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The Life-Force, afflicted with doubt, It's all down to Mind over Matter," There's a sensitive man in Tom's River, This question comes not from duress, In life's mix of warp and of weft, So I believe nothing at all, Not one of you people exist; There's no Archie, no Pete, that is plain; A scholar Sir Mordecai Ross Ad announces "Manipulate Fate" Deadly Sins, for most people, I trust A philosopher, finding a stone, There once was a person of Chiswick, And so, without you and with me, We haven't a clue where we're going, That nothing exists cannot be, The truth of all this, does seem plain, Optimism is always what's best Material equals the parts, There was a young man who said "Damn! There was a young man who said, "Damn! If secrets of life you beseech, In thought of ethics and reason There's a Chinese philosopher, Chan, One's quest for warm hearts and affection, It's awfully late; I can't sleep. To philosophers trying to sleep, A skeptic I'm called, 'cause I doubt Man's life on this Earth is all blotches, A Solipsist with triplets said, "Though A solipsist aired his contention There was an old Sophist, whose soul "If a tree falls when no one's around, An insensitive student named Glass Thrown up on the shore from the sea, Don't think is will fall to your lot Said a Stoic, tormented by gout, Maria was known to be clever We greet the third Christian millennium, A philosophy don in Cadiz Opportunity knocks at the door. There once wasn't a rhymer named Ned There's a time machine inside your mind, Re-experience moments you prized, Full control of your life with your brain, Plan a trip to before you were born; Why not create a past life or two? On the trips to the future take care, The future -- a source of trepidation, A philo prof's cognitive tools: No streaking through fields filled with burrs; Aging humorist, Wellington Frye, During travels, I once met a man He said, "Society should be agrarian The apocalypse nothing to fear, This truth's offered to all for a start. Under ladders I never will duck Some advise, but I've oft wondered why, Our life is not what it seems; The trick in response to life's riddle: Wonders could cheer us both up. Transgressing the norms of society Television does rot the brain; Excuse me my rude intervention True confession is good for the soul. Confucious, that Chinese sage, There isn't a shadow of doubt, (excessive coition doesn't exist - McW)
As to what it was bringing about,
Cried, "Alas, I am blind,
But I'm making a Mind,
Which may possibly figure it out."
--- Thomas Thorneley
I said as I strove to get at her.
"Just think existential;
Conclusion, eventual:
Is if you don't mind, it don't matter."
--- Tiddy Ogg
Whom Minsky's causes to quiver.
The aesthetic vibration
Bring soulful elation,
And also is good for the liver.
--- Anon L1589
But such truths, it is well to assess.
"The whole's more than the parts,"
Is how one theory starts.
What if though, it's not more but less?
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0308
At making yon cash I'm not deft.
I'm really not bluffing,
I started with nuffing,
And still, I have most of it left!
--- Doug Harris P0509
Not e'en that the earth's a big ball.
So I sit here and type
This meaningless tripe,
Knowing that it won't leave these four walls.
--- Tiddy Ogg
You're fainter than clouds in a mist.
So I'll talk to mysel'
In this warm padded cell --
It's so comfortable here, round the twist.
--- Tiddy Ogg
No Karen, no Marlene, no Jane.
No Tutta, no Ogni,
No Ericka, no me!
I'm a figment of my own brain.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Found the answers to life in a gloss.
The lacuna that foiled
All the labor he'd toiled,
Was the questions were soiled with a toss.
--- Anon
But I'll categorically state:
Though you put your mind to it,
You really can't do it;
None can trash pre-ordained karma freight.
--- Esther Koch
Will evoke a response of digust.
Of Envy and Greed,
We have little need,
But what would we do without lust?
--- Alex Heydon P0412
Posed the question: How far was it thrown?
Though he couldn't decide,
He deduced it implied,
He existed and wasn't alone.
--- Prof M-G
Who said, "I despise metaphysic.
Oxford may feel
That the real is ideal,
But it certainly isn't in Chiswick.
--- J M Ross
Adrift in life's murky deep sea,
Where, thinking we're wise,
We philosophize
Why free lunches cannot be free.
--- John Miller
If the world's speeding up or it's slowing;
If we're mired deep in shit
And we have any wit,
Then why in the Hell aren't we rowing?
--- John Miller
For if nothing existed, you see,
'Twould be nothing no more,
And there's nothing so sure.
(But it's nothing that's bothering me.)
--- Peter Wilkins
Is that philosophy would be in vain,
If its aim were a view
So objectively true,
It would not be discarded again.
--- L S Sprigge
And I'm ever so very impressed,
When cross fingers, touch wood,
(Lady luck please be good)
That things always burn out for the test.
--- Doug Harris P0507
Atoms and such, for a start.
But organization
Is the formal relation,
Like the shape, the pattern, or art.
--- Anon
It appears my whole life is a sham.
My outward depiction
Is merely a fiction,
Not really the man that I am.
--- Richard Long
It occurs to me that I am
A creature that moves
In predestinate grooves;
Not a bus, nor a train, but a tram."
--- M E Hare
I've discovered the answer to each;
Though you're blessed with dexterity,
An itches' severity
Is higher the farther from reach.
--- G Watson
Of religion, approved of, or pagan,
Belief is the core,
There's no proof of more,
So I'll wait till proof is in season.
--- Anon
Who explained how religions began:
"Like neighbor downstair
Who await, unaware,
Second shoe from a one-legged man."
--- Thomas A Quinine P8302
Can lead in so many directions.
And eager romancers,
Say love is the answer,
But sex raises pretty good questions.
--- Anon
Been thinking philosophies deep;
About yang and yin
And the wages of sin,
And sowing what I want to reap.
--- Marlene Lewis
Distracted by mysteries deep --
Count the seraphim
On the head of a pin;
Much profounder than just counting sheep.
--- Dr Limerick
The existance of what's talked about.
Not just the rules
But the gods and the tools
From which all these commandments sprout.
--- Anon
As more and more projects he botches.
Since man started his climb
From the primordial slime,
It appears that he's slipped a few notches.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2455
No one else can exist, if it's so,
Why I went through so much
To bring up my clutch
In my fancy, I really don't know."
--- Lupellus
To peers at a recent convention.
He cried, "It's quite clear
That you're really not here,
But you bastards just don't pay attention."
--- Graham Lester
Felt an urge towards the Infinite Whole.
He said, "It is grand
That the soul would expand
While the body subsists on the dole."
--- Thomas Thorneley (Bibby)
Is it true it does not make a sound?"
"Yes it does, (with disdain)
Just where is your brain?
Do you hail from some stupid hick town?"
--- Al Willis P9711
This is file uvl
Once flunked his philosophy class
When they asked him where of
Was the source of all love,
He said, "Three inches north of the ass."
--- Bob Giandomenico P8905
The starfish lay looking at me.
It watched as I pondered
Its fate, and I wondered
What it's like to swim off and be free?
--- Ystap
To get what you like; it will not;
But if you're heroic,
And follow the Stoic,
You'll fancy you'll like what you've got.
--- Leslie Johnson
"There are times when I'm tempted to doubt
Our pose about pain,
And disposed to maintain
It is something we're better without."
--- Thomas Thorneley
With Weltschmerz and Angst, but she never
Could quite get the hang
Of the old Sturm und Drang,
No matter how hard she evdeavored.
--- Paul M Hoffman
Powered by Prozac and Pentium.
Good, evil, truth, lies,
For supremacy vies,
And by turns, each enjoys some momentium.
--- Dr Limerick
Gave his students a difficult quiz.
"If nothing is true,
And we see things askew,
How can anyone tell me what is?"
--- Warrick Elrod
It knocks just once and no more.
But temptation, unclean,
On the doorbell does lean,
And the bell seems to ring evermore.
--- Al Willis
Who was a was not, so he said.
In fact he insisted
He never existed,
Except inside some poor fool's head.
--- Brandy Brandon P9503
To this time and space not confined;
Return to the past,
Destinations are vast,
Or fast forward to see what you find.
--- Joel D Ash
The delights of your life scrutinized;
Scenic beauty recaptured,
Again your enraptured,
In your time machine all this reprised.
--- Joel D Ash
See things that no longer remain;
Events can be changed,
Some results rearranged,
You can be a young child one again.
--- Joel D Ash
See the Earth on the very first morn;
No borders for nations,
No thought limitations,
Imagine the perfect sojourn.
--- Joel D Ash
There is nothing your mind cannot do.
Dream up some dreams,
Got to any extremes,
Climb a mountain peak near Katmandu.
--- Joel D Ash
You may not like what you see there;
Be aware if you venture;
I don't want your censure,
The world will be different -- beware!
--- Joel D Ash
But provokes a sense of facination.
The road I am on
Goes hither and yon
Without any fixed destination.
--- Azul
"Reason's for unreasonable fools;
Logic's got no appeal,
Since what is, isn't real;
And it's certain uncertainty rules."
--- John Sandler P9112
Beware of the puss with no purrs.
Only foolish bazoos
Stand up in canoes;
No squatting while wearing your spurs.
--- Anon
Misanthropically biting but spry,
When warned that he'd rue it,
Just scoffed, "Nothing to it.
I'll continue to come through as wry."
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0310
Who told me that he had a plan
To make tensions ease
And ensure world peace,
If everyone adopted his stand.
--- Puff Adder
And we all should become vegetarian."
I ain't had much school
But I'm nobody's fool;
I think I'll just stay Presbyterian.
--- Puff Adder
For the end of the world is not near;
Many changes no doubt,
As new ideas sprout,
And the limits of man disappears.
--- Joel D Ash P0009
We speak straight from a pure humble heart.
As we worship we're free.
When we cease to agree,
We'll first backbite, then slander, then part.
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P0110
And the cracks in the pavement I buck;
'Cause it isn't judicious
To be superstitious,
In fact, I just think it's bad luck!
--- Val Burns P0511Q
To be careful in all things you try.
"Don't smoke, don't make bets,
Don't have casual sex,
Don't live just in case you might die."
--- Mike Dale
It never pours, but it teems.
But if we make cheer
With what we have here,
We need never resort to our dreams.
--- J H
Simply choose not too much nor too little!
For some might make sport;
That's the long and the short.
If a man, be the man in the middle.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Then sharing a hot cyber cup
Of tea, with some bickies.
That should do the trickies
And all of those blues we will whup!
--- Archie
Can fill you with nervous anxiety.
If you don't want to get
An undignified sweat,
You should always behave with propriety.
--- David Morin
Friendships are an awful pain;
Work is stress.
More is less.
Best to do nothing -- again. (yawn)
--- Lynn Mostafa
But beware your lover's intention.
Might we not find
Love not so much blind,
As an act of human invention?
--- Chris Woodger P0411
Is it ever honest and whole?
If you know yourself well,
You won't ever tell,
Lest the whole be reduced to a hole.
--- Laurence Perrine P9306
Whose words were once all the rage,
Took his own advice
Not once but twice,
And to himself, he's now engaged.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
We're all of us ON THE WAY OUT,
From old age or ambition
Or excessive coition --
So drink up before you are nowt.
--- E O Parrot
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