MORE
The penis of Grandfather Lynch A buddy who's nicknamed Big Pete He had to go with his friends to eat One glance at our new Chief of Staff There was a young man from Hong Kong There once was a man from Hong Kong A lusty old guy from Lahore A young guy who hails from St Peters, Though when she reads this, she'll frown, A buxom young girl named McLoutch There once was a young man named Rick, Now it's only four-foot-four.
A Jazz-bandsman had such massive sacs, "These SPAM adverts all can't be wrong," That lovely young lady, Culard, You've seen penile ads on the line; So you guys who claim up to a meter, There was a young fellow of Strensall, There was a young man on a yacht I woke up one hot summer morn In the temple they prize Brother Wong, The boners of Bernie McRose There's a young man, pretty as a picture Excuse my quick outburst, oh please! There once was a boy they called Rob, From the fly of a fellow named Young, Cried a long-peckered person named Ed, The joyprong on Ichabod Creep As a rule, a young sexy named Rose No wonder that man of Devizes There was a young man from Gomorrah, The vicar of Chester-le-Street (used as a pole or as a worm?- McW)
There was a young man from St Peters, There once was a man, name of Peter There once was a hunk from Hong Kong, This winter I plan to be bold There was a young Commonwealth copper There was a young cowboy out West, A minstrel, a wonderful bard, A contortionist hailing from Lynch, On the bridge they got out of their Jeep, There was a young man from Dundee My inches are now sixty four; An Abo his tribesmen all toast, A Goliath of Pine Island Sound A well endowed man from Dundee, But wait! It was me in the gloom, A Chinese coolie named Wong So here was this fellow named Wong, An Alaskan and Tex had drunk masses The Texan was such a big creep, Friday night at the club, Miss Diane A loss like that cuts like a knife Two Bros, after drinking some beer, (Just in case you are one of the few I was born with a slight birth defect; It's a big one and make no mistake, You'd think it was some sort of crime An aptly named fellow named Lance With his perpetually priapic tool You post a fifteen incher, pard? Of Sister Chris, I've not had the pleasure, She said, "He is handsome and smart, When tickling her heart with my futcheon, Some people now think I just brag You run up the flag, I'll salute. I offer this brief explanation While digging, in June, a new well,
As a clothesline is used, in a pinch.
On the days his wife washes,
He dons pipe and galoshes,
And reels the thing out with a winch.
--- Grand Prix Lim 836 G0386
Can perform a most magical fete.
With a laugh and a chuckle,
He undoes his belt buckle,
And his penis rolls out to his feet.
--- Karl Sydney
And his dick was about 7 feet
He wrapped it 'round his thigh
And went walking; what a guy!
But there he hid it under his seat.
--- Anon
Is enough to make anyone laugh.
The silly old fool
Has a seven-foot tool,
Which he drapes 'round his neck like a scarf.
--- Michael Horgan
Whose pecker was seven feet long.
By careful recursion,
He'd engage in perversion
With a gay, two girls and a gong.
--- John Miller 0137a
Whose pecker was seven foot long.
He said with a smile,
"Let me strum it awhile,
While my wife entertains with a song."
--- John Miller
Had a penis of six feet or more.
You'd think he'd be glad
But instead he was sad--
He could use but the first three or four.
--- G0378
Had balls which contained sixty litres.
They called him a wimp,
'Cause he walked with a limp,
But his cock, it measured six meters.
--- Anon
I made the girls go to town.
I kept them not lonely,
Although I am only
As tall standing up as lying down.
--- Anon
Was screwed by a man on her couch.
He was robust and strong,
With a pecker so long
When he walked, he would step on it -- OUCH!
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0538
Who had a ten-foot prick.
He showed it to the neighbor next door.
She thought it was a snake.
She hit it with a rake.
--- Anon
They took all the room in his slacks.
His dong was so long,
He could drum to a song,
When he stood up to play tenor sax.
--- Hamilton Zealand
I thought, and applied to my dong
Pills, patches and creams;
They all worked, it seems.
The damn thing is now 30 feet long.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Met a man who prick measured a yard.
Although he was black
She would lie on her back
As long as nine inches were hard.
--- G0556
Well I've tried them all, upon mine.
The trouble, my friend,
It won't cease to extend;
Now I must skewer three at a time.
--- Tony Burrell
Just what do you do with your peter
To stay in control
When it snakes down the hole,
Or mingles with shit by the liter?
--- John Miller
Whose prick was as sharp as a pencil.
On the night of his wedding,
It went through the bedding,
And shattered a bedroom utensil.
--- Playboy Mag L0242
Who could tie his long dong in a knot.
His girlfriend, named Daisy,
Said it drove her crazy,
Each time it was stuck in her slot.
--- Anon
And found, with that curse, I was born;
But I'm not remorseful,
It fills my ol' horseful,
And ties around my saddle's horn.
--- Anon
Whose wang is a dozen feet long!
It can ring all the bells,
And whenever it swells,
It's quite handy for bonging the gong!
--- Vassar W Smith P9304
Could not be concealed by his clothes;
For when they got hard,
They grew more than a yard,
And they rose to the tip of his nose.
--- Cap'n Bean P0111
Whose dong reaches the ceiling light fixture.
In the socket flourescent
It will fit when it's bent.
Good Lord! What an enlightening stricture!
--- Arthur Deex P0409
My brain is composed of Swiss cheese.
I had no idea
That I'd ever see a
Guy hung like you are, to the knees!
--- SFA
Who had a real long, pointed knob.
He skewered four lasses
Right through all their asses
And had the world's first tush kabob.
--- David Miller
Twelve inches of penis had sprung.
He called it "Big Clyde,"
And the day that he died,
They framed it, and once more he's hung.
--- Bob Birch P0507
"I hate fucking flat on a bed.
With my twenty-inch tool,
I look like a fool
For I'm up near the ceiling, instead!"
--- G0320
Makes trollops he trafficks with weep.
His twenty-inch tool
Gets small use, as a rule,
For you find damn few whores half that deep!
--- G0300
Is more calm than you'd ever suppose,
But she did hit the fan
When in old Cy ran
And unravelled his twenty-inch hose!
--- Grand Prix Lim 607
Is the winner of so many prizes.
His staff, when at ease,
Goes twice 'round his knees,
And it tickles his chin when it rises!
--- G0311
Whose cock was two cubits or morrah.
Though not welcome in Sodom,
What really got him
Was rejection by every last whorah.
--- John Miller 0137b
Had a whang not far short of two feet.
He remarked rather smugly,
"It gives all the ugly
Old trout in my parish a treat."
--- Anon
Whose dong measured fully two meters.
Just one thing was wrong,
This magnificent prong
Played only a few local theaters.
--- John Miller 0137a
Whose prick was just short of a metre.
When wanting to ball,
An assistant on call
Was needed to help just to feed her.
--- Onewayout
This is file tzl
Whose peter was two meters long,
Which he handled so slick,
He could enter a chick
'Neath the hem of her floor length sarong.
--- Jon Gearhart
And hang it out, fully unrolled,
And see if I gets
To win a few bets,
In spite of the wind and the cold.
--- Anon
Whose pride was a really fine whopper.
Twice 'round the bed,
Then over his head,
And then up his arse for a stopper.
--- G0299
Whose prick reached right up to his chest.
Girls fainted with fright
At the terrible sight,
So he hid it away in his vest.
--- Michael Horgan
When aroused, was known to get hard.
He could hammer a nail,
Or skewer a quail,
Or hang clothes on it out in the yard.
--- Stan
Used to rent out his tool by the inch.
A foot cost a quid,
He could and he did
Stretch into three in a pinch.
--- L0189
And unzipped without nary a peep.
One with ego quite bold,
Claimed the water was cold;
The other said, "Yeah, and it's deep!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Whose penis drooped down to his knee.
All the whores were impressed
As it rose past his chest,
And allowed him to fuck them for free.
--- Anon
To drag it around is a chore.
It's one saving grace
Is back at my place,
I've taught it to open the door
--- SFA
Has a penis so long he can boast,
It will glide out alone
Late at night on its own,
Seducing young girls of the coast.
--- G0468
Had a dong that would drag on the ground,
So he carried it high,
Unconstrained by a fly,
Wound around...and around...and around...
--- Keith MacMillan A036Aa
Did find it most awkward to pee.
At the end, to his friend,
Said, "A hand, can you lend?
As you're clearly much closer than me!"
--- Doug Harris P0607
When Maude slapped at my wonderful plume.
If indeed you were there,
It was next to Bev's chair,
On the other side of the room.
Had the longest dong in his tong.
His fellows all voted
To have him promoted,
And used it for striking a gong.
--- G0494
Attached to this monstrous great dong.
Said his girl, "Yes, your prick
Is remarkedly thick,
But why must it be so darned long."
--- G0495
Of beer in the largest of glasses.
Going home, they said, "We
Ought to stop for a pee."
On a bridge they sat down on their asses.
--- Stan Armstrong
Telling tales that were awfully steep.
"We must really be bold,
This water is cold!"
But his buddy said, "Yeah, but not deep."
--- Stan Armstrong
Made it known that she wanted a man.
We all sprang to our feet,
Each inflating his meat,
But I lost her to Dan by a span
--- Lotho Baggins
And causes a feller much strife;
But don't worry, son,
Go on and have fun:
I'm takin' good care of your wife.
--- Travis Brasell
Took a whiz off the end of the pier.
One Bro said "Mother!
Water's cold!" Said the other,
"And the bottom is muddy, too, here."
--- John Miller 0007a
Who don't get the joke on these two:
Both men are bragging
'Bout how much they're dragging;
How they knew what they knew is a clue.)
--- John Miller 0007b
A penis that when it's erect
Was longer by three
Inches than me.
And which no one saw fit to correct.
--- Paul Boston
About twenty four inches, give or take.
It's difficult to sit
Without sitting on it,
And erections give me a headache.
--- Paul Boston
Having a penis like mine.
The last whore I tried
Took one look and cried,
"I'll charge by the foot, not the time!"
--- Paul Boston
Was perpetually bulging his pants.
It was too painful to ride;
Walking injured his pride.
He retired to farming in France,
--- Stephen Ross
That had once made him feel like a fool,
He could furrow the fields
For enormous yields,
And need neither harness nor mule.
--- Stephen Ross
The girls around here won't be scarred.
I hope you've good mirth
Or it's made up in girth,
'Cause we measure out by the yard.
--- Cyber Wizard
I'd gallop forty miles for her treasure;
Caressed by her hand,
My fifteen inch gland
Would pleasure her treasure "sans measure."
--- David Miller
And sports a tremendous long part.
I love him to death,
But can't catch my breath
Whenever he tickles my heart.
--- H Welchel
She barely can breathe, I've so much in.
She can't cry or speak,
Much less poop or leak,
And farting is out of the question.
--- H Welchel
About my long dong that I drag
Or use when Ms. Dole
Says, "Bring over that pole;
We need it for hoisting the flag!"
--- Travis Brasell
Since my eyesight is not too acute,
My dear, but I'm glad,
Though it makes you sad,
That your flagpole's so very minute.
--- Marlene Lewis
With hope it will end speculation,
About my own whereabouts
A fortnight or thereabouts,
Lest morons are thinking: "Vacation?"
--- Travis Brasell
I tripped on my dick and I fell
Inside the deep hole
And, Oh!, bless my soul,
The landing, of course, hurt like hell.
--- Travis Brasell
MORE