MORE
The ruler of China some think The election in Russia is tight-- An impetuous thinker, Marx led, Why on Earth, after all their disputes, There once was a man named Fidel The Cubans are bearing the brunt, Fidel, even though you're a Red, Yep, this time I'd say that Fidel The refugees fled Cuba's shore -- Fidel said to James Earl Carter, King George says Fidel's communism Bush yearns for the days of Batista Again Gorbachev is secure, Those coup leaders don't use their head. "My old friends," Gorby said, mid the ruckus, Karl Marx was a funny old chap, In Cuba as everyone knows Kruschchev said to Castro, "Fidel, The Communists hoped to administer A young Bolshevik mother of four, Cold nights there in Russia are hell, Another young miss with blond hair, Katrina, a young Russian maid Seems their life in old Russia was rough, They learned that American women A meeting was held out of sight; They conspired with the capitalist Ronald, The system began to go sour; Do you think that this history's true? In a Bolshevik bar underground For some fifty years we bore Don't tell that to Cuba or China; North Korea has her fierce head If paranoids manage to banish Why do they call communists red? There was a great Marxist called Lenin, A canny old codger at Yalta An ugly Bolshevik, Tommy Three Bolsheviks, thought to be sneaky, When your capitalist boss takes his toll, A pol voiced his dissatisfaction-- Said the Pres of a few corporations, We ban ageism so cruel and cold. Alan Greenspan met Congress to herald Grandiloquent orators say, In politics never admit We've been parboiled in sociology The government's ups and its downs With no party backing a statesman, Though Mao and the Marxists all fell, Capitalism won't fail Tweaking the libs is one thing we can do. Excuse me for sounding abrupt, Let's not get too deep into thought Once I fretted when leaders would fail We're a tolerant nation of brothers, It's always a hell of a fight On some of our leasers a hex The leaders we've had, make us blush. Since the days of our President Grover, In Washington life is quite cruel, Yes, the concept's attractive, but I've Absolute freedom of speech Says a sage, but insolvent, Pembroker: One last point 'fore splittin' the scene: Now we're well off, it is true;
Is a inscrutable Communist fink,
Who deserves the name Dung,
But the way his wang's hung
Makes him real good at plugging a Chink.
--- Robin K Willoughby P8905
Looks like Yeltsin is in for a fight!
But if man number three
Were to answer his plea,
Victory could be in sight.
--- Youngbeard
While Engels just gave him his head.
Though some thought it a sin
For Marx to rush in
Where Engles himself feared to tread.
--- A N Wilkins P9812a
Are Fidel and the Pope in cahoots?
Aging Castro, I guess,
Has misdeeds to confess,
But is John Paul in need of cheroots?
--- Prof M-G T9712
Who wished all capitalists to Hell.
The thing that's so funny,
Is how he loved money,
And that has a nice fishy smell.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Like witches caught afoul of a hunt.
The Demos wish Castro
A fuck up the asstro,
Then jam his fine stogies up cunt.
--- Anon
And I usually discount all you've said,
I cannot impeach
Your most recent speech:
You've hit the nail right on the head!
--- Anon
Has summed things up very well.
Now U.S. voters
Are like Cuban boaters:
Desperate, but afraid to rebel.
--- Anon
To America's coast they did pour.
They were happy to leave --
Said Fidel, "Though I grieve,
If you want them, we'll fuck and make more."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-3011
"You can search high and low in our larder;
We're making no germs
That your Yanqui firms
Aren't making much faster and smarter."
--- Dr Limerick 05-13-02
Has turned Cuba into a prison.
Well that may be so,
But Guantanamo's
Serving authoritarianism.
--- Dr Limerick 05-20-02
When prosperous Yanqui touristas
Hit Havana bars
For rum and cigars,
And hot-blooded prostitutistas.
--- Dr Limerick 05-20-02
In the driver's seat after the stir
Of the strange coup which failed.
Since the people prevailed,
Though, he's now Boris Yeltsin's chauffeur.
--- A N Wilkins P9110a
"Let's screw Gorbachev," Yazov said.
Those Bolshevik vermin
Should heed Pee-Wee Herman,
Then Yazov would Yankoff instead.
--- T Heller P9110
"The KGB's trying to fuck us.
But have you no fear.
With our Yeltsin so near,
It'll be them who get stuck in the tuchkis."
--- C J Scheiner P9110
Who got in a terrible flap.
Though the capitalist scum
Were incredibly dumb,
They were too smart to swallow his crap.
--- Harald S Green P8510
The Communist Manifestos
Of Marx still exist
With one added twist --
Karl Marx is now known as Carlos.
--- Irving Superior P9812
I think you're ungrateful as hell.
I go saving your life;
You come screwing my wife;
Now you're after my mistress as well!"
--- Vassar W Smith P9304
A coup de grace crafty and sinister,
For the generals know
They could squelch their main foe
If they made Lech Walesa prime minister.
--- A N Wilkins P8908
Plied her trade on the streets as a whore;
A potato or two
Might get her to screw,
But for oranges she'd give you much more.
--- Bob Birch P9812
And Natasha was out there as well.
These descendants of Stalin,
Weren't real good at ballin'
And each had a really foul smell.
--- Bob Birch P9812
Stripped naked right there in Red Square.
'Twas a sight for sore eyes,
But with free enterprise,
She'll charge you to stand there and stare.
--- Bob Birch P9812
In the Kremlin was frequently laid.
But she would have looked better,
In that moth-eaten sweater,
Were it not for the pounds that she weighed.
--- Bob Birch P9812
But these communist women were tough.
For a piece of stale bread,
They would give you some head,
But they still couldn't earn quite enough.
--- Bob Birch P9812
Had time to play golf and go swimmin'.
They could work if they chose,
Wear high heels and sheer hose,
But in Russia all hope kept on dimmin'.
--- Bob Birch P9812
KGB knew nothing that night.
And those four Russian gals,
With support from their pals,
Decided to put up a fight.
--- Bob Birch P9812
In the phone book he's under McDonald.
Now they're resting their thighs,
Serving up cokes and fries,
And it's hamburger meat that they've fondled.
--- Bob Birch P9812
Commie leaders lost most of their power,
'Cause four Russian lasses,
Had worn out their asses,
And chose to get paid by the hour.
--- Bob Birch P9812
That the facts I just never would skew?
For all those who replied,
"I believe you've not lied,"
There's a bridge I would love to sell you!
--- Bob Birch P9812
Where the Communist comrades were found,
Drinking vodka from mugs,
Came the shout, "Give us jugs
Of those Molotov Cocktails all round!"
--- Peter Wilkins
The brunt of a long cold war;
Thinking we'd be dead
At the hands of the reds,
But now Communism is no more.
--- Puff Adder
They still think that their way is finer.
But it isn't an "ism",
It's a religious schism
That threatens the world with angina.
--- John
As her neighbors and foes shake with dread.
If we remain blind
To what's on her mind,
It's not hard to guess what lies ahead.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
This is file vol
Their fears of Communist Spanish
And put at ease
The pink Portuguese,
Their problems with Cuba might vanish!
--- C O Ingamelis P8411
Why not yellow or just blue instead?
The commies spill blood
In an endless flood;
The earth's wet where people have bled.
--- Tom Patton P9812
Who did two or three million men in;
That's a lot to have done in,
But where he did one in,
The great Marxist Stalin did ten in.
--- Ted Pauker
Sent two statesmen back home and at Malta,
They talked quite a spell,
And then they said, "Hell,
He's been just like the Rock Of Gibraltar".
--- P8202
Was know in the town as a commie.
He would call you "Comrade"
Which wasn't so bad,
It was all that he knew of bonhommie.
--- Tom Patton P9812
Named Veni and Vidi and Vici,
Were snatched from their home
And packed off to Rome,
First Weni, then Widi, then Wici.
--- Limber Limericks
You're a prole up the pole on the dole;
Unite with your pal,
For Das Capital,
And then we'll have workers' control.
--- Dominic Fitzpatrick
"Brother love should be more that abstraction.
Choice of mate is suspended
Till all race is ended,
With my plan called "A Spermative Action."
--- John Sandler P9110
"Hiring based on race 'qualifications'
Brought declines in our service,
Which cause me to be nervous,
But at least it's good public relations."
--- John Sandler P9110
It's not done and is not even told.
But with nice circumspection,
There's a minor exception:
These rights don't apply to the old.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
The economy's lack of great peril,
Saying smoothly, "It toils.
A machine that's well oiled."
Well it should, at twelve bucks a barrel!
--- Knotweed
With tongues in their cheeks hid away,
That all men are born equal,
While ignoring the sequel,
That disparity starts the first day.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2779
In college you "potted" a bit.
'Cause if they find out,
From the tree tops they'll shout
And in whispers "...and never did quit."
--- Irving Superior P9110
And subjected to loads of psychology.
They only mislead.
What we really need
Is auto-epistemology.
--- Anon
Induce laughs; produce smiles; provokes frowns;
And proves what I've guessed--
When shut down, it works best!
Where's the government? Bring on the clowns!
--- William N Nesbit P9602
It appears that no one in the States can
Be running the show ...
I wouldn't be slow
To suspect that it's really Bill Gates, man!
--- Anon
Only time and long history will tell
Through a retrospcet prism,
If Capitalism
Is way of life that's doomed as well.
--- Chris Papa
'Cause beside it, alternatives pale.
BAMBOOZLERS will be jailed
When evil schemes failed,
And we'll live to tell another tale.
--- Norm Brust
Lauding conservatives we can do too.
So if you get a kick
Out of that kind of shtick,
Right Wing Limericks is just right for you.
--- Al Bienstock
But the country is bound to erupt
When there is no corrective
From our system elective,
And the press is completely corrupt.
--- Anon
'Cause the answers I surely ain't got.
Let's keep things real light
As into the night,
We praise that much worse it is not.
--- Anon
To show courage and morals less frail.
Now I'll laugh on the day
That the Pope says he's gay
And the Prez issues vetoes from jail.
--- John Miller 0033b
Who love apple pie and our mothers.
We're allowed to keep guns,
Make outrageous puns,
And export all our vices to others.
--- John Miller
To get them to do what is right.
If they never feel heat
From a fire at their feet,
They have trouble just seeing the light.
--- DC Dave
Is caused by obsession with sex.
But the leaders' downfall
Isn't caused by their call;
It is caused by the muscle they flex.
--- Shelby Forrest
To replace them, our choices aren't lush.
So give it a yank,
Right there by the tank,
For the nation, remember to flush.
--- Anon
Ideas of friendship changed over.
Now if you want a friend
All the way to the end,
Try electing my schnauzer named Rover.
--- Tom Patton
Finding ways to make you out the fool.
If you're on the mend
And you need a friend,
Find the kind that will bark and will drool.
--- Tom Patton
Heard that presidents must be alive.
So read Article II,
And consider that few
Dogs will live to be age thirty five.
--- William N Nesbit
Is something that's quite hard to reach.
For example it may
Protect those who would say
We should not honor it just in the breach!
--- Anon
In politics, same as in poker,
You can deal them again,
But your hand's still the same,
When you're shuffling a deck full of jokers.
--- Knotweed
The ammo folks give us is keen!
Limericks and politics
And other base schticks,
Are much better played when obscene.
--- Irish
That's what matters to me and to you.
I hope '98
Will be just as great,
Despite what the bureaucrats do.
--- John Miller
MORE