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A young lady preacher from Dover, My church exists in Glamorgan, Well God moves without and within, The preacher this point must allow -- A prissy young preacher from Texas A potulent Preacher at Selwyn (Selwyn College of Cambridge)
Preached a preacher named Billy Bob Black, Alas, I'm a poor defrocked preacher I'm not very hungry you see, Forget that I mentioned a gift, There is a young preacher named Goffin An adventurous preacher for fun, There was an old preacher named Guff A preacher came spouting the gospel An experienced preacher named Marts A college in East Tennessee If you follow the preacher's advice, Please pity the preacher Magoo, A giddy young lass of Sesuit A rectitudinous preacher, A beer-swilling preacher named Drew, A deceitful preacher named Gibbon There once was a preacher named Purvis, Preachers lay on the hands? Oh how so? There was a fine preacher called Aaron, A degenerate Indian chief I sing of a preacher named Hugh When dealing with matters numerical, "In the Church of Our Lord," said the preacher, Observed a wise preacher named Drew, I recall an old preacher named Baer, She called the old preacher a roach, The lecherous preacher, so lusting, The pious old preacher named Smuts I picture us both by the fire; A prudish young preacher in Bude, A pious young preacher in Kent The preacher said, "No more undressin', Brother Connor, a preacher from Dooley, A Tennessee preacher named Hix Since the days of the Stowes and the Beechers, A tiger, deprived of a mate, To preachers, a fellow named Meyers A most devout preacher named Heaster After mass, an old preacher so quaint, At the church the new preacher of Wheeling Triple pun - hear bells peal; here belles peel
An odd sort of preacher is Strothers, There was a young preacher Italian There was an old preacher named Wiggers, (Wigroes) Don't just preach the word of the Lord, Defrocked was a preacher named Bridges, Said the preacher to naive Miss Todd, A born-again preacher and bigot A comely young medium, Miss Snaith, A lecherous preacher named Hurd A handsome gay preacher named Brock, There was an old preacher named Walter Let me tell you of Hessie the Hooker, "Hallelujah!" he yelled, "I'm a preacher! There once preached an old hierophant, (hierophant - advocate, priest)
There once was a preacher named Phil A most devout preacher named Lake A gorgeous voluptuous creature On a trip was the girl of young Beecher A crafty old preacher in Ray There was a licentious Lay Preacher (Is lay-preacher an oxymoron? Lay-priest is. - McW)
Would pray to the great god Jehovah.
But we'd not concentrate,
'Cause her big 38's
From the pulpit rail always hung over.
--- Anon
Run by a preacher named Morgan.
I go there each week,
To breathless to speak,
For I am obsessed with his organ.
--- Michelle
And Reverend Morgan is no exception.
When his reed starts blowing,
I know where I'm going,
'Cause what comes out is high proof gin!
--- Michelle
His head to the harlot must bow.
For she works hard in bed,
There to earn daily bread,
And it's earned by the sweat of her brow.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1428
Was impaled on a prurient nexus --
When he took down his pants
In a pissoir in France --
By a shaft up his posterior plexus.
--- Glenn F Baker
Said, "Don't let the forces of hell win;
If communion wine
With whiskey combine,
Men's love for pure spirit might well win."
--- Harold C Bibby
"Morality's what you all lack!
If in lust you are basking,
There's no harm at least asking,
'Oh Lord, won't you cut me some slack!'"
--- Bob Birch P0010
Who's willing to be your new teacher.
If you'd like me swift,
You could buy a gift,
Then surely I'll make you a screecher.
--- Anon
But there are some things that please me.
Go out and shoplift
An expensive gift..
What's that you say duh double D?
--- Anon
I'm finding a transport that's swift
To fly to your shore.
Please unlock your door,
I'll be there to loose your uplift.
--- Anon
Whose waterbed leaks all to often.
At such times he acts quick;
Plugs the leak with his dick;
Then prays that his pecker won't soften.
--- Michael Weinstein P9008
Bought a heap from a vestryman's son.
But the thing wouldn't go
Because he didn't know
The right words to make the car run.
--- A N Wilkins P9203
Who rarely got off of his duff,
Til a gal in the choir
Perchance did inquire
If his organ could handle her stuff.
--- Bob Birch
To me; how could he think it pospel.
My Rottweiler, Exit,
Chomped both of his legs; it
Ended with preacher in hospel.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Knows the evil that lurks in men's hearts,
Which makes them sin madly,
Kill innocents gladly,
And in packed elevators, let farts.
--- Armand Singer
Gave an honorary degree
To a preacher named Fiddle,
Who moaned, "Every kid'll
Now address me as Fiddle, D.D."
--- Casey Renn P8702
It can lead you to paradise.
If, in life, as you amble,
You should start to gamble,
You may end up with a pair o' dice.
--- Tom Patton P9606
Who couldn't sit still in his pew.
As everyone knew
The day'd come that he'd rue
When he covered his bottom with glue.
--- Anon
Fell in love with a lad from Cotuit.
Said the preacher from Wareham
Who proceeded to pair 'em,
"Sesuit, Cotuit, go to it!"
--- Conrad Aiken
Beheld a voluptuous creature.
With hormomes a-rage,
The tumid old sage
Could not hid his prominent feature.
--- Chris Papa
Unable to get to the loo,
Became madder and madder
At the bloat of his bladder
And finally pissed in a pew.
--- Armand E Singer 557
Said he was not guilty of fibbin',
But a liar's contest
Then declared him the best
And gave him the "First Place" blue ribbon!
--- Observer TP9901
Who made all the church members nervous.
For the sign at the door,
They couldn't ignore,
"No shirt, No shoes, No service."
--- Ron Sartain TP9804
Perhaps to a revival I'll go.
I'll find me a preacher,
Maybe one that can reach, or
Must I say? I think you know.
--- Robyn
Who lived by the Bible, and thereon
Would lecture with pleasure,
In moments of leisure,
To girls that he chose to lie bare on.
--- David A Brooks
For most Christians, held damned little brief.
He constructed a totem
From some poor preacher's scrotum,
In accord with his tribal belief.
--- Armand E Singer 289
(Professional skills, rather few);
Church attendance so meager,
Congregation not eager,
Which drove him to screaming, "Flock You!"
--- Armand Singer
Avoid interferences clerical;
For the preacher's phantasm
Is a mental orgasm,
Which results in solutions chimerical.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1063
"Praise God as be baptised the creature?"
But no thanks to Jesus,
He named me and sneezes!
And that's why my real name's "Letitia!"
--- David Miller
"We know of the evil men do,
But churches are built
By sinners with guilt,
And someone might raise my pay, too."
--- Armand E Singer 684
Who whenever indulging in prayer,
Would fall to his knees
Beseeching God, "Please
Let me keep my erections and hair."
--- Armand Singer P9811
And said that he needed a coach,
For he'd never be bishop
Till he learned how to dish up
A more varied and charming approach.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1022
Entraps the young ladies, so trusting.
In the Lord's Holy Name
He teaches them shame,
And that pleasure and joy are disgusting.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1056
This is file uim
Rejected the nun of St. Klutz
When she asked for a screw.
For he said, "If I do
I'm afraid I will pop off my nuts."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1089
Your pink breasts are filled with desire.
You shout "Hallelujah!
More power to ya'!
Come on baby! Preach to the choir!"
--- Dennis Taylor
Who everything lewd had eschewed,
Would gladly lie down
With his wife in a gown,
But thought it was rude in the nude.
--- Harold C Bibby
Admonished his wife to repent;
She took it all in,
And to expiate sin,
She gave up her husband for Lent.
--- Lims Unlimited
And there'll be no more sex, that's a lesson.
We'll read Bibles instead."
And the natives then said,
"Go get me my old Smith & Wesson."
--- Al Willis P9701
Would speak neither obscenely nor crudely.
Said his wife, "While it's true
He would never cuss you,
In the shower he sings rather lewdly!"
--- Anon
Found himself in a hell of a fix.
When he learned to his shame
That a code turned his name
Into six hundred sixty and six.
--- Martin Gardner
Some have claimed that the universe features
Three sexes, at least
For man though not beast:
Male and female, of course, and then preachers.
--- A N Wilkins P8706
Proceeded to master his bate.
A preacher ran in,
Accused him of sin,
And wound up on the cat's dinner plate.
--- Actaeon
Said, "Use your own blessings, my sires."
But they answered, "You'll find
They are only designed,
To be properly used by the buyers."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1059
Said, "Everything rises at Easter;
Not just our Lord J.,
This, too, let us pray,"
And shoved it clear up his wife's keister.
--- Armand E Singer 822
On his knees he prayed long to his saint.
Then he ate twenty cunts,
Four or five more than once,
Yet from hunger he fell in a faint.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1076
Gave the girls an oration with feeling.
When he showed them his dong
Over ten inches long,
All the bell(e)s in the church started pealing (peeling).
--- Jim Weaver Collection
A pervert far worse than the others.
With even a smidgeon
Of honest religion,
He'd never have raped both his brothers.
--- Armand E Singer 132
Who fucked an old harlot named Gallion.
He was so far transported
By her antics contorted,
That he gave her his holy medallion.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1040
Who withstood all African rigors (Rigroes)
For the rest of his life,
And gave up his wife,
For he wanted to cornhole some niggers. (Negroes?)
--- Albin Chaplin Appeal 718
Or folks'll grow restive and bored.
To add zip and spice,
Cultivate some rare vice --
Poontang farms or a Krugerand hoard.
--- Robin K Willoughby P8707
Whose prowess at sex was prodigious;
To assuage his desires
He would bugger whole choirs.
(His bishop fumed, "Quite irreligious!")
--- Armand Singer P9812
"Your ass you must lay on the sod.
Take this bible and pray,
And you'll feel right away
The magnificent scepter of God."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1099
Censored books using words such as "frigate."
With spirit-filled groanin'
He played as did Onan;
He prayed as he fondled his spigot.
--- Jim Jambor P9009
Conjured for the preacher a wraith.
When she tripped and fell over,
With his finger he drove her;
She was fucked by the finger of faith.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1090
Some doubts in a young maiden stirred.
As he patted her rear;
She had nothing to fear,
For he solemnly gave her his word.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1037
Who lusts after males in his flock,
Keeps mumbling beatitudes
And similar platitudes,
But makes most his converts with cock.
--- Armand E Singer 208
Who read to two nuns from his psalter.
He seduced novice Destry
On a chair in the vestry,
And the other he fucked on the altar.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1111
Who was not, truth to tell, a great looker.
But she put so much soul
Into baring her hole,
Even preacher conventions would book her.
--- Armand E Singer 588
God's servant, and what's more, a teacher.
I help young girls invent
Sins they can repent,
Which I think is a very nice feature."
--- John Miller 0253
On the subject of sex most adamant.
Anything that deterred
From sex was absurd.
"Fuck Thou" was his singular chant.
--- G2698
Who was caught with his hand in the till.
The bishop, auspicious,
Was clearly suspicious.
We're sure that he's doing it still.
--- Dave Leary P8502
Was more than a bit of a rake;
He'd pray, "If you could,
Dear God, make it good,
And as for the ground, let it shake."
--- Armand E Singer 708
Seduced a young Methodist preacher;
It worked out quite well,
For under his spell
This gal's now a Sunday-school teacher.
--- Linda Marsh Coll
And he was not able to reach her,
So on Sunday at church,
He conducted research
And proceeded to cornhole the preacher.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0902
Inviegled a choirboy one day
Way down in the crypt;
And when there were stripped,
He gently intoned, "Let us play."
--- Hugh Oliver A092B
Who, meeting a maid, would beseech her
To let no false pride
Interfere if he tried,
While laying on hands, to unbreech her.
--- Harold C Bibby
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