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In the White House there's nothing to fear, As King Bill nightly paces his tower, The problems, not just Paula Jones, Bill was caught once in bed I doubt Billy boy will be gloating When with troopers, our Bill chews the fat, Is this country the greatest, or what? Your daughter thinks Willy is hipper Some feel that our Prez has been slandered, (John Giotti convicted statutory rape)
Whenever Bill gets an erection Marsha Scott, Bill thought, had a great body, My limericks are series of ravings, I'm wondering just what it would take Said the president, somewhat distraught, Poor Billy boys hopes are dim; Whipped cream is a favorite of Willie. Said an aide to Bill Clinton one day Continuing talk of the pillow That which poisons is truly BANE, New alligations abound; I don't mean to be an old grouch, Some limericks link Clinton, the clown, Asked a survey of women, not men, It's the whole damn country Bill's lousing, If all of the White House Floors There once as a hermit named Bill In an old Arkansas cabbage patch, The Clintons have spent all the dough I have never asked someone to lie. "You question my ethics? That's aggrievin'. With Executive Privilege invoked, Though married, Bill still likes to date; Bill advises, "Don't seek to encumber There once was a Presidential Dud Can't pity the President's plight; Months ago Bill appeared on TV While married to Hillary, Billy On Bill's collar, the hair wasn't brown; "His sexual appetite's voracious," The tour guide had shown where the spies I don't think that I'd like to share The aides gathered 'round with their skipper. Old Al started singing Bill's praises: The President of the U S of A, What's okay for President Bill, People say that you've pulled a "Bill Clinton." "To Bill" takes a whole different meaning: Someone might get Billed in the tub. I was Billed by "Carpet and Floor"; You'll probably think me a dumb cluck; Not billed by a duck -- I've been goosed! This Billing has spread 'cross the land; Ms Steinam's a radical feminist. The feminists have a new rule. This new rule is going to be great. Well boys, this new rule is nice. A word to the wise should suffice. That trailer-trash called Paula Jones There's one thing I still just can't figure: But isn't the Prez's thing bent? While dining on fine wine and lobster, Said the daughter, "I am what I am. Kathleen wrote these letters in praise; She says its the unkindest cut; Would she offer herself for enjoyment? As soon as she has passed the door, Just try to think back a long way
For in spite of the things you may hear,
Events aren't complex.
Bill had telephone sex
And developed an infected ear.
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9803a
His conquest of the White House tastes sour.
For he's never alone,
Always watched by his crone,
And the ghosts of Miss Jones and Miss Flowers.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
And also those Sweetwater loans;
Republicans jabbing;
And Hillary crabbing;
And William's erogenous zones.
--- Irving Superior P9709
With a lady and hands in the red.
When asked where he stabbed her,
He said he just grabbed her
And fingered her pussy instead.
--- Bellal
At surviving the seas he's been boating,
For he had the temerity
To leave for posterity
Come-stains on the Whitehouse wainscoting.
--- Anon
On the Bible, he often does chat:
"More precious than rubies
Are young girls with big boobies,
Or at least it is something like that."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Our Presidents tell us a lot;
Some heroes, a charmer,
A fine peanut farmer,
And a slick connoisseur of young twat.
--- John Miller 0262
And he can inspire like the Gipper.
But from what is now known
Would you trust them alone?
Of course, with a lock on his zipper.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
That to sleaze-thirst, the media's pandered.
But I'm at a loss,
Why a Mafia Boss
Would be held to a far higher standard.
--- John Miller
Does it bend in a constant direction?
Or maybe the dangle
And probable angle
Depends on magnetic deflection.
--- Peter W
And her morals, like his, were quite shoddy.
Bill's an old star trek fan;
Captain Kirk was his man,
Often shouting "Beam me aboard Scotty!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
On President's misbehavings,
Much more than just sex,
Stability wrecks,
All due to his lusty cravings.
--- Chris Papa
To convince you old Bill's on the make.
If we got a snapshot
Of her hand on his cock,
Would you say it was just a mistake?
--- Mike Hunter
When surprised at a young lady's twat,
"There were times, I'm afraid,
When mistakes have been made --
But a voyeur for certain I'm not.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2963
His chances in future are slim.
Still president yet
But these days I bet,
Even I get more pussy than him.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
He pleases each Paula and Millie.
Grape jelly if fine,
And even red wine.
And once, he tried out piccalilli.
--- Al Willis
"The abortion bill came through today.
Tell me what I should do?
Would you like to read through?"
Said Bill, "Go ahead, and just pay!"
--- The Friar P9803a
And lathering intern willow
Are to tail painful,
Following baneful
Presidential peccadillo.
--- Daniel Ford
As Willy's peccadillo train
Taints us all with trash,
When we joke and bash,
Forgetting more lofty goal strain.
--- Daniel Ford
There's evidence yet to be found.
I don't know how it ends,
But I'll tell you this, friends,
That thing of his sure gets around.
--- MrMalo
But Bill doesn't have much in his pouch.
I picture his winky
To be somewhat dinky;
That it's true, many women can vouch!
--- Annie Jay
With the Son having greatest renown.
They're a whole different class,
(Though when it comes to ass --
They both rode one, right into town).
--- John Miller 0300 A
"Would you have sex with the Prez in his den?"
Sixty-eight wouldn't say;
Thirty-one said "I'm gay!"
Six hundred said "Never again!"
--- H Myers A
And not just the girls he's unblousing.
Yet it could be worse,
For he might write verse,
Instead of seeking new housing.
--- Rusty Smith
Were cleaned by nothing but whores,
Then Bill and his tool
Would wholeheartedly drool,
And semen would splatter the doors.
--- Joe Zanchi
Who kept a dead whore on the hill.
There's no fear she'll talk,
And she doesn't balk;
Sometimes he shares her with Hill.
--- Skumbunny
Horny Bill was hoping to catch
A cute southern doll
Who'd say with a drawl,
"C'mon, lemme show ya mah snatch!"
--- Everett Parke
On whom, and on what, I don't know.
But I bet it is Bill
Who's over the Hill,
And is looking for somthing to "GO".
--- Friar T9801
I just couldn't. I'd much rather die;
But if women are willing
To stand up to their 'Billing',
Who would argue about it? Not I.
--- Bill Taylor P9808
To tell her to lie'd be deceivin'.
I just wouldn't lie;
I'd much rather die.
I stood up for what I believe in!"
--- Tom Patton P9805
Truth is more easily cloaked.
Bill's aides need not show
What they really do know;
Which lass was stroked and which poked.
--- Everett Parke
It's apparently OK with his mate.
But his penchant to stray
Led to full-blown decay.
Now his backside is caught in Tail-gate!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
My record with the exact number
Of my indescretions --
They're small imperfections;
The public would much rather slumber!"
--- Everett Parke
This is file vrm
Who enjoyed his pleasures of pud.
When asked by Ken Starr,
"Who do you think you are?"
Came Bill's reply, "I'm the First Stud!"
--- Frank Petersohn
It's sure self-inflicted, all right.
A sexual vandal,
He'll always court scandal,
To conservative critics' delight.
--- Michael W Johnson
And waggled his finger at me.
Then with eyes fairly flashing,
Gave us all a tongue lashing,
For questioning his sexual sprees.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Had escapades that you'd call silly.
In bed he would thrash,
With base trailer trash,
Or some other sexy young filly!
--- Anon
She confronted him outside of town.
Please Hilly meet Gidget;
I know she's a midget;
At least I am trying to cut down."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Says John Doe, unusually loquacious.
"But his libidinous activities
Are his personal proclivities --
It's the equivocation that makes me vexatious!".
--- H Myers T9801
Had discovered the staff hitting highs.
"And this," he intoned
"Is where many have moaned,
And the place where the President lies."
--- Scandalous Limerix
A portion of Bill's underwear.
For while it is true,
They're likely 'most new,
You just don't know who has been there.
--- MrMalo
Fighting problems, they tried to be chipper.
As they held hands to pray,
Came the theme for the day:
"Go out and win one for the zipper."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
"He's a man whom no rumor fazes."
Now that Kenny's been routed,
Will Al Gore be outed,
Since we don't care with whom Bill liaises?
--- MrMalo
In the path of temptation did stray.
The historic White House
Hasn't seen such a louse,
Since the days of old JFK.
--- UB P9803
Perhaps will give others a thrill.
Is it perjury?
Or just some sex worry?
The whole mess just gives me a chill.
--- Marlene
You will know just what they are hintin';
A scandal you've made;
You are now clice'd.
They know why your eyes are a-glintin'.
--- Marlene
(It might not be money they're gleaning.)
"How many hours did you Bill?"
"Billing gives me a thrill!"
Toward Billing, H might be leaning.
--- Marlene
You must be careful where you rub!
"Has this water chilled?
My God, I've been Billed!
I have to go home for a scrub."
--- Marlene
The carpenter Billed me once more.
I've Billed for three days;
I must mend my ways,
Since my bits are really quite sore.
--- Marlene
If so, it is just my bad luck.
Don't take me to task,
I really must ask...
Were you ever Billed by a duck?
--- Frank Fazed
Found out where the nasty ones roost.
The geese have been billed.
They were, therefore, thrilled,
To give a human being a good boost.
--- Marlene
You could be Billed at the cabstand.
I was Billed by mail.
He was Billed in jail,
And that guy was just Billed by hand.
--- Marlene
You'd think that she'd really be pissed.
Bill asked for a blow;
The woman said "No!"
After all, he didn't insist.
--- Puff Adder
You can unzip and show them your tool.
But if they resist,
Just don't insist.
And everything going to be cool.
--- Puff Adder
At work just don't hesitate.
Just make your best pass,
Even grab for her ass,
But try twice and you'll face a sad fate.
--- Puff Adder
But I'll give you a little advice.
You can grab at her tit,
But if she has a fit,
Just step back and be cool as ice.
--- Puff Adder
For abusing the rule, there's a price.
Be right up front,
Make a move for her cunt,
But just one now, do not do it twice.
--- Puff Adder
(With a history of jumping men's bones)
Has hit some pay-dirt.
Pray God she'll revert
To a trash-heap of losers...unknowns!
--- Tutta Gioia
Her nose is four inches or bigger.
How could she blow
A guy we all know
Is only three inches long <...snigger>.
--- Karen
Then I guess you can see how it went.
They engaged in their sport
With her nose off to port
With her cheek on his thigh, quite content.
--- John Miller
A doctor, who's hardly a mobster,
Was heard to lament,
"After what I've spent,
My daughter is the White House Knobster."
--- Jim Schaefer TP9807a
I did it for my Uncle Sam.
Yes, he camae down my throat
But that's it/unquote,
'Cause he never got into my clam.
--- S C Saint
Not a word of Bills lecherous ways.
"Oh Bill! You're my man!
I'm your number one fan!
I'll do anything if it pays!"
--- MrMalo
Now they're making her out as a nut.
But it just isn't true.
What they're trying to do
Is to show she's a gold digging slut.
--- MrMalo
For the sake of a gainful employment?
Would she polish his knob
For a government job?
This is all yet to be detoiment.
--- MrMalo
Broke, she knows she has to whore.
Please President Billy
I'll suck on your willy,
For a job as ambassador.
--- MrMalo
And imagine just what you would say,
If asked on TV,
Were you having a spree?
I know that I'd lie every day!
--- John and Liz
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