A physicist whose mind was impaired, There's a law that just simply can't be A four-footer, a really thin runt, (E = M c**2)
A famous equation will loom After swallowing radium, Miss Errant An atom that came from the tap FDR: Nuclear things might be bad. In physics, the subject was fission, A Latin grammarian, Priscian, They say they've got nuclear fusion 'Twas a brilliant informed decision, The power of M's and C-squares Vacation wherever you please (contaminated by Chernobyl)
"In case of The Bomb," Colonel Nye, A handsome young man with blue eyes (Lee DuBridge to Ernest Lawrence on winning Nobel Prize)
Beware of the plasma fanatics; Population growth always vexed Tom, The chemist heaved a long sigh, When man his good senses deployed, When atoms meet atoms and fuse, There once was this young man named Gant, A Danish professor named Bohr A "nuke" power station near Bradley India blew up a device. Brahmastras, a Vedic fire-bomb -- "How nice that they both have The Bomb," "Just think of the carnage to be," "Is it Hindus and Muslims who fight "It really will be quite a show. "Millions killed, millions maimed and dismembered; "With luck then the conflict will spread "Oh, I do think you're so very clever! It's so hard to sit here and watch 'em,
This is file ukl
India thinks the A-bomb's just swell. Pakistan matches their Indian brothers It seems that our leaders deplore "I married her just for a lark," A babe met a guy from Wyomium, Her lips were now made of uranium, As the number of string theories shrinks, Super-Symmetry just like IIA. Super-Symmetry 'twixt force and matter; There's also HO and HE Super-Symmetry twixt matter and force; First start with a little boson There was a professor of Chatham When a neutron is shot from the sun, A scientist working in Greece Photons in pairs have a quality An optic professor named Mullers Dr Young was having a fit. An astronomer's swift limousine, The astronomer's face shifted green There was a young atom in Hell There was a young lassie named Laser, A man grinding lenses in Guelph A paint mixer took some light blue; To Michelson and E. W. Morley The multiport is a thing nefarious. The experiment of Michelson and Morley The physics of optical fibers Is light a particle or wave? A young child looked up in the sky, The sky has a beautiful hue; There once was a quantum optician A grating can lead to a blur (Novel soliton solutions in Rowland ghost gaps)
Said, "Eureka, I am now prepared
To spread news far and wide,
Without ego or pride,
That E equals M C squared."
--- Al Willis TP9804
About time and space fantasy.
But Albert Einstein
Theorized it just fine,
Because E over M is squared C.
--- Anon
Had a cock that was short, thick, and blunt,
With a very flat head:
Tetrahedral, he said.
"Ecstasy equals squared mini-cunt!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
As a constant reminder of doom.
For E, as we feared,
Equals m c (when squared).
Who'll be first to square what, and with whom?
--- Bill Backe-Hansen P8506
Said, explaining her deed so aberrant,
"If approached in the park,
Now I'll glow in the dark,
For I'm armed with a nuclear deterrent!"
--- Vasser W Smith Lib Lim
Had electrons all over its map.
But in its interstices
Lurked a much worse disease:
Decay and a permanent zap.
--- Robert Resnick
I could hold it for study a tad.
The risk to the race
Is so hard to face.
But he didn't and we are all glad.
--- Carl A Benz
Soporific, the lecturer's vision.
The student woke with a start,
And from the room he did dart,
For he'd had a nocturnal emission.
--- John Miller
Once had a nocturnal emission;
It began with a fart
That near tore him apart --
The first case of nuclear fission.
--- Armand E Singer 386
Bottled up in a simple solution;
We've heard this before;
I'm guessing it's more
Media hype and confusion.
--- Dr Limerick 03-04-02
Getting power from nuclear fission.
It would be even smarter
That William J Carter
To accomplish the fusion collision.
--- Nawahl
Provides us with just cause for scares.
Our childhood fright
Of a bump in the night,
Is now mushrooms from nightmarish prayers.
--- Carl A Benz
For a place with a warm sunny breeze.
And avoiding the sun
Kiev is the one...
Cloudy -- 4000 degrees.
--- Jay Marshall P8607
"Sit down with your hands on your thigh.
Now bend forward low
As far as you'll go,
And then kiss your keister goodbye."
--- Irving Superior P8406
Built an atom-machine of great size.
When asked why he did it,
He blushed and admitted,
"I was wise to the size of the prize."
--- Lee Dubridge P0303
They're prone to a fusion of antics,
That generate heat
When hydrogens meet
With magnetohydrodynamics.
--- Bruce Elliot
And his spirit was never quite calm
Until Malthus heard
The encouraging word
Concerning the nuclear bomb.
--- A N Wilkins P8702
When his filtrate was finally dry.
But an unstable fraction,
In a quick chain reaction,
Formed a mushroom cloud five miles high.
--- Jonathan P Dowling
Then smallpox no longer annoyed.
There's a much better plan
Which will benefit man --
When the last atom bomb is destroyed.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2961
There's part of their mass that they lose.
The emitted article
Is not only a particle,
But a wave -- and you don't get to choose.
--- Chuck Baggett
Who worked hard in a nuclear plant.
He died six months later
A real 'hot-potater'
And his grave stone still glows brilliant!
--- Laurence Craft
Thought atoms had a nuclear core,
"A plum pudding raisin
Would scatter just grazing,
Not like sine to the negative four!"
--- John Woodward
Wanting better publicity badly,
Sent reply-cards: "Come, learn!
Tick a date and return!"
Those who went, came back ticking madly.
--- Carl Ludvig Kjelsen P8701
Pakistan said, "That's not nice,"
Then blew up their own.
They wanted it known
That India should have thought twice.
--- Frank Spectra
Don't know what it's called in Islam.
But one thing I know,
This stand-off could blow,
And set off a righteous pogrom.
--- H Welchel
The alien said with aplomb.
"With just a few flashes,
They'll top all the clashes
We've watched since before Vietnam."
--- John Miller
Said the alien, winking at me.
"If their hate doesn't fizzle
Tens of millions will sizzle --
What a pleasant thing for us to see.
--- John Miller
To prove to each other who's right?
Gentle Christians and Jews
Should horn in with their views,
And some more from the left and the right.
--- John Miller
Do you think the arms merchants will know
They've themselves to thank
When their children grow lank,
Suffused with a soft bluish glow.
--- John Miller
Cities blazing, homes burned, charred and embered.
And you do it because
You must all serve the cause...
(If indeed it is ever remembered.)
--- John Miller
Until every last human is dead.
Then it won't be a sin
To quickly move in...
Or maybe cockroaches instead.
--- John Miller
I knew you were smart but I never
Did quite realize
You could sterilize,
Cleansing your own world forever.
--- John Miller
As their missile launchers, they notch 'em.
They'll leave a huge dent
In their subcontinent,
If we don't pray Dona Nobis Pacem!
--- Irish
With Pakistan this does not sit well.
While the world said no,
They decided to show
That they can blow each other to Hell.
--- FB
In the bomb race that some would smother.
But I think it's good;
It should be understood;
It's less likely they'll attack each other.
--- Puff Adder
The threat from the power plant core.
So they build in devices
For preventing the crisis,
While preparing for nuclear war.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2539
This Russian was heard to remark.
"Now she's my wife
And delight of my life;
Since Chernobyl, she glows in the dark."
--- Jay Marshall P8607
Whose jewels were made out of plutonium.
While getting some ass,
They reached critical mass;
She lamented, "I should have just blownium!"
--- John Griffin
And with them, she drove him insanium.
Like nuclear fission,
She caused an emission,
And a meltdown occurred in his branium.
--- Kaylin
We toss out those weird missing links.
And with the bath water
Perhaps some we oughter
Save in boxes beneath our sinks.
--- Arthur Deex
Again only closed strings we essay.
Still no tachyons;
Yet the massless fermions,
Being chiral, spin only one way.
--- Arthur Deex
But of open/closed strings just the latter.
And there's no tachyons
But there's massless fermions,
Spinning both ways with nonchiral clatter.
--- Arthur Deex
Like a model railway you'll agree.
They are both heterotic
(Which sounds quite exotic)
The key here is Group symmetry.
--- Arthur Deex
Both open and closed strings of course.
Tachyons we shuns
And with ten dimensions,
It's SO(32) group symmetry we endorse.
--- Arthur Deex
And exclude the pesky fermion;
No matter, just things
Open/closed called strings,
And imaginary mass, a tachyon.
--- Arthur Deex
Who had an affair with an atom.
The result of coition
Was nuclear fission...
There was a profesor of Chatham.
--- Hugh Oliver 68a
It displaces a proton by one.
Now nitrogen's green
'Cause carbon 14
Replaced him, that son of a gun!
--- Tom Campbell
A wondrous report did release.
He developed at last
A big bomb with a blast
So great, it was used just for peace.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2605
With no regard for reality,
When on paths that don't meet,
They non-locally beat,
Testing a Bell inequality.
--- Michael Reck
Revealed to his class over crullers,
"By shooting my gism
All over the prism,
I can come in the primary colors."
--- Steve
His optics had developed a slit.
"My grant will not pay,
So I'll use it this way."
And you know the rest of this bit.
--- Devlin Gualtieri
Went through a red light in Racine.
He was going so fast,
That the light which he passed,
Through the Doppler effect, showed as green.
--- Anon A
When he passed the red light in Racine.
'Twas a light on the door
Of the house of a whore,
Replaced by that fucking machine.
--- Neal Wilgus P8211
With a vacancy in an inner shell.
An electron high above
In his heavenly love,
Saw the hole, and in it he fell.
--- Bunnar Tibell
Who never let problems dephase her.
Never yielding coherence,
She kept up her appearance
By wearing a ruby red blazer.
--- Frank Moser
Reached up for some tools on the shelf.
He fell down between
The lens-grinding machine,
And a spectacle made of himself.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2608
Some light purple was added in, too.
When he stirred it up good,
Then he knew that he would
Have a hit. It's a mauve-elous hue.
--- Kirk Miller
Their theory explained rather poorly
Why the first beam, of light
Reached their eyepiece all right,
But the next one arrived just as early.
--- Daniel Koon
The ways of construction are various.
With phases and mirrors,
Bewaring of errors,
The setups we build are precarious.
--- Michael Reck
Allows us to say, very surely,
"If this ether is real,
It has no appeal,
And shows itself off rather poorly."
--- David Morin et al
Presents us with effects diverse,
That will pulses reshape,
Interference unmake,
With components that light does disperse.
--- Michael Reck
Corpuscular it seems to behave.
But through a double slit,
Interference does its bit,
Demonstrating that photons do quave.
--- Chris Matthews
And said, "It's so blue, Mom, but why?"
You see, blue scatters more
(There's this power of 4),
So it rarely comes straight to your eye.
--- David Morin et al
To scattering of light, it is due.
Long wavelengths like red,
Through air go unbled,
Leaving us seeing the blue.
--- Chris Matthews
Embarked on a ludicrous mission.
His goal was to show
That all photons are slow,
In spite of their massless condition.
--- Mike Lubell
When its lines cause some ghosts to occur.
It showed wriggles and bumps
And then also some lumps,
But reviewers have yet to concur.
--- Anon