MORE
To the party, it's just a few miles; To break Rodham from jail, she'll try, The White House is hoping that Mari Mari Anderson's gone underground. The White House does not guarantee Clinton's lawyers are all on alert So good that you've done this collection; (unsuccessful search for library for Clinton limericks -McW)
Bill thought FBI files were grand; Queen of softballs, Ms. Walters remains. Flowers latest caused Rodham to rage; The whole nation watched as Al Gore What's the difference 'tween catfish and Rodham? Bill's researchers had each done his part; Here's a slogan that's sure to get hoots; Compartmentalization's the key First came mad bomber Kaczynski, Of dreams for the world, we've got 'em, Hillary is the family breadwinner, We can see that upstream Rodham's swimmin'; Spurned Hillary he faced with dread, If Hillary gets in, and she will, And Bill, in affairs of the heart, There were two celebrities named Hillary; No matter what November brings, "We must skim off some money" she roared. As the exorcist finished, you see, The Vatican crowd we watch swell; Willy's aim was not to lay blame; As they close in on Rodham, she's scared; She never knew beans about cows; (Hilary made cow futures money)
"Hillary," said her Doc, "Who've you hugged? A pollster's no more than a mystic. For Italians she blessed them at Pisa; Hillary's internet guru, named Tom, On and on, we can hear Clinton rattle; Flight 800 had quickly met doom; My first term in the Senate will be Bill wanted her trip to begin; (INS - Immigration and Naturalization Service)
Not to say that Ms Hillary's a hag, I'll do Hillary without any fuss; Hillary, I do miss you so. The right stuff may spare me the pillory; Hillary and Willie had a talk, Here's what First Lady Hillary wore; I'm tired of Hillary's hue and cry, Hillary Clinton's obtuse: Evil Rodham's devoid of contrition, For memoirs, Hillary got eight mil. Since their membories have been erased, We all know that president Billy Though he said it is a rarity, Just what did the Great Lady do? In the kitchen she never would cook; Poor Hillary, what's she to do? Rosty thought stealing money was fun, Bill and Hillary had big dreams of Camelot While Hillary's not a real looker, Hillary's known as a leader, For her country, she'd show off her might, Ms Clinton, Hillary Hodham By Starr's marshals Ms. Rodham is tackled; Are there other charges Starr will get 'round to? Willy is soon gone away, She had many tricks up her sleeve, To Karachi where danger is near, Rodham smugly was chanting "Four more! 'Bout Tiananmen Square let's talk frank;
The young interns and pals were all smiles.
"In the vault we'll relax
With a keg and a fax.
Let's have fun with the FBI files."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
But the dimwitted aide went awry.
There's a file in the cake,
But there's one big mistake:
It's manila and says "FBI!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Keeps her cool and then cleverly buries
All the dirt underneath,
And lies through her teeth,
After burning all "logs" she can carry.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
What she know about Filegate's profound!
For the 6-month "log" gap
Has her caught in a trap,
And the Senate has sent out the hounds.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Your file is safe from appointees.
They can go smugly through it,
Digging dirt as they do it,
Defiling your right of privacy.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
As they frantically sweep up the dirt.
The fumes from the files
Promise proof of pure guile.
And the outcome will not be inert.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Historians will embrace with affection.
Because the truth has been told
By satirists who were bold
To describe the facts to perfection.
--- mdt1
A snafu and the fire is fanned.
But it's B.S. we see
From this slick S.O.B.;
S.O.L.'s where we currently stand.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
It was candor that Ms. Rodham feigns.
She and Vince were just friends;
Well, that really depends;
Does a friend often screw out your brains?
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Penthouse comments Bill tried to assuage.
And if you didn't hear,
It's about her big rear;
Rodham's butt was too big for the page.
--- Jim Weaver Collection a
Sought political peace to restore.
While Gebhardt, and Durbin,
And Hillary Clinton
Were making their plans for '04.
--- Election 2000
A few answers, we think that we've got 'em.
One is served on a dish
As a quite tasty fish,
And the other sucks slime at the bottom.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
So revealing the findings, please start;
What's the substance most cold;
Please announce it, be bold.
Not surprising, it's Hillary's heart.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
The term mother, now Rodham uproots.
If someone's berated,
A new slur's created.
Your caregiver wears combat boots.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
To the Bill Clinton presidency.
There's a Monica box;
One for Congress and Sox,
And a matchbox for poor Hillary.
--- Prof M-G
Followed by the blower Lewinski.
Hillary, to be sure,
Says it's quite clear to her,
That they're part of the "Right Wing Conspirski"
--- David A Brooks Q
But most just sit back on their bottom.
Like a John Lennon dream,
Will you please join the team?
And envision a world without Rodham.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Devoting her life to that sinner.
Having escaped jail,
She's on the campaign trail.
She's an excellent political spinner.
--- Tom Simon
The notes just appeared, she was brimmin'.
"I can tell you for sure
That the third floor's secure,
Excepting, of course, all Bill's women!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Couldn't make her in marital bed.
So he'd EXPIATE
A new job create,
And senator make her, instead.
--- Chris Papa
Will she go out and scout on the hill.
Will it be her concern
To find an intern,
To satisfy First Husband Bill?
--- John Miller
I think he had better get smart,
Or his pecker so bent,
Will blow out his stent,
And we'll write off another old fart.
--- John Miller
Both reached a peak, but one was a pillory.
He climbed atop Everest,
Whitewater let her never rest,
Her future faces heavy artillery.
--- H Kleidman
We can still be assured of one thing:
Clinton's star will sink lower
White Water ain't over,
And it won't be, till the First Lady sings.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
The option sneaked right past the board.
Yes, Ms. Rodham's the one
And we found what she'd done;
Funneled four hundred thousand to Ward.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
'94 cleaned out much of D.C.
There are two more to nail
And then right will prevail;
Get the trainer and her chimpanzee.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
We await what the Pope has to tell.
"Though her backers may faint,
I say Rodham's no saint,
And in fact, she is destined for Hell!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Now with him Hillary will flame,
So he'll have to learn,
That when with intern,
To be a GRIG could lead to shame.
--- Darryl
Some money and passport she snared.
She picks color blanco
For her brand new Bronco;
With gun and disguise she's prepared.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
The wherefores, the ways or the hows.
You could hardly describe
How Bill got his bribe,
And silk from the ears of her sows.
--- Don Hart
You've got crabs." But Hillary shrugged,
And said, "I'll just tell Bill
I have what made Nixon ill.
It seems the Oval Office is bugged."
--- Theo Heller P9312A
Their numbers are not realistic.
Clinton had the big win,
So why's Hillary in,
And Bill is now just a statistic?
--- Theo Heller P9306
On the morning show, she prayed with Leeza.
Now a habit she wears;
We're amazed how she swears;
She is Hillary Mother Teresa.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
This is file utm
Dropped an outrageous political bomb.
Trying to make his best guess
At her E-mail address,
He suggested: hillary.homely.com
--- Squeaky TP9807
It's the deficit he's set to battle.
It is sort of funny,
His plan for our money
Is let Rodham invest it in cattle.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
We are all asking why and by whom.
Vapor trail was seen.
What does all of this mean?
They've discovered it's Hillary's broom.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Just a step to the Presidency.
Yes, the Senate, my friend,
Is a means to an end.
Arkansas, please do not cry for me.
--- William N Nesbit
He had plans for engaging in sin.
INS had request;
Tighten borders your best;
Perhaps Rodham might not get back in.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Or in places she's starting to sag.
Though she's tried to repair
The state of her hair,
She still looks like a carpet bag.
--- Frank Petersohn
In a bed, on a truck, on a bus.
Bill can be there;
I really don't care,
While I do to her, what they do to us.
--- Jim Weaver Collection a
These days you are always on the go.
For your love I yearn,
(Come in Ms. Intern)
Stay well, dear, I'm busy, you know.
--- Frank Fazed
Sturdy rope will prevent peccadillory,
Add a good climbing shoe,
And pretend you're K2 --
I'll pretend that I'm sir Edmund, Hillary.
--- Anon
Of the kitten who wore no socks.
He had to confess
That it made quite a mess,
"But I never poked I just rocked"
--- Anon
We admit it's a bit of a bore.
But this dress from the Gap
Offers crackle and snap:
The line forms seven blocks from this door.
--- Anon
As if she would make a Senate try.
And her latest faux pas
Left many feelings raw.
The Dems can kiss their chances goodbye.
--- David A Brooks Q
She blames on some childhood abuse
Her Willie's sex life;
But with HER for a wife,
The President NEEDS no excuse!
--- Anon
So from state, there's a new proposition.
Stars and Stripes are unfurled,
She will travel the world
For a place that has no extradition.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
They gave twelve to her husband Bill.
But remember them both,
When they were under oath,
Could recall nothing -- zip, nada, nil.
--- Al Bienstock
On what will their memoirs be based?
Will the pages be blank,
Like each memory bank,
In their books about eight years of waste?
--- Al Bienstock
Sure has an eye for a filly.
No woman is safe
Within miles of the place,
Unless she is ugly as Hillary.
--- Al Willis
There's this peculiarity:
Multiple offers
Of skin flute proffers,
Caused no spousal Hillarity. (sic)
--- Daniel Ford
Her husband was sure that he knew:
Just jiving and shucking
She might have said fucking,
But she never would say fucking Jew.
--- Anon
It is clear that she's really a crook.
Here's a brand new snafu;
She's a plagarist too.
They learned Casper had written her book.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
The polls have her feeling quite blue.
She cannot beat any
Republican 'cept Cheny,
Who smiles as he plays a kazoo.
--- Joe Long
But in jail he will not see the sun.
At reporters he snaps
"You really are saps;
Wait till you learn what Rodham has done!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
But their sleazy ways tripped them and they got caught.
To escape with their skins,
They must drop their fake grins,
And make tracks to that place known as "Scam-a-lot."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
The Prez can't be caught with a hooker.
To satisfy yearning
He's lately been learning
To just bite the bullet and schtoop 'er.
--- Anon
Whose husband can't even please her.
She's screwing with Tipper,
Gilligan and Skipper,
But I think she's just a cockteaser!
--- T9712
But marines would let Rodham fight.
He own motto she needs,
For attempted good deeds;
Semper Fido seems just about right.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Is now in the Senate from Gotham.
She has no seniority
Or any authority;
What a shock! It's the view from the bottom.
--- Dr Limerick 11-08-00
"Don't you dare put those on me", she cackled.
Much to our surprise
There is fire in her eyes;
She can still macarena while shackled.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
New evidence to be had, something found to
Implicate the First Lady
In land deals so shady?
Maybe Hillary's now going down, too.
--- Tom Simon
And then we'll have much less to say,
'Bout his morals lack.
Then we'll have to track
His mate, who is still in the fray.
--- Chris Papa
And believes we are all so naive.
Our values she mangled;
Her web became tangled,
When first Rodham chose to deceive.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Went Rodham as she fought off fear.
But quickly she railed
About being veiled;
We'd prefer that she wear one right here.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
I'm a socialist down to the core.
My threat isn't funny.
All you who have money
Be prepared to be mugged at the door."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
There were heroes whom we must all thank.
As one image lives clear,
Let's relive it, my dear.
Rodham, please stand in front of the tank.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
MORE