Rabin meets with middle-east powers; Like a flood that can come through a dike, Honest Abe walked the halls every night, Our lawmakers squabble and squawk. The remnants of our ANDOCRACY Once a sold out candidate would cause in a "Those big booze bills," the senator moaned, A euphemistic term called BRAC, Years ago it was often neccessity Politicians are all just alike, Politicos try to get "in", When the Reds made that little ball spin (Duane Steffey)
They pay taxes: demand their fair share We thought his old ways he was mending, The call for campaign finance reform, Right now, we're well off, it is true; If it's published after '23, The Bono Act, so criitics claim, Congress for sure has the right So the purpose is not to promote We've spent several billions so far, Our country has gone to the dickens, We've denuded our forests for dowels, If I'm so talented and smart, Paying politicians peanuts and perks, In the years since 1994, The G.O.P. edge in hard money Politicians at home and D.C. Though campaign funding is off the walls The poor people offered resistance Please help as he seeks absolution In my personal status book, What with "Voyeur TV" on the wax,
This is file vql
Legislation precise and sublime, Election year asking for money; There have always been chiefs who subscribe Sweet victory for Senator McCain's Our national compaign now flies I am, don't you know, an artiste. Conservatives join liberals in grousing No wonder that many will try With all of the influence sought, A young enterpriser named Diggs, OK...now...here's what I swear, An office that's avidly sought The government of our own nation In Washington, those in the know Some time back, we were worried as hell The Politicos practice their craft Campaign contributions we learn, There once were two prosperous states The big bed made for the President Much like flies are attracted to honey, The person who's been infected But the truth's something they cannot hide (BULLSHIT - Reagan tripled national debt)
"Ask not what your country can do," Of our lovely congress we must talk, We're a capitalist land of rebates, It seems folks on welfare don't see The big postal boss has opined A wily young fellow namaed Sly, Of jobs done by the service, inspectors The world, as we know, is a-shrinking More redundancies, postmen wail, They say that the world's getting smaller, When Louie the Louse died in jail,
Hopes U.S. support nerver sours.
He said "Peace is mine
If Clinton would sign
His Penthouse with Gennifer Flowers."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Any time, mideast violence may strike.
But they all seem so willing
With regard to the killing,
To agree in Sharon share alike!
--- Limerick Savant
Yet somehow this just didn't seem right.
But the Republican Party
Needed donations hearty,
So Indonesians were tucked in tight.
--- Thomas M Patton P9704
A dove has no use for a hawk.
The left and the right
On most issues will fight,
But they all can agree about pork.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0606
Are run by rules of hypocrisy.
They all preach reform,
Then vote to conform
With the backers of his PACocracy.
--- J'Carlin
Popular party grand nausea
From the strong smells
Of the cash from the swells.
Pols now have PAC money ANOSMIA.
--- J'Carlin
"For our diplomats can't be condoned,
Nor the way that they drink.
It's enough, you should think,
Merely having our embassies stoned."
--- A N Wilkins P8403
Can shutter a base with a whack.
If you don't use your head,
Your base will be dead,
And jobs lost will never come back.
--- The Sailor P0310
For political gain in Quebessity
To grease every hand
With a couple of grand
And other such forms of duplessity.
--- Hugh Oliver 44a
Every one that comes down the pike --
If money talks
And bullshit walks --
Politicians should all take a hike!
--- Kaylin
Expecting the votes that will win
An office that offers
A chance at the coffers,
To voters' regret and chagrin.
--- R J Winkler P8411
'Round the Earth, it looked like they'd win.
So Congress got tough
And spent just enough
That the colleges let us all in.
--- Literary Group
Of the goodies, therefore they know where
To go to succeed,
Fat cats too in need;
Their solution is corporate welfare.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P2006
That Sam had stopped deficit spending.
But cutbacks ain't easy;
They make voters queasy.
Now all good intentions he's bending.
--- M Silverstein P0304
To me seems strangely out of the norm.
The loot that was brung
By Johnny Chung,
Puts Democrats in the fire storm!
--- Puff Adder
That's what matters to me and to you.
I hope '99
Will be just as fine,
Despite what the bureaucrats do.
--- John Miller
For twenty more years, guaranteed --
For perfomance or practice
Or Internet access,
You'll have to pay royalty fee.
--- Dr Limerick 02-21-02
Means to keep from the public domain,
Mickey Mouse and Great Gatsby,
Jake Barnes and Brett Ashley,
And other such freshman Lit names.
--- Dr Limerick 02-21-02
To set the term of copyright;
But it has no effect
When your Forster or Brecht's
Gone gentle into that good night.
--- Dr Limerick 02-21-02
Authors, or artists, or poets;
It's just one more crummy
Way to steer money
Into coffers where Congressmen owe it.
--- Dr Limerick 02-21-02
And still we have failed in our chore.
Our schools are a mess,
But they could be the best
If we just spent a few billion more.
--- F R Duplantier P2006
And nothing is left but lean pickin's,
Since our leaders inane
Leave the rats to guard grain,
And the foxes are guarding the chickens.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2543
And set off conservationists' yowls.
We should put on the brake
But big money's at stake.
Politicians say, "Aw, fuck the owls!"
--- John K Roberts P9303
But no one will give me a start,
I'll take up the chant
For a NFA grant
To finance my career in fine art.
--- Anon
We complain when we get stupid jerks.
"You get what you pay for;
Maybe less, seldom more."
That's the way human nature works.
--- Ed Thelen
G.O.P. districts get more
Federal spending
And low interest lending;
So much for "small government" lore!
--- Dr Limerick
Is so big that it's not even funny.
They're fund raising while
The Dems rank and file,
Pretend that their prospects are sunny.
--- Dr Limerick
Think the money they spend grows on trees.
Grubby hands grab our cash,
Then it's gone in a flash.
They're like drunks in a bar on a spree.
--- Betty Ann Cansano
I have found what more greatly appalls
Me, is the obscene waste
And the hideous taste
Of what are called "Inaugural Balls."
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9612
To things the rich kept with consistence,
And for goods they all cried,
But the rich just replied,
One thing you can keep, that's your distance.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 P8609
For disgracing a great institution.
Give dollars, give cents
For his legal defense.
He'll accept any size contribution.
--- Anon
No politician's worth more than a look.
Just to be sure,
He doesn't try to cure
Me of my purse, like any other crook.
--- Anon
Perhaps we could place a stiff tax
On swanking and squinching
And limerical wenching,
And most other no-contact acts.
--- Anon
Demands close debate, line by line;
To heed all new polls
And to craft good loopholes,
Takes patience, attention and time.
--- Dr Limerick 03-20-01
If 'twasn't so grubby, 'twould be funny.
With MELLIFLUOUS tones,
They man the phones
And the dollars, like words, flow like honey.
--- Norm Brust
To put wampum ahead of the tribe.
(Let's not cause a disruption
Or mention corruption
Or suggest that this smacks of a bribe.)
--- John Miller
Reform of the cash for campaigns;
But temper elation
With the expectation
That after lawsuits, not much remains.
--- Dr Limerick 03-20-02
Through morass of MYRIAD lies.
The sad truth to tell,
We'll get someone "swell",
That the moneyed interest buys.
--- Chris Papa
Once a guest at a grand White House feast,
Baryshnikov danced,
And Seabiscuit pranced,
While the National Debt just increased.
--- Naomi J Kahn
About funding vocations and housing.
Sinch the National Debt
Makes politicos sweat,
Look for revenue sources by dowsing.
--- Paul Niquette
To catch the electoral eye,
For, once they're elected,
The loot is collected:
The benefits money can't buy.
--- R J Winkler P8411
And all of the congressmen bought,
What's truly amazing,
Is the indignant phrasing,
Of the others when one gets caught.
--- MrMalo
Lost all of his cash raising figs.
But he balanced the sheet
When he planted no wheat,
And made millions by not raising pigs.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2544
I'll tax you-all till you're bare,
Getting rid of this debt
Will increase my net,
Call me paranoid, I don't care.
--- John Roberts P9301
By many, is frequently thought
To offer big chances
For gaining finances --
Not one that is won but is bought.
--- R J Winkler P8411
Is taking a short spring vacation.
Now they can ask us
To pro-rate our taxes;
Too bad it's a dream situation.
--- Tom Patton P9602
Have a rule to tell quid from the quo.
A large corporation
Makes gratis donations,
But humans want favors for dough.
--- Dr Limerick
That the railways might start to do well.
Now that could cost loads
To our friends who build roads,
So we sent for Bob Horton from Shell.
--- Linda Marsh Coll
Of extending big government's shaft,
To grab every last buck
Till their greed runs amok,
And their reach has exceeded their graft.
--- William N Nesbit P9702
Made by people with dollars to burn,
Go to leaders of the nation
And buy special legislation,
Which bring back a ten fold return.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0409
Who squandered at fantastic rates.
They spent all of their worth
To get rockets off Earth,
And no food did remain on their plates.
--- Albin Chaplin
Now displays a large sign, "I'm for rent."
With pockets deep,
It's one nights sleep
While Abe sleeps on the lawn, in a tent.
--- Thomas M Patton P9704
Politicians are drawn to soft money;
When soft money's banned,
It'll be hard cash in hand,
Taken so quick, it's not even funny.
--- Dr Limerick 03-27-01
With the urge to become elected,
Must raise floods of cash,
While his soul becomes hash
And his personal life is dissected.
--- Patricia N LimerickP9106
Just because John F. Kennedy died.
We know what tax cuts spurred --
A resurgence occurred --
And it has worked each time it's been tried.
--- Anon
Is an admonishment we should live to.
But now the lament
Is to expect Government
To tax others and spend it on you.
--- Jim Weaver Collection a
As from meeting to conference they walk.
They do unkosher deeds,
Ignoring peoples' needs,
And turn our hard earned taxes into pork.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0508
Who encourage competitive traits.
This benefits all,
The great and the small,
As is proved by Tobacco and Gates.
--- John Miller
The money they spend isn't free.
They say "Things are tough!
It just isn't enough!"
Do they know that the cash comes from me?
--- Jim Weaver Collection
That for on-time performance combined,
They deserve a B rating.
They're used to berating,
Since B usually stands for BEHIND!
--- A N Wilkins P9105
While at the Post Office did spy
Wanted: Bank robber!
Thought: I'm an odd jobber;
And inquired where he might apply.
--- Observer
Report to the postal directors,
There is at least one
That's efficiently done--
Selling stamps to the nation's collectors.
--- A N Wilkins P9105
While the Postmaster General's a-dinking;
His condoms cost much
And we're all a soft touch;
No wonder the "post's" up, I'm thinking'!
--- Mark Levy P0312
Consignia's policies fail!
The future is black.
They'll give us the sack,
Alas, not a sack full of mail.
--- Tony Burrell
But my outgoing mail pile gets taller.
The high cost of postage
Is holding it hostage;
It's cheaper to be a phone caller.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0312
His ashes were shipped in a pail
To the wrong place in Kent,
So poor Louie was sent
To the Office for Dead Letter Mail.
--- Albin Chaplin P9105