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We've all heard how terribly hard Clinton's sending troops into Zaire. O'Grady dodged Serbian detention, "I want one!" Bill bellowed with laughter. Scott O'Grady hid out for five days I'm Clinton, Commander in Chief; In Europe he'll make the inspection; How did Clinton evade Vietnam? If Bill bombs Iraq, he'll regret it; If Bill bombs Iraq, he'll regret it. Said Clinton, "I've altered the rules The irony's hard to ignore: He's no gung-ho strafer, you say? Active duty sure gives us a hoot; There once was a fellow named Clinton, When they called him, he just wasn't there; With recruits into bed they would hop; Imagine the Pope is a thief; Said Clinton, "My policy's clear; For the gays Willy's taking a stand; If we let Clinton order our troops Clinton has sent our forces to Kosovo. Abandoning the feminine and queer This boast which I've heard once before, You say what -- no wars have been fought? Tomahawk missiles, four score, Now, I hope, for our great country's sake, To boost up his poll numbers more, At the temple, Gore's showing the way; New appointments Bill handles with vigor; I hope you don't think I'll be kicking, Bill's appointments all fuel the debate; On to China they'll go to confer; The convictions create such a fear; The rats in the White House all scurry I felt sorry for poor Betty Currie, Bob Bennet says he smells a rat. "Woof! Hillary!" said Buddy, First Dog, Gore's whining that "They don't believe us. Ms Chavez, the Bush nomination From his father no lesson he took; They roared in as smug as can be, There were some White House bumblers, This all was quite normal and amiably informal. A full-of-bull lawyer named Bennett, A new campaign twist is before us, The other day saw big news made, Said Morris to the judge in black robe, Bill's pals swear that he is dependable, He is hiding out, just like a hermit. As they finally open ruddy eyes, In spite of their efforts to please, They've been weathering all of the flaps, All the things that Bill needs to relax, The White House is like a cartoon, If Dick Armey got in some woman's pants, When he heard how much Hubbell did steal, In the Clinton and Rodham Society, In the past, Bill had lots of defenders, An I.R.S. agent named Krause As Bill's pals, they thought they'd get ahead. James Carville's wry smile is engagin'. Bill's building a bridge to the slammer, Non-Earthlings once crashed in our nation; At her table she's watching the band. Joe Kohn is no fan of Newt So sorry, poor little Joe,
Dole's wounds left him broken and scarred.
But Clinton with aplomb
Just points to his thumb
Which got burned when he spurned his draft card.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Somewhere over a thousand, I hear.
But that's just the core.
Over four thousand more
Will be needed to cover their rears.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
For five days Scott evaded attention.
But when decorated,
Our President stated,
"Dodging's something that we never mention."
--- James M Menger P9508
A new limo was what he was after.
But the engineer's whim
Put him out on a limb;
Chrysler gave him the all-new Dodge Drafter.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
In Bosnia, which didn't amaze
Bill Clinton, by damn!
He dodged Viet Nam
In numerous devious ways.
--- James M Menger P9408
I've had little wars, very brief.
Didn't fight in the ranks
In trenches and tanks,
The Draft Board gave me little grief.
--- John Miller
The Generals gave Bill some reception.
These brave troops need to hear
They'll be back in a year.
Sit here in the draft-dodger section.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
What excuses were told Uncle Sam?
"Well, saltpeter is one--
It would dampen my fun.
And don't field rations still contain Spam?"
--- William N Nesbit P9609
Even Boris has told him to 'nyet' it.
Treating war like a game,
Can bring nothing but shame.
If Bill has any sense, he'll forget it!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
And the world will be mad we upset it.
And you cannot ignore
Retired Vets from old wars:
"If you won't do it right, then forget it!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Of what soldiers may do with their tools.
There are fun little games
You can play without dames.
That I learned in those old English schools."
--- Martin Wellborn P9303
A draft dodger leads us to war!
He loudly protested
A war he detested,
But this one he seems to adore!
--- Anon
While he "wagged the dog" to duck a fray?
Some Sudanese might
Have got quite a fright
On Bill's missile-diplomacy day.
--- Anon
There he is, shining his combat boot.
Of Commander in Chiefs,
When Bill drops his briefs,
Paula found not too much to salute.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who the military he did no stint in.
But with his guile,
And pandering smile,
On the road to ruin has bent in.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Out protesting the war wasn't fair.
Now he's given his shot
To be cutting a lot;
Will the Pentagon soon be a square?
--- Jim Weaver Collection
At Excelsior Hotel, pants would drop.
It is nothing that's new;
Sergeants each take their cue,
From the pervert who sits at the top.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
The Vegans are out eating beef;
Jeffrey Dahmer is chef,
Jimmy Carter's Hugh Hef --
And Bill Clinton's Commander-in-Chief.
--- Jim Weaver Collection a
We induct in the Army, the queer.
We won't ask; we won't spy;
But when the real bullets fly,
He's the one that we'll stick in the rear."
--- Martin Wellborn P9308
From the Army they cannot be banned.
Having their own platoons
To the beat of show tunes;
"To the rear, march" is every command.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
To Zaire, then we are indeed stupes!
Cholera's on the rampage
Plus a new strain of AIDS,
In the midst of a tribal dispute.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
He's really quite lucky, don't you know.
The troops kept their word;
No one split for Oxford.
And not one said, "Hell no, we won't go!"
--- David A Brooks Q
Assures Wall Street they've nothing to fear.
I'll jump through their hoops,
And I'll even send troops.
Hell No, not Somalia -- Zaire !
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Has me laughing aloud on the floor.
"War leader?" Absurd!
Or perhaps I misheard;
Do you think that he really mean "whore?"
--- John Miller
Bill's supporters seem just as a thought:
Either lacking in mind
Or partially blind;
Jesus, how fast they've forgot!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Were fired on two countries: THAT'S WAR!
Ninety million was blown
On the missiles alone;
Twice what Starr spent, and now there is more:
--- Jim Weaver Collection
That the pretext for this wasn't fake.
(Just add to the cost
All the lives that were lost.)
AND IT COULD JUST HAVE BEEN A MISTAKE!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Clinton ordered our troops into war.
Bill led them with verve,
And cold steely nerve,
As he waved from America's shore.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
He'll be filling his pockets today.
"Vow of poverty sucks;
Will you pass me the bucks,
Then we'll get down to business and pray."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
He quickly is pulling the trigger.
Compared to old Warren
And four years of snorin',
Ms. Albright has huevos much bigger.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
'Cause on my great leader you're picking?
He thinks he's a rose,
But he's got a brown nose,
From all of his Clinton's ass licking.
--- Anon
We have suffered a horrible fate.
All are filled with much doubt.
He does not check them out.
It's the gang that just couldn't shoot straight.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Their agenda no man can deter.
An announcement at dawn
That the bags are all gone,
It's not luggage to which they refer.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
This is file uxm
More are facing some problems, we hear.
They are after, it's said,
Willy's partner in bed,
Which makes Rodham think she's in the clear.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
To hide things that make Clinton worry.
I will bet you a beer,
That when all the smoke clears,
The fall-guy will be Betty Currie!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
On her way to speak to the Grand Jury.
She could not disguise
The fear in her eyes.
What she knows causes some folks to worry.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Well, there isn't much doubt about that.
His statement rings true
Because I smell one too,
And the White House is right where it's at!
--- John Miller
"Did you get a prince or a frog?
If you'll keep me whole --
Grant me sexual parole --
I'll bite his off, next time we jog."
--- Marsha Magee
It really is starting to peeve us."
Then he heard MTV;
"Bill, about you and me,
Which one's Butthead and which one is Bevis?"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
For Labor, supports pernoctation
By immigrant maids
In the charity grades,
Whose employment's exempt from taxation.
--- Peter Wilkins
In the mirror does he dare to look?
Senate's conscience was Tom,
But son Chris is a bomb,
Because Dodd is a shill for a crook.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
And the witch fired all she could see.
They are nothing but slugs,
All those Arkansas thugs;
Let's evict them and clean the debris.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Just checking for Republican grumblers,
Who learned all their histories,
And answers to mysteries,
And which had been I.R.S. stumblers.
--- Don Hart
There was nothing amiss,
'Cept the way they scoffed Labor
And a crotchety neighbor
And that unhealthy lint in their piss.
--- Don Hart
Took Slick Willie's case for to win it.
Bob's sibling touts morals,
While he covers Bill's "orals",
Bad genes, or breech birth? I'm agin it!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
The quick fall from grace by Dick Morris.
But don't watch for a sob
From those after his job.
Just watch for a huge tug-of-war-us.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
How "Dick" Morris was excellently laid.
The lady, a looker,
Was also a hooker.
But at least she was getting well paid.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
"I found her while scouring the globe.
The perfect demeanor
To play 'Hide-the-wiener'
With the President's Whitewater probe."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
His friendship and loyalty unbendable.
So it comes as surprise
When they each realize
That when push comes to shove, they're expendable.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
All his cronies refuse to confirm it.
The scannergate scandal
Is too much to handle,
For the Democrat felon, McDermott.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
And told of Foster's demise,
So from Starr's office, hark,
Vince died not in that park,
Oh my goodness, now that's a surprise.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
They're as welcome as dogs with the fleas.
"Friends" tend to withdraw
When you've broken the law,
And let you take the blame for the sleaze.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
While the truth has seen widening gaps.
It was very well planned
When each raised his right hand;
They would have a gang memory lapse.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
From loose women to juicy Big Macs,
Handlers ripped from his grip.
"Keep your mouth and pants zipped,
And get rid of that ear-shredding sax!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
A tag team led by a buffoon.
These mental midgets
Are beginning to fidget.
They'll be gone by the next Harvest Moon.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Resign? Why, he would not have a chance!
Mrs Armey's no fool;
Her response so cool;
"How do I reload?" from a shooter's stance.
--- David A Brooks Q
Webster's pain, noble Clinton could feel.
Between numerous sobs,
Bill cried, "Land him some jobs!
Because, otherwise, he won't heal."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Where meanings have such a variety,
Did Hugh shame his friends"
Well the answer depends
On the meaning you give impropriety.
--- Peter Wilkins
Black and white, high and low, and all genders.
But Golden Boy's going down.
His old pals can't be found.
They don't want to join Bill in the blender.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Was arrested for dunning a mouse.
His fiscal abuse
Was so damned obtuse,
Now he's working in Clinton's White House.
--- Pecos Bill
We're afraid that they chose the wrong bed.
There were no dividends
For his three closest friends;
One in jail, one disgraced and one dead.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
But behind it, his sharp mind is stagin'
A fat bag of tricks
For campaign '96.
Bob and Jack, keep an eye on this Cajun!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
As each female he tries to enamor.
With a TOP SECRET dick
And a mind that is sick,
James Carville's beginning to stammer!
--- Marsha Magee
About Roswell we have affirmation.
No, it isn't some spoof
'Cause James Carville is proof
Of alien life procreation.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
You tell Jocelyn you're sorry she's canned.
When you meet Elder's pal,
Whether guy or a gal,
Just be careful when you shake the hand.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Since his pals got the November boot.
Conservatives grin
At the mess they are in,
Now that liberals can't get our loot.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Now that Newt is running the show.
Your freeloading ways
Have numbered days;
The deficit no longer will grow.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
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