If ridicule you wish to avoid, Tell me Hillary, sweet, Bill said, "You have aroused me, my dear; The media is having a blast, In public, a loving pair, An eagle whose wings have been clipped, "Slick Willy" should once in a while, A statesmanly woman named Hillary The right gifts might spare me the pillory; When Bill and Hillary Slick Meanwhile Bill's dear Hill-a-ree Hill woke up Bill, a cheap shot... Shut Up, every right winger meanie; To the Whitehouse West Portico greeter, Bill and Hillary left church to boos. Bill Clinton's the man of the hour; Old Billy's in trouble in spades, Actually, Hillary's back home in Arkansas. Bill Clinton is suffering malaise, There once was a young man from Hope; She'd give up on Bill? Don't I wish! That woman will live with her spouse As Hillary stands by his side, Now don't get on Hillary's case, Mrs C, like her hubby, is sly; Even though Bill and Hillary are wed, There was a young pervert from Hope, Executive Privilege we discern, Over welfare, Bill Clinton's a hack. Bill Clinton? Full of crap is he. A world poll of Bill and Mon's frolics I have been browsing the net, merely lurking, "Oh, please let our President be!
This is file uqm
Oh Lordy, Have they made my day! Say banker and fat bureaucrat Today I am not very proud; Unless you want us to get stuck Man, I would give up ten bucks The question is one for grand juries One feels sorry for President C., It seems Clinton bashers abound; You have no right to complain Oh no! That Slick Willie again. Seems journalists can't find the news As Pres, Bill couldn't be hipper; My what a temper have we, Throwing stones amidst their glass castles, Impeach the man from D.C.? Our Congress accepted the scoop It seems our esteemed Head of State Please do not be depressed; The impeachment trial's over at last, If the Senate can legally avoid Why pick on poor Starr and poor Hyde? The voices, hushed and intonious, Bill! Jesus Christ, aren't you proud? How could you dare to convict I keep getting thie recurring hunch... A Republican Congressman, Hyde, For all Clinton lovers, this thought: "No need for a trial!" so they spin. Bill's got troubles galore; You know its their solemn duty In bed, Bill's a great president, Oh come now, Mister Henry Hyde; You wouldn't have told your mommy
Mrs. C., don't be paranoid.
Just accept it's high time
Willy paid for SOME crime,
Of the many whose fruits you've enjoyed.
--- John Miller
Why you enable Bill, the cheat.
He gives in to lust,
You can't even trust
The satyr to be a little discreet.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Makes me wish that the pole vault was near."
She said, "Willy, you dud,
With the size of your pud,
A small hurdle you'd not even clear!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Detailing Bill's hot sexual past.
I look at my husband dear,
And for Hillary shed a tear;
I'm not his first lady, but I'm last.
--- Tom Simon
But when in their own private lair,
Does she say with a smirk,
"Bill, you fucking jerk!
I never expected to share!"
--- Arden
Wishes Monica'd been more tight-lipped.
The White House resident,
Who's not the President,
Would prefer that his nuts had been nipped.
--- Anon
Behave in his own DOMICILE,
And share his sex life
With only his wife,
That lawyerly mistress of guile.
--- Chris Papa
Said: "I'm pissed off with your peccadillory --
All this billin' and cooin'
With Monica Lewin --
Sky's givin' me terrible billary!"
--- Anon
Sturdy rope may prevent piccadillory.
Add a good climbing shoe,
And pretend you're K2.
I'll pretent that I'm Sir Edward, Hillary.
--- Travis Ruetenik
Made known their political clique
Of Lesbians and gays,
And folks with strange ways,
The world then became somewhat sick.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Stands by her old man, yes-sir-ee.
She goes to great pain
To clearly explain
A mean right wing con-spir-a-cee.
--- Scott Baldwin
"I'm just going to squat on the pot."
"You going for a pee?
Why alert me?"
"I want you to just save my spot."
--- TuttaGioia a
Please just lay off our grand King and Queenie.
Her views are in fashion;
She has the compassion,
And even shares her husband's weenie.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Said Bill, "The First Lady -- none's sweeter --
But remember that she's
Changed her name, if you please,
As you know, she is now Sharon Peter."
--- Martin Wellborn P9807a
Bill walked fast, looking down at his shoes.
Notice that Hill
Had a look that could kill.
Who she'll kill, I'll leave you to choose.
--- Annie Jay
So why does his wife have the power?
Lewinsky of course,
(Half woman, half horse)
No wonder Ms. Clinton's so sour!
--- Star TP9806
And Hillary's now quite afraid.
Guess her conscience requires
She quell her desires,
Now that hubby's spreading his AIDES.
--- Rusty Smith a
While Congress debates impeachment law.
During all of this strife,
She still is his wife.
She sure stands by her man -- haw, haw!
--- David A Brooks Q
He's not getting much sex these days.
Says Hillary Rodham,
"Keep away from my bottom;
You've spent too much time with those gays."
--- James M Menger P9308
Had a wife who just couldn't cope.
She threw ash trays at Bill
With remarkable skill,
And thought about leaving the dope.
--- James
Though sure to have sex with some dish,
And leer, smirk, and grope,
His wife will still cope,
And their enemies sleep with the fish.
--- John Miller
In a lovely and well-known white house,
As head of this nation,
In her own plantation,
Though Willie's a certified louse.
--- John Miller
Bill claims the women have lied.
So from now to the end
She'll be his best friend,
For privilege, power and pride.
--- Bob Birch P9804
A fine specimen of the human race.
No, she's not pretty
And hasn't much titty,
But she always tries to save face.
--- Puff Adder
Feigns amazement we'd pick on her guy.
She says it is silly
To distrust Slick Willy,
Just because of one teensy lie.
--- John Miller
I will bet they don't share the same bed.
And I'm sure she's aware
Of her husband's affairs
And that V.D. is very widespread.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who didn't inhale on his dope.
He said, "I forgot.
Last time I smoked pot,
Was when Hillary and I then eloped!"
--- Marsha Magee
Keeps Starr from trying to learn
Just what the First Lady
Knows that is shady
About Paula and a certain intern!
--- Sam Pittman
Liberal buddies have launched an attack.
But if you think that's bad,
Chelsea's warning her dad:
"Just you wait until mommy gets back!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
His success is because that we
As a nation complete,
Just stare at our feet,
Afflicted with great apathy.
--- Kasodrac
Would result in "What a load of bollocks!"
Why not spend the time
Instead fighting crime;
The homeless; the hungry; alcoholics?
--- Kim and Sam
While my programming work I've been shirking.
And I see one refrain
Again and again,
From others who should have been working.
--- John Miller
He has led us to prosperity!"
(Now, surely these folks
Are just telling jokes?
They're not posting in sincerity?)
--- John Miller
I'd laugh if they'd show me the way,
Bill's led our finances
In glorious advances,
While keeping inflation at bay...
--- John Miller
Fail to keep this from all going flat.
Will folks act the same
As we go down in flame,
And blame the poor bastard for that?
--- John Miller
Last weekend I said right out loud,
"I'll bet the DOW
Drops half a thou..."
Well, it just went the range I'd allowed.
--- John Miller
With some moron who once drove a truck,
Let the man do his job,
And who's waxing his knob,
I, for one, do not give a fuck!
--- LadyJ
Not to know who the President fucks.
From front or from rear --
I do not even care
If he sleeps with a truckload of ducks.
--- Nik Synytskyy
And for TV guys' whines, sighs, and worries;
While Starr serves a writ,
I do not give a shit.
I have my own life and it hurries.
--- Steevo
His private life fills our TV.
While you and I, say,
Can just rabbit away
In complete anonimity.
--- Birko
Still the polls say he's on solid ground.
It seems he can do
Anything he wants to,
And his polls, they still won't go down.
--- Gearhart
When those who govern remain,
If you didn't vote.
And on that note
I'll end this angry refrain.
--- Arden
Tell me, what do we stand to gain
Knowing how he sleeps,
Who he fucks, how he sheets,
And if Monica's really his bane.
--- Nik Syntyskyy
Unless it involves "who did who".
It is not my biz
Who shot their jizz
And whether is sprayed or it oozed.
--- Gearhart
Over 50, and still works the zipper.
He wants to shout
"You won't kick us out!
If you do, it's Al Gore and Tipper!"
--- Anon
About impeachment I see.
But Bills to blame,
He had no shame;
Your anger is displaced on me.
--- Sumerman
Tormenting us all with their hassles;
They're right, you know,
Old Clinton should go.
But GOD don't they all look like assh'les.
--- MrMalo a
I've thought of a better decree.
If the Senate were smart,
A vote they'd impart:
Blowjobs for all from Lewinsky!
--- Tony Ventura
From America's favorite snoop.
Wild oats he's not sown;
Who cast the first stone
For that sanctimonious group?
--- Cyber Geezer
May be facing impeachment. Hey, Great!
'Cause the Congress, this fall,
Would be watched by us all
As they publicly all mass-debate.
--- Spirit
The problem will soon be addressed
By a whole bunch of guys,
In the Gongress so wise,
Whose efficiency's always impressed.
--- John Miller
Resolved as the pundits forecast.
As the lawyers departed,
Someone let loose and farted
And left the whole Senate aghast!
--- Anon
A long trial, they will be overjoyed!
They'd rather give Bill a pass
Than spend weeks on their ass.
I suspect the key word is "hemorrhoid".
--- Anon
No need to be rude, crude and snide.
Those unfortunate slobs
Are just doing their jobs;
Bet they're really quite human, inside.
--- Anon
With harshest decree sanctimonious;
"Impeach him!" quoth Hyde;
"There's no doubt that he lied
About sex! And we judge him felonious."
--- Disgusted
It looks like you might be allowed
To wiggle and squirm
So's to finish your term;
We'll continue, though under a cloud.
--- John Miller
And pass down a guilty verdict,
If deep in your soul
You've buggered a hole
Of someone you ne'er should have picked.
--- Arden
Politicians are such a lame bunch!
Impeachment or censure,
It's such a gut wrencher;
Forget it! Let's all go to lunch!
--- Observer TP9901
Wanted President Clinton deep-fried.
But come Nov, Y2K;
Grand Old Party will lay
Stone cold dead. Cause of death: Suicide.
--- CB TP9901
If Bill had stepped down, as he ought,
Then we'd all be blessed
With Gore ("second best"),
And the vote wouldn't have to be bought.
--- Anon
They fear that their man cannot win.
For if there is a trial,
There is no denial;
Bill Clinton is guilty as sin!
--- George Maschke
He not only lost his best whore,
His wife's gives him hell;
He'll soon be in jail;
Hail to the Chief to Al Gore.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
To cross-examine this cutie.
There has been some hints
They may find fingerprints,
If first they'd examine her booty
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Whose tool - I'll confirm it -- is bent.
Since he put it in double,
To save Monica trouble,
He's not guilty of coming -- he went.
--- Anon
So you got some on the side.
Affairs at forty-one
Are not exactly that young.
Your story is not bona fide.
--- Ted
Or your seargeant in the Army,
That it's just indiscreet
And not a sin to cheat;
That you only played Hyde the salami.
--- Ted