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But those Commies have reason to factor Now an old Dixie boy ought to know, Bill was the conservative kind; No nominee will placate the Dems; The Democrats, so I've discerned it, Max Sandlin is my Congress Critter; Whoever the Democrats pick, That the Dems must be pulled to the left, But to say that Bush is no worse; The Dems have a hardon for Bush And now they say they really got screwed; But if, the columnist rants, But really I doubt she's trans-sexual It all boils down to State's Rights, Some Republicans up on the Hill, The GOP of the Lone Star State Speakers on the conservative side With IM and e-mail he sated Grandiloquent Old Politicians, Deep in GOP DNA A thought here that just makes me sick: What GOP does really plan If the GOP fields Mr. Quayle, We can name three discontent breeders On Iraq, they're as bad as the French. So swift is the world in its flight, Tho voters may think they've no sense; Oh the Lib-Dems are searching the land for U.S. histories are surely in luck; The liberals follow a trend Unitarian J Wentworth Dean, Republicans, it seems, always knock Once a mayor, he's now in disgrace -- The damage was more than first feared -- They claim not to listen to polls, With those psychos now hogging our news-- The Constitution I have read; If Willy your passion arouses, I grew up in a free country Self-righteous pathways are mapped, A Republican, out in his motor, The Reform Party is a strange zoo, Our Dougie's a well trained young pup There are those of a far rightward breed A partisan lady named Roarch Whenever those right-wing whores pass The tax-cut hue and cry never ends; Your money has been subsidizing Those whining hypocritical shits "We must stop Clinton's criminal cock!" Hypocritical fuddy-duddies; Politicians are a slimy breed; Republicans should get on the wagon The Republican plan reached its goal, So, come on Dems, get out your guns. When they sneak into your house, St Peter will send them to Hell; Here at home Republicans are king; This shit is not about lies Though I toe the conservative line, At long last, I'm inspired to write Did you note on the ballot this fall? Normally, I'm not a Democrat -- The Patriot Act's mostly dreck, And so here is what I propose: Then Congress and the Prez are askew;
That sex rationed should be our transactor.
They will not put a stop
To the toil of their crop,
And make Helga climb down from her tractor.
--- Anon
That a tractor's a good way to go;
So ride off with that Russkie;
To the woods where it's dusky;
And she'll call out: "Bolshoy spacibo!"
--- Anon
To progress he was a bit blind.
"Old values are best;
They've passed the time test.
I now need a scotch to unwind."
--- M Hale
Conservatives fall foul to their whims.
They get just one gander
And then starts the slander;
But a socialist would win praiseful hymns.
--- Bruce
Want my money the minute I've earned it,
So they can then play
And then piss it away.
We'd all be better off if I burned it.
--- Chris Clark
This fact leaves me saddened and bitter.
Because he espouses
That worst of all louses,
Whom Boots should disdain as cat litter.
--- Anon
(Even Ted Kennedy's prick)
They are sure to win.
Like the rest of his kin,
This Bush is quite easy to lick.
--- Phil T
Of ideas they are almost bereft.
These statements ring true
Though they do make me blue;
They carry some serious heft.
--- D V Davins
The same monies will Congress disburse:
Now you've gone beyond logic
And become demagogic.
You're making me learn how to curse.
--- D V Daven
Since they all fell down and went smush,
After the last election
When they bent for his erection,
And took the whole thing in the tush.
--- NYP
Each with a bad attitude.
So they try to fillibuster
Since they all have no luster
And everything they all do is so rude.
--- NYP
Hillary gets a presidential glance,
Will we see naked pics,
From the Arkansas sticks,
With her dick hanging out of her pants.
--- NYP
As the illegal immigrants are trans-mexual.
But she fights for their rights
And fails breaking up fights
Between the Democrat and Intellectual.
--- NYP
Those infernal and insipid fights.
Medicinal pot must go,
But those in the know
Say it cures almost all of your plights.
--- NYP
Politically enjoy "the kill."
But there's dozens, and more,
Who just can't stand the Gore;
Even Demos won't pick up the Bill.
--- Anon
Says non-Christians are all apostates;
These zealots on a mission
To purge all non-Christians,
Can only their party devastate.
--- Dr Limerick
Love to use those put-downs so snide!
But after some sneering attack
Someone dare call THEM back;
How thin is the far-right-wing hide.
--- Katherine Crosby
The lust that young pages created.
Because this old queen
Liked boys just sixteen,
Now congress is de-Foley-ated.
--- Randog
Gainsaying Outmoded Positions,
Grill Oral Provider,
Get Ousted, Presider!
Four new GOP definitions.
--- Prof M-G
Is a gene hating truth and fair play.
This means of election's
Darwinian selection --
Fighting fair, they just get blown away.
--- Dr Limerick 05-25-02
The GOP won't let loose of Bill's dick.
To the chagrin of the nation,
It's their major fixation,
And it shows that they are very thick.
--- CSW
Is pay the rich and screw the poor man.
Surplus goes to the rich,
This is Bush's pitch,
His party will do what it can.
--- Larry
Then their efforts, I feel doomed to fail.
They should do like the Dems,
Whose success largely stems
From keeping their guys out of jail.
--- John Miller
Whom we might just call bottom feeders.
Daschle and Kennedy
And Pelosi make three
Who are obstructionist leaders.
--- Al Bienstock
To obstructionist tactics they clench.
But of course, they were for
A Bill Clinton led war --
From these three leaders, there is a stench.
--- Al Bienstock
Our politics shift in the night.
If your wish is to enter
And stay in the center,
You're sure to be left on the right.
--- Laurence Perrine P8411
At least they dont sit on the fence.
The right and the left
With words are so deft,
We often forget they are dense!
--- Anon
The breakthrough they've long hoped and planned for,
But what gets in their way
Is that not even they
Have the slightest idea what they stand for.
--- Linda Marsh Coll
Up to now, mostly Democrats fuck up.
JFK, Hart, and Clinton,
Have dropped us a hint on
What liberal 'members' get stuck up.
--- Stargazer
To spend and perhaps overspend;
But all theie extensions
Are filled with intentions
To rescue the poor in the end.
--- Lims Fables & Poems P0507
Is as strange a man as ever seen.
An octogenarian,
Relapsed Libertarian,
Who'd prefer being a Libertine.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0208
Democrats using their cocks.
Those greedy old Puritans
Can't stand to hear of some
`ction they can't stall or block.
--- Blowcephus TP9802a
The Machine failed to give him first place.
His defeat by a dame
Caused such feelings of shame,
That a cunt he no longer can face.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2021
This is file vml
His head may not ever be cleared.
Just consider his plight,
Now he shrinks with great fright
When he faces a man with a beard.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2022
Only to Quayle and the Doles.
This does indeed show
What I already know:
Republicans are major assholes.
--- Jennifer M
Energizing our ACLU's--
I say, "Round 'em up, Newt 'em,
Take them out and shoot 'em!
I'm abandoning liberal views!"
--- CB
If it dies, our country is dead.
To all it does apply,
For politicians lie
And Democrats are what I dread.
--- Kaylin
And if you like the cause he espouses,
Please know that I think
All our politicos stink;
A pox on both of their houses!
--- Chris Papa
Where all had a right to be
Confident that
No Republican rat
Would invade our own privacy.
--- Dave
And in religiosity wrapped;
The GOP
Protects you and me,
From niggers and beggars and Japs.
--- Jim Weaver Collection A
Ran over a Socialist voter.
"Thank goodness," he cried,
"He was on the wrong side --
So I don't blame myself one iota."
--- Clement Wood P2006
Even Jesse Ventura withdrew.
Yet, David Duke and Perot,
And Buchanan -- weirdo,
Will soon shit up the nest of the Cuckoo.
--- Anon
He's true to the GOP and its gup
He thinks that the Bushes
Are better than tushes,
And never has time for a tup.
--- Archie
Who suffer from radical greed.
Among history's sinners,
They only see winners,
And would claim all that others might need.
--- Anon
For G.O.P. carried the torch.
She stopped at the flat
Of an old Democrat,
And was fucked 'fore she got off his porch.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2266
Subsidies for ethanol gas,
More campaign cash for them
From good old ADM; (Archer Daniels Midland, large granary)
The taxpayer gets one up the ass.
--- MrMalo
They add tax cuts to bills as addends;
But a review of the datum
Shows the only tax stratum
To get cut is their rich fucking friends.
--- MrMalo
Big Business to keep the stocks rising.
The GOP scum
Have one way up your bum;
Now your posts are all propagandizing.
--- MrMalo
Have been sucking on Uncle Sam's tits.
But give bucks to me
And the burgeoise
Start in with their tax and spend fits.
--- MrMalo
But when Newt took a bribe from Murdoch,
"Oh an ethical lapse";
And you rank and file saps
Fall right into line with that schlock.
--- MrMalo
Those GOP tax and spend cruddies;
They blame and they scoff
As they roll in the trough,
Handing out public funds to their buddies.
--- MrMalo
They live their lives based on greed.
They fuck over the poor,
And what is more,
Republicans suck, all agreed!
--- Joe Kohn
And do their own sexual braggin'.
If they're so inclined,
They might not be behind,
So they better get out and get shaggin'.
--- MrMalo
Once the gambler in Bush took a poll.
He knew, where he sat,
He couldn't stand Pat,
And decided to get off the Dole.
--- Anon
Fair game are reborn Pub-Li-Cuns.
Another one of our rights
Guarantees that our fights,
The BIll of RIghts does truly sanctions.
--- Anon
Don't be meek as the mouse.
Get your AK-47
And blast them to Heaven
They'll get no leaven when doused.
--- Anon
The toasty fires are just swell,
Until they repent
And their peckers get bent,
And, they finally get out of jail.
--- Anon
Democrats do all nasty things.
My other non-commitment:
Politics are shitment.
If asked about my leanings, I sing.
--- Anon
Or sex in the house which we prize.
These scandalous "scrapes"
Are just all sour grapes;
They lost and they won't compromise.
--- Karen
I think redistribution is fine;
Give a piece of the pie
To those poorer than I --
Just as long as that piece isn't mine!
--- William N Nesbit P9603 A
About jokes that try to shed light
On the political views
Of miscellaneous hues;
I guess I'd rather switch than fight.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Third parties replied to the call.
Dave Bergland's no communist
Quite unlike the Populist
Bob Richards or commie Gus Hall.
--- Kim Goldsworthy P8412
Republican's more where I'm at.
I like government small,
Although not none at all.
But I've something to say, for all that.
--- Scott Oliver
And Homeland Security's heck.
Now think just a minute --
Republican Senate
And House will keep Kerry in check.
--- Scott Oliver
Once Kerry for Prez you have chose,
For congressional races,
(Now don't screw up your faces)
The GOP folks -- vote for those.
--- Scott Oliver
Let four years of nothing ensue.
Then in 2008,
(Please remember the date)
We'll give Kerry the old heave-ho, too!
--- Scott Oliver
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