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Since Phogbound must go on the floor, Said Phogbound, "I'm poor at retarding. After admitting his youthful indiscretion, And now, as the press starts to heckle, I heard whispers from the mummified aardvark In New York, freshman Senator Hillary Ambitious is Senator Hillary, Now Hillary, she's in a jam; When paying the note, please remember The Clintons -- Bill and Hillary both -- Jack Ryan is just out of luck; Jeffords said, "It just cannot be true! Jesse Helms' chauffeur drove him quite far, Has the grand Ship of State been beached? On principle, Jesse's inclined Jesse Helms is a nasty old prune. Jesse Helms was consumed with lust; "Repent of your predispositions; (Jesse Helms 2000 blessing the convention)
When Jim Jeffords rebelled over taxes, When the party is over," Bill said, When Jeffords left, he crossed the aisle. The Senate, that debating forum, The Senate's respected McCain A senator is oft called a whore, Our Senate, whose wit (as suspected) On this subject I can't get alarmed; It's not hard to perceive the intent A chap from Ohio called Glenn -- Claims Republican Senator Lott: I give you our Senator Lott; The issue of race segregation The bum-patting Senator Pack, (Senator Packwood ousted from the Senate 1995)
Have you heard about Senator Smed Said Senator David I. Walsh, Senator Lott and Senator Daschle A Senator, learned, from Texas, Strom Thurmond, that Southern gay blade (Strom fathered a mulatto by his upstair maid)
Strom Thurmond, a friend of the Klan, Segregationist Senator Strom As he ranted with gutteral rasp, On land, Daschle's a snake in the grass. By far not the first politico Walter Mondale, our hero, alas - The GOP plans to rely When does a senator lie? I am against those polits who lie, The gun lobbies have lots of gall; It's become such a commonplace fate I didn't intend to bring everyone down, So now they would teach about guns Another child has died by the gun, We will keep all our rifles and guns; We'll keep all our guns and our rifles; We'll search all the kids, if we must. We'll take away the rights of others; Metal detectors at every door; Just how many times must I tell you? A.R.A., N.R.A., rag. Photo ops and sound bites galore, A picture's worth more than a word. Politicians aren't slow to declare Most viewers in Britain still choose I just want to hear you blather; A cartoonist I find interestin' Thought Elian, "While I was boating, (Elian Gonzales sought asylum)
A loyal young patriot, Bess, Politicians have sure got it made;
And hasn't quite brought off his whore,
He endeavors by proxy
To finish his doxy;
The Sergeant-at-Arms gets the chore.
--- G0736
When attempted, it just leads to farting.
No slow pokes for me,
Let the jizz flow like pee!
I'm no Warren Gamaliel Harding!"
--- G0737
Said Hyde with a souring expression,
"Its hard to see Bill
Has got such a thrill,
And none for me in this session."
--- Anon
The Congress and look for a speckle
Or flaw in each one,
This business should teach one
Inside Henry Hyde may hide Jekyll.
--- Anon A
'Bout next year's Senate race in New York;
Bill heard 'em and tripped,
Boffed the beast in that crypt;
"Beats kissin' babies; that's hard work!"
--- Anon
Is not a big fan of artillery.
"Our foes we should fight
With diplomacy." (right!)
And the Army is just an ancillary.
--- Chris Strolin
Discharging election artillery;
A would-be Evita
(I call it excreta);
Oh where is the old public pillory?
--- Armand Singer
Young folks say she's full of bad spam.
Carpetbagging sucks.
Even with big bucks,
They won't vote for her. She'll be ham.
--- Anon
How cold is a New York November.
If Hillary don't pan, (out)
Will Alan Greenspan
Cut the interest for you come December?
--- Anon
Thought they needed some new income growth.
So they abused power
And asked for a "shower"
Before she said her Senate oath.
--- Anon
His chances in politics suck.
He committed no crime.
He just wanted one time
For folks to watch Jack and wife fuck.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0408
A conservative? I had no clue!
Now my feelings are hurt
And I plan to desert!
That'll show that old George W!"
--- William N Nesbit P0107
'Round by Hildy's Celestial Bar.
When the nuns in the place
Glimpsed the Senator's face,
They threw angel dung at his car.
--- Anon
Is White Willy pure or just bleached?
If I were elected
And these poems detected,
Would Jesse Helms want me impeached?
--- MrMalo
To let U.N. dues fall behind.
But along comes Ted Turner
To pay off the furriners --
Helm's principles get no nevermind.
--- Election 2000
His face surely isn't rough-hewn.
In fact, the fascist fucker's
Face tend to pucker
Like he's been sippin' cold piss off a spoon.
--- Jim Weaver Collection A
He said, "I shouldn't beat off, but I must!"
Though shriveled and teeny,
He wanged his old weenie;
When he came, his pecker shot dust!
--- Jim Weaver Collection a
We'll have some more inquisitions.
All can be saved.
Find the depraved;
Make them all act like good christians."
--- Karen
The world shuddered, but maintained its axis.
Then Jim walked 'cross the aisle
While Bill, true to his style,
Had a few amatory climaxes.
--- William N Nesbit P0107
"I'll be taking this bimbo to bed."
Jim said, "After a while (Jim Jeffords switched parties)
I'll be crossing the aisle --
But first, may I go with you?" he said.
--- William N Nesbit P0107
Just look at those Democrats smile.
When Bill leaves the party,
He proves he's the smarty;
It's upstairs with a girl for a while.
--- Tom Patton P0107
Won't rely on phony decorum.
Mitch McConnell is tough
And if that's not enough,
The third man in line is Santorum.
--- Al Bienstock
Gives Dubya intestinal pain.
When Republicans fight,
A split on the right.
Says Pelosi, "Who am I to complain?"
--- Arnie Schoenbrun
An exceedingly apt METAPHOR.
He'd sell his soul
For a better poll,
Then defend his virtue on the Floor.
--- Norm Brust
Was arrested, will keep us protected.
What kids see on the Net
Not the motive, we fret,
But obsession to be re-elected.
--- Cyber Geezer
It's a battle of wits, no one's harmed.
Yet I cannot endorse
This battle of course,
Since the Senate is clearly unarmed.
--- Anon
Of the liberal white-haired old gent.
But it did seem quite odd
To see Senator Dodd,
Walking 'round in the GOP tent.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who spent hours in earth orbit, back when;
Then for years was Earthbound --
In his fourth Senate round
Is elected to orbit again!
--- Paul Hoffman
I'm no racist; that's Democrat rot!
Had you voted for Strom,
Like the folks where I'm from,
We'd be problemless, now would we not?
--- Anon
A lover of nigras he's not.
But you can't let your mouth
Be the voice of the South;
Just look at the mess it begot.
--- Armand Singer
Is more than just party affiliation.
But more likely than not,
Our ex-Senator Lott
Would vote party line for damnation.
--- Phil T
Never used a frontal attack.
He came from the rear
With too little fear.
His cause had effect: It's the sack.
--- Pope
Whose political chances are dead?
He arrived two hour late
For his fundraising date
With a garterbelt tied 'round his head.
--- Robin K Willoughby P8411
This is file vtl
"Those charges against me are falsh.
Though I did go to Brooklyn
For sooklyn and fooklyn,
Not a gob laid his hands on my balsh."
--- L0522
With amazingly minimal hassle,
Agreed on the rules
For allowing the mules
And pachyderms to get down and wrassle.
--- Dr Limerick
Said that reading and writing perplexes.
But a new senate ruling
Made demands on some schooling --
Now he signs his full name with two X's.
--- Al Chaplin P8812
Was often guilty of FANFARONADE.
He dipped his wick
In many a chick,
Including the upstairs maid.
--- Norm Brust
Who Lott called a great American,
Was a dirty rat
When a Dixiecrat.
And still when he turned Dixiecan.
--- Phil T
Wouldn't say where the maid's child came from...
But it lately appears
After eighty odd years,
That by him was the maid made a mom!
--- Anon
Daschle seemed to be losing his grasp.
Fine Tom's fading power
Grows less with each hour.
Soon he'll be just a small, fang-less asp.
--- Betty Ann Cansano
In a school of sharks, he heads the class.
He's as daft as a loon
When he brays at the moon,
As majority leader jackass.
--- Anon
Who turned out to be his own worst foe,
'Twas no slip of the lip
That sank Trent Lott's ship,
And cause our "House of Lords" bid him go.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0301
Just doesn't show us much class.
The problem's been major
Since as a teen-ager,
He had a charisma by-pass.
--- Arthur Deex P8411
On Cheney, to break a few ties;
Meanwhile Daschle
Can't do much but hassle
And on Strom Thurmond's health, keep an eye.
--- Dr Limerick
It's seen by the casual eye.
He fabricates pips
When he moves his lips.
(A fact he will loudly deny.)
--- Jim Jambor P9101
Tossing poo like pie in the sky,
But I'm for free beers
That are served in brassiers
With a shake and an order of thighs!
--- Brian Belge
So do those who want no guns at all.
So here is the puzzle:
Should we muzzle the muzzle,
Or those who would muzzle us all?
--- John Miller 0360
To be killed by a raging schoolmate.
Is there no solution
For this peer execution?
Who is teaching them to calibrate?
--- S C Saint
By noting this scholastic battleground.
But my rage and my pity
For another lost kiddie
Is causing my mind to lock down.
--- S C Saint
(As soon as they're given more funds).
You know what they'll do,
They'll screw that up too.
We'll lose all our rights when its done.
--- Paul Franklin
Before his life had even begun.
Killed by another
For some reason or other.
Lord, what's happening to everyone?
--- S C Saint
Through the deaths of our daughters and sons.
We have a right to bear arms;
No matter who it harms,
To defend ourselves against the Huns.
--- Darren
We will not be bothered with trifles.
We must feel like men;
It is our Zen; ,
--- Darren
We'll rob them of their innocent trust;
To protect our right;
Our right to fight;
Our right to pursue our unholy lust.
--- Darren
No matter the rights that it smothers.
We will play
And we will slay;
That is if I do have my druthers.
--- Darren
Take their freedoms, and then take some more.
Children must walk in fear;
Death maybe lurks near;
We will dehumanize them to the core!
--- Darren
Will Jonesboro, Springfield compel you
To see it's a hoax;
That guns don't kill folks?
Don't buy what the NRA sells you!
--- Prof M-G
Either makes me want to gag.
When we put some guns
In the hands of our sons,
Some return in a body bag.
--- Arden
TV news has much scandal and gore.
And if it is bleeding,
Why, then it is leading.
Drama is what we adore.
--- Lynn Mostafa
People are a ravenous herd.
If they try to explain,
We switch channels again.
Not the media, but the public's absurd.
--- Lynn Mostafa
Have one type of company share.
But unless in distress
With the press, they don't 'fess
Up when company share means affair!
--- Prof M-G TP9901
The impartial recounting of views
By the government station
Maintained by the nation;
Yes, this is the BBC News.
--- Rory Ewins
It puts me right into a lather.
Meaning detracts
From the issues and facts
On hand or on something we'd rather.
--- Anon
Was arrested for merely suggestin'
That all politicians
Be drawn in positions
Other than those they look best in.
--- Barrie Collins P9603
The danger of sharks, I was noting.
But none did I see
'Til I reached Miami.
Now wherever I look, they are gloating.
--- Prof M-G
Said, "Although it occasions distress,
I try to be pleased
Whenever I'm squeezed.
After all, that the freedom of press."
--- Isaac Asimov
In addition to being well paid,
From what we've seen
On the TV screen,
They have no trouble getting laid.
--- MrMalo
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