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Political debate, I'll eshew,
At least until quaffing a few.
I don't give a fig
About Bill, and that prig
Ken Starr, who still ain't got a clue.
--- Irish

Well, I'll do that, but just out of deference.
I suppose that you think that your reference
To Starr has me pissed?
Hell, he won't be missed!
A WINNER would've been my strong preference!
--- Anon

"Starr-crossed lover", I like that.
Yes, the fire is close to Bill's fat.
He may be a hillbilly,
But he's still Slick Willie
And he still has one more turn at bat.
--- S C Saint

I heard of a man named Bill;
He lives near the Capital Hill.
He whipped it out;
Heard interns shout.
Now Starr is out for the kill.
--- Barticus TP9807

Ken Starr went hunting for scandal:
Every Savings and Loan he would handle!
But in losing his aims,
Was diverted by dames
And became Pat Robertson's pet vandal!
--- Amador

Krinkle krinkle, little Starr;
How we wonder what you are.
Way above the rest, I guess.
Looking, looking for a dress.
Picky picky, you've gone too far.
--- Joe Jester a

There once was a man from Dakar,
Who could piss nearly three times as far
As the average dope.
But to piss up a rope,
No way could he beat Kenneth Starr.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

They're talking now, all of Bill's ringers,
And Ken Starr's hearing some of the zingers.
They try plugging the dike;
What they see they don't like;
The Clinton's don't have enough fingers.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Ken Starr will soon open the doors
For professional prosecutors.
The questions around town
Are "What's going down?"
And "Will they cut straight to the core?"
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Miss Lewinsky, Miss Tripp and Ken Starr
All met for drinks in Joe's Bar.
"Ken," Monica said,
"You take Bill to bed.
Linda can record from the car."
--- Anon

Mr Starr, put away your trump card,
Or next time I'll bet it's played hard
By the liberal left,
On a Republican of heft,
To horrify many more than this bard.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Said Ken Starr with a tear in his eye,
Forty mill spent on much SCHWARMEREI
About a bared thong,
And private acts wrong,
And still in the polls he rides high.
--- J'Carlin

Says Starr, "We need proof to win!
There's some left after every sin.
Subpoena the toilet!
Quick or he'll boil it!"
Go get 'em Ken; stick your nose in!
--- MrMalo

"It's a serious case of depravity,"
Said Starr to old Clinton with gravity.
"Your dick was too small;
She'd not feel it at all;
You're charged with not filling her cavity!"
--- Peter W

Encrusted dried sperm lines the box
(Excretions from Starr sniffing frocks)
Of a statute insidious
Put to uses invidious,
Which oozed toxic pus like the pox.
--- Anon

There once was a man named Starr
Who lusted for power afar.
When accounting expenses
He offended our senses,
And we could only go "Arrrr."
--- Anon

That dress during sex that was soiled,
Should never be scrubbed, burned or boiled:
For this would erase
All trace of disgrace,
And Starr in that case would be foiled.
--- Joel D Ash

Now Starr wants to up the score;
"We just will discuss it no more.
The charge will be savage.
But with her batting average,
I'm sure she's played hardball before."
--- MrMalo

On Miss Monica's dress it was plain
That Bill's semen thereon did remain.
So excited was Starr
At this finding bizarre,
His saliva was found on the stain.
--- Al Chaplin P9901

"I'll admit," said a fellow named Starr,
"That a phallus is like a cigar;
But to lie to the nation,
And deny penetration,
Is stretching the truth just too far."
--- Bob Birch P9811

Bill Jefferson Clinton must feel
He has been through a painful ordeal;
Not only has Starr
Asked about a cigar --
Now Buddy and Socks plan to squeal.
--- Norm Storer

Had the issue from vertical dance
Fallen elsewhere in oval room trance,
The stain now on tweed,
The headlines would read,
KEN STARR SUBPOENAED MY PANTS!
--- Joseph Palmer

Miss Lewinsky, Miss Tripp and Ken Starr
Took samples of Bill in a jar
An easier job
Then slobbing his knob
Because she swallowed all evidence so far!
--- Anon

Poor Willie is feeling such pain
Mea Culpas, again and again.
'Tis only 'cause Starr
Has feathers and tar,
To be used on the Internet plane!
--- Anon

An independent counsel named Starr
Was arrested for going too far.
He was searching for sin
From without and within,
And calling for feathers and tar.
--- Brian

Ken Starr is searching for "Big Lie".
He's forcing Clinton to testify.
It's a serious task;
For sure Starr will ask,
"Tell us, did she taste like apple pie?"
--- Jennifer Morales

I think Ken Starr can get a writ
Of labius corpus, to wit:
Let fall the chips
And bring us the lips;
We'd like a sample of spit.
--- MrMalo

Thought Starr had a case, but he mustn't.
Thought Starr was smart, but he wasn't.
Thirty million bucks
To find out who Bill fucks?
It's cheaper to find out who doesn't.
--- MrMalo

He was sick of being kept in suspense
And tiring of all the pretense.
So Starr got real huffy
When he saw her cheeks puffy,
And said, "You withheld evidence!"
--- Ogni Gioia

Ken's poking his head through the doors
To ferret out all Billy's whores.
Subpoenas are flying
And who's next testifying?
The woman who washes the floors?
--- MrMalo

If Ken Starr can prove Clinton's a spawner,
Then the President's surely a goner.
But did Kenneth neglect
To show proper respect,
By addressing the man as "You're on her."
--- Larry Hollister a

Look at that asshole, Ken Starr;
This time he went way too far.
There may be a dress
That should go to the press,
But those stains were not White Wa-tar.
--- M David Tilson

In Starr's zeal to calumniate
And warp every small tete-a-tete,
His credibility will wane;
He'll feel sympathy pain
When he gets the fickle finger of fate.

(calumniate - denigrate and slander a public official)
--- S C Saint

This is file uom

An idea that comes from Bill's staff;
It has merit; please do not laugh.
It's truly inspired.
Let's get Ken Starr fired;
We'd be cutting the crime rate in half!
--- Jim Weaver Collection A

Mean-spirited old Kenneth Starr
Now gleefully lights his cigar --
Now he is gloating
From all the Deep Throating --
But I think he's gone much too far...
--- CB T9801

Bill Clinton's no saint, I am sure,
But this witch hunt is so much manure.
He just dipped his wick
In the mouth of a chick...
Ken Starr is just jealous...the boor.
--- Terry Lynn

It's no matter if we like old Bill,
But we also have had our fill.
I think Starr should be barred
And feathered and tarred
Before dredging more grist for the mill.
--- S C Saint

To you he looks like battler;
To me he's a snake, not a rattler;
Not king snake nor coral;
But a righteously moral
Rednecked yellow-backed tattler.
--- MrMalo

Mr Starr, just listen to this;
Not to say so would make me remiss.
You should start in the shower
To recover your power,
And I hope that you drown in your piss.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A fellow named Starr with few glitches,
Becoming a judge with big britches,
Stood straight and stood tall,
Respected by all,
But gave it all up to hunt witches.
--- Cyber Geezer

To our Chief of Inquisitors, Starr,
(Exceeds Torquemada by far)
I sent some stained briefs
Addressed "Sniffer-in Chief's,
G.O.P. Mercenary Bazaar."
--- Anon

I see you still call Starr "judge";
What a prick! He's an ass with a grudge.
From the way that it looks
In the History books,
Mister Starr will go down as a smudge.
--- MrMalo

Kenny don't know where it's at;
Like an asshole, he's chasing his hat.
He sets up a sting
To make Monica sing?
She has much better talents than that!
--- MrMalo

I couldn't care less who's Bill fucking,
Or who he persuades to keep sucking.
If the country's alright,
We're not in any plight;
Muzzle Starr and his unholy clucking.
--- S C Saint

Let look back on those things just a bit;
It shows that he's man of wit.
Much smarter by far
Than that dickhead Starr,
Who don't know not to step in shit!
--- MrMalo

"Harsh comments? Well, hell, I expect 'em.
Insults and jokes? I collect 'em.
Since Starr, that buttinski
Latched on to Lewinsky,
I'm getting it straight up the rectum."
--- Anon

We seem to have too many haters;
I wish they were just masturbaters.
Their observations are dull.
Their wit is plain null;
Starr's report to the incinerators.
--- Joe

Asked if I'd found the Starr Report groovy,
I said, "No, but that voyeur's a smoothy.
Completely audacious,
Distasteful, salacious,
But I just cannot wait for the movie."
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9811a

The Starr Report makes your blood freeze,
Waving graphic behaviors in the breeze.
No detail do they skimp,
Between Clinton and the blimp.
Now the Presidencey is on it's knees.
--- Frank Petersohn

The Starr Report is a tell-all.
The media is having a ball.
We'd like to be rid
Of the old Come-back Kid
Who does his best work 'gainst a wall.
--- Frank Petersohn

Bill wallowed in old Foggy Bottom
With a gal named Hillary Rodham.
But Ken the attorney,
Cut short their journey
When he said, "By George, we got 'em."
--- Popsicle TP9807

So we all read the report from Starr,
Saying Clinton went a bit far.
You silly old bloke,
Don't you know that you smoke --
After not during -- the cigar.
--- Misty Dragon

While the Clintons may claim it's incitement,
Ken Starr will soon cause much excitement.
Like the soldier of old
In the morning, he's bold...
He so much loves the smell of indictment.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Not once does the Starr report find
Him guilty of sex; are you blind?
Lying: 1-2-3-4,
Obstruction: five more,
Two others of some other kind.
--- John Miller

Perhaps Ken has gotten some proof
That he managed to stall all aloof.
Did Ken make those attacks
Without all the facts?
If he did, it's one hell of a goof!
--- MrMalo

The Starr report leaves us all reeling,
With its juicy details so appealing.
Will Monica write a book,
So we'll have another look?
Afraid so, I've got a sinking feeling.
--- Frank Petersohn

Miss Lewinsky, Miss Tripp and Ken Starr
Should be hung, all for going too far.
Miss Tripp screwed her friend,
And forsooth, in the end,
Ken and Monica paint us with tar.
--- K R Swift

Starr's Report was more silly than complex
(And killed privacy, balance and checks).
After all that had leaked,
We felt sorry we peeked,
And besides 'twas not even great sex!
--- Anon

I'll read the report, an all-nighter.
My mood will not be getting lighter.
Allegations untrue?
I'll leave it to you,
But Starr is a bad romance writer.
--- Frank Fazed

Tried to download the Ken Starr report,
But my wife wouldn't lend her support.
She told me with scorn,
"If you must download porn,
Then I'll laugh when they haul you to court!"
--- John Miller

Monica Lewinsky and Bill
Had sexual encounters until
Along came Ken Starr,
Who searched near and far,
Then made his report to the hill.
--- Gifford Wherry

The blame should not fall on the sleuth
If the facts turn out cheap and uncouth.
Ken Starr can't be faulted
If Bill feels assaulted.
Sounds like Bill is afraid of the truth!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Mr Starr's not the one to blame;
AGITPROP is just his chess game.
Unless get checks, mate,
Then his poor neck's fate
Is to be accused of the same.
--- Darryl

Ken Starr said, "There's too much at stake.
A career change right now's a mistake.
So recork your champagne
And let James off his chain.
"I'm staying for as long as it takes!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection

The heat is now on Jim Guy Tucker
'Though he thought each Arkansan a sucker.
'Cause he's anxious to walk,
To Ken Starr he may talk;
"Bend over -- I'm ready to pucker!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Uncle Bob doesn't think much of Starr
And he thinks the probe's gone way too far.
But it's hard to escape
All the stuff down on tape.
Clinton's lifestyle is simply bizarre!
--- Jim Weaver Collection


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