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Grad student Edwin H. Hall,
So excited, he'd bounce off the wall,
Said, "This brand new effect
Causes charge to deflect,
Given current and B-field -- that's all."
--- Daniel Koon

An electronic scheme promised lots
From coherently joined nanodots.
But when Coulomb blockaded,
The gadgets abraded,
And converted their white noise to shots.
--- Peter Price

Her waveguide goes into F mode.
My cavitron soon will explode.
The flux is so great
We demodulate.
But not before melting a load.
--- H Welchel

The lust an electron's genetics,
Will show for a proton's aesthetics,
Is the quantum response
To 'vivre la difference!'
But, to us its electromagnetics.
--- Alex Heydon P0406

I once built a stereo amp.
I switched on, my palms were damp.
No bang! What the heck,
I'll plug in the deck.
I did it! Aren't I a champ!
--- Tiddy Ogg

I put on an old 45,
To which I once used to jive.
The tone was divine,
Like sweet sparkling wine;
I really was coming alive.
--- Tiddy Ogg

The record came to a stop.
Then off to the amp I did hop.
There was a strange smell.
Oh Shit! Bloody Hell!
Smoke's pouring out of the top.
--- Tiddy Ogg

That thing never worked again.
I threw it right out in the rain.
With soldering, I'm done;
It's no bloody fun,
When your efforts go up in flame.
--- Tiddy Ogg

Electrons once wanted to mate
In a superconducting s-state...
As they circled around,
Was isotropy found,
Or was d-wave their ultimate fate?
--- Barbara Levi

When her circuits she find out of sorts,
Her electrician strongly exhorts
That her cares will be brief;
He can bring quick relief
By deftly removing her shorts.
--- Bob Giandomenico P8802

Miss Farad was pretty and sensual
And charged to a reckless potential,
But a rascal named Ohm
Conducted her home --
He decline was, alas, exponential.
--- A P French PR9703

The blood of a miner named Gorth,
Was loaded with iron -- one fourth.
So his prick when erected,
By the poles was affected,
And he only could fuck facing North.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2089A

Implicit in Maxwelll's equations
Are truly important relations.
While fields are unchanged,
Potentials may range,
Distinguished by guage transformations.
--- Bruce Elliot

I'm workin at this fine power station
Looking at all the illumination.
From lightning up high,
This thundering sky
Is now causing me great vexation.
--- Lightbulb

You see, I have just the worst luck;
When born, with lightning I was struck.
And ever since then
I'll never know when...
Ah, I now see the light. OH FUCK!
--- Lightbulb

It's so sad. We'd finally gotten
To like you, Lightbulb. Yes it's rotten
That you took a jolt
From a lightning bolt.
Again...You'll be quickly forgotten.
--- Carol

Your admission is so full of spice,
It required me to cool off in ice.
But I feel some dejection
As I think in reflection,
Could it be that lightning will strike twice?
--- Anon

A young electrician called Sparks
Held a wire and made some remarks.
Which repeated, I hear,
Were not fit for the ear,
But they meant it was live. I've got marks!
--- Arthur Pattaffy

Maxwell had much time to think,
While dipping his pen in the ink.
Today's computations
With Maxwell's equations,
Don't leave you the time for a wink.
--- Amikam Aharoni

"In a year and a half," says young Moore,
The speed of transistors will soar,
And eighteen months later,
T'will be even greater"
Beyond that, though, I dare not keep score!"
--- Norman Storer P0211

This fact you should know evermore,
(The formula comes from Ohm's Law)
Overcome all resistance,
Learn by persistence
That V = I x R.
--- Keith Johnson P9204

When using potentials, effective,
Remember the one main objective;
The goal is to shun
All dimensions but one.
And then view things with 1-D perspective.
--- David Morin

My brother likes lying in hammocks;
My sister likes doing ceramics;
But I get my kicks
From all the neat tricks
In quantum electrodynamics.
--- Kay R Devicci

A radio ham living in Brent,
In time his equipment all bent.
If there was a strong breeze,
He'd upset local bees,
And his signals returned as they're sent!
--- Arthur Pattaffy

An electrical dealer from Distance
Said, "Ma'am, can I be of assistance?"
But he got quite a shock
When she took off her frock
And said, "Will you test my resistance?"
--- Harold C Bibby

When crossing your vectors at school,
You'll use your right hand as a tool.
But look in the mirror,
And then you'll see clearer.
You could just use the left-handed rule.
--- David Morin

While trimming the tree with the tinsel,
Adjusting the lights was essential.
So I took hold of the wire
And started a fire,
Because there was so much potential.
--- Roma

Our bouyant new physics instructor
Has found a new superconductor.
He shouts, "The Tc
Is room temp -- do you see!?"
While afloat on a magnetic inductor.
--- Jonathan P Dowling

A electrical expert named Clark,
Tried sparking a girl in the park;
Watt he did she resisted,
"Take me ohm," she insisted,
"In bed where I best strike an arc."
--- Ed Potts P8503

There once was a man named Transistor;
His wife was away and he missed her.
A girl made a play,
But he said "No way!"
'Cause he had the power to resist her.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A bright engineering assistant,
Claimed nature to be insconsistent.
When he probed a Miss Ohm,
In the lab of his home,
He found she was quite unresistant.
--- Pierce Evans

Said that famous old physicist Volta,
"My dry cells put out quite a jolt-a.
When I throw this switch,
All your muscles will twitch.
If you were a chicken, you'd molt-a."
--- A P French

The thermo exam was quite near-o
And he thought everything was quite clear-o;
"Why study this junk,
I'm sure I won't flunk."
But they gave him an Absolute Zero.
--- Kay R Devicci PR9703

This is file unl

A couple of young guys in Boulder,
Cooled their gas cloud down colder and colder.
Then with much exhortation,
They hit Bose Condensation,
And beat out their rivals (much older).
--- Jonathan P Dowling PR9703

There once were two chemists with zeal;
These guys, Boyle and Charles were for real.
They combined their gas laws,
Which we know to have flaws,
'Cause their gases weren't really ideal!
--- Anon

There was a young man named Carnot
Whose engine was best in the show.
With enough fuel to burn,
It gave work every turn,
And heat went from high T to low.
--- Ronald K Wangsness

A scientist, showing no mirth,
Said, "If I owned all of the Earth,
I'd give all I've got
For a single good shot
At the goof who gave cold fusion birth."
--- James Randi A

McHumbug maintains the delusion,
That soon we'll be getting cold fusion.
For two weeks he's strove,
With an old pot on the stove,
To detect neutron flux in profusion.
--- Jonathan P Dowling

Put palladium down in a pot,
Add water and see what you've got!
Cold fusion, said some;
Most turned down a thumb:
The studies showed clearly it's not.
--- Barbara Levi

The physicist made an intrusion,
On a conclave that dealt with illusion.
"This meeting, by far,
Would be better to tar
And feather the ghost of cold fusion."
--- James Randi A

Dr Grumble's goat roast wasn't thawed;
So he called his wife's housekeeping flawed.
"It's not lack of skill,"
Screeched she, turning shrill,
"It's the size of the thing, you clod!"
--- Peggy Coquet

I set out to measure how heat
Is conducted by chunks of lamb's meat.
But wait -- Hold the phone!
I left in the bone!
So now I'll fillet and repeat.
--- Dov Weinstock

There was a young maiden from Wright
Whom no one could ever ignite,
For she was made
For Degees Centigrade,
And they were all Fahrenheit.
--- Lims Unlimited

Gabriel Daniel Fahrenheit
Was certainly no acolyte
Of Celcius' guage --
It just made him rage
And use much jargon impolite.
--- Timothy Torkildson

It really is not the humidity
But the heat that produces torridity;
And no matter what's said
About people in bed,
It is cold that produces frigidity.
--- Limber Limericks

For ages the hearth's celebrated;
Its warm comfort made chilled folk elated
Pets, too, found heat good
Snugly stored in the wood,
To be later, by flame, liberated.
--- Esther Koch P0201

Raised on the old sod, just by chance;
Took things lightly; had no yen to advance.
With no child, wood, or coal,
Home was a hidey hole
Still it was cozy; peat came from kind aunts.
--- Esther Koch P0201

According to R. Mascheroni:
With mutton, if not with baloney,
The meat can't be beat
For conduction of heat --
As long as it's boneless, not boney.
--- Nadine Fiedler

The constants related to heat,
For cooking or freezing the meat,
Of a sheep or a lamb,
(Per degree and per gram)
Are determined and published. How neat!
--- Steven Hall

In Fairbanks there blew a big storm;
The temperature dropped below norm.
To his car ran young Mose
With hot water, which froze,
And so quickly, the ice was still warm.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2805a

Pre-revolutionary War,
Insulation was very poor.
I'm digging it out
With quite a big pout;
My arms are becoming most sore.
--- Anon

I know this is what I should do,
But it is a total yuck stew
Of corncobs and bats,
With jars, old felt hats;
Dead mice I cannot but eschew.
--- Anon

There once was a physicist, Watt,
And great were the marvels he wrought.
If you get a letter --
To open it better
Make sure that the kettle is hot.
--- Irving Superior P9707

To his colleague, James said, "I've a thought.
Tell me please--do you like it or not?
Let's relate working force
To the strength of the horse!"
But his friend, unimpressed, said, "So, Watt."
--- William N Nesbit P9707

A Yukon Professor quite quizzical
Liked studying properties physical.
He was very bold;
The weather was cold.
When he pissed, all he got was a whizzicle.
--- Phillip Devicci a

Before lifting your lamb from the pot,
Better see if it's frozen or not.
Though a sheep that can bleat
Will create its own heat,
A deceased one must cook to get hot.
--- Leila Z Hadj-Chikh

A young physicist, surnamed deMurk,
Had tough duties he never would shirk.
His research, near to zero,
Almost made him a hero,
But he never could warm to his work.
--- Stanley Bashkin

Watt's dream was the cream of steam engines.
Instead we get trains with a vengence.
A lot of hot air,
And 'Travelers Fare',
Was this his invention's intentions?
--- Bill Greenwell

Wee Jamie, a canny young Scot,
Observed, when the kettle was hot,
That the steam raised the lid,
And it's thanks to this kid
That you and I know Watt's watt.
--- Joyce Johnson

When the temperature's forty degrees
Below zero, coversion's a breeze.
From the Fahrenheit scale
To the Celsius, they'll
Show an equal amount of hard freeze!
--- Prof M-G TP9901

Up the ladder went Celsius in fright,
And he shook in great fear at his plight;
For the more he went higher,
The more he'd perspire --
He did not very well fare in height.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 P8511

Men vary in rates they acquire
New thoughts to fulfill their desire.
By exertion of wit
Some men, atoms have split,
While in Watts, some have learned about fire.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 P9708

The scientist, Wernher von Keating,
Told how to save fuel at a meeting.
To get gas we must leach
A political speech,
And consume it for cooking and heating.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 P9708

From Centigrade to Fahrenheit--
I never seem to get it right.
And now a plus,
There's Celsius.
So which hot time will I have tonight?
--- Irving Superior P9707

When Dolly, deboned and just meat,
Was frozen, then set on re-heat,
80 Celcius they saw,
Was the range of the thaw,
And conducive to mint -- quite a treat!
--- Best

Thermal characteristics of mutton,
Scientifically pegged by some glutton,
But at plus 40 C,
It's still too cold for me.
Risk scrapies? I'd rather eat nuttin'.
--- K D Withrow

Tocci, Flores, and Mascheroni
Had mutton which was not too bony.
They applied some heat
And measured the meat,
And did all that thermo baloney.
--- Bruce Vrana


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