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The whole thing is much more depressin' "The commandments prohibit adultery," She was wearing a tight skimpy halter, There once was a priest named McGrath They had sex in the church with great poise; At the church fete, as treasures were raffled, There was an old priest of Lapeer; As he came in his chubby choirboy, There once was a priest of Gibralter, I thought I'd confess to my priest Confessing his penchant for dames, Because young people were taken in, "Oh Father! I have a confession! Said the priest to the hooker, "My dear, There was a most stupid Confessor, The priest in the dark wooden booth I went to confession today. Her father confessor confessed A priest set himself a great goal Step into a booth with a priest? A religious young lady named Pitts "I jerk off in the shower," said Dean Confession of wanking's not rare, "Oh Father! I have a confession! There once was a priest from Saint Cyr, "Friar Murphy", said young Sister Bridget, "God bless you, my daughter," he said, Inside the confessional box, Nympho Mary each week at confession, "Oh Father," said young Sister Bridget, "Oh, Father, I have a confession! A pretty young coed named Lynde, Oh, Father, forgive me, please do. Please Father, don't think me a whore, I really could fuck like a rabbit, There once was a priest from Saint Hessian A Catholic priest says he's the man For twelve years the poor kid's in jail; So who do we blame for this farce; An Irish priest from New Delhi At confession, a man named McGuinn The priest said, "It's alright, my son. I snuck into church the back way; You need only mention my name Said St. Peter, "I can't let you in", A thoughtful and sensitive priest, A priest, a disgusting old queer, (prie-dieu - pronounced pre-dee-er - low prayer table)
"You are old, Father Bill, you old goat, A big Catholic layman named Fox, The nun didn't want to be bred, What you need, Augustine, is sex toys; Who needs sheep when there's warm melon pulp. It There was an old priest of Jablonica, "You are old, Father William," the young A bashful young priest once, a Druid, We all adore dear Father Dunn; A pious old priest Father Lux Young Father O'Rourke had no shame; She gulped it down, cried "That was fine! A smile was on Father LaBrent, Father Clarence Bartholomew Case At confession a fellow named Locke An earthy old priest from Morocco, A society matron in Brighton SACERDOTAL need of altar boys There once was a choir boy named Walter On taking a roofie one night,
Than an extra long Sunday school lesson --
To a good boy's chagrin,
A bad priest will sin,
And count it as some kind of blessin'!
--- Brian Belge
Explained scholarly old Father Doug to me.
"So for sexual joy,
I employ a plump boy;
The commandments do NOT mention buggery."
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0211
And smiled as she knelt at the altar.
Father Tom said, "No way!
With you I won't play;
I'd rather do altar boy Walter."
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0211
Who would fuck anything in his path.
With speed most uncanny
He ravished the fanny
Of his granny bent over her bath.
--- G1003
The clergy made a terrible noise.
Their action was base
And in the wrong place;
That's reserved for priests buggering boys.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0209
All the proceeds were suddenly snaffled,
When auctioneer Jack
Joined a Priest in the sack,
Who sighed, "Your zipper, Jack, has me baffled."
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0510Q
A pious old man and austere.
He recited a psalm
Which would keep the sheep calm,
While he buggered the beasts from the rear.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1156
Father Burke said, "There's no greater Joy!
If no sodomy leavens
Any possible heavens,
Existence will merely annoy."
--- G1097
Used a Chinaman's ass for an altar.
He said, "Nostradamus!
My God! What an anus!
As he wiped off his cock on the psalter.
--- Tony Davie Collection
How the Devil had made me a beast;
But my sins weren't assuaged,
For I found him engaged
In a wild Bacchanalian feast.
--- Peter Wilkins
The reprobate confessed all his shames.
Said the priest "Was it Anne,
Lucy, Kate, or Suzanne?"
"No, but thanks for the leads on the names!"
--- Res Ipsa
The laity caused such a din;
Corrections at least
Were transferred to the priest,
Which, by Law, is a cardinal sin.
--- Tom Patton P0303
Prostitution's my chosen profession.
But please pardon my sin,"
She said with a grin,
"And I'll give you a half-price concession.
--- CyberCelt TP9804
Please step in the booth over here.
You say your confessions;
Detail your transgressions.
You'll probably be here all year."
--- MrMalo A
Who counselled each contrite transgressor,
"If you'll put an amount
In my private account,
You penance will be so much lesser."
--- Harold C Bibby
Was hearing confessions from Ruth;
As she spilled out her sins,
He would crack into grins,
In a manner expressly uncouth.
--- Cap'n Bean P0303
Father Sheamus said, "Pete, let us pray."
And, oh wondrous surprise
When I opened my eyes,
There before me, stark naked, stood Kay.
--- Peter Wilkins
That he always felt rather depressed
When listening in
To absolve her new sin,
And wanting to see her undressed.
--- Bill Backe-Hansen P9305
On a shoal he would like to control,
And get out of deep water.
He told a reporter,
Confession is good for the sole.
--- Bill Backe-Hansen P9305
Why he'd soon be having a feast!
Tell him all my sins?
Give him my Bingo wins?
The old sod just wants his pole greased!
--- Spuddie
Lets lechers ram home where she splits.
Later on, at confession,
She lists in succession
All the lewd, lustful acts she commits.
--- G1148
Through his church's confessional screen.
"Oh, dear," said the priest,
"That's a sin, but at least,
What's important is that you've come clean."
--- Jerry Nordal P0301a
So give the good Father a scare,
Which will turn him green.
Whisper through the screen,
"Is there toilet paper in there?"
--- Frank Fazed
I'm employed in the oldest profession!"
Abstinent for too long,
He pulled out his schlong,
And said, "Honey, come give me a lesson!"
--- Swordfish TP9806
Who love to get screwed in the ear.
He left with our blessing
Right after confessing;
He really could no longer hear.
--- David Miller
A-squirming and all of a fidget,
"I'm sorry to say,
And confess every day,
That I diddle myself with my digit."
--- Peter Wilkins
"I forgive you. There's nothing to dread."
(And he fingered his pole
As he thought of the hole
In the ceiling right over her bed.)
--- Peter Wilkins
Father Flanagan never wears socks.
The confessions of Bridget
Though cause him to fidget
And take off his vestments and jocks.
--- Peter Wilkins
Described in detail each transgression.
The good Father Hale,
Who absorbed every tale,
Washed his sticky shorts after each session.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0505
A-squirming and all of a fidget,
"I'm sorry to say
And confess -- every day
That I diddle myself with my digit."
--- Peter Wilkins
Sex has become my obsession!"
"Let's see just how bad
You've got it, my lad."
And he coaxed him into undressin'.
--- Marty TP9807
Said "Father, three times I have sinned,
As I played with my tit,
While I rubbed on my clit,
I came, and then pissed and passed wind."
--- Bob Birch P0303
'Twas only one innocent screw.
I know it's not right,
But it lasted all night.
Well, it actually lasted for two.
--- Bob Birch P0303
This is file ufm
But I think I will do it some more.
'Twas really great fun.
Forget I'm a nun.
If only my pussy weren't sore.
--- Bob Birch P0303
I'd do you, and the pope, and the abbot.
With sin I'm afflicted,
With sex I'm addicted,
I think I must give up my habit.
--- Bob Birch P0303
Who lived with his only transgression.
He thought it was neat
To pound on his meat
While hearing wild tales at confession
--- David Miller
Who leaves innocent kid in the can.
Knew the truth all along
But did not sing his song;
Religion like that needs a ban.
--- Tony Burrell
This injustice is to no avail.
When guilty man dies,
The priest he then cries,
Let him out or at least give him bail.
--- Tony Brasell
The priest who sat on his arse?
The kid was defiled;
The priest is reviled;
Into fires of hell, he'll be cast.
--- Tony Burrell
Tattooed "The Lord's Prayer" on his belly.
When along came a Brahmin,
Who read down to the "Amen",
And blew both salvation and Kelly!
--- Carl L Murray
Said, "Father, forgive me my sin.
I'm not gay, I'm straight,
But temptation is great.
And last night I blew it again."
--- Wiley
As long as it's not overdone."
We all have a quirk;
"For me," he said with a smirk,
"Altar boys are more fun than a nun."
--- S C Saint
(They've barred me for life and a day).
I got me some pix
Of priests blowing dicks.
The negatives? Send me my pay!
--- H Welchel
To receive a visit from same!
I'll bless you, my sons,
(And nibble your buns!)
And set your sweet parts all aflame!
--- Anon
To the priest who had goo on his chin,
"You've been chewing the dong
Of the Pope all year long;
Don't you know it's a Cardinal Sin?"
--- Peter Wilkins
Whose prayers and good works never ceased,
Went out for some fun
Cross-dressed as a nun
And became a ravening beast.
--- Jim Jambor P9009
Used to lick his choir-boys in the rear.
When they asked, "Is it right?"
He said, "Yes, in God's sight,
If you'll bend over this prie-dieu."
--- Anon
And small and so wrinkled your scrote,"
Said Susie, a-goggle,
Out spitting his toggle,
"But you still shoot a load down my throat."
--- Anon
Makes his living by sucking off cocks.
In spells of depression,
He goes to confession,
And jacks-off the priest in his box.
--- L0546
So the old priest just smiled and he said,
"It's really quite simple,
Just take off your wimple,
And give it a big kiss, instead."
--- Kaylin
Or perhaps try a few altar boys.
Stand up on the dais;
Put your cock in his face.
It is one of a priest's greatest joys.
--- Anon
Beats jasmine (so sweet I could gulp it)
But if left in a lurch
I can still sneak in church
And there have a Jack in the Pulpit.
--- John Miller
Cunt-struck was the poor bastard's monicker.
In the middle of Mass,
He grabbed a girl's ass,
And sucked her off like a harmonica.
--- G1118
Girl said, "and not very well hung;
But just to be fickle,
You surely can tickle
A girl with that extra long tongue."
--- Anon
Would run from a nun when pursued.
One kissed him with zest
Which left him distressed,
And he lost all his seminal fluid.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 G1103
Of secular traits has but one.
He is pius and meek
And for six days a week
Dines on meat but on Fridays eats nun.
--- Bob Giandomenico P8907
Gets a deal from a nun for ten bucks.
When he raises his gown,
The nun chants and goes down,
And his bible he reads while she sucks.
--- Albin Chaplin
During mass, pulled his dong out aflame.
Anna, nearest the pulpit,
Proceeded to gulp it;
"Hosanna!" he cried as he came.
--- Peter Wilkins
'Twas filled with the spirit divine.
I'll go really mooney on
This special communion,
Far better than bread and cheap wine.
--- Tiddy Ogg
For his wad had been heavenly spent
By Sister Louise,
Who was down on her knees.
He declared it a blessed event!
--- Cap'n Bean P0107
Has now swiftly resigned in disgrace;
For a photo's been spread
Of him lying in bed,
With young Sister Marie on his face.
--- Cap'n Bean P0505
Described to the priest in great shock
How a cunt he had sucked.
Said the priest, "I deduct,
For your sin, you must suck on my cock."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1053
Held a motto really quite macho.
He said, with a grunt,
"God decreed we eat cunt,
Why else would it look like a taco."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Used alum, her orifice to tighten.
But she could detect
A strange side effect;
Her confessor's dull teeth did it lighten.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0407
Is to perform as sexual toys.
This form of balling
Seems part of the "calling".
And has created considerable noise.
--- Norm Brust
Who was singing a hymn from his psalter.
Said good Father Greer
Who approached Walter's rear
"I'll plug in, so your voice doesn't falter."
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0211
The altar boy got quite a fright.
He was tied up and bound
And later was found,
With an asshole that wasn't as tight.
--- Big Nuts
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