I don't mean to burst your bubble;
They're all crooked but that's not the trouble.
It ain't that it's bent;
That's not what she meant;
It's the fact that the fucker's bent double!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

She declined Clinton's presidential erection,
Because under closer inspection,
And absolute fright,
Bent left 'stead of right!
This is the real cause for rejection.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

"Miss Jones," Clinton said, with affection,
"Oh please, won't you lick my erection?"
But Paula, so silly, (But Donna, the tart,)
Misunderstood Willy, (Misunderstood Hard)
And thought he said: "Wreck my election."

(Said Gary, "My dear," with affection,
--- Martin Wellborn P9408

This weird bimbo who turned on the heat,
Has chutzpah a guy cannot beat;
I am saving my breath,
She should be thrilled to death
That I asked her to come to my suite!
--- Ann Gasser P9408

The Prez and Paula were to meet;
Pres neglected to watch his big feet.
He tripped and he fell,
The knee it took hell,
And Paula, she suffered de feat!
--- WLP

The thing Paula's critics don't see
Is that she was a state employee.
If the boss wants to play,
Must she yield and obey?
Should a lecher be let off scot-free?
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Bill Clinton said, "Lookie here, guys,
That Paula is telling you lies.
Return her brassiere
And then come back here.
Don't forget to bring back some French fries."
--- Al Willis T9707

Bill chose Paula Jones from the flock
And sent word that he wanted to talk.
Paula wrongly assumed
She'd be safe in the room.
Can a chicken be safe from a hawk?
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Bill Clinton has lust in his heart,
And Paula is only a part
Of the ones he undressed
And never confessed.
For records, he has a fine chart!
--- Al Willis T9801

So, a bent-pecker expert are you,
Having handled a number or two;
Paula's got nerve
To claim that this curve
Should cause a diplomatic SNAFU.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

At times, the Yank leader named Clinton,
Would pretend that his dickie had lint on.
Pulling out his whang bent, he
Feigned dusting it gently.
But Paula knew what he was hintin'.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

The evidence really is ample,
But on Paula the feminists trample.
Even Betty Friedan
Says that Bill's just a man;
It's hypocracy's greatest example.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Is Paula Jones speaking the truth?
Should we hire more than one sleuth?
Was Clinton just smitten
By this sexy kitten?
And will we find out in our youth?
--- Dennis B. T9707

Bill asked Paula to come to his suite,
And hopefully showed her his meat.
"Don't cause me no fuss,
Just give it a buss.
You look like a girl that's discreet."

(she is ugly in face, voice and manner - McW)
--- Anon

We know how the old story goes,
The import of appearance grows.
In the spotlight's glare,
No more need to stare;
Paula Jones will get a new nose.
--- Frank Fazed

Clinton spied Paula Jones; he was stirred.
A state trooper was sent with the word:
"You should be elated,
A new job's been created,
And chicks with big hair are preferred."
--- Jim Weaver Collection

"Your Honor," said Ms. Paula Jones,
"On the pretense of answering his phones,
He asked me to watch
While he unzipped his crotch,
And he then tried to jump on my bones."
--- Martin Wellborn P9709a

A high-ranking southern corn pone
Must be feeling a chill in his bones.
He faces deposin'
And may end up frozen,
From exposure, cold shoulder and Jones.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Is Paula Jones speaking the truth?
Bill's memory's dulled by vermouth.
We'll remind the old Guv
That was Lust, never Love.
Willie never get over his youth?
--- Poet Lariat T9707

Paula worried that she would be fired.
"Just forget it," at first she desired.
If he had admitted,
Still no crime's committed;
A minimum size is required.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

After telling us, "Never, no never!"
Paula posed in the altogether.
From naked in Penthouse
She can dress for the courthouse,
But she's shed credibility forever.
--- Dr Limerick

Paula was poor from buying sunblock,
So she called Michael Jackson's doc.
Her old snot chute
Resembled a flute,
But she still is a laughingstock.
--- S C Saint

How he cried when he lost the election;
Cried and cried until he had no erection.
So he took Paula Jones
Shook her all to the bones,
And since then, she enjoyed his protection.
--- Sarita Montial T9801

Our sax-playing President did plead,
"Paula, please come wet my reed."
"I cannot comply,"
She said with a sigh,
"To do such a dastardly deed."
--- Anon

Before Clinton had even met her,
He sent out a trooper to get her.
Paula's visit was brief,
But brought grief, not relief.
Though he tries, we know Bill won't forget her.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

The Paula Jones case was dismissed,
But she's only just one on the list
Of those claiming Bill's rod,
Is exceedingly odd.
But in her case, it didn't get kissed.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

That Paula, he thought, was some filly;
When pants dropped, she thought him quite silly.
But then later she'd file
And he sure lost his smile.
He should never have whipped out old Willy.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

From Bill's speech we are glad to report,
Comes a line with which we will have sport.
"Nothing big comes from small";
We don't doubt it at all.
That what Paula will prove in the court.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

The press has described a love bower;
But I stayed all alone, just an hour.
I hope Paula recants;
(Well, I did drop my pants;
I was just on my way to the shower.)
--- Al Willis T9710

The next weeks could become a nightmare
As Bill Clinton is forced to prepare
For the Paula Jones case,
And then comes face to face
With the gal he showed his underwear.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

"At sympathy, I am well-trained,
So when Paula uncouthly complained
Of a pain in her ass,
I never harass.
I just offered to feel where she pained."
--- David Finley P9610

Paula says she'll describe what she saw,
As the governor stood in the raw.
His crude invitation
Did not need translation.
What he needed was a right to the jaw!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

"I gave Paula Jones a direction
To help me bring off my election.
But my Arkansaweese
Sounding somewhat Chinese,
Brought a blush to the poor girl's complexion."
--- Arthur Deex P9608

This is file vtm

"You must know I've an enemies' list.
So you all better cease and desist.
Paula Jones? This could cost her;
Don't forget old Vince Foster.
You have seen what transpires when I'm pissed."
--- William N Nesbit P9610

"To Ms. Jones, I said, 'I'm not a pro,
But they call me a virtuoso
With my sax instrument.
Yes, I'm quite competent.
Take it out and let's give it a blow.'"
--- William N Nesbit P9610

"In my garden, where weeds tend to grow,
I made Paula an offer, to hoe.
I recruited her for
A hoe job, nothing more;
Entry level; fringe benefits, though."
--- Tom Patton P9610

"I swear to God, on my mother's bones
That I didn't touch Ms. Paula Jones.
I reject and dismiss
The idea I'd kiss.
I save my lips for the saxophones."
--- Tom Patton P9610

Said Paula to Governor Clinton,
"That screwing for which you've been hintin'?
Well you won't get it yet,
But you sure can bet
That you will when you start presidentin'."
--- Arthur Deex P9406a

"Paula Jones, lying nude, made me pale.
I refused her brash offer of tail.
He legs spread a bit
And I licked on her clit.
But I swear that I didn't inhale!"
--- Al Chaplin P9610a

"I've got real astro turf in my pad.
So I truly thought she might be glad,
When I said, quite discreetly,
'Come up, you can meet me.'
I don't know why Ms. Jones is so mad."
--- William N Nesbit P9610

In spite of all her moans and groans
I deny ever meeting Paula Jones.
I do solemnly swear
That I was never there.
Someone must have made one of those clones.
--- P9610

"Here's what happened. I swear that it's true.
What I asked the state trooper to do
Was, 'Go tell her, said I,
This old room's really high.
Come on up and enjoy a great VIEW."
--- William N Nesbit P9610

She says Clinton's pecker is bent,
Though she doesn't know which way it went.
Did it grow, on a whim,
To be crooked like him?
(Or am I misjudging the gent?)
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Paula Jones plans to see the case through.
Willy did it, I'll prove it to you.
I've seen his private part
On which he displays art:
Tiny hanmmer and sickle tattoo.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

"Your Honor, please don't think me funky--
That one puff hasn't made me a junky.
It's all a mistake.
I just asked her to take
Some candy and play with my monkey."
--- Arthur Deex P9609

Paula Jones will again have to wait
If Bill side-steps another court date.
In the end, we will find,
Justice is indeed blind
To the plight of unwilling playmates.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

It's said Paula Jones thinks she's scored,
'Cause a leftward veer can't be ignored.
But a list to the port
Couldn't stand up in court,
With port as common as starboard.
--- Prof M-G

Slick Willy, with his distinguished curve,
Certainly has plenty of nerve.
When he ordered: "Paula, get oral."
She said, "No, that's immoral,"
And declined his presidential d'oevre.
--- Anon

When Bill's henchmen said, "Paula, Hey you!"
Follow us, Not much for you to do."
Little did she know
Something was 'bout to grow,
When she entered that "room with a view!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Rued Bill Clinton: "That Miss Such-and-such
Would have meant no sworn lies to retouch,
If I'd settled my part
With Miss Jones at the start,
And it wouldn't have cost half as much.
--- Prof M-G

When Bill Clinton was feeling the spirit,
He craves feminine company to cheer it.
He chose Paula one day
But she said, "No way!"
Left the room and refused to go near it.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Miss Jones had a seductive flavor
That Clinton just wanted to savor.
She he sent down his goon
To bring her to his room,
But she screamed and denied him the favor.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

There once was a White House intern,
Who Clinton's attentions did earn.
While fucking her silly,
It seems that Slick Willie
Forgot about Paula's return.
--- Michael W Johnson

The Clintons have spent all their dough,
Because of that slut, Paula Jo.
She might have been worth
What she asked for, at first,
If she only was willing to blow!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Clinton's lawyers now work to dispel
Paula's claims that emit a foul smell.
Bill has given the job
To his pal, "Uncle Bob",
To avoid a courtroom "Show and Tell".
--- Jim Weaver Collection

"She entirely misread what I meant.
My intentions were most innocent.
I said, 'You strike me as
A keen lover of jazz--
Let me show you my sax instrument.'"
--- William N Nesbit P9610

A governor requiring some head
Told a lady before she had fled,
"Oh, Please, don't dismiss it!
At least, would you kiss it!"
But she sued the poor bastard instead!
--- Don Hart

There once was a beautiful slut,
Who enjoyed playing games on her butt,
But then she got old,
And seldom got rolled.
Said her lawyer, I'll sue for a cut.
--- Joseph McEwen P9407

It has been reported I erred.
It was not Ms. Flowers who stared.
Ms. Jones was the checker
Of Billy's wee pecker
When at her, his member he bared.
--- Anon

The Jones case points up Clinton's flaws,
And has grown in importance because
The voters want facts.
Did he solicit sex acts?
Bottom line: Does he smirk at our laws?
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Bill Clinton thought he could compel
Sexual favors from state personnel.
He sought to cavort
By dropping his shorts,
Not expecting Miss Jones to rebel.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Governor Willy's face got quite red,
When he said, "Paula, give me some head."
He pulled down his pants,
And expected romance,
But Miss Jones sued his dumb ass, instead.
--- Jack Qualman

When Paula observed his Big Pickle
His politics looked more than just fickle.
His tool was quite weird,
With a little gray beard,
And tattoos of a Hammer and Sickle.
--- Anon

"Ms. Jones says that I made a pass,
And being unsuccessful did harass.
It's an insult and disgrace
To say this to my face:
After all, my technique is world class."
--- Tom Patton P9610

So Paula Jones case bit the dust,
In spite of the Preesident's lust.
Though we know what he did,
He's our best "Comeback Kid" --
Until the boom times turn to bust.
--- CB TP9804

Said Willy to the young Paula Jones,
"I'd like to hear your sighs and moans.
So if you've the nerve,
To deep throat this curve,
I will tickle your erogenous zones."
--- Anon

Paula Jones proved to be very smart,
When asked to perform oral art.
"I will not," she said,
"Put that thing in my head.
"Do you think I'm a trailer park tart?"
--- Anon