In the White House there's nothing to fear,
For in spite of the things you may hear,
Events aren't complex.
Bill had telephone sex
And developed an infected ear.
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9803a

As King Bill nightly paces his tower,
His conquest of the White House tastes sour.
For he's never alone,
Always watched by his crone,
And the ghosts of Miss Jones and Miss Flowers.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

The problems, not just Paula Jones,
And also those Sweetwater loans;
Republicans jabbing;
And Hillary crabbing;
And William's erogenous zones.
--- Irving Superior P9709

Bill was caught once in bed
With a lady and hands in the red.
When asked where he stabbed her,
He said he just grabbed her
And fingered her pussy instead.
--- Bellal

I doubt Billy boy will be gloating
At surviving the seas he's been boating,
For he had the temerity
To leave for posterity
Come-stains on the Whitehouse wainscoting.
--- Anon

When with troopers, our Bill chews the fat,
On the Bible, he often does chat:
"More precious than rubies
Are young girls with big boobies,
Or at least it is something like that."
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Is this country the greatest, or what?
Our Presidents tell us a lot;
Some heroes, a charmer,
A fine peanut farmer,
And a slick connoisseur of young twat.
--- John Miller 0262

Your daughter thinks Willy is hipper
And he can inspire like the Gipper.
But from what is now known
Would you trust them alone?
Of course, with a lock on his zipper.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Some feel that our Prez has been slandered,
That to sleaze-thirst, the media's pandered.
But I'm at a loss,
Why a Mafia Boss
Would be held to a far higher standard.

(John Giotti convicted statutory rape)
--- John Miller

Whenever Bill gets an erection
Does it bend in a constant direction?
Or maybe the dangle
And probable angle
Depends on magnetic deflection.
--- Peter W

Marsha Scott, Bill thought, had a great body,
And her morals, like his, were quite shoddy.
Bill's an old star trek fan;
Captain Kirk was his man,
Often shouting "Beam me aboard Scotty!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection

My limericks are series of ravings,
On President's misbehavings,
Much more than just sex,
Stability wrecks,
All due to his lusty cravings.
--- Chris Papa

I'm wondering just what it would take
To convince you old Bill's on the make.
If we got a snapshot
Of her hand on his cock,
Would you say it was just a mistake?
--- Mike Hunter

Said the president, somewhat distraught,
When surprised at a young lady's twat,
"There were times, I'm afraid,
When mistakes have been made --
But a voyeur for certain I'm not.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2963

Poor Billy boys hopes are dim;
His chances in future are slim.
Still president yet
But these days I bet,
Even I get more pussy than him.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Whipped cream is a favorite of Willie.
He pleases each Paula and Millie.
Grape jelly if fine,
And even red wine.
And once, he tried out piccalilli.
--- Al Willis

Said an aide to Bill Clinton one day
"The abortion bill came through today.
Tell me what I should do?
Would you like to read through?"
Said Bill, "Go ahead, and just pay!"
--- The Friar P9803a

Continuing talk of the pillow
And lathering intern willow
Are to tail painful,
Following baneful
Presidential peccadillo.
--- Daniel Ford

That which poisons is truly BANE,
As Willy's peccadillo train
Taints us all with trash,
When we joke and bash,
Forgetting more lofty goal strain.
--- Daniel Ford

New alligations abound;
There's evidence yet to be found.
I don't know how it ends,
But I'll tell you this, friends,
That thing of his sure gets around.
--- MrMalo

I don't mean to be an old grouch,
But Bill doesn't have much in his pouch.
I picture his winky
To be somewhat dinky;
That it's true, many women can vouch!
--- Annie Jay

Some limericks link Clinton, the clown,
With the Son having greatest renown.
They're a whole different class,
(Though when it comes to ass --
They both rode one, right into town).
--- John Miller 0300 A

Asked a survey of women, not men,
"Would you have sex with the Prez in his den?"
Sixty-eight wouldn't say;
Thirty-one said "I'm gay!"
Six hundred said "Never again!"
--- H Myers A

It's the whole damn country Bill's lousing,
And not just the girls he's unblousing.
Yet it could be worse,
For he might write verse,
Instead of seeking new housing.
--- Rusty Smith

If all of the White House Floors
Were cleaned by nothing but whores,
Then Bill and his tool
Would wholeheartedly drool,
And semen would splatter the doors.
--- Joe Zanchi

There once as a hermit named Bill
Who kept a dead whore on the hill.
There's no fear she'll talk,
And she doesn't balk;
Sometimes he shares her with Hill.
--- Skumbunny

In an old Arkansas cabbage patch,
Horny Bill was hoping to catch
A cute southern doll
Who'd say with a drawl,
"C'mon, lemme show ya mah snatch!"
--- Everett Parke

The Clintons have spent all the dough
On whom, and on what, I don't know.
But I bet it is Bill
Who's over the Hill,
And is looking for somthing to "GO".
--- Friar T9801

I have never asked someone to lie.
I just couldn't. I'd much rather die;
But if women are willing
To stand up to their 'Billing',
Who would argue about it? Not I.
--- Bill Taylor P9808

"You question my ethics? That's aggrievin'.
To tell her to lie'd be deceivin'.
I just wouldn't lie;
I'd much rather die.
I stood up for what I believe in!"
--- Tom Patton P9805

With Executive Privilege invoked,
Truth is more easily cloaked.
Bill's aides need not show
What they really do know;
Which lass was stroked and which poked.
--- Everett Parke

Though married, Bill still likes to date;
It's apparently OK with his mate.
But his penchant to stray
Led to full-blown decay.
Now his backside is caught in Tail-gate!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Bill advises, "Don't seek to encumber
My record with the exact number
Of my indescretions --
They're small imperfections;
The public would much rather slumber!"
--- Everett Parke

This is file vrm

There once was a Presidential Dud
Who enjoyed his pleasures of pud.
When asked by Ken Starr,
"Who do you think you are?"
Came Bill's reply, "I'm the First Stud!"
--- Frank Petersohn

Can't pity the President's plight;
It's sure self-inflicted, all right.
A sexual vandal,
He'll always court scandal,
To conservative critics' delight.
--- Michael W Johnson

Months ago Bill appeared on TV
And waggled his finger at me.
Then with eyes fairly flashing,
Gave us all a tongue lashing,
For questioning his sexual sprees.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

While married to Hillary, Billy
Had escapades that you'd call silly.
In bed he would thrash,
With base trailer trash,
Or some other sexy young filly!
--- Anon

On Bill's collar, the hair wasn't brown;
She confronted him outside of town.
Please Hilly meet Gidget;
I know she's a midget;
At least I am trying to cut down."
--- Jim Weaver Collection

"His sexual appetite's voracious,"
Says John Doe, unusually loquacious.
"But his libidinous activities
Are his personal proclivities --
It's the equivocation that makes me vexatious!".
--- H Myers T9801

The tour guide had shown where the spies
Had discovered the staff hitting highs.
"And this," he intoned
"Is where many have moaned,
And the place where the President lies."
--- Scandalous Limerix

I don't think that I'd like to share
A portion of Bill's underwear.
For while it is true,
They're likely 'most new,
You just don't know who has been there.
--- MrMalo

The aides gathered 'round with their skipper.
Fighting problems, they tried to be chipper.
As they held hands to pray,
Came the theme for the day:
"Go out and win one for the zipper."
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Old Al started singing Bill's praises:
"He's a man whom no rumor fazes."
Now that Kenny's been routed,
Will Al Gore be outed,
Since we don't care with whom Bill liaises?
--- MrMalo

The President of the U S of A,
In the path of temptation did stray.
The historic White House
Hasn't seen such a louse,
Since the days of old JFK.
--- UB P9803

What's okay for President Bill,
Perhaps will give others a thrill.
Is it perjury?
Or just some sex worry?
The whole mess just gives me a chill.
--- Marlene

People say that you've pulled a "Bill Clinton."
You will know just what they are hintin';
A scandal you've made;
You are now clice'd.
They know why your eyes are a-glintin'.
--- Marlene

"To Bill" takes a whole different meaning:
(It might not be money they're gleaning.)
"How many hours did you Bill?"
"Billing gives me a thrill!"
Toward Billing, H might be leaning.
--- Marlene

Someone might get Billed in the tub.
You must be careful where you rub!
"Has this water chilled?
My God, I've been Billed!
I have to go home for a scrub."
--- Marlene

I was Billed by "Carpet and Floor";
The carpenter Billed me once more.
I've Billed for three days;
I must mend my ways,
Since my bits are really quite sore.
--- Marlene

You'll probably think me a dumb cluck;
If so, it is just my bad luck.
Don't take me to task,
I really must ask...
Were you ever Billed by a duck?
--- Frank Fazed

Not billed by a duck -- I've been goosed!
Found out where the nasty ones roost.
The geese have been billed.
They were, therefore, thrilled,
To give a human being a good boost.
--- Marlene

This Billing has spread 'cross the land;
You could be Billed at the cabstand.
I was Billed by mail.
He was Billed in jail,
And that guy was just Billed by hand.
--- Marlene

Ms Steinam's a radical feminist.
You'd think that she'd really be pissed.
Bill asked for a blow;
The woman said "No!"
After all, he didn't insist.
--- Puff Adder

The feminists have a new rule.
You can unzip and show them your tool.
But if they resist,
Just don't insist.
And everything going to be cool.
--- Puff Adder

This new rule is going to be great.
At work just don't hesitate.
Just make your best pass,
Even grab for her ass,
But try twice and you'll face a sad fate.
--- Puff Adder

Well boys, this new rule is nice.
But I'll give you a little advice.
You can grab at her tit,
But if she has a fit,
Just step back and be cool as ice.
--- Puff Adder

A word to the wise should suffice.
For abusing the rule, there's a price.
Be right up front,
Make a move for her cunt,
But just one now, do not do it twice.
--- Puff Adder

That trailer-trash called Paula Jones
(With a history of jumping men's bones)
Has hit some pay-dirt.
Pray God she'll revert
To a trash-heap of losers...unknowns!
--- Tutta Gioia

There's one thing I still just can't figure:
Her nose is four inches or bigger.
How could she blow
A guy we all know
Is only three inches long <...snigger>.
--- Karen

But isn't the Prez's thing bent?
Then I guess you can see how it went.
They engaged in their sport
With her nose off to port
With her cheek on his thigh, quite content.
--- John Miller

While dining on fine wine and lobster,
A doctor, who's hardly a mobster,
Was heard to lament,
"After what I've spent,
My daughter is the White House Knobster."
--- Jim Schaefer TP9807a

Said the daughter, "I am what I am.
I did it for my Uncle Sam.
Yes, he camae down my throat
But that's it/unquote,
'Cause he never got into my clam.
--- S C Saint

Kathleen wrote these letters in praise;
Not a word of Bills lecherous ways.
"Oh Bill! You're my man!
I'm your number one fan!
I'll do anything if it pays!"
--- MrMalo

She says its the unkindest cut;
Now they're making her out as a nut.
But it just isn't true.
What they're trying to do
Is to show she's a gold digging slut.
--- MrMalo

Would she offer herself for enjoyment?
For the sake of a gainful employment?
Would she polish his knob
For a government job?
This is all yet to be detoiment.
--- MrMalo

As soon as she has passed the door,
Broke, she knows she has to whore.
Please President Billy
I'll suck on your willy,
For a job as ambassador.
--- MrMalo

Just try to think back a long way
And imagine just what you would say,
If asked on TV,
Were you having a spree?
I know that I'd lie every day!
--- John and Liz