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The U.S. Vice President Al Gore Starr and Clinton are engaged in a duel, Our robotic vice president Gore I, Dan Quayle, never swear. The Prez looked just like a tomato "We're against any marriage by queers; (Dan Quayle accepting nomination speech)
In his spelling Dan Quayle may have erred. She was not ashamed, Murphy Brown, Old Danny boy isn't too bright; We've sought high and low for to find You, of course, remember Dan Quayle? The ex-vice president conveyed That great stand-up comic, Dan Quayle, Said the wife of the Veep (that is, ex-): So once more I've not seen it fail, "Clinton has brought us such pains." Our choice would be Mr Dan Quayle; I, the inane Dan Quayle, If Dan Quayle runs, he is dead. A vice president's lady did play Indiana produced quite a lad; There once was a young jackass named Quayle, There once was a Boomer named Dan, There once was a VP named Dan, There once was a man called the Dan-ser, An eager young spaniel named Dano Dan said, "Milit'ry service is hard. Said our boy, "Being president's hard In the days when Quayle played golf on Mars, When our family values sad fate Now the ex VP's skill with an 'E' There once was a veep at a bee, Anatomically perfect was he, Should UseNet extend to far Venus, GOP VP's suck! Think of Spiro, (Nixon is a minus 100 - McW)
Our hero's not very particular Though Quayle never achieved notoriety, You know what verbosity brings? Said our boy, "Up on Mars, they got water, Dan said, "I know that some folks will doubt me, A fictional woman named Brown Our boy Dan wed a girl named Tucker, Said Quayle of the former Miss Tucker, Here's the Tale of Dan Quayle, a Vice-President, Soon, throughout the land all had heard Our boy has been known to grow wild Debating Al Gore, dressed in black, But what has become of our Hero? (Fat Man - Rush Limbaugh probably - McW)
To shore up his sagging appeal, Now, lest you think, "No, not for me!" So, whither George Bush and Dan Quayle? In the end, only history will tell At the inauguration Quayle sought directions. To Quayle and his stockbroker, Kelle, Nothing personal in the slightest, Dan Quayle, the political pro Our own ex-vice president Quayle Of course, you remember Dan Quayle? Albert Gore remarked, "What can I say (Gore is in trouble for fund-raising phone calls, 1997)
The party of victims will fidget; On the Fourth of July we don't gloat. Our primary time has just passed. The electors assemble and meet On every fourth year in November, A typical voter named Bess ANDOCRACY was a male throne,
Was uncerimoniously shown the door.
The priests deep distortion
Of support for abortion,
Saved the audience from this big bore.
--- Harihari Subramanian
While the Press fans the flames and adds fuel.
Al Gore and his staff
Try hard not to laugh,
As they wait for their own turn to rule.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Always sticks out his hand to get more
In foreign donations,
While Ole Bill has gyrations
With Monica down on the floor!
--- Anon
If I can't be VP, I don't care.
Big Marilyn said
I can play golf instead.
And she is the mommy...so there!
--- John Roberts P9301
When he found Dan could not spell totato.
Said Dan, "For Pete's sake,
It's a natural mistake --
Now where is my copy of Plato."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Wives should stay home like good dears;
And blacks should be grateful
They were sold by the crateful,
Or they'd still be back home chucking spears."
--- MrMalo
His attempt, though, was not as absurd
As Bill Clinton's assay
Or Ted Kennedy's way.
For Dan knew that HARASS was one word.
--- A N Wilkins P9406a
When Dan Quayle, speaking truth, put her down.
They say he misspoke;
The press made a joke,
And some even called him a clown.
--- Al Willis P9508
If elected we might have to fight.
Just one speech from Dan
Could start war with Iran,
'Cause he doesn't know shit from Shi'ite.
--- Anon
Some trace of the Quaylean mind.
But(t) all that he am
'S a cartoon Uncle Sam,
With the face of Rush Limbaugh behind.
--- Cool-Edge
I've started to send him e-mail.
If he ignores fools,
And follows my rules,
He'll be Whitehouse bound without fail.
--- Anon
That he'll stand by the statements he made.
But what really shocked me
Worse than potato-'OE'
Is that he'd rather golf than get laid.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Has set out on the campaigning trail.
I reckon that Bush
Will set Dan on his tush
And I'll leave out the Gore-y detail.
--- John E Maywood
"Well he always supplies me with checks,
Doesn't sleep with his aides,
Family values in spades,
And he even likes golf more than sex."
--- Nick Kimbre
That in spite of the rant and the rale,
Murphy still does her stint
Shamelessly hawking SPRINT
And since then, who has heard of Dan Quayle?
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9508
That's the theme of Republican refrains.
So in comes Quayle
On the campaign trail;
Do we need a President with no brains?
--- Jennifer M
His chances are looking quite frail.
So he can't spell,
But Oh, what the hell!
He never invented e-mail.
--- Tom Simon
Do promise to wag my cute tail,
Whenever George speaks,
And to plug up those leaks,
And help keep us all out of jail!
--- John Roberts P9301
As so many pundits have said,
He will be sent packing
With intellect lacking.
Don't run, Mr. Potato head.
--- Frank
With cucumbers, and had this to say,
"True, it's nasty of me,
But my husband, you see,
Prefers golf over sex any day."
--- Herbert Rutledge
Danny Q played golf and was glad.
"I'll serve my country
Though I'm due at the tee,
But first I'll have to ask Dad."
--- Dale Miller
Whose head was stuck so far up his tail
That he brayed without heed,
"If we do not succeed,
Then, by gosh, there's a chance we might fail."
--- Dhanesh
Who came up with a wonderful plan.
"I'll call my Dad
Then I won't be sad--
I won't have to go to Vietnam!"
--- Mel Walker
Who said that "Although I've been canned,
I'll get re-elected
I will be respected!
I'm standing firm...er...when I stand!"
--- Mel Walker
Who thought that he knew every answer
To the questions we posed.
But his party got hosed,
When it got ultra-conservative cancer.
--- Jason Schechner
Practiced hard to go mano-a-mano
With a fellow named Gore,
An unspeakable bore,
But the bore knocked our boy on his can-o.
--- Bill Anderson
Go to 'Nam, I'll be killed, maimed, or scarred.
Though the Commies must fall,
I'll have Dad make a call."
Voila! Dan's in the National Guard.
--- Vern Morrison
On one's golf, and it's bound to retard
The course of my game,
So I'll use my good name
To get back in the National Guard."
--- Bill Anderson
Driving spuds with a niblick for pars,
Many sessions were bulled,
And some Clintons were pulled,
About how he received battle scars.
--- Chris
Are on liberal media's plate,
It is not Murphy Brown,
But to Crusty the Clown,
That Dan Quayle can most closely relate.
--- David B Sousa
Is the source of much liberal glee,
But I'm much more incensed
At his AIDS ignorance
When he spelled AZT "DDT".
--- David B Sousa
Full of children one year past grade three.
But the children all knew
Not to trust you-know-who,
Because he spelled potato "OE".
--- David B Sousa
From his hair to his tiny peepee.
With a head made of wood,
This Chicago doll should
Be the image of our ex VP.
--- David B Sousa
This is file vkl
Let's stick tight; let none come between us
As we happily flail
The quite hapless Dan Quayle,
Rush Limbaugh, and John Switzer's penis.
--- Herbert Rutledge V
Think of Nixon and Bush and our Hero.
And I have a strong hunch
Quayle's the worst of the bunch.
On a scale, 1 to 10, he rates zero.
--- Vern Morrison
About marital matters testicular.
'Stead of sex, he'd prefer
To go golfing with her,
Where his putter may stay perpendicular.
--- Cool-Edge
He was known for his lack of propriety.
His verbal acuity
Was full of vacuity,
So he passed muster in high society.
--- Chris
"Unclear, inarticulate things."
This was said knowingly,
By our former VP
For of gaffes, Quayle's the King Of All Kings.
--- Vern Morrison
And if they got water, we oughter
Have the means to draw breath,
So we don't suffer death,
And pass out, and become Martian fodder."
--- Bill Anderson
But there's a whole newsgroup about me!
It's called alt.fan.dan-quayle,
And it proves without fail,
That the nation just can't do without me."
--- Vern Morrison
Made our Dan look a bit of a clown;
Her fictional morals
Caused factional quarrels:
Would the ratings go up, or go down.
--- Bill Anderson
And one day in the 90's, it struck 'er,
"He likes golf more than sex;
Independence I'll flex,
And leave Dan on the golf course, poor sucker."
--- Patrick Walsh
"I was once such a romantic sucker!
But a day's golf is tough--
Eighteen holes is enough!
When I'm done, I just too tired to fuck her."
--- Vern Morrison
Whose brain was completely non-resident.
So he wired up his mouth
To an organ down South
And his words became legion, not hesitant.
--- Don Coolidge
Of his wonderful way with a word.
Oh, he must have thought sweet
Was the taste of his feet,
And he clearly had room for a third.
--- Don Coolidge
At the bondage 'tween Mother and Child.
And if there's no Dad,
Why, the Mother's a Cad
Who deserves to be foully reviled.
--- Don Coolidge
This puppy went on the attack.
While feeling his oats,
He kept quoting non-quotes,
As his ratings roared past to the back.
--- Don Coolidge
His ratings diminish to zero.
Through Robin to Batman,
Endorsed by the Fat Man,
His song's reminiscent of Nero.
--- Don Coolidge
He'll gird up his loins and his steel
And make his last stand
In Republicanland
Somewhere between far out and real.
--- Don Coolidge
Consider how aging will be.
Your nuerons will thin
As Quaylescence sets in,
And you'll drool, stumble, mumble, and pee.
--- Don Coolidge
To the bank? To the boardroom? To jail?
For shtupping the nation
Mere incarceration
Seems somehow remarkably pale.
--- Don Coolidge
If they're headed for Heaven or hell.
But whichever location
Is their destination,
It's bound to be clear from the smell.
--- Don Coolidge
"Just who were the voters selections?
Did we win? Did we lose"
Can I start chasing Cooze?
Or have they yet held the elections?"
--- Theo Heller P9301
"The market is up for a spell.
Business leaders take pains
To buy the best brains.
When your IQ hits 82 -- sell!"
--- Phil Cannibal P9301
But Quayle's brains are the lightest.
But you can't make fun of
The fact that he's one of
The GOP's best and the brightest!
--- Jim Weaver Collection a
Just slightly misspelled potato.
When told of his folly
He answered, "By golly,
I thought 'twas spelled like tomatoe.
--- SantyClz
Has announced for the campaign trail.
But he's such a sap
When he opens his yap,
He steps in dog shit without fail.
--- Anon
I've started to send him e-mail.
If he ignores the fools
And follows my rules,
He'll be White House bound without fail!
--- Marlene
Except it's the AMERICTECH way
To use A T and T
For the olde DNC."
Having voiced that, he SPRINTED away.
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9711
They must protect black, gay, and midget.
But the voters spoke loud
At the far leftist crowd;
In '94 we flipped our digit.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
We're just thankful the nation's afloat,
And we hope it survives
The rest of our lives,
In spite of the way that we vote.
--- A N Wilkins P8612
So that part is over, at last.
Again in the fall,
They'll redo it all.
And once more, we all will get gassed.
--- Larry Davis P8607
To select from all those who compete:
To the winner, the reins --
To the loser, the pains
And the agony felt in defeat.
--- R J Winkler P8411
All people are asked to remember:
A citizen resident,
By voting for president,
Is using the right of each member.
--- R J Winkler P8411
Shows us why the election's a mess
"I select handsome men,
Answer questions 'cause when
Propositioned, I always say yes."
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0212
Subject to testosterone,
But since ladies vote,
The label men tote
Is that of an elected drone.
--- Chris Papa
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