A certain young woman named Monica So Monica's going to rat, Monica has lost weight, and how! Mr Clinton's a hardworking guy, She's a wily young thing, there's no doubt; Monica tells all to the press, There is a president named Bill, Said Monica, feeling quite chipper, "It's backwards!" the alien said, puzzled. Lewinsky's not looking too glum, Pain in the ass was the sentiment, For Christmas I wanted to go We all know Kaczynski is nuts, Monica, as good as you get, Through his door I heard a loud groan, Oh, Bill, please say it's not true, Being Prez is one hell of a prize, The definition of sex you can see By his wife, for much blithery flack, There once was a young man from Hope, The president proved he could gauge Little Monica Lewinsky Some people really try hard to please. At a gathering on Clinton's behalf, As we strove to have rhyme-it controlled; Last night's TV gave me a kick; He pissed on Monica too? At Monica's future I frown, (Andy Warhohl - everyone will be famous 15 minutes)
More and more complex it becomes. Said the President to the intern, So Monica's said she will talk, We've all heard about "L'affair Lewinsky", Did our Bill have sex with Lewinsky?
This is file umm
This trash is starting to get smelly; I hope you will not tire soon, Hillary said, "Are you having a fling Monica may say t'was a hoax; (sounds like immunity to me - McW)
Miss Monica, that cute little raver, It started on Capitol Hill Smirked Clinton, that frolicking pup, I'm sorry this lim is quite risque, There once was a girl from VanMeter; Needing help in the form of a greeter, A Polish gal interned for Bill, Lewinsky and Bill had some fun, Monica naked you say! The President's pecker grew long, Let's hear more of the Monica relationship. Young Monica's surely quite sad; Said Clinton, "Please don't tell the Mrs. Now that the whole world has trashed her, Though Monica may be Willy's bane, There is a mad bomber, Kaczynsky, Monica looks like a turd, An intern named Monica, 'tis said, A final word on Monica. Now here comes a long married lover I just want to say from the start Monica may be down the road; There once was a girl named Lewinsky Monica's heard from Bob Guccione, Is Monica ANTHROPOPHAGUS?' The girl was a bit starry eyed. (Monica Lewinsky)
No matter what comes of her fate, Bill's mood now is not very sunny. Monica's been through the ringer,
Says the Prez was really quite fond of her.
She'll forever be linked
With Bill Clinton's dink,
As much as menorahs with Hanukkah.
--- Possum P9803
Like the proverbial spoiled little brat.
They'll turn Carville loose
And he'll cook her goose.
Then she'll look like something you shat.
--- Puff Adder
She looks less like a Holstein cow.
The secret to lost pounds
Is not out of bounds.
She's putting less in her mouth, now.
--- Anon
But he paused when Lewinsky came by,
Saying, "Please give me more of this
Sweet Oval Orifice --
Won't you eat lunch 'on the fly'?"
--- Stargazer P9803
Says the Prez gave her plenty of clout.
As an intern, while hugging,
And later on bugging,
Conversations that made Hillary pout!
--- Ystap T9801
What Bill did is still just a guess.
But we'll all soon find out
What the Pres is about
To do, to bail out of this mess!
--- Ystap T9801
With a liberal wife named Hill.
She will not bake a cookie,
And will give him no nookie,
But he knows that Monica will.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
As she undid the President's zipper,
"Well, it seems pretty clear
That what we have here
Is a lot more that Al feeds to Tipper.
--- Jim Schaefer P9803
"On my world, the intern would be guzzled.
Here the intern's the eater --
But only his peter --
And it's critics the public wants muzzled!"
--- John Miller
'Cause she's put in an order for some
Of the out-takes
Of the imprints she makes.
She says, "Someday my prints will come."
--- Irish
Without a Monica condiment,
But I'd have preferred
Word use were demurred,
In favor of euphemistiment.
--- Daniel Ford
Back to my old job, but you know,
As an intern I'm spent,
'Cause this new president
Had a new definition of blow.
--- Anon
But Lewinsky is Queen of the Sluts.
Her slightest mention
Gets the press's attention,
Absolutely no ifs, ands, or butts.
--- Frank Petersohn
At least did not wear a LABRET,
Or Willy'd be sore,
As she knelt on the floor,
And etched tender tool there, you bet!
--- Chris Papa
While Monica was down on his bone.
It just makes me sick;
My intern won't suck MY dick;
He won't even answer the phone!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
This stuff about you and Ms. Lew.
"My peenie is bent,
Instead of coming, I went.
You can't even call that a screw."
--- M David Tilson
So don't be too hard on these guys.
With four years to wait
The loser will hate,
Not hearing sweet Monica's sighs.
--- Frank
Is why Clinton is copping a plea.
"My lawyers concur
I had no sex with her,
While Monica had sex with me."
--- Thomas M Patton P9901a
Bill's bottom was spanked at the back,
And told, "Don't trust a girl
With big hair in a curl,
And kneepads and a tongue slithery!" - WHACK!
--- Anon
Who didn't inhale on his dope.
But Monica Lewinsky,
She made him feel frisky,
But now he does nothing but mope.
--- Gordon D Duffus
The moment to strike out in rage.
His "Wag the Dog" spin's key
To pushing Lewinsky
Right off of our nation's front page.
--- Anon
Got a dribble or two on her chinsky.
Now Bill's in hot water
As quite well he oughter,
For giving her the old out and insky.
--- Jeff T9801
One prompted a new word -- Lewinskys.
She grew up, some might say,
But it was just yesterday
She crawled around on her hands and knees.
--- Al Bienstock
They shared a quick hug and a laugh.
Someone heard him say,
"I like your beret,
And I think I'd like you on my staff."
--- Bluebird
We didn't "ask not," we Donne broke the mold.
In the spirit of fun,
We assure everyone
It was Clinton on whom the belle told.
--- Esther Koch
Lewinsky was doing a shtick.
She's a nervy young dame
'Cause her one claim to fame.
Is her work on the president's dick.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0308
Not only on me and on you...
And every state,
His daughter and mate,
And anyone else he could screw.
--- John Miller
Even though she's had world renown.
She's had her fifteen.
(Andy knows what I mean.)
From here she can only go down.
--- Rusty Smith
Just where were Ms Monica's gums?
Does Hillary's gay plight
Give Willie the right
To go for some clandestine comes?
--- M David Tilson
"It's not only for you that I yearn,
It is merely that you
Were the first in the queue;
I'll get 'round to the others in turn."
--- Richard Long
In return, she'll most certainly walk.
It looks bad for Bill,
I'm sure he feels ill,
It'll teach him to padlock his pork.
--- Andrew Walker BBC
Now it's "Testimony Plans Contingency".
But, if Kendall and Ruff
have got the right stuff,
Then they could save this Presidency.
--- David A Brooks Q
The Repubs sure would like to convince me
That Clinton spent Hanukah
Playing his whore-Monica --
A mouth organ fit for Nijinski!
--- Writerman P9803
I can't believe what's on the telly.
Without stains on her suit,
Will the point become moot?
Or will Starr want to pump out her belly?
--- MrMalo
Of the Willy and Monica tune;
Their trysts historic
Feed rhymes sophomoric.
I trust you won't bust that balloon.
--- Chris
With that thong-snapping, interney thing?
I saw stuff on your fly."
Bill said, "That's a damn lie!
A conspiracy of the right wing!"
--- William N Nesbit P0209
The joke was on all of you folks.
Now that she has the paper,
She's now free to caper;
So much for Starr's masterstrokes.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
When asked which dance she did savor,
Said, "I was in clover
Doing the Bossanova,
But was 'tripped' doing the boss a favor."
--- H Myers
That the right went in for the kill,
Starr fell from the sky,
As slick Willie slid by,
And Monica went on the pill!
--- Bob Birch P9803
"Now Monica, this is no gup:
I don't ask you to lie,
We can fuck eye to eye.
And come to a boil standing up."
--- Armand E Singer P9808
But Willy is terribly frisky.
Now his Starr-crossed lover
Has been flushed from her cover,
He should stick to his Arkansaw whiskey.
--- Andrew Walker BBC
Her parents named her Fonda Peter.
If she were an intern,
She would so gladly learn
To play the game, swallow the leader.
--- Gearhart
Bill thought that the page looked much sweeter.
So with finger on chin,
Bill said with a grin,
"Let's play 'swallow the leader'!"
--- FGO TP9802
And soon she was eating her fill.
Said her friend, "Don't you fear
That some trouble is near?"
Said the girl, "No, I'm taking the Pill."
--- David Finley
But 'twas something they shouldn't have done;
Now Monica's speaking,
The story is leaking,
And Clinton is under the gun.
--- Cap'n Bean P9812
I think I'll just wait till they play
The White House tapes
Of the oral rapes,
When Ken Starr leaks them some day.
--- MrMalo
When he saw Monica's new thong.
He saw her tits too,
In her dress of blue;
Tell me how that could be wrong?
--- N S Pierce
The gory details have us in it's grip.
The story's a scorcher.
Dems cry, "Water Torture".
But, it's Bill who's the big drip, drip, drip.
--- David A Brooks Q
She knows that Bill Clinton's a cad.
There isn't a doubt
That he waves it about,
And he must be as old as her dad!
--- Peter W
About Monica and of her kisses.
Sure I'll parse every phrase
For the rest of my days;
I defy you to say just what is is."
--- Tom Patton
We'd like to know which one is faster:
Ken Starr with subpoenas
Or Bill and his penis.
If Ken plays it right, he can ask her.
--- MrMalo
And the media gives us a pain,
What I wonder
Amid all the thunder,
Is -- just who stands to gain?
--- Ron Graves A
And a tawdry intern, Ms. Lewinsky.
One blows you to hell;
One blows and won't tell!
I know to whom I'd give my room key.
--- Hungarian a
Which is just a four-letter word.
Why Bill would pick her
Causes my mind to blur.
(Notice I never used the F-word?)
--- S C Saint
Was quite good at giving Bill head.
When the country found out,
The Prez he did shout,
"I wish I had jacked-off instead!".
--- Jim Weaver Collection
She ought to change her moniker,
Then into music go.
And practice how to blow
A horn (French) or harmonica.
--- Irving Superior
To tatter poor Monica's cover.
He said that she bragged
On the Leader she shagged.
What else do you think we'll discover.
--- Frank Fazed
That Monica Lewinsky's a tart!
She's had our old Billy
By the balls and the willy,
And so with cash he'll have to part.
--- Funny Bone
In this case she's the focal node.
He could be in deep shit
If he diddled her clit,
While she huffed away on his choad.
--- MrMalo
Who did the Presidential Bobinsky.
She gave Walters a grin: (Barbara Walters, pundit)
"I'd do it again,
If that Ken Starr weren't such a butinsky."
--- Terry Hopkins
That open shirt, balding, big phoney.
Who said, "Here's two mill,
To pose for a still,
But then you must eat my baloney."
--- Frank Fazed
Zoftig young woman just off a bus,
In mode appealing,
Standing or kneeling,
Or even up there, on top of us?
--- Daniel Ford
To get near to the lecher, she tried.
In the web, she's now caught
Over trinkets he bought.
Now wonder she's fit to be tied.
--- Frank Fazed
When Monica told what she ate.
She assured her face
A prominent place
In history as "Forni-gate."
--- MrMalo
Says he, "I don't consider it funny!
So let's hear no more of this;
I gave at the orifice;
But Monica's collecting the money!"
--- Anon
For diddling Bill Clinton's stinger.
But in Romania they say,
She must stay away,
Unless she does all, then we'll bring 'er.
--- Anon