Lewinsky's blow is perfect
'Cause it makes every Yugoslav reel.
--- Anon
No choice but to see the thing through.
We've helped his campaignin'
To dump the Albanians;
We've just got to hope for a coup.
--- Anon
Milosevic/Clinton a sword.
In some neutral place
Let them face to face.
And bow to the one that's not gored.
--- Irving Superior
While diplomats contentedly cavil,
Then pull the troops out
And let Navy guns shout,
Till you can't tell Sarajevo from gravel.
--- Bruce Thompson
This looks like a job for NATO.
Some folks will object,
But oh, what the heck,
Let's just let them have Kosavo.
--- DC Dave
Who thought that he had it quite made.
When his skull felt a bomb,
His friends sang a psalm,
'Cause the old SOB is quite dade.
--- Anon
And some kiddies before they were through.
Our "intelligence" staff
In just one more gaffe,
And the Home pegged as Milsovec HQ.
--- Anon
The Kosovars were still surviving.
But the UN has gone,
Giving Slobo clear run;
I'm sure he's a safe hole to dive in.
--- Anon
Just look at the poor Balkans fate.
Large family sizes,
But few surprises,
Killing seems their burden great.
--- Chris Papa
He will show them the strength of his hand.
Over seventy times,
Citing Serbian crimes,
He again draws a line in the sand.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who heard begin another air raid.
He thought it would pass,
But his head's in his ass,
So to Hell he was not delayed.
--- Anon
He lives in a cell inside which
His cell mate named James,
Who's no good with names;
Calls him Slobberdown Mydickyoubitch
--- Anon
Old Milosevic hasn't got much.
Resistance is futile,
Our response will be brutal
With big B2 bombers and such.
--- Anon
Deem Albanians dross of creation.
After centuries of crap
Might they unite and zap
Macedonians, out of frustration?
--- Anon
And the Serbs to just leave them in peace.
Then with all their might,
They can start fight
Macedonia onward to Greece.
--- Anon
Needn't knock if your cleansed of all sin.
Slob Milosevic? Hey!
Go to hell right away!"
"Sir, I did, but they won't let me in!"
--- Prof M-G
Once came to Rumania's rescue.
She said, "It's the thing
To be under a king:
Who wants a republic, I ask you?"
--- William K Alsop Jr
Made the case against Saddam, and then
He showed the smoking gun.
And when he was done,
Some didn't see -- where could they have been?
--- Al Bienstock
Althought the French couldn't agree
That what was in plain sight
Showed the US is right.
Some are blind 'cause they choose not to see.
--- Al Bienstock
Urging restraint -- we should just appease.
That's, of course, no surprise,
So let's not close our eyes
To their blindness -- I now ask you, Please!
--- Al Bienstock
To Iraq's madman on bended knee,
Hoping Saddam Hussein
Will chose to self-restrain.
Some are blind 'cause they choose not to see.
--- Al Bienstock
The UN is a joke, inherently.
The next committee chair
On terrorism, I swear --
Libya's dictator, Qadaffi.
--- Al Bienstock
Would be a joke if it weren't true
That to lead the rat pack
Will be Saddam's Iraq.
The animals are running the zoo!
--- Al Bienstock
We acknowledge that it is a mess
And we leave the UN
As our step one, and then
Get the UN out of the US.
--- Al Bienstock
Want us to give Saddam one more chance.
But militarily
Each is a wannabe,
And that accounts for their anti-war stance.
--- Al Bienstock
To bring anything to the war table.
Any prowess they've had
Is now gone, and it's sad;
Their leadership roles are a fable.
--- Al Bienstock
Each one, in its own way, was sublime.
They cite their history
But as all plainly see,
As powers they are all past their prime.
--- Al Bienstock
In foreign affairs, Bill is folly.
For a fall guy he aims
It's the U.N. he blames;
He'll pin it on Butros, by golly.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
France, Belgium and Germany --
Who would not be all for
Helping Turkey in war --
Of nineteen, they're a minority.
--- Al Bienstock
Whos dissed the U.S. while U.N. boss.
All but one voice hollered, "Neato!"
But U.S. answered "Veto!"
And the dollar beats a holler... vale, Boutros!
--- Mesterton-Gibbons MG9612
To berate the U.N. with my plan.
To dictate everything
As the Earth's supreme king,
'Cause he bullies whenever he can!
--- Aug 2005
As they carp at us from the backbench.
Yet to us they've appealed
Each time they need a shield --
From old Europe there comes a great stench.
--- Al Bienstock
They've lost the ones they've started before.
But their campaigns went bust
'Cause their cause wasn't just --
It matters greatly just what you fight for.
--- Al Bienstock
And to him the French government caved.
Their armed force was a mess
Yet they're loath to confess,
Without our help, they'd not have been saved.
--- Al Bienstock
Side with evil -- invariably.
US versus Iraq;
No doubt they will back
Not the country whose people are free.
--- Al Bienstock
You can babble, and lecture, and prance.
But of you we are bored.
You're just three mice that snored --
For redemption you gave up this chance.
--- Al Bienstock
On their efforts we should look askance.
French backbones were bared
When their leaders were scared
And let Germany occupy France.
--- Al Bienstock
Are deeply preoccupied men.
Each one sits on his ass
Hoping dangers will pass,
Then they'll sit and do nothing again.
--- Warrick Elrod
Discreetly attired in black pants,
Make loud protestations
And mild denegrations
About international detentes.
--- Harold E Hoelscher P8907
With gesticulations dramatic,
But oh for the verve
And the zing and the nerve
Of the Translatoress, she's ecstatic.
--- Harold E Hoelscher P8907
This orational rack is unique.
We sit on our dums
And twiddle our thumbs,
While the speaker continues to speak.
--- Harold E Hoelscher P8907
For matters of joy and of light,
But it's under the rug
For anything ug
Ly or whatever is not a delight.
--- Harold E Hoelscher P8907
And he bullied his staff was so joltin',
That the Dems can give thanks
In Republican ranks,
Some members are leanin' toweards boltin'.
--- Limerick Savant
Justice X has begun to unravel!
When he works on a probe
In the depths of his robe,
What he's pounding there isn't his gavel!
--- Jim O'Conner P9110a