MORE

Team Clinton is spinning at top speed;
Starr and Congress got a bad nose bleed.
"Proving perjury's tough.
Bill's suffered enough!"
We'll not get spun but pureed.
--- Sumerman

Bill Clinton's no man of conviction;
Avoiding truth is a lifelong affliction.
Mixing lies with the facts,
We can never relax.
To him, truth is stranger than fiction.
--- Squeaky TP9806

Let's try counting the lies that they tell;
Some think the first couple are swell.
If you've not had your fill,
And you still believe Bill,
Here's some swampland that I'd like to sell.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Liasons, Bill Clinton recalls,
As his ass into court Ken Starr hauls.
Now Billy is shitting.
It's probably fitting,
Testimony means swear on your balls.
--- Jayne

In this country you don't need to lie,
When the court says you must testify.
"Taking the Fifth"
Is a Bill of Rights gift --
But Clinton would rather be sly.
--- John Miller

Clinton's slicing his words like a surgeon,
Tying to stem the lies that burgeon.
The person deposed,
What's next, I suppose,
He'll say he's a technical virgin.
--- Frank Petersohn

When the truth and falsehood collide,
It does not push Bill Clinton off stride.
For a guy who's so smart,
He cant' tell them apart.
But I don't really think he has tried.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Judge Thomas was said to have lied,
And Packwood was chased till he flied.
Condemnation so hearty
Depends on your party,
Since Willie still gets a free ride.
--- Publius TP9901

I somehow just don't give a shit
If Clinton is getting some clit.
It's the charges of perjury
That brought the grand jury,
And I am just tired of it.
--- Gearhart

In the U.S. (or even Missouri),
You're sure to invoke the court's fury,
If you take a chance
On illicit romance,
THEN LIE UNDER OATH TO A JURY!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

On Clinton's story, I'm not sold;
Nor on his defense, thought quite bold.
But I believe the guy
Asked no one to lie.
For my money, I think they were told.
--- Tom Simon

If age seventy is "long in the tooth",
Why is fifty considered "a youth".
If based upon lies,
How can clever man wise?
What we need is a bridge to the truth.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

There was a guy named Bill,
Who had a steadfast will,
He thought it was hip,
To undo his zip,
Now he awaits a starry grill.
--- Anon

Telling truth, if only Bill would;
Since a youngster, this guy's been a hood.
His pants are on fire.
Says Kerry, "As liar,
Willy's proven unusually good."
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Deposition is one way of prying,
To unearth crimes from which you've been shying.
But if you did commit it,
Simply do not admit it.
It's up to them to prove you are lying.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

I'm Clinton, the master of lies;
I can look you straight in the eyes
And question what "is"
'Cause I'm a whiz
At fooling you gullible guys.
--- John Miller

Droning on about sexual predators,
Those republicans need a few editors.
Then they cut to the tape
And I sit there agape,
And think who would not fuck that head o' hers?
--- Anon

I guess they just don't fucking get it;
Don't they realize how long they'll regret it?
She polished his knob;
So he got her a job;
Would they do the same? You bet it!
--- Anon

When every cheap two-bit queenie,
Who sucked on some GOP weenie,
Comes out of the closet
With a semen deposit,
They'll resign; that's the end; its finis.
--- Anon

Hell, we don't give a shit about that
Until some hypocritical rat,
Like that predator Hyde,
Says the president lied,
About whether he fingered her twat.
--- Anon

Now henry, come on, man, get a life!
For that we have all of this strife?
He lied to us all?
Perhaps we should call
And find out what you told your wife?
--- Anon

Their whole case is so ineffectual;
The transcripts are too fucking textual.
The video blows,
All it ever shows
Is that Monica is some kinda sexual.
--- Anon

Its break time; they now take a breather.
I sit back and think how I'd teethe her.
But then what about
If the wife found out?
Hell I wouldn't tell any one either.
--- Anon

In the interests of scandal avoidal,
When one prefers oral to coital,
One should not be so reckless
As to leave a pearl necklace;
Ones aim should be more adenoidal.
--- Anon

Ken Starr is so free with our money
To prove Bill is into strange cunny.
"So who give a shit,
You big hypocrite,
That his dick's always reeking of tunny?"
--- Ogni Gioia

That his dick stinks in not the surprise;
It's the record of intrigue and lies.
So who gives a shit?
We ought to, you twit.
So endure such a schmuck's hardly wise.
--- John Miller

The point you seem to have missed,
That seems to be just the jist.
Not the action alone
That caused us to moan,
What came after is what gets me pissed.
--- Gearhart

The witness tampering and lying
Are the things that Starr is prying,
To bring up and out
A felony, no doubt.
To impede Starr, Clinton is trying.
--- Gearhart

My friend, you are perfectly right.
For no matter how bad Clinton's plight,
And how grievous his sin,
I still think he'll win,
And make M's accusations look slight.
--- Andrew Walker BBC

But there is just one consolation,
Which we'll reach after due contemplation.
Future students of history,
Will clear up the mystery,
Of his sordid and flawed reputation.
--- Andrew Walker BBC

But I'm not here to bash all the Yanks,
They're my friends and I give them my thanks.
But what makes me quite sick,
Is the thought of this hick,
With his dick hanging out of his pants.
--- Andrew Walker BBC

I am sorry to sound so uncouth,
For the problem is not sex but truth.
Telling lies to the court,
It not the world's favorite sport;
What example to set for our youth!
--- Andrew Walker BBC

I try just as hard as I can,
But with Bill I am just not a fan.
His palms seem more sticky
Than those of Tricky Dicky.
Would you buy a used girl from this man?
--- Andrew Walker BBC

This is file vfm

We knew from the start that he lied.
"I had to", the President replied,
To spare Chelsea deep shame
And the disgrace of her name.
A victim-less crime you espied.
--- M David Tilson

In all the world this could unfold
In only America, I'm told.
Where lawyers can take
A blow job and make
A Constitutional crisis so bold!
--- M David Tilson

The Founding Fathers, you see,
Were even smarter than me.
For a balance of power
To keep peace in the bower,
Was the way that they meant it to be.
--- M David Tilson

No to me, it remains a mystery,
Why now at this time in our history
That a judicial fringe
Could go on a binge
And play politics with the judiciary.
--- M David Tilson

I think its become like Vietnam
The price of a win has become
So horrifically blue,
I will offer a clue:
Both sides say they've won and move on.
--- M David Tilson

For God's sake, I plead with Ken Starr
To stop his disgrace of the bar.
For history will say
For the rest of our days
That he was the real White-wa-tarr!
--- M David Tilson

If your crimes were one tenth of his'n,
You'd surely be rotting in prison.
You'd sit there in jail,
Not even make bail,
And stay 'till the dead had all risen.
--- John Miller

If my crimes were equal to his,
Lying about where I spent jizz,
The D.A. would say,
Prosecution?...No Way!
We're not in the muck-raking biz.
--- Tutta Gioia

Is the President still on the make?
Can he eat it and still have his cake?
Or was this young nipper
Ever in Bill's zipper?
We'll find out right after this break...
--- MrMalo

Tom Brokaw and Jennings and Rather
Aboard ship were fated to gather.
They played Anchors Aweigh
When they fell in the bay.
Thank God we're all through with their blather.
--- Ogni Gioia

On some subjects I'll speak philosophic;
For some causes I'm quite philanthropic.
When scanning the news,
I get the blues
Cause everyone's on the same topic.
--- Gearhart

Now can politics ever be the same?
Who wants to play in this cruel game?
Hot a Hyde or Burton,
Reputations are hurtin';
The media and Ken Starr are to blame.
--- Sumerman

Clinton treats the campaign like it's chess,
Sending pawns out to clean up the mess.
And when Bill's speech is done,
He takes off at a run,
To avoid meeting up with the press.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

With respect, we must humbly refuse
To limerick on the state of the news
Of this sexual arrangment.
(Damn good entertainment...
Not a subject we'd normally choose)...

(fake BBC disclaimer)
--- Kim & Sam

The Senate now Clinton is fearing;
Technology seems most endearing.
The new v-chips he'll use
In attempts to confuse.
Perhaps he can block out the hearing?
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Ross Perot, even though he's pintsize,
Is running and hopes for first prize.
Bob Dole smells defeat;
Clinton's fast on his feet;
He'll run (to Mc-D for french fries.)
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Did the girl drive bill to distraction
With a promise of oral action?
Is she lying? Who knows?
Did it all come to blows?
Will we have to print a retraction?
--- Skumbunny

We want truth but the press merely shrugs.
They think readers are stupid as slugs.
Our anger is swollen;
The country's been stolen
By a group of those Arkansas thugs.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Of anger, Bill sure has a fistful;
His plan has become clear as crystal.
He is set for a duel
With that Safire fool;
Let's vote who gets Hamilton's pistol.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

The U.S. Senate has just started pokin',
Into claims campaign laws have been broken.
Those who try to impede,
And intentionally mislead,
Will find out that Fred Thompson's not jokin'!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

The news media's left-leaning slant
Persuades those with the brain of an ant
To ignore what is true,
Till they haven't a clue
That their king is a giant eggplant!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Bill's opinions on war? Don't invite 'em.
Faithful media hacks will just cite 'em.
Clinton doesn't think twice
About giving advice,
When he knows it won't come back to bite 'im.
--- Betty Ann Cansano

With a twist of words, you've been punned.
When smacked back in school, you were nunned.
Now between you and me,
Here's a phrase from TV;
When screwed over, you say you been "chunged".

(Connie Chung got Newt's mother to call Rodham a bitch!)
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Tripp's tapes meant those holding press passes,
Could talk dirty; preach to the masses,
Till the last polls told them no.
Bill Clinton is our ho,
Now they're left with their heads up their asses.
--- Anon

Helen Thomas, from the D.C. Press Corp,
Fired the question Bill couldn't ignore:
Is the White House for sale?
Bill Clinton turned pale.
Helen can't buy Bill's act anymore.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

The Clintons both live with elation,
While the public is kept under sedation,
By the media which tries,
With it's incessant lies,
To keep them from incarceration.
--- Popsicle TP9807

The circus goes on unabated,
As new charges are allegated.
Never the facts;
They're all grinding an axe.
Quote: Inside sources have stated...
--- MrMalo

Hillary dickery dock,
They're sucking your husband's cock.
The clock struck three,
It's on TV.
Hillary dickery dock.
--- Steven Martin Cohen

Clean or dirty, jokes show to the eyes,
What details often tend to disguise.
So it's easy to see
(They protest in DC?)
Bedfellows, not so odd, sex and lies.
--- Anon

In his pants, the press should not be;
That principle is clear to me.
From his pants, they would stay
If he kept it put away,
Instead of out for the women to see.
--- Mike Hunter

At Willy, the press won't stop beaming;
With stories of Bill they are dreaming.
Though they put up a fight,
They're brought into the light,
Albeit, they're kicking and screaming.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

I think the whole thing is a fable,
And the liberal press will enable
A blockage of views
And call it the News;
Look, this guy's source is his table.
--- Anon

Bill's reign should be short if not sweet;
Going down in glorious defeat,
At the hands of the press;
Rife with liberals, I guess
And a system in moral retreat.
--- John Miller

Bill stammered and tried hard to frame
An answer to shift all the blame.
Much to his dismay
The Press had a heyday,
Till Bill finally limped off looking lame.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

MORE