A rabbi is now quite a hero.
He fiddled around just like Nero,
And jumped like a rabbit
Beneath a nun's habit.
And now she's a Mother Shapiro.
--- New Orleansite P9312a

Holy Father, he tried to get by
Using slip knots instead of a tie.
Sister Chris said not
A word; up she got
And tried instead a Rabbi.
--- Frank Rosenbaum

By the swimming hole, on a shortcut,
Priest and rabbi spied lots of bare butt.
The priest lost his poise,
Said, "Let's go fuck those boys!"
And the rabbi replied, "Out of what?"
--- John Miller

A resolute rabbi from Miles
Impressed all the local gentiles
With his power of belief
When he bent with his teeth
And circumsized all of his piles.
--- Hugh Oliver A073D

Our rabbi (Oy veh! Kinehora!)
Tried to schtup a young girl named Devorah --
He leapt to attack,
When a voice from the back
Yelled, "Hey, schmuck-face! First put back the Torah!"

(Kinehora - let no evil befall)
--- Robin K Willoughby P8707

There once was a rabbi named Job,
Who wore nothing under his robe.
You want to know why?
Caught his dick in his fly,
And you won't find a fly on a robe.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A rabbi, a nun, and a monk
Went into the town for a drunk;
The rabbi got laid,
The nun only prayed,
The monk ended up in a funk.
--- Cap'n Bean P0308

A rabbi, a priest, and a nun
Decided to have some good fun.
But they're all so religious
And highly litigious --
That I fear that my story is done.
--- Paul Chernoff a

The nun we did learn was a tart;
To the nunnery she did depart,
And learned on the way
It meant house of good lay.
And that is how she got her start.
--- Arden

There was a young rabbi named Pete,
Who circumcised youngsters quite neat.
But during the Passover
They kicked his ass over,
For selling the clippings as meat.
--- G1142

A rabbi magician of Deever
Could hoodwink the sharpest perceiver,
For the tricks he could do
With a foreskin or two,
Would surprise the devoutest believer.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1002

There was a young rabbi named Hadley
Whose congreants treated him badly.
A house on a poor street;
He could not make ends meet;
He left from his posts rather sadly.
--- Arthur Pattaffy

The Rabbi Jeremiah C. Keller
Kept his underwear locked in the cellar,
'Cause slinky pink briefs
With kinky motifs,
Aren't kosher or cool on a feller.
--- Curly Hare

The Reverend Percival Monday
After giving his sermon one Sunday,
Went out to the lot,
To a well hidden spot,
Where he balled Widow Bates in her Hyundai.
--- Cap'n Bean P0208

A reverend out in Dumont
Keeps a tropical fish in the font.
Though it always surprises
The babes he baptizes,
It seems to be just what they want.
--- Morris Bishop

The Reverend Ron says it's libel
To mention he's humping his Bible.
Its pages are icky,
He semem is sticky.
Like Onan, to die he is liable.
--- Ward Hardman

When caught, he turns red and he wheezes,
"My personal savior is Jesus!"
With no youth to molest,
I'll sit here, all undressed,
To await my reward when Hell freezes."
--- Ward Hardman

"My name is the Reverend Beach;
I honor God's ways in the breach;
It's not that I'm shameless,
I am close to blameless --
I merely don't do what I preach."
--- Armand E Singer 897

As the acolytes bared their fat rears,
The Reverend Father McQueers
Said, unsheathing his tool:
"Rectums still make me drool,
Though I've buggered them daily for years."
--- G1153

The Right Reverend Archibald Drew
Played poker games and won quite a few.
"It's the good Lord I thank,"
Said he at the bank,
But those cards up the sleeve helped him too.
--- Michael Weinstein P9511

Said the Reverend Jabez McCotton,
"The waltz of the Devil's begotten!"
Said Jones to Miss Bly,
"Never mind the old guy,
To the pure, almost everything's rotten!"
--- Isaac Asimov

In his pulput the Reverend Goff
During sermons delights to jerk off.
It seems quite ironical
Something so uncanonical
Parishioners pick on to scoff!
--- G1112

With life's sordid pleasures you're bored?
Quit boasting of how much you've scored.
Renounce now such evil,
And I, Reverend Steve'll
Help you put your faith in the Lord.
--- Reverend Thrust

Please give up these wicked perversions
And seek ye some spiritual diversion.
To your local church go,
And, you never know,
You may undergo a conversion.

(when Hell freezes - McW)
--- Reverend Thrust

"I've always been somewhat dismayed
By good women," said Reverend Wade.
"The more fervor they show
At revivals, you know,
The more eager they are to get laid."
--- A N Wilkins P8706a

Reverend Johnson was very devout,
But at time he let too much hang out.
Now the Reverend's deposed
For what he exposed.
(Unlike Clinton, who has too much clout)
--- John Miller 0305 A

When the Reverend Frogdiddle Stead
First saw his new bride bare in bed,
He knelt at his prayers,
But his nose bumped some hairs,
So he hopped on and fucked her instead.
--- G1161

That self-styled preacher named Jesse,
Of my barbs he is often addressee.
He's king of the spades,
But I'll see him in Hades --
The results, rest assured, will be messy.
--- William F Buckley P8606

"What cute little bones in your nose;
Designer bones one would suppose.
Versace?" "Oh no,
Marks and Spencer, you know,
And the big one is Reverend Joe's."
--- Peter Wilkins

A whore and a horny young Reverend
Did fuck till she thought it would never end.
When done with her cunny,
He left it all runny,
Then decided to bugger her nether end.
--- Hugh Clary

Now don't be surprised it's so clear
To me why the Rev Morgan's so dear.
To you little drunk gal
'Cause you love above all,
That his miracle pipe blown, supplies beer.
--- Anon

Let us pray and let's sing us
Into the mood that will bring us
Nearer to our goal,
For a far lesser role,
For that weeny thing that we call dingus.
--- Anon

"Though Meg's dead," said Reverend Reeve,
"We Christians, Art, like to believe,
That body is gone,
But spirit lives on;
To give you advice, don't then grieve."
--- Anon

This is file ubm

She'll watch over you, always, so
Feel comfort, wherever you go.
She'll always be there
To answer a prayer."
But Arthur cried: "Please, heaven, no!
--- Anon

"She never in life gave me head;
I thus took my chance now she's dead,
Laid out in her coffin
To give a mouth boffin'.
She'll come down and haunt me, I dread."
--- Anon

The vicar said: "Hope for the best,
I know of these things and attest,
I've never met a spook,
In my time, though I've took
Such pleasures in chapels of rest."
--- Anon

As she sucked off the Reverend Brock,
Mae noticed odd pits on his cock.
She inquired, with a sniff,
"Is it clap, sir, or syph?
You should drag that pocked cock to a doc!"
--- G1903

On TV with Reverend Bard,
Paw on knees was praying real hard.
Maw cried, "What a wheezer!
Put your prick in the freezer!
It's the only way 'twill ever get hard."
--- Dom P8706

Reverend Johnson got slapped into jail
For molesting some under-age quail,
Where old Bubba made haste
To give him a taste
Of an oversized tool in the tail.
--- John Miller 0303

The daughters of Reverend Muns
Had perky, delectable buns;
They were ogled each week,
From the pews made of teak,
By the horny parishioners' sons.
--- Cap'n Bean P0011

Rev Sharpton is a public clown.
Rev Jackson wears his phony frown.
Both keep belting their song,
But the grammar is wrong;
Rev's an adjective, not a noun.
--- Ernest Lefever Lib Lim

The venerable Reverend O'Grady,
Acquired a scent quite shady.
His farts during service
Made his congreants nervous,
Though he lets them out slow, like a lady.
--- Grand Prix Lim 189 G1417A

It is a most cruel discipline
For the Reverend to be soft on sin.
But a far sharper goad
On the Heaven-bound road
Is premature softness, once in.
--- Jim Jambor P9009

There once was a boring young Reverend,
Who preached till it seemed he would never end.
His congreants, en masse,
Got a pain in the ass,
And prayed, for relief of their nether end.
--- L1525A

The Reverend Ian Paisley
Is crooked, dishonest and weasily.
He does, I will wager,
Suck the dick of John Major,
Which is, I'd imagine, quite measly.
--- Gene Brady

Said the Reverend S. McCord Crothers,
My very dear sisters and brothers;
We are met, are we not,
To hear what I forgot
To tell Crothers to tell to the others.
--- Conrad Aiken

When they found the luscious Miss Wall
Being raped in the drafty church hall,
The Rt. Reverend Vance
Shot off twice in his pants,
And two vestrymen felt their balls crawl!
--- G1172

The kinky old Reverend Mick
Used to tie the bell rope to his dick.
At the pealing of eight,
He would ejaculate
And by nine he'd be physically sick.
--- Paul Graham

At our Church picnic Reverend McNutt
Was fetching charcoal from the hut,
When well-rounded Mabel
Bent over the table.
"Holy Moly!" McNutt said, "NICE BUTT!"
--- Michael Wenstein P0208

Reverend Billy said, "I hate to tell ya'
But our 'outreach' is destined for failure.
Yes, by God, I'm appalled!
One man asked, when he called,
'Which Sunday's your next Saturnalia?'"
--- Robin K Willoughby P8707

The Reverend O'Shay ran away;
He left town on this very day.
He has indigestion
That comes from the question:
"Who told my wife that I was gay?"
--- Anon

A student enrolled in Theology
Confessed to his priest an apology:
"I'm distracted by lasses
With nice tits and asses,
And thoughts of applied gynecology."
--- Alex Heydon

With no condemnation outright,
The pastor considered his plight.
With his thoughtfulness done,
He said, "Listen, my son,
A few words may help provide some light."
--- Alex Heydon

"Because its God's work that you've chosen,
Doesn't mean that your testes are frozen.
I too, am beguiled
And morally trialed,
By temptations that come by the dozen."
--- Alex Heydon

"Like provocative teenage celebs,
They'll entangle you fast in their webs.
In a manner coquettish,
They'll prey on your fetish,
Until your resolve finally ebbs."
--- Alex Heydon

"But, of course, I don't know this first hand,"
The priest added, "So please understand,
I get these impressions
From hearing confessions,"
He said with a mild reprimand.
--- Alex Heydon

He went on, "Any male in my fold
Could be ravaged by harlots so bold,
They'd make impolite glances,
Immoral advances.
They won't settle for 'No' I'm told!"
--- Alex Heydon

"These insatiable sex-starved carousers,
Set upon you like bone-hungry Bowzers.
Less the patience of Job,
They will strip off your robe,
My mistake!...What I meant was your trousers."
--- Alex Heydon

His whisper now heightened to ranting,
Like a rhythmic Gregorian chanting.
With sweat on his face,
He stared into space
And his breathing was laboured with panting.
--- Alex Heydon

"And, likewise, they'll start to undress,
So you try any ruse you can guess.
Then before you can flee,
They are naked, All three!
You are forced to "at last", acquiesce."
--- Alex Heydon

"Then comes the part that you've dreaded,
When the strumpets demand to be bedded.
You rally your strength
And pump them, at length,
The brunette, then the blond, then the redhead."
--- Alex Heydon

"After shamelessly humping like rabbits,
All three climb back into their habits,
Saying, "Breakfast can wait.
We don't want to be late,
For our morning retreat with the abbots."
--- Alex Heydon

What could the poor student then do?
His repentance considered anew.
Was he in the wrong place?
Could he still attain grace,
If the priest's bawdy tales were all true?
--- Alex Heydon

The priest then declared this vernacular;
"Your prospects for sex are spectacular.
Don't get lead astray
By the girls that are lay.
Study hard, and then lay the non-secular".
--- Alex Heydon

Are you tired of doin' it alone,
And about to reap what you've sown?
Visit John, if you like
(It's just a short hike)
With samples of your best home-grown.
--- Anon

But what if those chicks get the flu?
I know not, John, neither do you,
How that we could stand,
If kissing them's banned,
I really don't know what we'd do.
--- Anon

I once met that Kate, tried to shag 'er,
And off to the bed tried to drag 'er.
Alas lost my way,
And called it a day;
That's the problem with such double-baggers.
--- Anon